Becoming mindful feels more normal

[fopylo]

So as I'm practicing more mindfulness, it may sound funny but I feel more able to engage myself in a video game or play the piano a bit. This is quite big for me.

If you've noticed, being engaged in a video game requires quite an amount of presence, which is the reason I was always avoiding it. It's scary to lose myself and be emergent with something - I'll be dead!

But yeah, it feels like I'm functioning more like a normal human who just likes to play video games, but it was just some stupid phone game (not something really engaging honestly).

Also I feel like I'm slowly shifting to the shy territory (from being socially anxious). What I mean by that is that I'm little by little allowing myself to experience fear/discomfort/anxiety in public. The truth is that it is way easier to recognize a shy person from a socially anxious person - because the shy accepts himself more which enables him to reveal his fears and discomforts, which makes him less anxious, kind of a loop.

It is still hard for me and I still struggle. I have an identity that all what I do is thinking how I can self actualize without actually doing anything with my life (except meditation practices and a bit of reading and gym). Also to be kind of a confident guy, trying to be more "alpha" but not something serious like macho, which handicaps my ability to deeply feel and express those fears when they come, and I find shy people good at doing that

[Shin]

4 hours ago, fopylo said:

So as I'm practicing more mindfulness, it may sound funny but I feel more able to engage myself in a video game or play the piano a bit. This is quite big for me.

What I mean by that is that I'm little by little allowing myself to experience fear/discomfort/anxiety in public.

It is still hard for me and I still struggle. I have an identity that all what I do is thinking how I can self actualize without actually doing anything with my life (except meditation practices and a bit of reading and gym).

Isn't it nice to be able to enjoy everything more by just being present right ?

Music is night and day, you don't know what it is to appreciate music unless you can shut your mind off and completely be with the music <3

 

Letting yourself feel negative emotion, especially in public, is a HUGE step, be proud of yourself, that's not something a lot of people are comfortable with

 

You can't change everything at once, if meditation and the gym resonate more with you than something you think is more important, that's exactly what you should do

[kag101]

Hmm...

Let me see if I got it right:

11 hours ago, fopylo said:

If you've noticed, being engaged in a video game requires quite an amount of presence, which is the reason I was always avoiding it. It's scary to lose myself and be emergent with something - I'll be dead!

I don't get it. You don't want to "let yourself go" and just enjoy what you're doing without thinking about being mindful?

11 hours ago, fopylo said:

The truth is that it is way easier to recognize a shy person from a socially anxious person - because the shy accepts himself more which enables him to reveal his fears and discomforts, which makes him less anxious, kind of a loop.

Interesting insight!

 

[Megan Alecia]

Mindfulness involves detachment from the ego which is thoroughly influenced by the id. This creates in a person more clarity, since you act less from the motivation of the id (which may be fearful, egocentric, closed off/pretending to be invulnerable, has a lot of unprocessed stuff in general.)

[Shin]

16 minutes ago, kag101 said:

Hmm...

Let me see if I got it right:

I don't get it. You don't want to "let yourself go" and just enjoy what you're doing without thinking about being mindful?

 

 

 

I think he means being totally engrossed and lose consciousness in the activity, being lower than thoughts (like being drunk in a sense).

That's different than being totally in the moment, enjoying the experience for what it is and being completely conscious of everything that's happening.

Edited May 11, 2021 by Shin

[Inva]

@fopylo u'll be "alpha" when you calm and confident in urself not needing to be alpha, in denmark lol such a different culture on these gender roles

[fopylo]

@Shin

16 hours ago, Shin said:

Music is night and day, you don't know what it is to appreciate music unless you can shut your mind off and completely be with the music <3

Totally! But in general I have a musical ear and I love listening to music because it just feels so true. I won't be surprised if my life purpose turns out to be creating music.

 

16 hours ago, Shin said:

Letting yourself feel negative emotion, especially in public, is a HUGE step, be proud of yourself, that's not something a lot of people are comfortable with

I mean... I am very much struggling with it and I wouldn't say I've really managed. Even showing signs of tiredness and sighing are hard for me. I think it has to do with the fact that it's difficult for me to be authentic, even though I've practiced quite a bit of mindfulness.. ugh..

[fopylo]

@kag101

8 hours ago, kag101 said:

I don't get it. You don't want to "let yourself go" and just enjoy what you're doing without thinking about being mindful?

Interesting.. You might be on to something. Perhaps it could be true, but I believe I do it unconsciously which is kinda funny. I'm unconsciously thinking about being mindful, which is a conscious act, but thinking about it isn't since I'm not getting anywhere

[fopylo]

8 hours ago, Shin said:

I think he means being totally engrossed and lose consciousness in the activity, being lower than thoughts (like being drunk in a sense).

That's different than being totally in the moment, enjoying the experience for what it is and being completely conscious of everything that's happening.

So quite the opposite. As kag101 said, it is the fear of letting go and being totally immersed in it (like being totally in it, like infinite with it).
Perhaps your claim would've been correct if I'd have more experience playing video games and seeing the negative aspect of it

[Zigzag Idiot]

A couple of things I’ve found useful for being more mindful: 

• Sensing the feet or hara. Sensing the physicality that is. Helps keep me out of my head. The feet are good because so many nerve endings plus the pressure while standing or walking makes them easier to sense.
• Keeping a good bit of attention on my peripheral vision. Which means split attention. It quietens the mind,,,, When done successfully I won’t have a startle response to about anything.

[kag101]

10 hours ago, fopylo said:

Interesting.. You might be on to something. Perhaps it could be true, but I believe I do it unconsciously which is kinda funny. I'm unconsciously thinking about being mindful, which is a conscious act, but thinking about it isn't since I'm not getting anywhere

I used to do the same thing, especially when I started reading Thich Nhat Hahn.

I like his ideas, but at some point I was completely neurotic about paying attention to my breath. Even as I was watching a movie, I would think: "OH! I have to be mindful of my breathing."  This would always kill my vibe.

Fortunately I ended up realized that the more I was trying to be present, the less I actually was.

[fopylo]

@kag101

20 hours ago, kag101 said:

This would always kill my vibe.

Totally.

 

20 hours ago, kag101 said:

the more I was trying to be present, the less I actually was.

Then how did you become present without trying to?

Being present requires you to know  you are present, and knowing that requires you to say to yourself for a brief second "oh, I'm present" (and then in my case "wait, shit, you're not"  )

[kag101]

On 12/05/2021 at 6:42 PM, fopylo said:

Being present requires you to know  you are present, and knowing that requires you to say to yourself for a brief second "oh, I'm present"

imo, it's actually the opposite. when i say that to myself, i'm not in the moment anymore, but in my head.

On 12/05/2021 at 6:42 PM, fopylo said:

Then how did you become present without trying to?

by doing things i naturally enjoy doing. it's just like a child or a dog. they don't try to be present; they simply are.

 

btw - i think that in the future they will come up with a term to describe a disorder that is characterized by obsessively trying to be present. Obsessive-compusive mindfulness, or something lol. I suffered from that, for sure.