Pickup Express

[StarStruck]

This my second date with the blonde girl. The date was the best. The aftermath and my failure to kiss her ruined it for me. 

My mistakes 

• Believing I didn't deserve her. She was so beautiful and sexy. 
• Not being calm, abundance, carefree, grounded, masculine and confident: mindset 
• Not knowing how to engage a kiss in that situation: know how
• Listen to female advice on dating as a male
• Not having fixed my LP and my addictions and trying to find happiness and value off of her
• Having close to zero dating experience

Edited June 10, 2021 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

7 hours ago, StarStruck said:

This my second date with the blonde girl. The date was the best. The aftermath and my failure to kiss her ruined it for me. 

My mistakes 

• Believing I didn't deserve her. She was so beautiful and sexy. 
• Not being calm, abundance, carefree, grounded, masculine and confident: mindset 
• Not knowing how to engage a kiss in that situation: know how
• Listen to female advice on dating as a male
• Not having fixed my LP and my addictions and trying to find happiness and value off of her
• Having close to zero dating experience

Doing pickup or dating is not possible without opening the heart. The thing is that life becomes more yoyful but from my experience life is painful.

I had a wonderful date yesterday but I didn't kiss her. She made herself so beautiful. I disappointed her so much. And I disappointed myself.

I'm in so much hurt and pain right now. I know I should focus on myself, on my own growth and my LP. But this is life. I really have two options

1. Live life like a weasel that is afraid
2. Live life like a tiger

And the end of both scenario's is death.

Only thing I can do is enjoy the fucking ride. Well that is what I learned from her! What did I learn more from her?

• She feels what I feel, so I should feel carefree, joyful and pleasant
• She was a really good story teller, her stories are about nothing but I do enjoy them
• If she rejects me that will give me ammunition to go apeshit at my life problems. I'm really fed up with my problems!
• I'm done with being a nice guy, being reserved, or holding myself in. It is either EXPRESS or REPRESS. So if you are a nice guy , try nicing so hard that you reach fulll expression of your personality. That is how one grows, by not hiding.

This moring I was going in full depression mode because of REPRESSION. I really need to go of things or express them so I become aware of my behavior and feelings and let that go.

I'm sad but I'm alive. Part of me wants to die. I don't want to life. I want to go back to my cave. This ordeal reminds me of the book "Fear of Life" by Alexander Lowen.

And guess what? Parts of me are dying. That nice guy is dying!

 

[StarStruck]

It is not really about what you get from the table but what you take to the table and share with others on an energetic level. 

Having confidence is a giving and taking energy in balance. 

I'm really a leaf in the wind in terms of energy. I get influenced so easily. I'm perfect material for manipulation. 

Solution: Developing stronger ego boundaries 

[MatteO22]

3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

It is not really about what you get from the table but what you take to the table and share with others on an energetic level. 

Having confidence is a giving and taking energy in balance. 

I'm really a leaf in the wind in terms of energy. I get influenced so easily. I'm perfect material for manipulation. 

Solution: Developing stronger ego boundaries 

Beutiful! Way to go!  

[StarStruck]

My insights after talking with a natural pickup guy who can barely talk the local language and he is slaying it, he literally has a harem.

Insights:

Girls really like to be lied too. 

If you autistic and don't understand female's emotional system forget about it. You will be walking through a mine field. 

Deception is at the heart of pickup. Deception is needed to not trigger a mine. 

Pickup is not really the transfer of words, facts or whatever. It is the transfer of emotions. It is important to be plugged in into the social matrix so your ego can become part of something bigger called a relationship. 

Basically words and emotions is both energy. But words are more defined energy. And emotions are lesser defined energy. Pickup is done with lesser defined energy and it is subtle by nature. Girls love subtility. 

Girls love guys who love themselves. Narcissistic people. They don't need morals. The narcissistic person can manipulate himself into a girl's pants. 

My observations say that girls love to sleep around with liars who tell them sweet little lies or just know how to titillate her emotional buttons. 

Edited June 10, 2021 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

Major insight: deception is soooo key in social dynamics. 

You have to know the social matrix. And you have to know how to hack the social matrix. 

If you are knucklehead who has unflexible principles and just steam roll over people's emotions, you will become an incel. 

Another insight about incels: it is not the incells have lower morals than a fuckboy. The incell is just incapable of manipulation of the social matrix because he is not engaged in the outer world, but rather the inner world. 

Edited June 10, 2021 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

I'm just mindblown. 

It is just really about the emotional interaction. To interact with others you have to know your own energy system. 

Mind, body, and right positive energy (600+ on consciousness level) have to be on one line. 

Consciousness level is influenced by interactions with other humans. My consciousness level is usually around shame. I should do mindfulness during interactions and let go of emotions to transcend them. 

[StarStruck]

On 14/05/2021 at 2:01 PM, StarStruck said:

Building upon yesterday:

In popular culture they talk about "pick me guys/girls". These are people who want to be picked. I definitely carry this energy. I think it has to do with my center of power. My history has conditioned me to give away my power to others. It is very counter intuitive to keep my power within myself so it can become - personalized - power.

I have been doing some grounding exercises while being in interactions. I'm trying to be mindful of where my awareness is: is my awareness within my own body or is my awareness focused on the other person? The regulator of this awareness is fear. The more fearful I'm the more concentrated I'm on the outside world (scanning for dangers); the less fearful I'm the more concentrated on myself (my body).

The regulation of this awareness is a balancing act. Sometimes I'm to grounded in myself and not aware of the surrounding. It can come off as uncalibrated but I don't care. I'm experimenting. What I noticed is that when I put my awareness on my body and just follow my instincts - without interference of the higher brain functions - I notice that I become more animal like. I didn't have the chance to experiment with this enough but women love this masculine raw energy.

Eventually I will have to channel this raw energy into something refined, but fuck that, I think I'm going to experiment with this newfound raw masculine energy. It somewhat feels like being an animal. It is very strange because I'm a dude that is mostly in my head. Just giving no fuck and following these instincts and impulses results in a massive expansion in behavior and ego-boundaries. I'm making mistakes but I'm seeing these mistakes as reference experiences. At this stage of my development I'm giving priority to quantity over quality. Stacking upon reference experiences will give my auto-pilot more data and it will mean it will be more accurate in the future.

Actually that is my current ordeal: being able to trust my (masculine) instincts and impulses and acting upon it.

Related to this:

It is so important to be grounded and integrate non-integrated parts.

Now I'm dating, somebody liking me and not ghosting me, feels so not familiar. 

I need to read these books

• Attachment style books
• Magnetic personality book 

[StarStruck]

On 10-6-2021 at 10:23 AM, StarStruck said:

This my second date with the blonde girl. The date was the best. The aftermath and my failure to kiss her ruined it for me. 

My mistakes 

• Believing I didn't deserve her. She was so beautiful and sexy. 
• Not being calm, abundance, carefree, grounded, masculine and confident: mindset 
• Not knowing how to engage a kiss in that situation: know how
• Listen to female advice on dating as a male
• Not having fixed my LP and my addictions and trying to find happiness and value off of her
• Having close to zero dating experience

So there was a database error and the forum lost content of the last 2 days. I don't remember what I wrote but I will try to remember it.

I really like this episode. It fits with my struggles with the recent girl I'm dating. Carol Dweck's book called Mindsets is a great addition to the advice Leo is giving. Reframing success, failure and focusing on experience rather than results is key.

She accepted the third date

The whole drama I created after me not kissing her on the second date was not needed. Her schedule became clear and she said she would like to do something on friday. I'm still not sure what I want to do with her. Probably pick her up with my car and give her a red rose. Drive her to get an ice cream and take a walk and then take her to my home to cook. She says she is a great cook. We could make something together.

My flirtation with the dentist assistant

Yesterday I went to the dentist. The assistant who took me from the waiting room and did the cleaning of my death was very nervous. I really couldn't understand why. I thought she probably liked me so I did some subtle gaming. I threw out some topics we could talk about and that gave me the chance to flirt with her a little. She calmed down and started flirting back. She asked me why I smoked (last week I had couple of smokes because of a friend). I told her that I was an easy target for manipulation. She said "if that is so can I manipulate you to stop smoking?" I told her "if you become my gf I will". This was not very subtle and she liked it but I kind of regretted. I was kind of ashamed that I played open card. My rule is not to be so explicit with gaming girls that I see often. I will see her every time I go to the dentist and she will know I hit on her.

Making plans

I really need to make a grand strategy. I'm too tired to think about it. I promised myself I would make a plan today and use Todd's System as a model to plan out individual sections of game that I want to improve and how I want to integrate it. I will think about how I want to do it.

[StarStruck]

So Friday I have a third date with that hot girl. I'm looking forward to it but I'm also nervous but less nervous than last week. I notice that I'm planning everything ahead. I want it to go well because it is so rare for me but at the same time I should ease a little bit. I do have sympathy for myself.

I did one approach today

Polish girl in gym

I have a weak spot for Polish girls. They are just rawwrrr. My testosterone just started boiling when I saw her. I didn't want to approach but I tricked myself in doing it. I had to use her machine so I asked when she would be finished and she was very nice so I decided to proceed talking.

One thing let to another and we started talking about general gym stuff, what she is doing in life, what I'm doing in life, and then there was some flirtation. I started looking naughty at her (something I learned from my pickup friend) she started looking back naughty. I really should built upon this feeling but in some way I lost this sexual tension. I can't recall how I broke the sexual tension but it was a mistake. She looked at me like she was DTF right there.

I can't recall everything but I lost the emotional connection some way and she said she had to go back to her machine. I was late with pulling her in I thought it is now or never and I pulled the trigger. I asked her if she wanted to train together some time or drink some wine. She said no. I made some jokes about her being non-binary and if she was afraid of my moustache. She really liked the jokes but I could see she wasn't won over. I really didn't want to push so I told her she should think about it. Her answer "if I see you next time".   What kind of answer is that? Was she just being nice? Did I didn't push enough or what?  I thought she was not open to give her number but "if I see you next time" is kind of a mixed signal. If I see her next time, and ask her for a date she could mean yes or no based on that answer. Can somebody give his take on this approach?

All in all I was happy with this approach, I gained new confidence and I noticed I can cross transfer reference experience from that blonde girl to other sets and build that same connection with other girls. This was a fun little approach. Currently, I'm focused on Friday.

Edit: some of my own observations and lessons I gained from this approach

• This was a high quality girl. She is doing PhD, she is 22 and fruity and smoking hot. She has all the options of the world. Why would she chose me? I'm just a dude who is doing a bachelor, yes I'm somewhat fun, but I'm just a dude with a dick in her eyes. I needed to PERSONalize my approach much more. Give more details about myself. Show more of my PERSONality.
• Girls love emotions. This is what I learnt from my pickup friend. He is shit at talking and dumb as dirt but he is good at emotions. I did what he did. I dropped thinking and just feeling and surf on those feelings. The words/concepts spoken out loud are just cherry on top of the cake so to say
• Holding frame is key. Girls are very sensitive to this. This is a litmus test for them to see how much man you are. When I got the sexual hook, I should have capitalized on that.
• Flirting is just a tool. A tool to disarm her.
• Being a man is the foundation in every man to women.
• During night game girls won't fuck you because you are hot. Perhaps at night game. During the night it is all about the emotional interaction.
• I need to find a way to break through last minute resistance. I always fail at that. On one hand they are attracted and want to give me their number and at the other hand they don't want to give their number. I can see their inner struggle.

Near death experience because of pickup

On my way back home, I was waiting at the light eyeballing a girl across the street. I was so focused on her that I didn't even look left of me. I didn't intend to cross the street but just wait until the lights were green but if I had decided to cross the street I would be death. A bus drove from the other side of the road and I was totally unaware of buses passing from the other side of the road. Perhaps I'm just imagining this scenario and perhaps I would have looked both side of the roads when crossing but I still got shocked by it. What happened right there was a microcosm of my inner world: I'm too focused on girls at the expense of other things... even my own very life.

I wished death. I almost got it.

Edited June 16, 2021 by StarStruck

[AtheisticNonduality]

18 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

So Friday I have a third date with that hot girl. I'm looking forward to it but I'm also nervous but less nervous than last week. I notice that I'm planning everything ahead. I want it to go well because it is so rare for me but at the same time I should ease a little bit. I do have sympathy for myself.

I did one approach today

Polish girl in gym

I have a weak spot for Polish girls. They are just rawwrrr. My testosterone just started boiling when I saw her. I didn't want to approach but I tricked myself in doing it. I had to use her machine so I asked when she would be finished and she was very nice so I decided to proceed talking.

One thing let to another and we started talking about general gym stuff, what she is doing in life, what I'm doing in life, and then there was some flirtation. I started looking naughty at her (something I learned from my pickup friend) she started looking back naughty. I really should built upon this feeling but in some way I lost this sexual tension. I can't recall how I broke the sexual tension but it was a mistake. She looked at me like she was DTF right there.

I can't recall everything but I lost the emotional connection some way and she said she had to go back to her machine. I was late with pulling her in I thought it is now or never and I pulled the trigger. I asked her if she wanted to train together some time or drink some wine. She said no. I made some jokes about her being non-binary and if she was afraid of my moustache. She really liked the jokes but I could see she wasn't won over. I really didn't want to push so I told her she should think about it. Her answer "if I see you next time".   What kind of answer is that? Was she just being nice? Did I didn't push enough or what?  I thought she was not open to give her number but "if I see you next time" is kind of a mixed signal. If I see her next time, and ask her for a date she could mean yes or no based on that answer. Can somebody give his take on this approach?

All in all I was happy with this approach, I gained new confidence and I noticed I can cross transfer reference experience from that blonde girl to other sets and build that same connection with other girls. This was a fun little approach. Currently, I'm focused on Friday.

Near death experience because of pickup

On my way back home, I was waiting at the light eyeballing a girl across the street. I was so focused on her that I didn't even look left of me. I didn't intend to cross the street but just wait until the lights were green but if I had decided to cross the street I would be death. A bus drove from the other side of the road and I was totally unaware of buses passing from the other side of the road. Perhaps I'm just imagining this scenario and perhaps I would have looked both side of the roads when crossing but I still got shocked by it. What happened right there was a microcosm of my inner world: I'm too focused on girls at the expense of other things... even my own very life.

I wished death. I almost got it.

That's cool.

[Striving for more]

On 31/05/2021 at 7:52 AM, StarStruck said:

I came across this video

The guy gives horrible advice to this 25 year old virgin. It is interesting to watch noobies. There are a lot of lessons in here:

• Notice how the guy is doing, doing, doing, pushing, pushing, pushing. He doesn't give the opportunity to the lady to invest back in the conversation. This goes back to doing versus being. Something I talked about in my journal so I won't repeat it. 
• This guy needs to meditate. He is way in his head. The guy who is trying to help him gives him surface level advice about what he should say. He doesn't understand the guy's problem. If they did some pranayamas together and told him to let fucking go, have outcome independence, just enjoy and just chill the fuck out, he would perform much better
• Notice how girls are either weirded out. Being weird about talking to a girl is as weird as being weird about giving people handshakes. Some girls are being nice but that is out of kindness. There is no emotional connection being developed. 
• The guy is shut off from his body. He is in his head. If he was in touch with his body and felt emotions, the girl would feel safe and feel emotions too and and emotional connection would start to develop. Again: girls love a guy who can express emotions, this is one of the most important lessons I learned. Just talk about your emotions. Talk about how awful the coffee was you had this morning by sharing your emotional experience. It is really that simple but the need guys are way too much in their heads. 
• This dude needs to be more in touch with his emotions and just say what he wants. Letting go of control and just having trust in the process. I do get why he doesn't have these things. He explains it in the beginning of the video. 

 

If I were to coach this guy I would fix his problems in this order:

1. Developing trust in himself, abundance mindset 
2. Letting become aware of his emotions and letting go of these emotions so he can fucking relax
3. Letting go of control aka have outcome independence 

 

@StarStruck Do you think meditation sped up your progress in becoming confident?

I did an approach today, she was friendly & wanted the attention, showing  interest, but I was stuck with this shakiness in my body & I couldn't think of much to say. 

It's like the conversation deserved to be really uplifting & flirtatious but I just don't know how to pull it off in the moment, my body just ruins it for me & I only have time to aproach 1-3 times a day right now. 

 

 

Edited June 16, 2021 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

32 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I started looking naughty at her (something I learned from my pickup friend) she started looking back naughty. 

@StarStruck Bro I beg you elaborate on this means !! 

(tbf probably hard to explain without showing but is there a name for the technique I can look up?)

I feel like if I rush in to it as newbie I might come off as a creep though 

Edited June 16, 2021 by Striving for more

[Roy]

Just now, Striving for more said:

I know I can be funny, charismatic & interesting but it's like that part of me is all hidden in the trash. 

I don't have time to mass approach yet I want to shortcut the negative emotions tho. 

Sometimes those negative emotions/thoughts are just there, don't worry so much about "getting rid of them" all the time.

As if you aren't aloud to try being funny, charismatic, or interesting just because you don't feel 100%? Why would you think that ?

[Striving for more]

2 minutes ago, Roy said:

Sometimes those negative emotions/thoughts are just there, don't worry so much about "getting rid of them" all the time.

As if you aren't aloud to try being funny, charismatic, or interesting just because you don't feel 100%? Why would you think that ?

@Roy Thanks buddy. 

The problem is it's like a feedback loop > I start feeling shaky > she sees this & I see her see me shake, then I am lost for words for 5 seconds. Then from that point it feels impossible for me to recover energetically or conversationally.

[Roy]

Just now, Striving for more said:

The problem is it's like a feedback loop > I start feeling shaky > she sees this & I see her see me shake, then I am lost for words for 5 seconds. Then from that point it feels impossible for me to recover energetically or conversationally.

I get that same problem occasionally. I don't just want to make any joke, but the "best" one. Causing me to overthink and the moment to pass by.

Meditation and mindfulness certainly helps like you mentioned. Knowing it's a feedback loop makes you aware of it, so now you can interject and break it! Don't think about it in the frame of "recovering" because that feeds the idea you've lost (which is ok if it does happen sometimes = experience).

Frame it that you are gaining control. Something as simple as taking a deep breathe (silently through the mouth works for me), can eliminate that shakiness pretty fast. You are using a physical solution to solve a physical problem. Instead of trying to "think" your way out of shakiness.

If you don't seize an opportunity here or there, remember the logical reality that there are going to be literally THOUSANDS more encounters in your life. All good 

[StarStruck]

10 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

@StarStruck Do you think meditation sped up your progress in becoming confident?

I did an approach today, she was friendly & wanted the attention, showing  interest, but I was stuck with this shakiness in my body & I couldn't think of much to say. 

It's like the conversation deserved to be really uplifting & flirtatious but I just don't know how to pull it off in the moment, my body just ruins it for me & I only have time to aproach 1-3 times a day right now. 

 

 

Meditation is key to calm your psyche. Remember the trigger of becoming shaky in your body and do pranayama's to release.

Did you get her number or did you pull her?

8 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

@StarStruck Bro I beg you elaborate on this means !! 

(tbf probably hard to explain without showing but is there a name for the technique I can look up?)

I feel like if I rush in to it as newbie I might come off as a creep though 

My pickup friend showed me how he looked. It can't be explained really. It is on an energetic level. It is not how you look, it is how you are. It can't be faked.

It is a look that says:

• I have options
• I fucked countless girls
• But at the same time it shows her that she is special
• It is warmness but also some hardness
• It is disarming and calibrated
• It is fun/passionate but also some animalness in it

 

[Striving for more]

14 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Meditation is key to calm your psyche. Remember the trigger of becoming shaky in your body and do pranayama's to release.

Did you get her number or did you pull her?

She gave me her Instagram name because of she "left her phone at home". won't even bother. 

I feel that I convey the opposite look, desperation, no options, I wish there was a way I could hypnotise myself into thinking I have options - in order to convey a better look, shortcut the process. 

 

Dude you've clearly come so far. I've only really skimmed through this but I'm going to read it start to finish because it's inspiring. 

(I'm the only British guy who likes using American language, lol).

 

Edited June 16, 2021 by Striving for more

[StarStruck]

@Striving for more Thanks, that is one of the reasons why I'm doing it. If you sub, you will get notifications.

All I can say to you is that you should trust the process and keep making steps.

[Striving for more]

On 15/05/2021 at 1:07 PM, StarStruck said:

Good video that connects to what I said above about wielding grounded power and not giving your power away:

 

But isn't this guy just saying that you have to be good looking. Isn't this video just telling average & below people to quit?

How this video helpful? He's basically saying bad boys are just good looking & I don't think that makes sense, there's plenty of good looking "nice guys" or shy guys