Light Experience - Could It Be Explained?

[SunAngel]

Hello! Finally I might have found the right place which could lead me towards possibly understanding an experience I have had. 

Three years ago my youngest child passed away after years of illness.
On the day of passing I had this experience that changed something inside of me, and still to this day I have no explanation nor understanding what it really was.

Lying beside my unconscious child in the hospital bed I suddenly went to some different state. For some time I sensed that I was inside a dark tunnel, carrying my child towards a Light. At the end of the tunnel there was a tall light being waiting, and I felt that I should hand my child into the arms of this being. Then I went back trough the tunnel and then suddenly I was back again in the hospital bed, realising that my child was no longer alive.

After burying my child, I have many times thought about this experience and I have felt a deep need to try to understand it. 

I have searched for understanding in many places - professionally, unprofessionally - and have had some glimpses of explanation, but not fully, not concretely. Most people, even professionals, whom I shared this experience with, have showed me compassion, love, and understanding that I need to believe something like this for coping with the death of my child, but no-one, ever could take this talk deep enough. I started to see that this is a really hard topic and people would rather avoid to delve into it, so after few attempts I started to get embarrassed and at some point finally stopped searching. 

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with my friend, who introduced me to the concept of spiral dynamics explained by Leo. In the past I was practicing some meditation, self development, positive psychology, but I would never consider myself as a spiritual person. But watching trough this videos made me realize that there could be something higher than I ever consider, and my experience with my child could be explained as this turquoise prove of different reality. This is how I've seen the chance of new possible answers within this community. Community of people for whom seeking higher experiences is the true passion. I decided to try here.

So I'd like to ask:

Is my experience something that could be explained? Have anybody experienced something similar? Can it be I was experiencing something on a higher level? Where should I seek further answers? In which form should I deepen my knowledge?

 

Sending Love and Light to all of you. 

 

[Dodo]

19 minutes ago, SunAngel said:

Hello! Finally I might have found the right place which could lead me towards possibly understanding an experience I have had. 

Three years ago my youngest child passed away after years of illness.
On the day of passing I had this experience that changed something inside of me, and still to this day I have no explanation nor understanding what it really was.

Lying beside my unconscious child in the hospital bed I suddenly went to some different state. For some time I sensed that I was inside a dark tunnel, carrying my child towards a Light. At the end of the tunnel there was a tall light being waiting, and I felt that I should hand my child into the arms of this being. Then I went back trough the tunnel and then suddenly I was back again in the hospital bed, realising that my child was no longer alive.

After burying my child, I have many times thought about this experience and I have felt a deep need to try to understand it. 

I have searched for understanding in many places - professionally, unprofessionally - and have had some glimpses of explanation, but not fully, not concretely. Most people, even professionals, whom I shared this experience with, have showed me compassion, love, and understanding that I need to believe something like this for coping with the death of my child, but no-one, ever could take this talk deep enough. I started to see that this is a really hard topic and people would rather avoid to delve into it, so after few attempts I started to get embarrassed and at some point finally stopped searching. 

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with my friend, who introduced me to the concept of spiral dynamics explained by Leo. In the past I was practicing some meditation, self development, positive psychology, but I would never consider myself as a spiritual person. But watching trough this videos made me realize that there could be something higher than I ever consider, and my experience with my child could be explained as this turquoise prove of different reality. This is how I've seen the chance of new possible answers within this community. Community of people for whom seeking higher experiences is the true passion. I decided to try here.

So I'd like to ask:

Is my experience something that could be explained? Have anybody experienced something similar? Can it be I was experiencing something on a higher level? Where should I seek further answers? In which form should I deepen my knowledge?

 

Sending Love and Light to all of you. 

 

Hi there. First off I love your username a lot. I've had experience with trapping some of the Sun's light in my eyes and when I stared at it with closed eyes, it started vibrating and a little tiny angel popped out of it and flew away (my eyes still closed).

Now I've also had an experience with tunnels as you mention. It was again in the park after sungazing. I had an experience of these tunnels I was travelling through, but I did not see light beings as you mention. So I can't tell you what your experience means really but I've had a similar one, so I don't think you're crazy at all. 

PS: I want to add that Im not lying about these, that's actually what was experienced. I dont know the meaning behind such an experience. Maybe some answers can be found in quantum physics about this perhaps?

Edited May 13, 2021 by Dodo

[Nahm]

@SunAngel

Very relatable, and sorry to hear of your loss. I’ve experienced similar, and find a correlation. Just as a way to explain, I find most people believe their understanding & labels upon feeling & emotion so deeply that they believe in and avoid ‘negative emotions’, vs embracing, listening to and exploring the entire emotional spectrum and allowing their guidance system to fully resonate in all of it’s shades. Another way to put this, most people live in emotional suppression but don’t know it. Some events in life trigger the projecting or the releasing of the suppressed emotions. 

An event such as you described doesn’t leave a lot of room for projection in a common triggering / thinking sense, but brings about profound sadness, and most notably a sorrow which I would describe as ‘below’ or ‘prior to’ sadness. Prior to the sorrow is love. Not romantically or passionately obviously, but you might say mystical, or love as an entity rather than a product of a relationship or experience. Unconditional, infinite love, which has no limit in it’s loving and comforting you. ‘Look’ for a comforting pungent peace in sorrow, and it is present.

Infinite can not know finite, and thus can not communicate in dualistic language. Imagery and the use of symbols is more ‘communicable’ in this mystical sorrow / love - peace frequency, or space. 

If you are interested not so much in trying to logically explain the experience via thought, but experiencing more of the mystical communication of infinite unconditional love, so to speak, you might try writing out the three primary reiki symbols daily. They serve as a connection / communication, which is not communicable through language, but if you ‘do the practice’ daily, you’ll see what I mean and I believe you’ll be glad you took the time as was I. I believe only then, wether by that method or another, you’ll have the answers you’re looking for.  God bless and sorry again to hear of your loss. Very difficult to go through indeed. 

You might also contemplate and inspect, that wherever there is light, it has a source. Wherever there is darkness, there is never a source of it or for it. 

[Tim R]

@SunAngel Welcome to the forum

My condolences... 

2 minutes ago, SunAngel said:

Is my experience something that could be explained?

The understanding of your experience will not come from any of us, for it is not to be understood in the ordinary sense.

Even if someone here has had a similar experience, there is no "explanation". Such an experience is not something to be "explained". Not because you can't project meaning on it, but because it's too... real. Don't explain it away. The value of such an experience does not lie in the meaning one projects on it, but in the felt experience itself. I hope you know what I mean. 

Yes, you can say "well, you handing over your child to the light being was a metaphor for letting your child go".

But... do you want this experience to be a metaphor? A symbol?

Or can you see it as an experience that is of the same nature as Love, Death, Birth, Friendship, Compassion, etc, which are not to be explained, for they are in their very nature not metaphorical - they are simply to be experienced as they are. Therein lies their true value.

 

This is only my very limited perspective. In the end, you will have to find all answers yourself❤

[kinesin]

The physical, mental and spiritual planes are mirror reflections of one another.  Many people these days view mental images and visions as being 'just' mental, as if their origination within the mind makes them innately meaningless.  This is not the case however, as the mental and spiritual are deeply entwined.  To give an answer from the mental perspective, that experience you had was a deep and subconscious mental construct.  It was a real-time visualisation of your mind's processing the act of letting go of your child and accepting that they were passing on, kind of like a waking dream which deeply symbolises the reality behind what is currently occurring.  The mind abides in the mental plane, but the content of the mind is reflected from the physical and spiritual planes.  A dream, a mental image, a symbol, a metaphor... these are not hollow illusions, they're direct reflections of a spiritual reality which can only be glimpsed through their mediums.

Nobody can tell you that the spiritual plane actually exists and that your child is actually abiding there, you can only realize it for yourself.  I personally believe it does exist, because I've seen its reflection in the physical and mental planes.

Edited May 13, 2021 by kinesin
adding more context

[Seraphim]

It's scientifically proven that you can take your vision outside your head. Look at this video where they teach children to see while blindfolded: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GonBODn_YjI

The tunnel is your consciousness and many people have seen this tunnel in out of body experiences, near death experiences, lucid dreaming etc. The scientist explains later in the video how it works. I believe your experience was real and if you want to, you can learn this skill of lucid dreaming or astral projection.

 

 

[mandyjw]

So sorry for your loss and welcome! I highly recommend "The Nature of Consciousness" by Rupert Spira. I think it will explain a lot and help you make some connections you're looking for. If it seems too weighty at first, try "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. 

[kinesin]

@Seraphim  Astral projection is absolutely real, but not in the way that video shows it.  I'm sorry if this offends, but we have to be quite harsh when it comes to blatant falsehoods which could cause a person to stray from the path of genuine truth and insight - that video is highly misleading and isn't demonstrating what it claims to be demonstrating.  The girl is simply looking at the objects through a tiny gap in the mask which opens up when she tilts her head - she even says so directly at a couple of points, for example at 7:20 when they say she's "seeing through the light spots in the mask" and 11:30 when she says "that one is a very small hole" and that she can see through it.  I'll be charitable to the adults in the room and suggest that they genuinely want to believe that she's not doing this and is infact seeing without sight, and not necessarily trying to knowingly decieve.

This simply isn't how astral projection works.

[Shin]

We could come up with an infinite number of explanations, but like @Tim R said, if we did that, it would just dumb down the experience itself.
Only you can know what it was, and you don't need to think about it to know that, you can just feel it (and you did) and it will be way more powerful than any explanation you could ever come up with

I'm sorry for your child, It must have been very difficult, but at the very least you know he's being taken care of and at best you know he's infinitely loved, which is amazing

If you just start here, and want to understand (one way or another you probably want to) how could what you experienced is possible (not the meaning of it), there is lots of Leo's videos that can explain that, here are just a few of them :

 

 

And if you want just some love and a cute blonde telling you how amazing you are while being very lovingly blunt about what's true, you can also check that channel  

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLsAMJ3K8EEvDCPLTGdc4eg

 

 

I wish you the best and welcome <3

Edited May 13, 2021 by Shin

[Seraphim]

45 minutes ago, kinesin said:

@Seraphim  The girl is simply looking at the objects through a tiny gap in the mask which opens up when she tilts her head - she even says so directly at a couple of points, for example at 7:20 when they say she's "seeing through the light spots in the mask" and 11:30 when she says "that one is a very small hole" and that she can see through it.

You misunderstood what she meant. Of course the mask doesn't have any holes, she is talking about the vision from her consciousness. But there is no point in debating this, either go visit one of these places where this is being done and see for yourself, or wait for the mainstream media to talk about it in like 30 years, or forget about it and focus on things that are important to you.

[Loving Radiance]

4 hours ago, SunAngel said:

Have anybody experienced something similar?

I had an experience during shamanic breathing where the love-sun radiated to me. I felt that I wanted to be that.

During a guided workshop (with magik elements) there was the feminine light loving me (also radiating to me). The body was shaking uncontrollably.

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Is my experience something that could be explained?

What does it mean to you? Does the meaning extend to you in the present? If so, how does it affect you?

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Can it be I was experiencing something on a higher level?

Of course. What then would it mean to you?

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Where should I seek further answers?

Depends on what questions you have and what you seek. Spirituality is very broad.

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In which form should I deepen my knowledge?

I'd suggest direct experience with a solid structure of theory to interpret your experiences.

 

@Seraphim Can you suggest resources for me to dive more deeply into this?

[SunAngel]

Thank you all for these warm and compassionate words and variety of answers, I am processing all of them. 
After having been introduced to new perspectives, the concept of spiral dynamics really spoke to me, especially the highest turquoise stage where I connected to my experience. 
Does anyone know if it is even possible for an individual to have experiences on this turquoise level without having actively and systematically worked on personal development for a long time??

[Nahm]

@SunAngel

The reference to turquoise is a reference to the model, with previous stages leading to turquoise within that model. In accordance with the model, no, other than, by the model. Imo, in the bigger picture, it’s a return home, not a going, an achieving, a learning of any kind, nor an accumulating. I would wager most ‘turquoise level people’ have not had a mystical experience like you described, yet have a broader understanding and frame of reference. 

[Snuitje]

@SunAngel Yes it is possible.

@Nahm You're saying it's not possible to have  turquoise experiences according to the model while on different stages, or are you talking about skipping stages? I thought OP meant to have turquoise experiences while on different stages, which is possible, because you're not skipping any stages then.

 

Edited May 13, 2021 by Snuitje

[Nahm]

@Snuitje

I don’t think it matters. It’s a very accurate and useful model, but experience isn’t even “experience”. It isn’t anything we label it. There is understanding and learning of the stages or colors, but no one is actually “in” one of them. The light is the same light, by any color or label, and yet remains a mystery. 

[Snuitje]

@Nahm  I think I understand, never thought of it that way, thanks.

@SunAngel Because you ended your post with Love and Light, I want to recommend the books Ra Material, Law of One. Ra also says Love and Light and explains these words. I would do some digging on the web first to see if it resonates with you (it is pretty crazy).

[Adamq8]

Sorry for your loss ❤

I had a experience once on LSD tho but I was looking out from my balcony and look towards the sun but after a while another sun spawned in the opposite direction of the original sun, and it gave light to the garden and so forth.

It was an cool experience and it just shows that the Mind is really really powerful.

 

[SunAngel]

@Nahm Thank you for you answers.
After listening again about the model of spiral dynamics, I realize that all my life I have had multiple "experiences" that might be called "mystical/spiritual", e.g. sensing "energy" around others, seeing different colours around people, many many times "knowing" when things will be cancelled (like meetings), at least 4 times I have met persons in my dreams that I knew when I woke up that they had passed over or would do so in next few days, and I feel physically ill and/or contamined around some people.
As this have been like this my whole life, so it was not anything "weird/special" for me going through life sensing different "energies" or what we should call it, and as I can't connect to any specific religion, just "knowing" there is something else after this Earth life, so I have never seeked or felt the need to "label" me Islam, Christian, Buddhist, Spiritual etc. - just haven't thought about this, just lived that my Journey here is just like this and nothing more to it (I mean, I haven't thought about any ideologies or something - just walked my path, enjoying it even if Life is sometimes real shit - in my mind, this is just how Life is).
Maybe this is why my experience being in a tunnel with my son in my arms striked me as little "unusual" and trying to understand if I had actually possibly been "allowed" to hand him over to a Light-Being, follow my son all the way, was so filled with serenity and humbleness, that I became actually "shy" to only the thought - I mean, I am just a small human being - is it possible I was "allowed" to see/sense so close to the "passing over" without having my own near-death experience...?
 

[SunAngel]

@Shin <3

[Nahm]

@SunAngel

Awesome, I can really relate. And yes, completely possible... even ‘the other side’, so to speak. 

You might get a lot from reiki books and classes btw.