Is it unhealthy to idolize people? (& how to stop it)

[Podie45]

I have idolized a fair amount of people in my life which ended up being people I shouldn't have idolized at all - or they straight up sucked / were deceiving / grew up to realize how shitty they were.

How unhealthy is it to do this? Can it be constructive or is it always a curse?

No matter how many times I end up being deceived, I just start idolizing someone else (It could be friends, family, public persona etc.)

If this is truly a bad habit, how do I stop putting some people on a pedestal? 

[BipolarGrowth]

Broaden your understanding across many disciplines and trust your own insights and conclusions as well if you want to lower the chance of idolizing a specific individual. 
 

Idolizing someone isn’t always necessarily a bad thing. In many cases it could take you in the right direction, but it is always going to be a sort of crutch. Until you reclaim your own authority, you will be forced to operate in limited ways. 

[kinesin]

@Podie45  Ask yourself - what is the reason you find yourself idolising these people?  If I myself look back to various people I've idolised over the years, it's been because the character I happened to be at those times saw something to learn or gain from those individuals.  Maybe they exemplified a character trait which I myself wanted to develop, or they expressed perspectives which I found myself drawn to.  Over time each of these idolisations faded as my priorities and interests continued to shift.

You say that you later realised many of those people were bad in some way and that you shouldn't have been idolising them.  Have you considered the possibility that you only realised the errors of their ways because you'd allowed yourself to fully explore them?  If you had never idolised them at all, would you have reached those same understandings about their failings?  Would you have recognised those issues within yourself, and been able to move beyond them?

Making mistakes, falling into wrong beliefs and delusions, idolising the wrong people... all of these can be greatly beneficial things.  Often it is only by going partway down the wrong path that we become able to recognise the right one.  There's nothing wrong with being wrong.  The only thing you need to have with you at all times is the willingless and ability to backtrack in your views.  The last thing you want is to reach a point where you realise you've followed the wrong person or wrong belief, but that you've gone too far for example by loudly proclaiming to everybody that X thing is the best, or getting a tattoo of Y.  To give an analogy - think of hardcore Trump supporters, specifically those who still to this day believe that Trump is the legal president and that Biden is a clone giving fake addresses from a soundstage.  Why are those people stuck in that particular hell?  Because they walled themselves into it by publicly self-identifying with Trump to such an extent that they can't backtrack without a soul-destroying level of embarassment.  Simply don't make those kinds of actions (for example telling all your family that Leo Gura is the new prophet) and you'll be alright.

[Nahm]

@Podie45

It’s the identity held up as an idol, but their identity is your idea. There is a key distinction, between being deceived and deceiving oneself. There is a natural learning curve from experience. Nothing to wallow in or dwell on. It’s as natural and helpful as feeling, understanding and expressing jealousy. It’s good to feel it and express, not so good to feel it and suppress. Look for links in how you think of yourself in opposite ways to those you might idolize. Utilize the emotion of jealousy to recognize interests, hobbies, activities, pursuits, etc, that you are interested in. Feel the ‘burn’ of the thoughts like ‘I can’t’, ‘I’m not x, y, or z enough’, ‘I’d never be able to’, etc. Focus on how good it feels when you align such thoughts and ideas with ‘who you really ‘ are. Most ‘great things’ or ‘accomplishments’ for which one could lean towards idolizing someone for, began with that person choosing the thought alignment of ‘I can’. With first believing and seeing ‘x, y, or z is possible’ ‘for me’. The fundamental underlying current if you will, of this situation, is love. If reluctant to allow and receive love for yourself, it is sought from a secondary source. The more love is allowed reception and earnestly expressed, the more it is clear the love is coming from within. 

[fridjonk]

 

[Nahm]

@Zeroguy

Awesome.

[Zeroguy]

It's true. Will visit hungary can't be better. 

Life is fun. 

@fridjonkagreed. 

Edited May 15, 2021 by Zeroguy

[ivankiss]

It can be healthy or helpful short term, but it can quickly and easily turn into toxicity.

You are not bigger than anything.

Nothing is bigger than you.