How do you 'resolve' extreme dualities? How do you integrate polar opposites?

[ivankiss]

Let's say you notice a deep inner conflict between two seemingly opposite perspectives. Paradigms or realities, even.

How do you go about integrating both sides of the coin - so to speak - without ending up excluding or denying one side and picking one over the other?

I thought simply noticing and taking no action - not leaning towards one or the other side - was the answer. But I'm not so sure about that anymore. 

An example of this would be;

On one side you want to pursue money, fame and sex and on the other you want to retrieve into a cave and meditate 24/7. 

How does the middle way look like in this situation for you? 

What do you do? How do you act?

 

Edited May 9, 2021 by ivankiss

[mandyjw]

I don't think you have to do anything to integrate anything, just follow your heart in the moment. I live in a really remote area, and when I visited a major city as a an adult it completely blew my mind. I was in such a state of awe, just taking it all in. When I came home to my familiar little town, the same awe and taking it all in was there and it was such a strange incredible experience, to realize that there was no novel, no familiar, no natural, no marvels of engineering, but I WAS the awe. 

Celebrities so often seem to experience the same isolation that cave meditators would, it just looks different to us. I think going to the depth of the desire and realizing yourself beyond circumstances is the deeper desire. How it plays out in life is secondary, illusory. 

[Leo Gura]

It is a foolish mistake to automatically assume the truth is the mid-point between any two given positions.

Consciousness is required to adjudicate and resolve between such things with wisdom.

A true decision requires you to cut off one possibility entirely from another. There is a deep power in saying NO to a thing. It is liberating.

In your situation you should not look for the middle way, you should look for the right way. The right way is whichever aligns with your genuine passions and values.

You lack clarity on your values -- that's what makes such decisions difficult. So clarify your values.

You can also experiment with both forks of the road before making your final decision. You can live 1 year in a cave and you can spend 1 year chasing sex and money. And then see which one you like better.

You also make a plan such as: I will work on business and sex for the next 5 years. Then I will retire to a cave for 2 years. Then I will return back to society and live as a householder and run a business.

[Osaid]

I would take a look at the pros and cons of each activity, and then take action according to that. Why do people pursue that? Why do they pursue the latter? What is the payment and benefit of doing either activity? What does it achieve?

9 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

How do you go about integrating both sides of the coin - so to speak - without ending up excluding or denying one side and picking one over the other?

Often times, integrating something requires you to fully do that thing. Otherwise, how do you know what it actually has to offer, other than rumors you have heard of it? Perhaps the experience of chasing fame, money and sex is the catalyst for wanting to retreat into a cave. I don't think it's a matter of always doing both, but rather, fully realizing the benefits and limitations of both.

[ivankiss]

16 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

I don't think you have to do anything to integrate anything, just follow your heart in the moment. I live in a really remote area, and when I visited a major city as a an adult it completely blew my mind. I was in such a state of awe, just taking it all in. When I came home to my familiar little town, the same awe and taking it all in was there and it was such a strange incredible experience, to realize that there was no novel, no familiar, no natural, no marvels of engineering, but I WAS the awe. 

Beautiful ? Can relate.

16 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Celebrities so often seem to experience the same isolation that cave meditators would, it just looks different to us. 

Yup. That crossed my mind a few times.

16 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

I think going to the depth of the desire and realizing yourself beyond circumstances is the deeper desire. How it plays out in life is secondary, illusory. 

That hits home, yup. Thank you.

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It is a foolish mistake to automatically assume the truth is the mid-point between any two given positions.

Consciousness is required to adjudicate and resolve between such things with wisdom.

Yes. But then again there's this quote:

'I never thought I'd find wisdom in being a fool.'

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

A true decision requires you to cut off one possibility entirely from another. There is a deep power in saying NO to a thing. It is liberating.

Been feeling the power of NO lately, often. It's awesome. But I'm not used to it enough lol.

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

In your situation you should not look for the middle way, you should look for the right way. The right way is whichever aligns with your genuine passions and values.

You lack clarity on your values -- that's what makes such decisions difficult. So clarify your values.

Been emphasising that lately. My values are strongly defined. Sticking to them is what's bugging me sometimes ?

Edited May 9, 2021 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

27 minutes ago, Osaid said:

I would take a look at the pros and cons of each activity, and then take action according to that. Why do people pursue that? Why do they pursue the latter? What is the payment and benefit of doing either activity? What does it achieve?

Often times, integrating something requires you to fully do that thing. Otherwise, how do you know what it actually has to offer, other than rumors you have heard of it? Perhaps the experience of chasing fame, money and sex is the catalyst for wanting to retreat into a cave. I don't think it's a matter of always doing both, but rather, fully realizing the benefits and limitations of both.

Pretty much exactly the thoughts I've been having ? 

I'm kinda paralyzed by choice - in my mind. But the good news is; in actuality I'm totally on the right track. Just doing some fine tuning.

[LastThursday]

54 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Let's say you notice a deep inner conflict between two seemingly opposite perspectives.

It's tempting to call conflicting perspectives opposites. Notice how conflicting perspectives simply means they appear to be difficult to do simultaneously. Really, conflicting and opposite are set up by the mind to both dismiss taking action, and to create a sense of drama. Perspectives don't need to always happen simultaneously and nor are they separate silos:

54 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

On side you want to pursue money, fame and sex and on the other you want to retrieve into a cave and meditate 24/7. 

Spend X years pursuing money and then spend X years living in a cave.

Or simply go live in a cave, but also pursue money. Why not? Pick and choose what you want from both perspectives.

Edited May 9, 2021 by LastThursday

[ivankiss]

@LastThursday Excellent! Thank you.

I feel like that right there is what true self - empowerment is.

[LastThursday]

@ivankiss I could do with empowering myself and taking my own advice

[WaveInTheOcean]

just follow your heart

[WaveInTheOcean]

3 minutes ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

just follow your heart

"It's tempting to call conflicting perspectives opposites. Notice how conflicting perspectives simply means they appear to be difficult to do simultaneously. Really, conflicting and opposite are set up by the mind to both dismiss taking action, and to create a sense of drama. Perspectives don't need to always happen simultaneously and nor are they separate silos"

This is gold.

Also Daniel has some wisdom in this little article: https://civilizationemerging.com/higher-dimensional-thinking/ 

Also, remember, all is always well, no matter what you do.

Just God. Just love. Just Perfection. Just Maya.
 

 

Edited May 9, 2021 by WaveInTheOcean

[ivankiss]

@LastThursday ?

This applies great on the emotional spectrum, too.

For example; feeling angry or sad or anything that is commonly considered as a 'lower emotional state' does not contradict or oppose in any way feelings like bliss, joy, peace, curiosity, excitement etc. 

It's all just one spectrum. No actual barriers or walls to break through. No opposition.

[ivankiss]

@WaveInTheOcean In my heart I know the truth and the way. But I am experiencing a certain level of cognitive dissonance. So I'm kinda working that out a bit.

Watched a few videos of Anna. She's gorgeous. And speaks the truth.

@Kalo I feel you and can kinda relate. But it's the 'being lost' part that I'm not a fan of ?

 

 

[Nahm]

15 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

feeling angry or sad or anything that is commonly considered as a 'lower emotional state' does not contradict or oppose in any way feelings like bliss, joy, peace, curiosity, excitement etc. 

 

[ivankiss]

@Nahm  I don't get it but I kinda do ?

[ivankiss]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

You can also experiment with both forks of the road before making your final decision. You can live 1 year in a cave and you can spend 1 year chasing sex and money. And then see which one you like better.

You also make a plan such as: I will work on business and sex for the next 5 years. Then I will retire to a cave for 2 years. Then I will return back to society and live as a householder and run a business.

Missed this part. Gold.

Thank you.

[ivankiss]

Holy shit ? Has anyone here had the 'I'm suffering because I kinda like it' realization?

 

[Breakingthewall]

If you want to go chase money and fame, there is no way that you want to go to a cave for two years. If you want to go to the cave, there is no way you want to chase money and fame. just find out what you really want and do it

[ivankiss]

@Breakingthewall Yup. Ya'll are pointing towards the heart. Great ? 

Personally; I do not feel like retrieving to a cave lol ? But I am - or was believing that I am - experiencing conflicting beliefs and pulls in different directions when it comes to money, sex, creativity and more. I was feeling overwhelmed by the idea that I somehow must integrate all these aspects at once.

I resonate most with the idea of experimenting a bit now, but also not straying too far away from the path I'm already walking.

[mandyjw]

42 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Holy shit ? Has anyone here had the 'I'm suffering because I kinda like it' realization?

Why are there roller coasters, casinos, horror movies, any movies or stories at all, drugs? Why is the deepest pleasure chasing also its opposite? Cause it's chasing what you already are. But if you think that knowledge is IT, you're still riding those ups and downs cause you can't hold the thought in your mind all the time, so you'll be constantly forgetting and remembering it. It's too good to be true!