Anxiety, help?

[Tim R]

Hello friends. I'm kinda struggling with anxiety at the moment because I have a lot to do for university and I'm uncertain about finding a research subject for my degree within the time limit (there's a deadline ending in 2,5 weeks). I have all these scenarios in my head where I don't find a subject in time and then think that some horrible consequences will ensue, although in that scenario, I don't even know what exactly is supposed to happen, only "something really, really bad", or that I somehow f*ck up everything by not getting everything done... Just a few days ago I was also plagued by not being signed up for an exam that I had already taken and I thought that because of that, I'd have to stay one semester longer until I could take it again or some s*it like that.

I have a massive (like really) problem with procrastination and I kinda feel that it comes to bite me in the ass for real this time. 

So far, every anxiety I ever had in university did either 

- not came to life at all

- turned out to be not nearly as bad as I thought it would

As I'm writing these sentences, I kinda hear that they sound a bit ridiculous, but my monkey mind doesn't give a f*ck about that and tells me "if this doesn't work out, your're screwed for good", which.. really f's with me. Although my rational mind tells me that I'm not screwed, even if things shouldn't work out quite well.

When I'm calm, I seem to know how to "deal" with anxiety and I would say "oh don't worry, realize that it's just thought, etc.". But it doesn't work now...

 

You're not in my situation, say some sober things please

[ivankiss]

Worry is natural. Especially if what's ahead seems very significant to you.

How to deal with the feeling in your chest directly? - Shift your focus from your thoughts to your breathing. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 2 and exhale for 6. Focus on breathing 'through' the feeling in your chest. Repeat this until you feel relieved.

How to deal with the narrative in your mind? Tell the voice that's freaking out something along the lines of: 'Chill dude. You got this. And you know what? If not... You're gonna live anyways. You're gonna learn from your mistakes. It's all cool. It's all just life. 10 years from now - all of this will be funny as hell. Relax and give your best. You might just surprise yourself and realize how deeply you've been underestimating your capabilities.' Try making 'an agreement' with that part of you.

Take it if it resonates. Best of luck.

Edited May 11, 2021 by ivankiss

[Tim R]

@ivankiss Thank you, good Sir❤  that helped a bit

[ivankiss]

@Tim R ❤ 

Also; The Breath Of Fire

[something_else]

49 minutes ago, Tim R said:

only "something really, really bad", or that I somehow f*ck up everything by not getting everything done...

...

You're not in my situation, say some sober things please

Funnily enough, I was in a very similar situation recently. I just completed my 4th (final) year dissertation for my degree, and throughout the entire thing I felt almost exactly as you describe in the quote above. My topic was very open ended and there was a very real possibility that I was going to have little or no results up until the last month or so. The sense of impending doom, but not knowing exactly what kind of doom, is excruciating. Your mind assumes the absolute worst when it doesn't know what the worst that could happen is.

I don't have advice for you other than the obvious; it will be OK, you will get it done, the worst case scenario is not as bad as your imagination wants to think it is, nor as likely to happen as your imagination wants you to think it is. See @ivankiss comment!

But what I can tell you is that you are most certainly not alone in feeling this way about big university projects, it's essentially how you're meant to feel. I mentioned the particular kind of stress about my project I was experiencing to one of my friends who is also studying a similar topic, and what he said to me that was particularly cathartic was "all university students feel this way about their thesis".

Edited May 11, 2021 by something_else

[Tim R]

11 minutes ago, something_else said:

The sense of impending doom, but not knowing exactly what kind of doom, is excruciating. Your mind assumes the absolute worst when it doesn't know what the worst that could happen is.

Spot on, that's a perfect description.

12 minutes ago, something_else said:

it will be OK, you will get it done, the worst case scenario is not as bad as your imagination wants to think it is, nor as likely to happen as your imagination wants you to think it is.

@something_else Thank you. It sounds so reasonable, but now, when I need my ability to stay reasonable, everything just flies out the window and I succumb to fear... It's a relief to hear that I'm not alone. 

[Logan]

Meditation my friend

[Space]

@Tim R Just out of curiosity, do you have metal amalgams in your teeth?