I Don't Know How to Escape the Trap of Nihilism

[EnRoute]

Hi.

I've been studying myself for about three years now, through the means of my awareness.

I did it in all situations: at home, in public, at work, and so forth...

Nothing can trigger me anymore, not even my childhood trauma.

I understand that thoughts can stir up all sorts of negative and positive emotions. I also understand that emotions can highly influence my thoughts. I know how the mind works.

On the other hand, I don't know if I'm enlightened yet but even when I'm feeling 100% good, I don't find fascinating the point of existence or being. 

What's the point of existing? Existence. So? What's that fascinating about existence?

I struggle on a daily basis to see the beauty of reality and its marvelous design, but at the same time, a dark spell dwells on me and insists that everything I do in this life has no real meaning.

How did you guys make it beyond this stage?

[Lyubov]

I’ve come out of this before. I didn’t solve it with contemplation or thinking but letting go. Joy and a sense of well-being is just the natural state if you are able to let go. You don’t have to really do anything for it per say. It’s consciousness’ natural state and by extension the body’s as well. From there you return to the natural state of joy and b/c you feel good you create what is meaningful to you. For me that has been an increase in travel now that I’m vaccinated. Try to let go of trying to figure it all out or understand it or make it personal. Even let go of what comes after like some feeling of resistance to the present moment like it’s boring. The answer and well being you seek lies outside some logical understanding or trying to think your way to it. Subsequently I’ve found the answers to existence lie outside thinking and model making as well. 

[Megan Alecia]

It gets better.

Learn how to find value in the company of people (that includes YouTube.)

[Nahm]

10 hours ago, EnRoute said:

Hi.

I've been studying myself for about three years now, through the means of my awareness.

I did it in all situations: at home, in public, at work, and so forth...

Nothing can trigger me anymore, not even my childhood trauma.

I understand that thoughts can stir up all sorts of negative and positive emotions. I also understand that emotions can highly influence my thoughts. I know how the mind works.

On the other hand, I don't know if I'm enlightened yet but even when I'm feeling 100% good, I don't find fascinating the point of existence or being. 

What's the point of existing? Existence. So? What's that fascinating about existence?

Being a lens of focus of conditions, and an infinite being which becomes them, is pretty interesting, fun, carefree, and exciting. Like exploring everywhere without leaving home. 

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I struggle on a daily basis to see the beauty of reality and its marvelous design, but at the same time, a dark spell dwells on me and insists that everything I do in this life has no real meaning.

The meaninglessness is the beauty, just as love, peace, happiness, and creator creating creation needs no reasons. Beauty, like love, is not just a thought, opinion, or experience, but causeless true self, or nonlocal timeless true nature. “Everything I do in this life” is still applying meaning, but sort of pretending you aren’t. If the lens created it “this life has no real meaning”, one can not be truly surprised in experiencing this life has no real meaning. The creator is prior to meaning, the creator creates it, purposefully, or otherwise. 

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How did you guys make it beyond this stage?

A dreamboard, meditation, and the emotional scale. But I’d say ‘made it prior’ to meaning, creation, thought & understanding, not beyond. ‘Beyond’ has the essence of a knower knowing, which sucks the deepest fun out of experience / being, and traces back to thought attachment / separation.  (In this usage) A stage is either something you’re having the time of your life on, or something you’re mentally, presently, ‘stuck’ in. For there to be a trap to escape, is to believe one is in a trap to escape. It’s applying meaning, just not meaning which resonates with pure freedom.  

Nihilism is thought based. Sometimes there is the seeing through meaning experienced as a concern or a loss, because it’s thought based, and not direct experience. The mirage of concern is actually the love. Making a dreamboard is like retreats, etc... it’s all about the direct experience, yet less fleeting. 

If it’s helpful / useful with ‘where you’re at’, consider... levels of knowing can be said to be known, but not knowing has not the levels which were known. This imo was best captured and expressed by the most obviously woke person on the planet, Justin Bieber, who said, “my mamma don’t like you... and she likes everyone”. 

Know yourself as nothing, as not knowing without any thing to know. Yet feel yourself as true, truth, ‘real’ / eternal, being all that is. 

Most often nihilism is bypassing true and unique desires, for life, using existential concepts. The smallest, tiniest step in life, in the desired direction, however seemingly insignificant, is the game changer, and the beginning of an effortless Re contextualization of experience, and ‘what is’, or, ‘where you’re at’ life wise.