If you think you are attractive, you are; if you think you don't, you don't

[StarStruck]

If you think you are attractive, you are; if you think you don't, you don't

Yesterday I did daygame and this was my biggest insight. I always thought I was average or even below average. Why? Because girls don't look at me that much in public places.  Turns out this is just bollocks.

Recently I have been getting some success and it really rubbed off of me. It is really not a thing you say or do but a way of being. It is confidence, entitlement, detachment, unbotheredness, charisma and a little bit of goofiness.

Be like this, but in male form:

 

[Proserpina]

Exactly! This works for girls too. When I was a little overweight but channeling intense levels of confidence from spiritual practice I had people flirting with me all the time. 

[tatsumaru]

That's not exactly true. We are not built to be universally attractive, certain things are not attractive to us because they are not compatible with us, the same we don't like all music and we don't like all food and the same like not all chemical elements form bonds etc.. Thinking you are universally unattractive however makes you unattractive to your compatible mates as well which is quite problematic. So this whole thing about being attractive or unattractive can be safely dropped from the mindset as it is not needed.

[Proserpina]

Self love and self confidence will raise your overall value significantly in comparison to raising other variables.  Of course different people will like you to varying degrees.

[StarStruck]

40 minutes ago, tatsumaru said:

That's not exactly true. We are not built to be universally attractive, certain things are not attractive to us because they are not compatible with us, the same we don't like all music and we don't like all food and the same like not all chemical elements form bonds etc.. Thinking you are universally unattractive however makes you unattractive to your compatible mates as well which is quite problematic. So this whole thing about being attractive or unattractive can be safely dropped from the mindset as it is not needed.

What others think about you is secondary. If you think you are attractive, YOU are attractive. I didn't say you would become attractive to every person.

In retrospect, if you think you are unattractive, even the people that might find you attractive wont find you attractive, because why would anybody like you when you don't like yourself?

[Hardkill]

Wait, but on my thread called "How much do women get turned on by a man's looks?" Leo said: 

Quote

 If you got high looks, online dating will be shooting fish in a barrel.

My response to that was:

Quote

Not according to my experience. In fact, online dating is like a numbers game times 10. 

Leo then said back to me:

Quote

 

1) Then you're not at good looking as you claim.

or

2) You don't understand how to game online.

 

 

So, my question is that if the saying "If you think you are attractive, you are; if you think you don't, you don't" is true, then why did someone like Leo basically suggest to me that just because I think that I am attractive doesn't mean that I really am?

[Preety_India]

I always had a huge complex around this whole topic. People used to tell me that I'm attractive but I never felt it, maybe because of deep rooted cultural beliefs.

When people tell me that I'm attractive ,it's usually people from other countries.

 

[Max_V]

It's really difficult breaking out of those cultural metrics ingrained in used to measure your looks and level of attractiveness. Simply being grounded in my own opinion of myself is something that I'm working hard towards.

Any tips on getting there?

@StarStruck

 

[Loving Radiance]

22 hours ago, StarStruck said:

It is confidence, entitlement, detachment, unbotheredness, charisma and a little bit of goofiness.

15 minutes ago, Max_V said:

Simply being grounded in my own opinion of myself is something that I'm working hard towards.

I dunno what went wrong with me but since having faced death & insanity on a shroom trip I felt that any unconfident thoughts were created by me aka I believed them to be about me and thus they had substance. I had the knowledge before but it then really stuck - something in the trip shifted something in my mind. It made me feel more comfortable in my body and more accepting of old patterns of feeling inadequate.

Some related things coming up: Feeling > knowing. All things that don't resonate (don't feel good) aren't true and there is love towards untrue things for them to be let go of.

[Inva]

@StarStruck wild animals across the savanna. Live life great stuff. It's so funny though that women just fall for it like they don't think guys just tryin to play a role even though there's all this stuff on it. Lots of smart ladies where I am.

[StarStruck]

8 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I always had a huge complex around this whole topic. People used to tell me that I'm attractive but I never felt it, maybe because of deep rooted cultural beliefs.

When people tell me that I'm attractive ,it's usually people from other countries.

 

If you are the girl in your ava you have nothing to worry about, hun.

 

3 hours ago, Max_V said:

It's really difficult breaking out of those cultural metrics ingrained in used to measure your looks and level of attractiveness. Simply being grounded in my own opinion of myself is something that I'm working hard towards.

Any tips on getting there?

@StarStruck

 

You have to do mindfulness while approaching random girls. Your attention will tell the truth. If you focus more on your own feelings than focusing on what the other feels, it means you are grounded within yourself. If you neglect your own feelings to focus on if the other person is "entertained" or likes you or not, it means you are not grounded.

The metric is fear. The more fearful you are the more you will focus outside of yourself. The more relaxed you are, the more you will focus on yourself.

[Growly]

 You're so oblivious