Of course, there are physical traits that I have that are not appealing to women (which makes it worse). But in general, I'd say I could probably find someone if it weren't for the social anxiety. And maybe my personality which only a handful of people in general appreciate (I will not and cannot pretend that I am not interested in enlightenment or some other interests only / and that I care about Supreme, rap music, smoking weed everyday, drinking etc. / only to get sex and a relationship I'm not happy with). The issue is, the words ''social'', ''public'' and such all make me cringe. It is hard wired deep inside of me that I want nothing to do with being social. I have tried countless times to push myself out of my comfort zone and it is not working out (there's always someone that ruins my progress anyway). I hate having to force myself to become something I'm not, and then on the other hand the torture of being alone (friendships & relationship wise) kills me. It's a tough spot that I've accepted. I feel like, and ''know'' I'm gonna die alone. No amount of medication, drugs or whatever is strong enough to kill the social anxiety. And no, alcohol does not work in this regard.  The only instance where I can be talking to people IRL (and I mean in general, of course I know I have to force myself really hard when it comes to coworkers or something money/family related) is if they talk to me first. Then it is much easier. This is how I made 99% percent of the friends I have ever had. I have no clue how, one day, this issue could be fixed. Of course it comes from the ego and its fear of what they think of it / victim mode. I was raised that way, unfortunately. Does anyone have any suggestion? At this point I ran out of idea on how to beat this. Therapy does not work. Drugs didn't make a difference. Exposure doesn't work out.  Is enlightenment the only way or am I fooling myself once again?