Pickup Express

[StarStruck]

7 hours ago, Ulax said:

Hmmm interesting. I rate the determination btw.

Have you tried mantra meditation? Have you tried Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)?

Yes, I'm doing IFS and very recently I started using matras during meditation

[Ulax]

@StarStruck Sick. Nice one dude. Wishing you well.

[Ulax]

@StarStruck What level is your therapist btw?

[StarStruck]

I had a date last weekend. She was a little older than me which is unusual because I love younger girls. It was a great experience and I learned a lot from that reference experience. She has a great heart. Perhaps I should give her a chance.

My recent discoveries is that my traumatic past has a huge influence on me. Something that I can't change over night according to my therapist. It is not weird that a lot of girls don't like me or that they disappear after the first couple of dates. I'm a wounded person. I'm heavy on the heart. Younger girls like light hearted guys, that is just the facts that I have to deal with.

On 17-3-2022 at 4:16 PM, Ulax said:

@StarStruck What level is your therapist btw?

Level? What do you mean? He is a psycho therapist.

[Ulax]

8 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Level? What do you mean? He is a psycho therapist.

The IFS institute are the main IFS therapist/ practioner trainers. They have three levels of training. The most trained being level 3, and least trained being level 1.

[StarStruck]

So I had a date, the first in a long time (like 5 months):

I just realized have much I have grown. Last year around this time it would have been unimaginable going to dates like this, especially with a girl like this. It is really about grabbing life by the balls. I'm still very hesitant about grabbing life by the balls but there is definitely improvement. There are years of bad conditioning so it is not weird that things need time.

A major sticking point is my vibe, I'm still not chill/tranquillo like I should, but compared to last year, there is a major positive shift in my vibe. I know it is bad to compare myself to others so I'm not trying to do that but I can't help myself.

So my main focus will be to fix my vibe, which won't only help my dating life, but help my life in general and prop up my quality of life. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this but I will be doing a lot of meditation, mantras and release work.

Apart from that I have noticed that I've started to simp on this girl which is not good. Before the date she responded to my text every 30-60 minutes and now she does every 3-6 hours, which annoys me and makes me overthink things. This is an example of my problematic ego and I will apply release work on it.

On 24-3-2022 at 8:43 PM, Ulax said:

The IFS institute are the main IFS therapist/ practioner trainers. They have three levels of training. The most trained being level 3, and least trained being level 1.

He is not IFS licensed, unfortunately.

[StarStruck]

I’m getting into MBT treatment. 
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mentalization-based_treatment

[StarStruck]

I might friendzone this older lady I'm dating. She is older than me and I fall for young girls. Also I don't want to  ruin my friendship with her. We can connect very deeply. I'm just afraid we will have sex and I will get bored very quickly and it will ruin things. She is also very jealous and constantly looks at me if/when I look at other females which I do.

The thing is that I'm just too weak to say it to her which is my problem in life: being weak and being indecisive. Soon I will have to be decisive and I will have to force myself to do it because now I'm procrastinating doing it and the more I wait, the harder it will become to friendzone her. She is already getting touchy and trying to invite me to her place and shit.

I'm not into sex anyway. I'm doing sexual transmutation which is a Buddhist practice to transform sexual energy into creative energy.

Edited April 2, 2022 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

Some major shifts in my perception about dating: 

Thanks to the work of Robert Moore I learned that real shifts in perceptions come through crises. One should actively look to create a crises in one’s life to initiate transformation. 

This is what I discovered about people and women. In summary I learned I shouldn’t put them on a pedestal. I did for a very long time and I knew I shouldn’t but now it just clicks. Lessons:

• I overvalued physical beauty. I was a servant of obscurity/devil. The tragicomic thing is when you don’t value the thing you will get it thrown on your lap 
• A woman is not your mother. She doesn’t love you for you. She loves you for what you mean to her.
• don’t take advice from a woman on how to be a man
• if you want to fuck around with girls, position yourself rightly. Physical, emotional, mental weakness is punished. Strength is rewarded.
• It is really true that in your figuratively speaking darkest hour, you will find salvation. So don’t postpone the darkest hour. 
• The answer is within but you need to seek it outside yourself to come to the conclusion that is not outside of yourself: you already have everything you need 
• Change in perception is the deepest teachings

[StarStruck]

Going on a cinema date this Saturday. It is the older lady (36 years old) that I talked about previously. I feel I can learn a lot from her. It kind of resembles the main character of this movie: guy falls for an older woman and she shows her what love is:

From doing pickup I noticed these things 

• it is just disturbing how ignorant people are of basic psychology within the pickup community. 
• Men suppose to be good with women naturally. If you aren’t that means you are broken in some way. The way is to heal yourself but the problem is that pickup gurus don’t know shit about psychology so how can they help these broken people? They could do a far better job if knew about psychology which unfortunately they don’t. There is a lack of integration between the pickup theory and trauma psychology. 
• The same counts for people who are doing enlightenment work. Most people don’t know shit about psychology.  Know at least the basics from Jung and Freud… and especially know about the archetypes. Just such foolishness even on this forum and this forum suppose to be high ranking on the spiral dynamics mode? LoL, how are you going to dismantle your mind and unlock your mind if you haven’t read about the foundation of psychology? There are no books about it on Leo’s book list which tells a lot. 
• and most shocking is my discovery that most therapists don’t understand psychology. They just scrape by and do what is enough to earn a living. They barely know anything about Freud and Jung. 
• We live in an insane society and everybody is just playing along. 

 

Edited April 14, 2022 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

Nice scene from LOTR is a great analogy for shadow work

 

Wormtongue (trickster) = shadow ego (unconsciousness)

Theoden (the king)  = ego that is stuck and trapped by the trickster

White (Enlightened!) Gandalf = outsider/guru/conscious psychologist

Edited April 14, 2022 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

How dumber you are how better it is…

And I have noticed that how hotter the girl how dumber the guy is she is attracted to. 

Pickup is also about observation really. Observe other successful guys. Especially observe people who embody your alter ego (the opposite that you identify with). So I’m a guy with a broom up his ass and I found a guy who is exactly the opposite of what I’m; he is dumb but fun, not negative but positive about everything, does put people down but with a wink, and is just a nuisance and a narcist. It is unbelievable but girls just eat that shit up. It was infuriating and eye opening. It is what it is. My core beliefs about dating just crumbled even more than it did. 

Edited April 15, 2022 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

Good topic on how to escalate for the kiss:

Leading is mostly done nonverbal:

Last weekend I had a cinema date:

It is the same girl I mentioned earlier. The roles were reversed, she was chasing me, trying to get validation, and at the end she tried to pull me home. I said no and it gave me a huge ego boost. She was also a little pushy and not confident about herself: it was interesting to observe that and to see what kind of effect that had on me. It was a buzz kill. Now I understand why girls don't like guys who are not confident, who are pushy and not know how to lead.

One really has to experience it first had to understand it. Now I understand girls much better and why they don't like certain types of guys:  it is not only the dish but how it is represented. Pickup is basically about representation. Imagine how important that is: good restaurants understand this.

It reminded me of saltbae... Basically be this guy who is confident, funny, teasing, who doesn't take himself too serious, and knows how to keep attention and lead:

Notice how he cuts the meat, like how he is making love to it finding the balance between lust and love. Similarly in PUA situation, in conversation you can subtly make love to her in conversation. It is 80% about the subcommunication (vibe and personality), and 20% about the explicit verbal communication.

Edited April 25, 2022 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

I finally friendzoned that woman. It was very hard to do but eventually I had to drop the truth. I hoped we could evolve in a friendship but she was obviously hurt. I'm so sad because I really enjoyed her company and the fact she was chasing me. She told me she is not going to chase anymore.

Thanks to her, I've learned a lot about myself:

1. I have to work on my false fight/flight activation and learn to chillax. Relaxation, being yourself =/= tension, being a try-hard, being weird and rigid
2. I have to really have to work on my self-image/self-esteem/ego (this is major task!)
3. My game really sucks but game is really icing on the top, the first two points are big sticking points.

I've also noticed that time flies. It is just sooo frighting how quick time goes. Setting a goal is good, but having subgoals with timelines and deadlines is as crucial. What is the point being great in game, if you become old? Skill is an important variable, experience is major contributing variable and the most important variable is TIME. That is the only thing you really have, the most previous and nobody knows how much you have of it. So savor it.

I have reached my 1 year anniversary of this thread and my pickup journey that I started last year. Soon I will dedicate a piece on it in this thread.

Edited May 7, 2022 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

I talked to a very hot blond girl in the gym. A text book natural game pickup. I was surprised by myself. Letting go in game is such a huge aspect. Perhaps it is the biggest component.

Only problem I encountered was at the end. I have some resistance towards success and getting the number is always a formality. She could definitely feel the awkwardness at the end while the whole ordeal was only good vibes. I was funny, lose, expressive and all in all was ok.

Currently I'm just focusing on letting go during interactions. All the other pickup routines, tricks and theory are just theory on top of this basic skill. All the other will fall in place once you master letting go properly anyway.

It is sad that this fact is not emphasised enough in pickup theory!

[StarStruck]

The attitude "ME ME ME ME AND ME" is a clear sign of victim mentality. I've developed my consciousness that I can instantly sniff it. It is consciousness below LOC 200 and problematic in so many ways. To be good in socializing one has to move from egocentric to sociocentric.

[StarStruck]

There are two ways of development in this work in my opinion

1. Being authentic is like being naked. (This is the core principle: letting go)
2. Being gamey (pickup style) is like having a nice mask on. (Principle of social calibration)

Both is important and self-development should be geared towards the individuals complexes and deficiencies. 

For a lot of people though they lack the authentic vibe. What really helps is this. 

1. For one week just be totally authentic; no cap; no questions asked. Just push as much as you can to be authentic 
2. Next week; have the social calibration mask on and push yourself to the limit to socially calibrate in situations
3. repeat; start from 1

It is really difficult to train both being authentic and being gamey. It is a much better strategy to isolate them and train them in isolation… and go for the extreme. In the extreme is where you learn. And what is extreme is subjective to you!

Edited May 10, 2022 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

On hot girls like 9/10's:

• More push
• Less pull

Such a key point!

[StarStruck]

 Yesterday I was taking a dance class. This girl with whom I danced one time just left her own partner out of nowhere and started standing besides me and started smiling to me. 

This was so socially uncalibrated and abrupt that the dance coach and me just stood there flabbergasted. I bursted out in laughing because I was charmed but also I didn’t know what to do or what to say because everybody was looking for my reaction.

Omg, when becoming more alpha one gets shit tested.  Not by girls but by whole groups of people. And I’m not ready for it.

Also girls with boyfriends started giving me eye fucks. It is so weird because I have respect for their boyfriends and don’t look at them while they don’t give a fuck about their boyfriends and eye fucking me.

Perviously I didn’t get this mucha attention. This change in my vibe happened after a break up and letting go of seeking validation of girls. Major point for letting go is this; letting go is not a conception but an experience!!!! so a lot of things in game one has to experience on self to truly understand it. Metaphorically it is about reading about the moon versus going to the moon. 

Men fall for the flesh. Females fall beyond the flesh. 

[StarStruck]

Key points with leading 

• being authentic and not fake is the basics. It is better to train being real than being fake. 
• momentum and state building can only be done through action
• in-bodying uplifting vibes by letting go of downward pulling vibes. Good vibes is created by letting go, not by forcing! Love doesn’t like force!
• self image/esteem is key: assuming you are a 10, and having an internal locus of control is major when leading