3.5g Mexicube Trip Report

[gggkkk]

This trip was done on day 4 of a 9 day solo retreat.

I stepped out of the cabin to the deck area, where I was planning to trip. The property I have rented was secluded in nature. I boiled water and made a mushrooms tea. While the magic poison was being released into the tea, I was placing blankets onto the deck where I would be lying, to gaze at the sky. I drank the tea at 12:25PM and started meditating. 

Onset: 
In less than 30 minutes I noticed my breathing becoming deeper and heavier as the experience was about to unfold. As usual I got the initial giggles and yawns, but soon started to walk anxiously as the intensity was rising at an exponential rate. As this was happening my body was getting heavier and weaker, so I decided to go back to the deck area to lie down and surrender.

Peak:

Time, language and my beliefs about reality all flew out of the window, while me being pinned to the ground, barely able to move. I closed my eyes and was seeing mushrooms from a bottom view, somehow telling me that soon I am going to be launched somewhere I have never been before. Then I started seeing these amorphous beings inviting me and trying to lift me up to their world. After a while I opened my eyes and there I was, on cloud nine. Right away I saw this mushroom shaped cloud smoking a cigar and blowing off cloud smoke out of itself. I rose up to see the rest of the clouds. This was the first time I felt pure peace while staring at this breathtaking view. It was as if I was on top of Himalayas looking down at the clouds. It's truly impossible to describe it in words. At this point my mind was totally blank. I was in heaven. I couldn't even tell whether I was dead or alive. 
It was at this moment I realized that each and every moment needs to be loved and appreciated, since that's the only thing we have of reality, which will soon become a distant memory. Then came the answer to my intended question (Why am I alive?) which was simply to learn how to love. This threw me into a total rapture. Different memories of my loved ones came up, completely breaking me down emotionally as I became conscious of their temporary existence on this planet and my failure to love them unconditionally. The pillow I was lying on was soaked in my tears. 

Comedown:

I started acting very strange, making sounds of a woman, a tiger, a monkey and a bird as if I was experiencing through my past lives. 
The comedown was somewhat depressing, especially being on this long retreat I started noticing my mind entertaining the idea of quitting and going back. I actually ended up completing the retreat.
This was the highest dose I have ever done. I can't even imagine what more can be beyond this. Those doing 5g are truly worthy to be called heroes.

INSIGHTS (after contemplation): 
 

• Words and ideas are not truth. They truly are just pointers to experiences. 
• Our thinking is bound by our language which is extremely limited. 
• True value of things can only be realized once we've lost them. 
• Appreciate and love each and every moment. That's all we have of reality. The moment is temporary and soon will become a distant memory. 
• Life needs to be lived to be understood. 
• Life's greatest feelings and experiences cannot be conceptualized or explicated. 
• Happiness only exists in the present, that's why it's so hard to find by many. 
• Confidence is the ability to fully express yourself. 
• True insights are the ones derived from our direct consciousness/experiences.
  
  To Myself
• Others can only perceive what you project. Be true to yourself and express that fully. 
• Learn how to love more.
• Love yourself first. Learn how to work with your ego better. 
• Why focus on people's imperfections. Focus on their good qualities. 
• Say "thank you" every time you are about to eat a meal. 
• Focus on that which fills your soul with peace, love and joy. 
• Do what you are called for do what inspires you. It's all for fun. 
  
  And lastly stay humble, you ain't shit. 
  
  
  Ok that's it. Now I need to go deal with my ego backlash. 
  
  
   

 

Edited May 15, 2021 by gggkkk

[Gili Trawangan]

Nice insights, thanks for the share.