Is it possible to never find ANY girls who perceive you to be their type?

[Jacob Morres]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If I showed you pics of the kind of girls I attracted, you would think I'm lying.

U got clout tho brahhh

That shit is OP

[Blackhawk]

"Is it possible to never find ANY girls who perceive you to be their type?"

Yes.

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

U got clout tho brahhh

That shit is OP

I attracted them before I started Actualized.org

You think I am this well-known public figure. The reality is, 99.9999% of people have no idea who I am. My celebrity status is virtually zero.

Sure, I could leverage my business to attract girls if I really wanted to. But I basically haven't done so. You certainly don't need to do so to attract hot girls. Although it would be nice if you got off your ass and built a decent business and stopped making excuses.

If the only way you can attract hot women is by building a successful business, then DO IT! This is a valid mating strategy. That's like killing two birds with one stone.

[Hardkill]

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

No

You will even attract hotties.

If I showed you pics of the kind of girls I attracted, you would think I'm lying.

If you talk to 1000 girls, you will attract some stunners. But of course stunners are rare so you gotta actually find where they hang out and talk to them. If you never talk to a stunner, you have zero chance of attracting one. The problem with attracting stunners is not that they demand too much, but they are simply not common in the general population. You are never going to find a stunner at your local Walmart.

Wait does that mean that even if I have no status, no money, look very unattractive, and have shitty game, I will still get laid and/or a relationship with some 8s, 9s, and 10s if I talk to 1000+ girls in the right places?

Edited May 16, 2021 by Hardkill

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

look very unattractive, and have shitty game

1) You still need to make yourself look dapper and stylish. For a man, looking attractive includes how you groom, dress, and carry yourself. I am not giving you a license to be a disgusting, smelly, hairy goblin in rags.

2) With shitty game not only will you not get laid, women will even call security on you. Good game is crucial. But you develop that as you approach those 1000. Nobody starts with good game. If you go out every week, your game skills will double every 6 months.

[Hardkill]

13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

1) You still need to make yourself look dapper and stylish. For a man, looking attractive includes how you groom, dress, and carry yourself. I am not giving you a license to be a disgusting, smelly, hairy goblin in rags.

2) With shitty game not only will you not get laid, women will even call security on you. Good game is crucial. But you develop that as you approach those 1000. Nobody starts with good game. If you go out every week, your game skills will double every 6 months.

Alright, well yeah you can't ever really get away with coming off looking like an ungroomed slob, wearing unfashionable clothes/accessories, and have bad hygiene when approaching and dating women.

So, then assuming that I look dapper and stylish, have good hygiene, carry myself well, what have you, would I still be able to get those 8s, 9s, and 10s even with just mediocre game?

[John Iverson]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

1) You still need to make yourself look dapper and stylish. For a man, looking attractive includes how you groom, dress, and carry yourself. I am not giving you a license to be a disgusting, smelly, hairy goblin in rags.

2) With shitty game not only will you not get laid, women will even call security on you. Good game is crucial. But you develop that as you approach those 1000. Nobody starts with good game. If you go out every week, your game skills will double every 6 months.

I remember we go out with a guy that i met here that is also in picking up with women, at the club after we approach some girls the bouncer kick us out and we have no idea why, ? that time that friend of mine said to me just let it go but on the inside i thought the only problem i have is my fear of approach i did not know that it is more challenging than than so the fear i have multiplied

So when we go to other club i friended a bouncer there haha tho that bouncer obligue as to buy alcohol so we have no choice, arg!! That part is irritating

And outside after the party the guise there wants a bribe for us to be connected with them i dont want bribery but because we thought it is the only way then yes we give him a little 

 

Edited May 17, 2021 by John Iverson

[docs20]

On 14/5/2021 at 6:51 AM, Leo Gura said:

No. This will not happen.

Stop making up excuses for not talking to girls.

If you talk to 1000 girls, you'll see dozens of them will be interested in sleeping with you at the very least.

Most girls are not as picky as you think. You just need to get a few of the basics down and at least 10%-20% of girls will start getting attracted. Of course you won't be able to close most of them simply for logistical reasons.

What would these basics be?

[Emerald]

On 5/14/2021 at 2:54 AM, StarStruck said:

Women aren't static. They change. Especially in their younger years some have very high standards and then they find out they are getting older and that 10/10 white knight in shining armor is not coming. Or she is fucking with alpha males and find out she is just getting used and if she is smart she will find the pattern of dump and dump. The older they get the more they will settle for a beta provider male. As a guy you should see through this scheme and chose your own destiny: get a good deal by being proactive! 

 

Actually women tend to get more selective as they get older. Young women generally have much lower standards for what they’ll accept in a partner. They tend to have less of a grasp on their boundaries. This is why they end up falling for low quality guys. 

But what you call a “beta male provider” is also what I call a higher quality man. That’s a man who has his life together who is good husband material. A man you can actually connect to. 

So, what you see as a lowering of standards, women see as a raising of standards. 

The older women get, the more they tend to become disenchanted with unreliable and flighty men. It’s novel when you’re 16-20 but very blah after that.

Edited May 29, 2021 by Emerald

[StarStruck]

@Emerald it depends on what the girl is looking for: one night stand or long term relationship. Girls don't have one night stands with beta provider guys if they are not fun and don't let her juices flowing. 

[Hardkill]

17 hours ago, Emerald said:

Actually women tend to get more selective as they get older. Young women generally have much lower standards for what they’ll accept in a partner. They tend to have less of a grasp on their boundaries. This is why they end up falling for low quality guys. 

But what you call a “beta male provider” is also what I call a higher quality man. That’s a man who has his life together who is good husband material. A man you can actually connect to. 

So, what you see as a lowering of standards, women see as a raising of standards. 

The older women get, the more they tend to become disenchanted with unreliable and flighty men. It’s novel when you’re 16-20 but very blah after that.

I don't think it's easier for guys to seduce younger girls just because they have these much lower standards and boundaries for what they’ll accept in a partner. In fact, I think that the younger girls tend to be a bit harder because those girls are generally at their peak sexual market value and generally tend to get to get more attention and more desire from men compared to older women. 

[Harlen Kelly]

On 5/29/2021 at 0:08 AM, Emerald said:

Actually women tend to get more selective as they get older. Young women generally have much lower standards for what they’ll accept in a partner. They tend to have less of a grasp on their boundaries. This is why they end up falling for low quality guys. 

But what you call a “beta male provider” is also what I call a higher quality man. That’s a man who has his life together who is good husband material. A man you can actually connect to. 

So, what you see as a lowering of standards, women see as a raising of standards. 

The older women get, the more they tend to become disenchanted with unreliable and flighty men. It’s novel when you’re 16-20 but very blah after that.

Older women are less attractive to men, particularly for the very successful top 10% men, therefore they have less options. 

They have a smaller range of men to choose from because they are overall less desirable for the vast majority of men, therefore, they are less selective. They might apply selectiveness more rigorously with the options they do have due to experience and maturity. 

By definition the quality of man older women can attract is significantly lower than the quality of man a youthful, attractive woman can attract because the most prominent attraction trigger for the vast majority of men (particularly men with access to attractive women) is looks and younger women tend to look better than older women. 

To believe otherwise is denial and deception. 

 

Edited May 30, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Etherial Cat]

16 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I don't think it's easier for guys to seduce younger girls just because they have these much lower standards and boundaries for what they’ll accept in a partner. In fact, I think that the younger girls tend to be a bit harder because those girls are generally at their peak sexual market value and generally tend to get to get more attention and more desire from men compared to older women. 

Quality men do not see women as mere youthful, beautiful bodies to fuck. ?

Surely, very young women (Emerald was talking 16-20 years old?!) tend to have beauty on their side, but a grown man has nothing in common with them.

Decency commands even to refuse to engage romantically with young females until they reach a certain form of maturity.

11 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Older women are less attractive to men, particularly for the very successful top 10% men, therefore they have less options. 

They have a smaller range of men to choose from because they are overall less desirable for the vast majority of men, therefore, they are less selective. They might apply selectiveness more rigorously with the options they do have due to experience and maturity. 

By definition the quality of man older women can attract is significantly lower than the quality of man a youthful, attractive woman can attract because the most prominent attraction trigger for the vast majority of men (particularly men with access to attractive women) is looks and younger women tend to look better than older women. 

To believe otherwise is denial and deception. 

 

Success and quality are relative notions.

The point is that what you perceive as a desirable successful man can be totally undesirable to someone else. Or someone who you perceive as low quality can be of higher quality to another person.

For instance, to me a quality man is mature to the point he is not seeing a freshly minted adult as a potential partner. And that's because he's at a different place in his life and enjoys someone who has enough maturity to share with him perspectives and experiences. 

Also a quality man to me would be the type of guy who would be protective and non-predatory to young women. He's not the type that would think of them as some sort of living sex dolls. 

As I have matured, I have been less and less prone to equal a man's worth with outside achievements, and to favor instead his ability for emotional and intellectual intimacy as the primary driver. And the men I judge as interesting have the same pattern. They look for a partner they resonate with. 

It is true that men who chose women for their sexual value tend to lose interest as women grows older, but women lose interest in these men too. So the attraction potentially falls from both side.

So it's not that women who grows older are sobbing at losing the 10% Chad squad, and are finally lowering finally their standard because they lose value. This narrative if anything seems to emanate from people who are resentful towards women and enjoy a potential downfall of the pedestal from the almighty picky bitches and laugh at a potential punishment and situation reversal.

What happens is that women are looking for men able to love them and that with experience, we are better able to see what a man's real affection is like. And this means loving all part of the female experience and of this woman's subjectivity. Courting a 22 years old Taylor Hill is easy. But Taylor Hill is more than a body and youthful model, she's a person and being youthful is just a state. If someone's love is contingent on these features, his love is uninteresting as the element in which it is anchored is transient.

 

Edited May 30, 2021 by Etherial Cat

[Harlen Kelly]

24 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Quality men do not see women as mere youthful, beautiful bodies to fuck. ?

Surely, very young women (Emerald was talking 16-20 years old?!) tend to have beauty on their side, but a grown man has nothing in common with them.

Decency commands even to refuse to engage romantically with young females until they reach a certain form of maturity.

The point is that what you perceive as a desirable successful man can be totally undesirable to someone else. Or someone who you perceive as low quality can be of higher quality to another person.

For instance, to me a quality man is mature to the point he is not seeing a freshly minted adult as a potential partner. And that's because he's at a different place in his life and enjoys someone who has enough maturity to share with him perspectives and experiences. 

Also a quality man to me would be the type of guy who would be protective and non-predatory to young women. He's not the type that would think of them as some sort of living sex dolls. 

By the way, I was referring specifically to attractiveness, I was not talking about the value of an older or younger woman since value is a very idiosyncratic and subjective notion.

Question

1 - Do you think that most men (including conscious men who have practiced spirituality for a significant amount of time) experience attraction primarily for youthful, attractive women? Is that a truthful statement for you?

2 - Is attraction for youthful, attractive women inherently predatory or ''evil''?

Edited May 30, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Etherial Cat]

1 hour ago, Harlen Kelly said:

By the way, I was referring specifically to attractiveness, I was not talking about the value of an older or younger woman since value is a very idiosyncratic and subjective notion.

Question

1 - Do you think that most men (including conscious men who have practiced spirituality for a significant amount of time) experience attraction primarily for youthful, attractive women? Is that a truthful statement for you?

It depends what you mean by primarily attraction?

In terms of appearance, I would say that it is safe to say that humans are attracted to health in general and youthful attractive women certainly look the healthiest and the best physically. 

But if you are talking about attraction in the broader sense, conscious men are primarily attracted to conscious women. And what happens is that young women while being physically attractive are significantly less conscious. And generally speaking, I would say that conscious men are able to see beauty in the not so perfect (like in wabi-sabi) and appreciate the wisdom and knowledge of self an older woman can have.

1 hour ago, Harlen Kelly said:

2 - Is attraction for youthful, attractive women inherently predatory or ''evil''?

No. The problem is when the youth and the attractiveness becomes the primary/sole reason for the attraction. This would be some sort of fetishization. 

Also, recently I've been finding myself more and more attracted to maturity. While I appreciate and love young people, I'm thinking more and more that youth is a liability in term of relationship material (inexperience, a sad gradual loss of innocence, immaturity).  The two comes together. Youth is physically attractive, but an annoying rather undesirable state on the personal level. 

[Emerald]

19 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I don't think it's easier for guys to seduce younger girls just because they have these much lower standards and boundaries for what they’ll accept in a partner. In fact, I think that the younger girls tend to be a bit harder because those girls are generally at their peak sexual market value and generally tend to get to get more attention and more desire from men compared to older women. 

That’s just not true. Women learn a lot about men in their first decade of adulthood that they don’t realize when they’re young.

And they grow disenchanted with just any guy because the chad/sexual conquester type of guy doesn’t fulfill what women are really looking for, which is intimacy and love.

It often takes women a while to understand the difference between a high quality partner and a low quality partner. And this lesson is often learned the hard way. 

So, even though younger women are sought after more often than older women, they tend to have much lower standards than older women who actually know what they want/need and have been around the block a time or two.

But men often project less openness and more pickiness onto younger women because they represent a cultural ideal of feminine beauty and are an ideal projection screen for male insecurity.

So, a man might feel that the younger woman is pickier simply because he feels intimidated by her. But this is a feeling not an objective truth.

The more learned a woman becomes, the more selective she becomes. 

I gave chances to men at age 20 that I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole now at age 32. And my taste at 16 was even worse.

[Roy]

20 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I don't think it's easier for guys to seduce younger girls just because they have these much lower standards and boundaries for what they’ll accept in a partner. In fact, I think that the younger girls tend to be a bit harder because those girls are generally at their peak sexual market value and generally tend to get to get more attention and more desire from men compared to older women. 

Younger girls (as with any younger person regardless of gender) are generally easier to seduce because they can be naïve, inexperienced, and willing project a lot of authority onto a man that's older than them, expecting him to be a mature, stable protector/provider.

Of course this is during the seduction phase so they have no idea who he actually is. The guy could be 5-10 years older than her but be less emotionally mature, he just puts on a good game and knows how to attract her.

Consider that it's extremely common to see couples where the male is the older one in the relationship, while the opposite case is quite rare. I'm curious about the statistics behind this, I'm sure they match the general intuition people should have.

It's kind of ironic how this works out biologically, because women have longer life spans and usually are the ones who end up widowed, so you'd think this would balance itself out more with the age gaps.

[Harlen Kelly]

2 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

It depends what you mean by primarily attraction?

In terms of appearance, I would say that it is safe to say that humans are attracted to health in general and youthful attractive women certainly look the healthiest and the best physically. 

But if you are talking about attraction in the broader sense, conscious men are primarily attracted to conscious women. And what happens is that young women while being physically attractive are significantly less conscious. And generally speaking, I would say that conscious men are able to see beauty in the not so perfect (like in wabi-sabi) and appreciate the wisdom and knowledge of self an older woman can have.

No. The problem is when the youth and the attractiveness becomes the primary/sole reason for the attraction. This would be some sort of fetishization. 

Also, recently I've been finding myself more and more attracted to maturity. While I appreciate and love young people, I'm thinking more and more that youth is a liability in term of relationship material (inexperience, a sad gradual loss of innocence, immaturity).  The two comes together. Youth is physically attractive, but an annoying rather undesirable state on the personal level. 

By attraction I meant physical attraction, I am not talking about the inherent beauty of people or objects that transcends their physical appearance, I am talking specifically about the desire to have sexual relationships with somebody that is elicited automatically and instantaneously in the case of men. 

You are confusing they way you get attracted to men with the way men get attracted to women. The level of ''maturity'' of a woman is not the primary trigger of attraction for men, what most men are attracted to physically (including conscious men) is the looks of the woman, that accounts for most of the attraction. 

That obviously does not mean that the maturity and level of development of the woman is not important, but those variables alone DO NOT elicit attraction in men because as I said attraction is elicited automatically and instantaneously in men by the looks of the woman.

Youth and attractiveness is and will always be (at least in our lifetime) the main attraction trigger of men (including conscious men) because that is how attraction works for men (which I honestly thought that a woman your age should've figured this out by now). 

There are more attraction triggers but appearance is undoubtedly the main one for most men.

If you sit and meditate for 10,000 hours, the sensation of hunger does not disappear just because you became more conscious, analogously, just because you become very conscious and developed psychologically does not mean that a perfectly voluminous pair of tits of a 20-year-old will not elicit attraction on you. Why? Because attraction for men happens automatically, instantaneously, and visually. Would a very conscious person get with an immature and hot 20 year old? That's another story but the hot 20 year old will for sure and 100% certainty -- ELICIT/TRIGGER -- attraction on most men.

Edited May 30, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Emerald]

15 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Older women are less attractive to men, particularly for the very successful top 10% men, therefore they have less options. 

They have a smaller range of men to choose from because they are overall less desirable for the vast majority of men, therefore, they are less selective. They might apply selectiveness more rigorously with the options they do have due to experience and maturity. 

By definition the quality of man older women can attract is significantly lower than the quality of man a youthful, attractive woman can attract because the most prominent attraction trigger for the vast majority of men (particularly men with access to attractive women) is looks and younger women tend to look better than older women. 

To believe otherwise is denial and deception. 

Yes, older women are generally less attractive to men. But women still become more selective as they age as they get clearer on what they need in a relationship to feel fulfilled.

But your top 10% idea and who fits into that 10% usually doesn’t resonate with women. That’s more of what men think is positive based on their own biases and not what is actually fulfilling for women... which is a man who is emotionally mature and stable.

And keep in mind that older women have all been younger women before. They know how a woman’s youth and beauty are often sought after in exploitative ways by low quality men. They have many experiences with this to draw upon.

So, they have a keener system for filtering these men out, and they also attract fewer of these men.

Also, men who solely seek out much younger women are just not high quality men. They’re usually just looking for sex or arm candy. If a man is 35 and seeking out 20 year olds to sleep with, he’s a liability. 

If a man is unable to feel love and attraction to a woman as she ages, then he is not good husband material. And the woman with such a man will always be replaced by a younger model.

This is why it’s a bit more difficult for older women to find a partner. Most mature men are already taken because they married young. And the bachelor-for-life types are low quality.

So, slimmer pickings because most ACTUAL high quality men are already taken but also higher selectivity because they know what they want/need and they know what a high quality man actually looks like. And an unwillingness to get with low quality fuck boys because they can’t give her what she needs.

And it can be a dilemma.

But it’s not really a dilemma for her that ‘Oh no! fuck boys are slightly less interested in having one-night stands with me.’ It’s more the dilemma of ‘Jeez. There are no decent single men my age.’

[Emerald]

6 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

By attraction I meant physical attraction, I am not talking about the inherent beauty of people or objects that transcends their physical appearance, I am talking specifically about the desire to have sexual relationships with somebody that is elicited automatically and instantaneously in the case of men. 

You are confusing they way you get attracted to men with the way men get attracted to women.  

No, we’re not confusing how we get attracted to men with how men get attracted to women.

We’re talking about how older women get attracted to men. That’s what the post is about.

It isn’t about general male preference.

It’s about the type of man that older women find suitable of time and attention and how much more chaff she will know to sort once she actually knows what wheat looks like. 

This is about our biases, not yours. 

While all men will be attracted to youth and beauty, high quality men will not feel compelled to seek relationship purely on this basis. He will be concerned for the well-being of much younger women who just came of age, even if he recognizes their attractiveness. 

A high quality and mature man will be concerned with far more than sexual attraction. His relationship choices will be based on a desire to have intimacy, go deep, and find long term companionship.

That’s what a high quality man is to all women, young and old. It’s just that very young women usually haven’t discovered this yet and usually won’t until their late 20s or so.