Why Single Moms Love Beta Males

[Etherial Cat]

5 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I'm working on this but it is a multi year project. It is just frustrating to see that assholes that don't put in the effort get the ladies by putting zero effort and all the shenanigans you talk about. I know that girls say they want that kind of profile in a guy but they react to a totally different guy. I'm done with that shit.

What a woman will always react positively to is respect for oneself, inner strength (which will also ripple outwards), and a form of social intelligence. Assholes often tick that box, but in twisted way.

Try to find the balance. I am in no way telling you to be a doormat. Having boundaries is sexy. Try to be good in your own shoes, focus on your LP, your hobbies etc. When you see girls as fellow human beings and get also talent to befriend them you'll be able to normalize approaching women in general. I'm not saying that you should stop approaching women you've done so far, but you'll manage to do it probably more naturally if you manage to drop the whole "women are special creatures" filter.

Also, do not hesitate to think that a woman is not worth approaching if she's pedantic or playing out of reach.. or if she's into assholes.

[Harlen Kelly]

24 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I'm working on this but it is a multi year project. It is just frustrating to see that assholes that don't put in the effort get the ladies by putting zero effort and all the shenanigans you talk about. I know that girls say they want that kind of profile in a guy but they react to a totally different guy. I'm done with that shit.

What women say they are attracted to is a fantastical,  juvenile image of a generous man, but as you have observed but they are ACTUALLY attracted to is the exact opposite. 

Critical thinking skills and discernment must be applied to objectively determine what elicits attraction. No need to have animosity towards women for being attracted to a certain behavioral pattern, that will only lower the quality of your life. 

Simply observe what they are attracted to and consciously and responsibly embody those qualities. 

Edited May 11, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Etherial Cat]

12 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Etherial Cat His main issue is that he is too much of a nice guy, your advise will not help him. No need to turn into a full-blown douchebag, but understanding and internalizing some of those qualities might be necessary for him to elicit attraction. For you to have an ''intimate relationship'', you need to be attractive first. 

Yeah. I've been mostly reacting to the video in my first comment.

I've added this points as what makes a guy attractive energetically and avoid the "nice guy syndrome".

- Having it's own personality (free thinker, being grounded in his own interest, integrity)

- Inner ressources (which hopefully manifest outwards eventually, mental strength, ability to face up to life's challenges, self "confidence")

- Social intelligence (high EQ)

- Having boundaries

--

Basically, you've got the be self-possessed and actualize your skills. Have a good relationship with yourself, because you'll be treated by others the way you treat yourself, most of the time.

 

Edited May 11, 2021 by Etherial Cat

[Raptorsin7]

Dating a single mother seems like a raw deal. You will never be her top priority and you have to hope the children have excellent manners or you will have a mess on your hands that you can't even resolve.

The worst is when woman act like it's not big deal and it shouldn't affect their desirability.

@diamondpenguin What does it mean there are no alphas and beta etc?

There are clearly a small number of men who are desirable to a lot of women, and also a lot of socially awkward immature men and everything in between

[Lyubov]

4 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@diamondpenguin What does it mean there are no alphas and beta etc?

There are clearly a small number of men who are desirable to a lot of women, and also a lot of socially awkward immature men and everything in between

Are there? Doesn’t look that way to me when I’m walking around the street and see all sorts of couples. I mean sure there are guys that have higher sexual value and ones with lower but it looks more like a bell curve than how drastic incels online make it. Seems like the lower ones marry women on the low end kinda like how rich people tend to marry rich people and poor people tend to marry poor people. The whole alpha/beta thing is dumb though. It’s a social theory that was applied by some scientist to wolves and turned out to be totally off. Humans do not have set roles and are more so limited by their socioeconomic status/role, emotional health amongst other things. 

it’s all about raising your sexual value as a man if you want to raise your chances with women instead of having to settle. This is done through a lot of ways. This binary is too reductionist for me.

[Raptorsin7]

@Lyubov Let's flip it and think of woman. Do you agree there are a small number of woman who are incredibly attractive then the majority fall below that line to some degree. Who is going to end up with the small number of 9's and 10's walking around? What kind of men could attract them?

Obviously it's not binary and there's lots of grey but obviously there is a hierarchy to desirability and dating.

You can also think about it in business and success. How many man are capable of earning six figures or more? And how do you compare them to men who can't/don't earn that?

There are lesser men and better men, whether you want to call it alpha and beta is getting nitpicky and misses the underlying truth

 

[StarStruck]

50 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

What women say they are attracted to is a fantastical,  juvenile image of a generous man, but as you have observed but they are ACTUALLY attracted to is the exact opposite. 

Critical thinking skills and discernment must be applied to objectively determine what elicits attraction. No need to have animosity towards women for being attracted to a certain behavioral pattern, that will only lower the quality of your life. 

Simply observe what they are attracted to and consciously and responsibly embody those qualities. 

I'm so done with women. I'm only doing day game for a month or so and I discovered that I can't trust them for shit. They make promises. Say want to do this and that in my face and then just ghost me. Fuck them. Women are highly selfish and why shouldn't I be? It all evolves around whether the guy is confident and fun or not.

 

34 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Dating a single mother seems like a raw deal. You will never be her top priority and you have to hope the children have excellent manners or you will have a mess on your hands that you can't even resolve.

The worst is when woman act like it's not big deal and it shouldn't affect their desirability.

@diamondpenguin What does it mean there are no alphas and beta etc?

There are clearly a small number of men who are desirable to a lot of women, and also a lot of socially awkward immature men and everything in between

Fuck her. I won't raise her kids. I'm not even in that stage in my life. If she wants to have fun I'm open for that otherwise it is a no go.

[Lyubov]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Lyubov Let's flip it and think of woman. Do you agree there are a small number of woman who are incredibly attractive then the majority fall below that line to some degree. Who is going to end up with the small number of 9's and 10's walking around? What kind of men could attract them?

No, I don't agree. It depends where I am. I've been in some countries and cities where it seems like almost every woman I pass (in my age range, 20s) is quite attractive. I have pretty high beauty standards too. Some places I've been this is less so the case. 

Quote

Obviously it's not binary and there's lots of grey but obviously there is a hierarchy to desirability and dating.

You can also think about it in business and success. How many man are capable of earning six figures or more? And how do you compare them to men who can't/don't earn that?

I agree, like I said sexual value is a thing, but it's more comparable to collectables or antiques than gold/money. Some antiques are seen as ugly and obscure to some and are a really hard sell, then someone comes along and a buyer is found. Other antiques are in high demand across the board. 

I don't think money is comparable quantifier for this like I've said above. 

[Raptorsin7]

2 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

No, I don't agree. It depends where I am. I've been in some countries and cities where it seems like almost every woman I pass (in my age range, 20s) is quite attractive. I have pretty high beauty standards too. Some places I've been this is less so the case. 

Yeah this is a good point there are some places with a distinctively higher amount of attract woman. 

But when you consider soft factors outside of looks, like intelligence, class, consciousness then I think there will be a smaller number of woman that will stand out even amongst a group of attractive woman. 

Fundamentally you will end up with a limited number of exceptional woman, and there will be a similarly limited number of men capable of attracting them. 

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, Etherial Cat said:

What a woman will always react positively to is respect for oneself, inner strength (which will also ripple outwards), and a form of social intelligence. Assholes often tick that box, but in twisted way.

Try to find the balance. I am in no way telling you to be a doormat. Having boundaries is sexy. Try to be good in your own shoes, focus on your LP, your hobbies etc. When you see girls as fellow human beings and get also talent to befriend them you'll be able to normalize approaching women in general. I'm not saying that you should stop approaching women you've done so far, but you'll manage to do it probably more naturally if you manage to drop the whole "women are special creatures" filter.

Also, do not hesitate to think that a woman is not worth approaching if she's pedantic or playing out of reach.. or if she's into assholes.

Thanks for the advice. I don't think working on my LP will get me more game. I'm seeing guys with no LP having way more success because they are confident, fun and whatever.

I'm a dude that is highly polite and I have high EQ. What I'm missing is respect for oneself and innerstrength. I need to work on that. Finding a balance between being a fuckboy and being a doormat is hard. I will just make a 180 degree flip and just be the opposite from what I'm being right now.

This issue cuts into the very core of me. I'm in therapy right now and being nice, not crossing boundaries  and being liked by others is in the core of what I'm. I really need to go of that shit. Even if that means I'm overcompensating. I'm stuck in my old ways for way too long.

[Lyubov]

Just now, StarStruck said:

I'm so done with women. I'm only doing day game for a month or so and I discovered that I can't trust them for shit. They make promises. Say want to do this and that in my face and then just ghost me. Fuck them. Women are highly selfish and why shouldn't I be? It all evolves around whether the guy is confident and fun or not.

lol I can tell you're angry and just venting but you aren't done with women. If you were you wouldn't give a fuck and be writing this. I was reflecting on all my success and failures with women the other day and I realized that in the past I had way over invested in girls and was in an emotional place where flakes and stuff would destroy my mood. This was like a deep embodiment and realization that flakey/uninterested girls really isn't something that bothers me so much these days. You're doing day game which tbh is kinda overhyped and a waste of time imo. It really depends where you are located but there are plenty of hacks around and alternatives to day game which are way better and will lead to more attractive women imo.

[Harlen Kelly]

2 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I'm so done with women. I'm only doing day game for a month or so and I discovered that I can't trust them for shit. They make promises. Say want to do this and that in my face and then just ghost me. Fuck them. Women are highly selfish and why shouldn't I be? It all evolves around whether the guy is confident and fun or not.

 

Fuck her. I won't raise her kids. I'm not even in that stage in my life. If she wants to have fun I'm open for that otherwise it is a no go.

Welcome to the brutal reality of dating and relationship dynamics. Keep in mind that men and women are equally selfish when relating with each other. Be weary of not developing hate for women, that is very toxic and will only cause you suffering. 

Women care about two things primarily when the first meet you: Fun and Confidence. Not how good of a person, hardworking, generous you are. She might take that into consideration AFTER she is already attracted and is considering a relationship. 

She will respond to the guy that can stimulate her emotions the most. 

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Lyubov Which are those ''hacks''? Waiting around and expecting women to fall from the sky? You have to talk to women to attract women, whichever methodology you use is not really that important. At the end of the day, whether it is through social circle, cold approach, apps, you MUST talk to women to attract women. 

[StarStruck]

3 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Welcome to the brutal reality of dating and relationship dynamics. Keep in mind that men and women are equally selfish when relating with each other. Be weary of not developing hate for women, that is very toxic and will only cause you suffering. 

Women care about two things primarily when the first meet you: Fun and Confidence. Not how good of a person, hardworking, generous you are. She might take that into consideration AFTER she is already attracted and is considering a relationship. 

She will respond to the guy that can stimulate her emotions the most. 

 

Getting a fake number last weekend really destroyed my mood. Why can't she just say she is not interested? She gives me a fake number to just play with my feelings. Last month this happened more than once. Fuck that. I'm going to be selfish too.

[Harlen Kelly]

@StarStruck It's not a big deal dude, there are literally hundreds of millions of women. You can try to visualize your life from her point of view if you want to become more empathetic to her experience. What would you do if you were constantly getting approached by random dudes ALL the time? That's the reality of the average attractive woman.

Don't take it personally, don't form any personal beliefs about it, simply continue meeting more women.

[Raptorsin7]

@StarStruck You are the one imposing on her when you approach. If you are going out of your way to bother someone you can't be surprised if they don't act perfectly towards you.

I bet woman feel even worse than you when they are constantly approached by men they don't even value

[StarStruck]

20 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@StarStruck It's not a big deal dude, there are literally hundreds of millions of women. You can try to visualize your life from her point of view if you want to become more empathetic to her experience. What would you do if you were constantly getting approached by random dudes ALL the time? That's the reality of the average attractive woman.

Don't take it personally, don't form any personal beliefs about it, simply continue meeting more women.

 

18 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@StarStruck You are the one imposing on her when you approach. If you are going out of your way to bother someone you can't be surprised if they don't act perfectly towards you.

I bet woman feel even worse than you when they are constantly approached by men they don't even value

If she just used the magic words "I'm not interested" I would left her alone. She talked to me for 10 minutes just because she liked the attention, asking questions, flirting, giving me the impression she liked me. Fuck that.

Edited May 11, 2021 by StarStruck

[Etherial Cat]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

Thanks for the advice. I don't think working on my LP will get me more game. I'm seeing guys with no LP having way more success because they are confident, fun and whatever.

I'm a dude that is highly polite and I have high EQ. What I'm missing is respect for oneself and innerstrength. I need to work on that. Finding a balance between being a fuckboy and being a doormat is hard. I will just make a 180 degree flip and just be the opposite from what I'm being right now.

This issue cuts into the very core of me. I'm in therapy right now and being nice, not crossing boundaries  and being liked by others is in the core of what I'm. I really need to go of that shit. Even if that means I'm overcompensating. I'm stuck in my old ways for way too long.

But it does. The thing is, working on you LP will give you a primary source of focus and joy, which will give to the importance you give to girl it's right place in your life- something somewhat secondary.

Your energy would be directed towards loving your life. That will give you the detachment needed in order to have the right posture towards relationships and girls in general.

Your respect for yourself will be found by connecting with who you are on a deeper level.

Also, i don't think you need to do a 180 flip, a lot of the way you are is okay for sure. It is all a question of finding your balance.

And by the way, respecting people's boundaries and being nice is important. The only time you should give up on those principle is when someone is shitting on yours.

--

May I ask how old you are approx?

[StarStruck]

@Etherial Cat I'm around 30 but I look younger

[Etherial Cat]

5 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@Etherial Cat I'm around 30 but I look younger

Hmm. Okay. 

How was your dating situation in the last 10 years? Any relationships?

Cmon, you must not be that bad. If you're on this forum, it means that you're pretty interesting. Keep figuring out what works for you. Just take better ressources than this video.  !