How to cope with people?

[Tech36363]

Since i was child i always had the default mindset that people are good (in the sense helping of each other, not causing harm to others and all that good stuff).

I am also very open, straight forward and honest type. I don't like to play an act which is obviously bullshit and people who are also acting know it's bullshit but go along with it cause everyone is. 

I have realized that i am tired of people. I am tired with people having no integrity and honesty. They cannot talk soul to soul (speaking the "truth" in that setting). I don't want to sound rude, some people are just out to get you for no reason. I don't want to live with peoples hate and jealousy and what not. 

How do i cope with people? 

[Danioover9000]

@Tech36363

2 hours ago, Tech36363 said:

Since i was child i always had the default mindset that people are good (in the sense helping of each other, not causing harm to others and all that good stuff).

I am also very open, straight forward and honest type. I don't like to play an act which is obviously bullshit and people who are also acting know it's bullshit but go along with it cause everyone is. 

I have realized that i am tired of people. I am tired with people having no integrity and honesty. They cannot talk soul to soul (speaking the "truth" in that setting). I don't want to sound rude, some people are just out to get you for no reason. I don't want to live with peoples hate and jealousy and what not. 

How do i cope with people? 

   Maybe take up some activity that helps you develop a perspective on those types of people. Learn to slip into those roles, and get used to how it looks, sounds and feels to you being like these people, and if they have some values, slip into those, and when you find yourself with such people, you can better manage them, and they won't be too repulsed by you, as in this point you have managed to calibrate to them.

   Of course, don't lose focus on your highest vision, or life purpose, and focus on that.  

[Preety_India]

Welcome to the world. Welcome to reality. I feel the same as you. It's tough out there.

I've dealt with a lot of dishonest people. 

Just be mindful and separate the wheat from the chaff.

[DIDego]

@Tech36363 Hi, be open and you will meet people you seek for, they arent open to you, if you are closed to them.

One example of many sites 

https://beherenownetwork.com/

 

@Nahm  ❤️? https://www.actualityofbeing.com/ 

Was the one helping me, after some period with some baby steps first, then more advanced trial and error ... tada  begun slowly adjust to be able "meet" more people in a another level and also able find some new friends.

Yes, it was terrifying a while..

Quote

Let go of what doesn’t feel good to you my man. Don’t “keep secrets”, for your own well being. Express openly, transparently. Allow the beauty that you are, the truth you are, through. It reduces rumination, overthinking, etc.

 

 

Edited May 11, 2021 by DIDego

[ilja]

you are completely right there are people that are probably not worth of purity.

but you expect something from them, which is what is causing you this pain.

maybe you can find a way to live without having these expectations met by them?

maybe you can find people that resonate with your level of honesty?

Edited May 12, 2021 by ilja

[JosephKnecht]

On 5/10/2021 at 11:21 PM, Tech36363 said:

How do i cope with people? 

You have to find your tribe. 

If you can't find it, you have to create it. 

[Nahm]

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” Corinthians 

[Tech36363]

@ilja @ilja @ilja@Nahm

 

You are right i do expect a basic decency from long term friends but they act like they are the only person on this planet. 

I know they're mentally damaged and have low self image and what not but keeping your friends back is something they should do i feel if you're going to be a friend or else why even bother being a friend. They shouldn't be called a friend but a stranger who knows you thats it. 

Also there is something wrong with the reply box on mobile its not letting me remove multiple tags 

Edited May 14, 2021 by Tech36363

[ilja]

1 hour ago, Tech36363 said:

@ilja @ilja @ilja@Nahm

 They shouldn't be called a friend but a stranger who knows you thats it. 

Then start treating them like it.

1 hour ago, Tech36363 said:

@ilja @ilja @ilja@Nahm

Also there is something wrong with the reply box on mobile its not letting me remove multiple tags 

I know

[Tech36363]

@ilja yup thanks 

[Ethan1]

Attitude is everything. 

Attitudes are contagious. 

If you're coping then it's time to focus on meeting your own needs. 

Then once you're thriving it will become easier to see. 

 

Perceptions change when your attitude changes. Positive attitude, positive frame of reality. 

Focus on meeting your needs in a healthy way. Healthy coping mechanisms such as self-care. 

Go get a massage

Go do some exercising

Set boundaries with ass holes

Get away from technology 

Do things that you enjoy

Go somewhere new

Do something new 

Edited May 17, 2021 by Ethan1

[Eternity]

@Tech36363 I believe you have made a fundamental error in your perspective.  In this stage of existence, we are still tethered to ego when communicating with others.  No matter how good your intentions are, you are still using ego as the language through which you try to express your good will while the ego only uses ill will to express itself.  This is the obstacle that gets in our way to represent Spiritual values. The world we perceive is split by two differing thought systems.  The world in which body and ego are dominant can not possibly represent the world in which pure unconditional Love is the only thing in existence.  We do not even have words that are adequate.  Others also struggle with the same divided mind scenario and also are ill equipped to express Love in its truest form.  I used to dislike being around other people for that reason.  But one very remarkable book took me out of that mind set and illuminated real universal Love to me.  It cleared the pathway for me to experience Love instead of bitterness.  It is called "A Course in Miracles."  It uses some Christian terms in correcting our mistaken thinking but is not what we would term "religious."  What shines through is Love and Compassion.  At first, since it is written in stream of thought style it seems difficult.  Most likely, I think, the ego tries to make it difficult because ego knows when you intend to stifle it.  But the more I read the easier it got and the more comforted and peaceful I felt, and eventually, I found I loved others and had great compassion for those still struggling in the lower stages of spiritual development.  Here is a short paragraph from ACIM regarding how to "see" your brothers (mannkind):

"The way to recognize your brother is by recognizing the Holy Spirit in  him.  I have already said that the Holy Spirit is the bridge for the transfer of perception to knowledge, so we can use the terms as if they were related,  because in His Mind they are.  This relationship must be in His Mind because, unless it were, the separation between the two ways of thinking would not be open to healing.  He is part of the Holy Trinity, because His Mind is partly yours and also partly God's.  This needs clarification, not in statement but in experience....

The idea of the Holy Spirit shares the property of other ideas because it follows the laws of the Universe of which it is  part.  It is strengthened by being given away.  It increases in you as you give it to your brother.  Your brother does not have to be aware of the Holy Spirit in himself or in you for this miracle to occur.  He may have dissociated the Call for God just as you have.  This dissociation is healed in both off you as you become aware of the Call for God in him and thus acknowledge its being."

You see, every act of inconsideration or hate or unkindness from a brother (all of mankind) is a Call for God, a need for healing in his mind and in yours.  And we all have the divine ability to heal minds simply by seeing them as a brother in need and forgiving them their ignorance because the world needs forgiveness and love, just as a child who acts out in a hostile way.  Rather than condemnation, wouldn't it be more productive to ask them why they are angry and reassure them that they are still God's child, God's creation, and you still love them.  Nothing heals the hurt of others and yours more quickly and completely than Love.

Edited May 17, 2021 by Eternity

[flume]

Why cope with it? It's not yours, is it? The only thing that matters when interacting with other people is your response. I think Matt Kahn put it beautifully in a talk when he said something along the lines of "One day you'll realise that it's not about what happens to you in life, it's about how you respond." And that actually, the fulfilment you thought would come through outside circumstances was in your hands all along. It's exhilarating to respond lovingly in every situation :-) And if you can't do that yet, that's ok. Then you just need to first direct more love towards yourself. That will get you to a point where other people's reactions won't matter much anymore. 

Also, know nothing about yourself. The kind, open, honest person you think you are is probably standing in your way big time. The more you define yourself and the more you think you know about yourself, the more you'll think you know about other people. Even though you don't. 

The greatest relationships you can have are those where you're not projecting all your ideas, morals and needs onto the other person. Or yourself.

[Tech36363]

@flume really great insight