"you Think Too Much."

[Pallero]

This is what I've been hearing ever since I was a child. That I'm too sensitive and I think too much.

As long as I remember I've been passionately interested in the world's mysteries, philosophy and psychology. I'm also sensitive to all kinds of things.

I have also suffered from depression, anxiety, fears et cetera. Whenever I try to get help, the response I often get is "you think too much" or "too deeply".

"Normal people don't think about these things. They just get up, go to work and don't question everything."

But I have always been this way. I can't stop thinking and wondering. And it makes me depressed about society and people.

I was just wondering, can anyone relate? How can I stop feeling so damn miserable and misunderstood all the time? Why does everyone treat me like I'm weird and abnormal?

[Monkey Mind]

When it happens my ego responds "Yeah, I'm weird and I like it".

[MonikaBcn]

I would say there is nothing wrong with thinking a lot as long as it doesn´t make you suffer.

Do you want to stop thinking and wondering or not? It makes you miserable so I guess you do. What have you done to stop thinking so much?

I´m sure meditation and affirmations can help. But frist of all you have to get rid of that belief ¨I am this way, period¨. If not, nothing will change.

[Stef]

Oh yeah, I've heard that one a lot.

It's true, I tend to overthink and analyze everything. I analyze myself, my decisions, my emotions, my behaviour. I'm always searching for patterns and reasons. I do it with everyone else too. I've become so good at it that usually when I reach a conclusion I'm right - and it doesn't take me that long.

It's both a blessing and a curse, really. You need to find a good balance of thinking smart without becoming stuck in your head constantly. 

[Pallero]

@future That's what I want, some confidence.

@MonikaBcn Thinking doesn't make me miserable and I don't believe I can stop. Meditation doesn't really stop me from thinking. I meant I'm miserable, because I keep hearing that there's something wrong with me.

@Neuroticon I think you might be right. It's useful to use it to your advantage, to think smart. But how? Even though I kind of know that it's a strength, I don't see how I could specifically use it. I'd love to make use of it. It does help a lot. You see through other people, you understand many things about the world et cetera.

[Saarah]

I guess it all depends on the type of thinking you engage in

Thinking deeply about life, like you said psychology and philosophy I think is great. It's great to question things and to think why. Personal development requires that you think more deeply than most people about things otherwise you end up sleepwalking your way through life and not understanding yourself etc.

But there is that other type of overthinking, like people have mentioned such as the overanalysing, thinking too much about what people said to you, overthinking about events in the day, judging everything and having negative, anxious thoughts.

The irony is it requires deep reflection and personal development type work to stop overthinking stuff in the non-healthy way

Good luck! Don't worry too much about the opinions' of others, I generally keep all this personal development stuff of mine just a thing I do privately and don't really discuss it with people in my life because I feel they just wont understand it properly. I certainly recommend Leos videos on not caring about what other people think, and being your authentic self.

Think away young one! lol

[clytaemnestra]

I'm the same. I sit quietly in the corner, but actually my head is full of thoughts. I don't think that thinking is bad. Overthinking is bad, and the only way you can fight against it is to be aware that you are overthinking and to give yourself a time. Don't make a decisions nor statements over night. Give yourself few days and then sit and see things from the other corner. It helps me.

[MonikaBcn]

@Pallero on what ocassions do you hear that there is sth wrong with you? why do people even comment on what´s going on in your head? how do they know?

[Anicko]

If it doesn't make you miserable, then why should you care what other people think? You are letting others make you think there's something wrong with you. You gotta let that stuff roll right off your back! 

Now, if they are pointing out a problem you aren't aware of yet, it might do you some good to consider why someone would say that. I have had a tendency to overthink and create problems that didn't exist. I would get mad when I was told I was thinking about it too much... That feeling of being mad about the comment was an alert being sent to me by my own self to realize that I was indeed causing myself trouble. So, I try very hard to not do it so much. 

If someone says I am overthinking but I don't feel upset by their comment, then I know their comment is false. 

[kalter000]

@Pallero I relate 100%. I had a huge depression, it made me absolutely dysfunctional. I was desperately trying to find answers to my misery, get to know myself, find reasons to my mental struggle.
And I've found them. Along the journey literally no one could understand me, telling "You think too much, just be yourself, relax, be simple". I'm glad I didn't  bury them in the forest at that time. 
If you are seeking answers, there is a reason for that, but you might not be conscious of it. Keep on track, think for yourself and eventionally you will find them.

[Pallero]

@Saarah Thanks! I feel that often in order to find out some answers I hit dead ends over and over again. I can't tell productive from non-productive thinking. But how do you relate to people in general? Doesn't it bother you that they don't think about this stuff? It bothers me.

@MonikaBcn They comment, because I incessantly talk and complain about stuff. I complain about the society, people, the world, my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, pain... and I ask them questions whether they agree with me or can relate. 

@Anicko When people tell me that, I get very upset and defensive. I don't feel like I cause problems that don't exist. To me, my problems are very real. Other people just don't see them. Could I be creating problems that don't exist? What does it mean that a problem "doesn't exist"? Aren't all problems subjective? Why do they feel so real if they don't exist?

@kalter000 That sounds very familiar. How did you find the answers? What was your reason for seeking answers? And how did you deal with being misunderstood?

[MonikaBcn]

@Pallero

50 minutes ago, Pallero said:

 

@MonikaBcn They comment, because I incessantly talk and complain about stuff. I complain about the society, people, the world, my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, pain... and I ask them questions whether they agree with me or can relate. 

 

And u still state that thinking doesnt make you miserable and that you don't want to change?

[kalter000]

42 minutes ago, Pallero said:

What was your reason for seeking answers?

As I wrote, I had depression. I wasn't fan of everyday nightmares and internal suffering.

 

46 minutes ago, Pallero said:

And how did you deal with being misunderstood?

It was my least problem.

 

47 minutes ago, Pallero said:

How did you find the answers?

Introspection, looking up different material and connecting the dots, working on mindfulness. Had a couple lucky moments when I said "This is it! I found out what's wrong".

[Anicko]

@Pallero

Those are things that you will understand once you experience it. You really have to stop and ask yourself why you feel defensive? What did the person say that upset me, and why does it make me feel upset?". But you have to be totally self honest. Why hide the truth from yourself? But we do. And it can be so hard to admit, even to yourself, that you are totally responsible for what your life is. And that is stuff that goes so deep, but it will really change your life and how you see your world. 

Edited February 10, 2016 by Anicko

[Pallero]

I think I'm starting to understand this.

There seems to be a paradox here. (I'm reminded of Leo's paradox video.) On one hand I have to be myself and be proud and accept myself. On the other hand I need to make some changes. On one hand thinking is good and necessary. On the other hand it's damaging and has to be reduced.

I meditated on this and I realized that in order to realize what is damaging I have to do the damage. Thinking is a gift and it can and will help me understand many difficult things. On the other hand it can be a curse. But what I really get now that it has to be both. I can never appreciate the gift and use it unless I first hurt myself with the curse side of it.

Thank you!

[Anicko]

You just need to learn how to use your emotional triggers to figure out what the belief you hold is that is causing your distress. 

'What is the worst case scenario of this thing I'm 'overthinking' about? Why am I so concerned?'. Let's say you get to "Things always go badly for me.". Okay, is it true? If not, tell yourself it's a lie and move on. If it seems true, question why. Is it maybe only true because you've told yourself to believe that? 

[Wrlw]

Thinking just is. Its not good or bad. its not right or wrong. it can be all of those. it can be none of those. just perspectives. try a different one.

[Hunter Arrington]

Great post. Thinking is only good when making decisions or doing anything that requires thinking. In meditation, thinking is at a minimum. Depression results from the false identification with the self which we all have. False identification with the self is halted by meditation and getting proper hygiene in terms of diet and sleep. When the ego stops, the suffering stops. I believe your "overthinking" can truly be turned into something extremely productive and gratifying. Suffering and readiness has to happen before enlightenment happens. It is good you suffer and have these thoughts, only because it means you are ready to move into a life full of great thing such as joy and productivity. 

[jms0717]

There is nothing wrong with being different. The pursuit of knowledge is an admirable hobby. Sometimes having so much knowledge and experience can be overwhelming and scary as you are experiencing. A meditation practice would probably help a ton, and some different friends who understand you better would help as well. 

[Adam G]

@Pallero You're right, you can't stop thinking.  But you can develop an awareness of your thoughts, your thought patterns, and the value of each.  You can develop the skill to not be distracted with pessimism, negativity, and non productive ideas.  Develop your awareness as you would practice any skill.. with persistence and consistency.

Also, give up your attachment of beliefs and opinions of others.  Adhere to 'Use what you can and leave the rest'.  Everybody should have a healthy dose of whogivesashit.

Lastly, consider the serenity prayer:

"God (or choose your divinity), grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference."