Working on myself

[Megan Alecia]

Aka the eternal existential journey

Edited May 6, 2021 by Megan Alecia
Closed journal.

[Megan Alecia]

Modern life:

Melbourne

Stockholm

Apropos the culture of a given society (Melbourne and Stockholm both belonging to countries with progressive cultures).

Exploring the components of (my) adult life (in the future/and how my current situation is connected to it)

• Gender

I'm mtf trans. I'm a feminine being (spiritually if you will), and enjoy femininity at large. So yeah.

• Relationships

It depends on the guy, and whether we have chemistry or not. (animal attraction if you will, haha.)

• Career/money

100,00 dollars... for doing what I love? This is my dream career. Well, basically just being able to do what I love (which is to learn, also to share my thoughts and insight to people), and to not have anyone (from above) handing down orders to me.

• Diet

Beef, fried chicken, salads, coffee, fruits, milk, pancakes, egg, sausages/bacon, ketchup, other sauces.

• Personal aspirations (achievements, self-esteem, accomplishment of goals and dreams)

A nice apartment in Melbourne/Stockholm, with nature and grasses, cows and stuff (quite a paradox isn't it). Achievement/s: to have an impact on culture with my work. To have my work reach people.

• Desires (on an individual and day-to-day level)
• Personal development
• Self-realization

Gurdjieff and Jung and what have you

• Joy in the everyday
• Existence and mortality

Culture shapes us for real. And on a (not so) subconscious level we realize that, given the tribal species that we are.

Edited May 6, 2021 by Megan Alecia

[Megan Alecia]

Main value: freedom

Flaws: 

I don't know myself

I'm not courageous enough (for what?)

"Abnormal reaction to abnormal behavior is a normal reaction" (paraphrased) - Viktor Frankl

I still have anxiety

Desires:

A simple quiet life

Rewarding and intellectually stimulating work (knowledge, creativity, the human condition)

Purpose (to feel better? To feel solidity in me)

Femininity (soap, perfume, clothing, men)

That's all for now

[Megan Alecia]

"It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle."

-- Sun-Tzu

"Understand: people will constantly attack you in life. One of their main weapons will be to instill in you doubts about yourself – your worth, your abilities, your potential. They will often disguise this as their objective opinion, but invariably it has a political purpose – they want to keep you down."

-- Robert Greene

[Megan Alecia]

Shot myself in the foot WHEN: 

Jesus I wish I can take back my best insights that I've written here and turn them into a book/some kind of work

But like it's also kinda obsolete.... repeating old stuff always feels like that for some reason.

Edited May 11, 2021 by Megan Alecia

[Eternal Unity]

@Megan Alecia Lynyrd Skynyrd Rocks!

[Megan Alecia]

@Eternal Unity Can you take down the comment? This is a closed journal.