This is how to be an absolute sweetheart and a total badass at the same time;

[ivankiss]

So in light of the recent discussions on the forum... I thought this had to be highlighted.

It's not like either you're a strong macho dick, you cut to the case, take no bullshit and play no games

Or 

You're a timid, sweet, kind and overly friendly, people-pleasing carebare.

No.

Those are two polarities and they can be integrated. They can be mixed and balanced.

You can be kind, loving, compassionate, funny and interesting, but also a hardcore, badass motherfucker - at the same time. 

Watch and learn:

This is of course just one such example. I happened to be a big fan of Dev. I'm sure there are many more examples of a well balanced energy like this. 

Please do share; if someone pops up in your mind.

[ivankiss]

Here's another good one:

 

[cle103]

Great thread idea! I'm always looking for examples along the same lines. 

Here are some that I found/resonate with.  
 

1. Rashad Evans (ex mma fighter): 

 

2. Paul Stamets:

 

3. Wim Hof:

 

4. Bill Hicks (comedian). Video quality is shit but the dude is legit: 

 

There are also some movie examples but they're not on top of mind atm. 

[ivankiss]

@cle103 Awesome! Thank you! 

[ll Ontology ll]

@ivankiss You're playing with illusion when you're playing with persona, that means you're being convinced by your own self created illusion that you hope others are going to be convinced by as well. Lotta mind fuckery going on there, just saying. There's like zero persona with me. That's honestly where you want to get to. Now imagine trying to be a rabbit and you played that part so well in your mind that you convinced yourself that you were a rabbit, everyone else would just think you were crazy, right? 

The only difference here is with the persona you're still looking like you're acting human but under closer inspection with any eye opening person they'd be able to pick it. I know and get the difficulty, but I'm telling you straight man you want to be just going head on straight into raising your awareness and acting from there as candidly as possible and just making sure all your other shit is together. You've gotta be asking yourself as well, who is the persona for if you're looking for a true relationship? What is this fabricated social construct you've created to justify the need for the persona? Aren't you just gonna feel so much better to be around on an energetic level if you're just vibing with you, what's real within you and the shit you gotta get done in the world? This just my take. 

There's no dichotomy trust me, that's just confirmation bias because that shit has been thrown at the lenses of your eyes repeatedly so then you believe it and then just start creating shit in relation to it to the point where one day you decide to write it about it here. There's just humans wandering around being human with shit flying around in their head for some its merry poppins on stilts while wearing a bikini without waxing, for others its solving rudimentary chemistry equations and then for others its teenage boys and girls developing their first crush but having no real self awareness on that state to the point where they can think beyond the anxiety they have so feel the need to act cool, etc or just not a certain way in front of the girl they like. If you raise your awareness, you'll solve so many other problems than what a temporary social mirror can do which will eventually break under pressure anyhow. 

Edited May 17, 2021 by ll Ontology ll

[ivankiss]

@ll Ontology ll Thank you for your input. Do not exactly understand why you are concerned with the fact that I'm playing around with the persona/illusion though.

Are you trying to save me from something or...? 

I enjoy this. It's a project I like working on. I'm passionate about it. Yeah I get frustrated sometimes during the process, but that's just part of the game. 

 

[ll Ontology ll]

@ivankiss Sure sounds interesting. So tell me about the project, what are your goals? I'm quite passionate about psychology I'd love to add good feedback if I can.

[ivankiss]

@ll Ontology ll There's a picture in my mind and some legos in front of me. I'm just building my vision. 

[LastThursday]

15 minutes ago, ll Ontology ll said:

There's like zero persona with me.

I must be projecting then. You've got more persona than most on here.

@ivankiss you've hit the nail on the head. We all could do with more "dynamic range" in our behaviours, especially men in general. I would also say that being more flexible this way will make you identify less with being hard or soft - which will decrease suffering in the long run.

[ll Ontology ll]

@ivankiss Sure shoot when you're ready.

@LastThursday Like a billboard you pass speeding down a highway from hookers never paid  . Yeah its projection, can't see reality without it so good luck avoiding it. 

 

[ivankiss]

@LastThursday Precisely!

6 minutes ago, ll Ontology ll said:

Yeah its projection, can't see reality without it so good luck avoiding it. 

 

... Unless you are reality. No need to see anything then.

[ll Ontology ll]

@LastThursday And feel free to put anything to me at any time. With me here's my advice, just confront me about it and I'll speak to you candidly. There's never going to ever be any avoidance on any issue unless its of a personal nature. I feel that saying this will give you a bit more confidence around me to speak so then your mind never feels the need to make assumptions like that. Just attack whatever is on your mind there and I'll respond accordingly with proper measurement.

@ivankiss Ha. Indeed I am.

[ll Ontology ll]

@ivankiss @LastThursday And let's just be clear that you guys are the ones advocating for persona and I'm not. Just so we're on the same page. Got it.

[ivankiss]

@ll Ontology ll And you're the one having a problem with something that supposedly doesn't exist. Get it?

[LastThursday]

10 minutes ago, ll Ontology ll said:

@LastThursday And feel free to put anything to me at any time. With me here's my advice, just confront me about it and I'll speak to you candidly. There's never going to ever be any avoidance on any issue unless its of a personal nature. I feel that saying this will give you a bit more confidence around me to speak so then your mind never feels the need to make assumptions like that. Just attack whatever is on your mind there and I'll respond accordingly with proper measurement.

Should the need arise I will, thanks for your openness. My poke was just to make sure you're not deluding yourself, but I can see that there's nothing see here, so I'll retract my projection. Peace.

[ll Ontology ll]

@ivankiss no games please this is boring now.

@LastThursday Yeah all good. One game is fine. But yeah we both probably feel the same about them and +2 on what I said, whenever you feel it. I mean, viewing myself objectively I'd raise at least one fine eyebrow at some of the stuff I wrote on here haha but at the end of the day its just me exploring different aspects of myself more than it is "trying to be something". Peace and peaches.

[ivankiss]

@ll Ontology ll Damnit. I thought you wanted to dance ?

[ll Ontology ll]

@ivankiss As long as we get to do a mexican wave as well. And tap shoes. I busked as a kid (the shoes), made millions if we converted the cash to the 1300's and brought it back to this period.

[ll Ontology ll]

@LastThursday Was it my sex talk soundcloud? We could re-listen to it together again if you like. Focus on certain parts. 

[LastThursday]

6 minutes ago, ll Ontology ll said:

its just me exploring different aspects of myself more than it is "trying to be something"

I think we're both using different words for the same thing. Personally, I wouldn't advocate more strongly identifying with any type of behaviour, but simply having a larger "wardrobe" of behaviours to "try things on from": pastels on Monday and lumberjack on Tuesday.