How to overcome fear of spending money?

[Monkey_in_suit]

Hi everyone,

I have unhealthy relationship with money and whenever I spend money, even on smaller things, I have some kind of anxiety and big pressure in my chest.

The funniest thing is that I am in very good financial situation and I should be  one of the last persons having that feeling.

When I think about it I can recognize that fear is coming because I grown up in poor family but I am not able to overcome it at all.

[Wordless]

One thing that helped me was to put a price tag on my time (like, how much is an hour of my free time worth). When I am pondering for half an hour over some tiny amount, I remind myself how expensive that pondering was, and ask myself if the investment was worth it. Same when I spend time to save money, like comparing prices before making a purchase. More often than not, the decision what to buy ends up more expensive than the cost of the thing. That insight has relaxed my relationship to money quite a bit.

[Roy]

If you're careful about what you buy, and only buy things that are absolutely necessary or make you really happy, spending that money actually becomes ENJOYABLE.

For example I just moved into my first full apartment where I'm completely alone. I've spent about 2.5K furnishing and for other household things, and on a few fun things for myself. I don't even have a job either right now! Usually this would make me anxiety ridden, but I know the quality of my life will improve and that I'm gonna use this stuff down the road.

If you have what you need, there is simply no reason to be fearful.

The only time fear should come in is when you are actually in a dangerous situation of poverty, because then it's useful and that fear will motivate you to get out of it. If you're living comfortably that fear is useless and just makes you suffer for no reason.

[mandyjw]

The main thing is what you've already done, made an intention to feel better about money. Look around or write a list of things you're inspired by or want without buying them. Generally tap into the feeling of inspiration more and more. If you feel really, really good about the idea of buying something, do it. You can also start to view it as supporting other businesses, find local food places or whatever places make you feel good and focus on the feeling of doing something good or supporting them. Donating to charity can help too. 

I struggled with this a long time, here's a funny example. Last fall I wanted an antique owl clock, the kind with the moving eyes. (I love old, creepy things, I dunno). So I bought one and it inspired a new design for my business that I made and am still making far more of off than I spent on the clock. When you allow inspiration, you get more of it. Nothing you give away is ever gone or lost. 

[Leo Gura]

Spend it. Waste it.

Face your face head-on.

Counter-intuitive moves

[Hulia]

For me it´s like climbing a mountain - difficult and long. But once a decision is taken (to spend money), it´s like merry rushing down - qiuck and breath-taking. 

I have decided to do a big investment. I´ll buy and let install an electric heating pump in combination with photovoltaics on the roof and accumulator in the cellar for nights and rainy days. It´s so fucking expensive even with state funding, compared to a normal gas heating, it will take me all my savings. But hey, no fucking Russian gas in my house (they can do with North Stream what they want - I won´t buy it) and no CO2 in the sky. 

Edited May 9, 2021 by Hulia