I started having sex dreams with men, what does it mean?

[diamondpenguin]

Its perfectly normal to have homosexual desires. The only problem is when you deny or suppress them.  Go have sex with a guy and see if this is for real. If you dont like it, then stick with women. If you do like it, then you found another way to enjoy life. 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, diamondpenguin said:

Its perfectly normal to have homosexual desires. The only problem is when you deny or suppress them.  Go have sex with a guy and see if this is for real. If you dont like it, then stick with women. If you do like it, then you found another way to enjoy life. 

How long did it take for you to overcome that?

 

[blackchair]

go try it. just a simple kiss with a man will reveal a lot.

[Consept]

In my opinion it seems like you want to be understood, maybe you thought this could be with someone youre sexually attracted to but it hasnt happened and so possibly something in you thinks that maybe someone of your own gender would be able to understand you. We all have this craving to be understood btw, but it just doesnt happen most of the time, its hard enough understanding yourself let alone someone else. It also can be a completely separate thing so you can be sexually attracted to someone and have a great relationship and not feel that youre understood and in theory you could be understood and not have a sexual relationship with that person. 

But in general i dont think you should set that criteria for relationships, i just dont think youll ever get that feeling of being understood, maybe you think men will do a better job but it still most likely, wont be what you expect.

[diamondpenguin]

11 hours ago, Preety_India said:

How long did it take for you to overcome that?

 

6 years. I first started having sexual urges for guys when I was 13. I never really accepted it till about 19. I slept with a few dudes in that time, but I thought the whole time growing up that I was straight and it was just some one off thing, like my homosexual desires will go away when I get older and fuck a few dudes. But no, they only have gotten stronger as I've gotten older. But I love it, it's great. Hbu, have you ever had any attraction to women? 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, diamondpenguin said:

6 years. I first started having sexual urges for guys when I was 13. I never really accepted it till about 19. I slept with a few dudes in that time, but I thought the whole time growing up that I was straight and it was just some one off thing, like my homosexual desires will go away when I get older and fuck a few dudes. But no, they only have gotten stronger as I've gotten older. But I love it, it's great. Hbu, have you ever had any attraction to women? 

I'm completely straight. Heterosexual. Never ever had such an urge at all. 

I'm surprised how brain chemistry works. 

 

[diamondpenguin]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I'm completely straight. Heterosexual. Never ever had such an urge at all. 

I'm surprised how brain chemistry works. 

 

Very interesting. On the dream level its brain chemistry, but on the ultimate big picture, its all a manifestation of infinite love in form. It's all consciousness loving itself at the end of the day. 

[Preety_India]

Just now, diamondpenguin said:

Very interesting. On the dream level its brain chemistry, but on the ultimate big picture, its all a manifestation of infinite love in form. It's all consciousness loving itself at the end of the day. 

Yea.  Brain chemistry is quite interesting . Funny how it dictates a lot of our life decisions. 

 

[Forestluv]

20 hours ago, Opo said:

Could you elaborate? 

I know masculine and feminine is one dimension but idn about others. 

Another dimension would be various forms of sexuality / intimacy.

For example, about 5% of men have qualities I find attractive, yet not in a friend way. It is an intimate form of attraction that overlaps with sexuality, yet I don’t feel the desire to have sexual intercourse with him. Yet that changes if a certain quality of femininity is added in. Not a gay male form of feminine, more like a transgender form of feminine. 

[fopylo]

That might sound very weird and disturbing to some people but I'm going to be honest - I am attracted to women more than men in real life, but I'm more attracted to anime males more than anime women (I think they look better).

Please, what does this mean about me??

[Osaid]

21 minutes ago, fopylo said:

That might sound very weird and disturbing to some people but I'm going to be honest - I am attracted to women more than men in real life, but I'm more attracted to anime males more than anime women (I think they look better).

I wouldn't overthink it. Anime characters can have certain features that are impossible to emulate in real life, or features that are extra feminine that are in men. You might have somehow become attracted to those features. Sexual attraction can be nuanced like this. Someone can make an anime character that looks a lot like a girl and label it as a "man", it's not as binary as some people think. There is not gonna be some specific label or gender to help define you here.

26 minutes ago, fopylo said:

Please, what does this mean about me??

You might wanna take a break from porn or masturbation and see what happens, maybe you are too caught up in sexual fantasies. Otherwise, I'm not sure what it really means, or if it is necessarily bad.

[integral]

On 5/7/2021 at 1:15 PM, Consept said:

In my opinion it seems like you want to be understood, maybe you thought this could be with someone youre sexually attracted to but it hasnt happened and so possibly something in you thinks that maybe someone of your own gender would be able to understand you. We all have this craving to be understood btw, but it just doesnt happen most of the time, its hard enough understanding yourself let alone someone else. It also can be a completely separate thing so you can be sexually attracted to someone and have a great relationship and not feel that youre understood and in theory you could be understood and not have a sexual relationship with that person. 

But in general i dont think you should set that criteria for relationships, i just dont think youll ever get that feeling of being understood, maybe you think men will do a better job but it still most likely, wont be what you expect.

Thought about this more, it seems this is the case, going abit deeper the exact issue i thing is being with someone who is non-judging. The ideal partner can see the larger patterns of how life unfolds and lives by the flow it. Being flow.  Dating down the spiral feels like baby sitting.

Edited May 10, 2021 by integral

[fopylo]

@Osaid 

On 5/9/2021 at 5:16 PM, Osaid said:

I wouldn't overthink it. Anime characters can have certain features that are impossible to emulate in real life, or features that are extra feminine that are in men. You might have somehow become attracted to those features. Sexual attraction can be nuanced like this. Someone can make an anime character that looks a lot like a girl and label it as a "man", it's not as binary as some people think. There is not gonna be some specific label or gender to help define you here.

I am attracted to some male anime characters, mostly from their looks. If what you say is true, then does it mean that sexual attraction is being attracted by some features and they can be emulated on a man?
I also like anime women (not so much though) but I find that the attractive males are way more attracting than the women. Ironically, I feel disgusted thinking about men in real life
 

On 5/9/2021 at 5:16 PM, Osaid said:

You might wanna take a break from porn or masturbation and see what happens, maybe you are too caught up in sexual fantasies. Otherwise, I'm not sure what it really means, or if it is necessarily bad.

I haven't watched porn in more than 6 months and I'm on nofap over 190 days (not trying to show off, but telling you that my head is surely not consumed with sex fantasies. This is what enabled me the most to focus my energy on this journey).
But yeah, taking a break and going nofap helped me manage my sexual urges better and I find myself more attracted to things and more honest with myself.
I'm not sitting and jerking off to it lmao

[Osaid]

On 5/10/2021 at 11:25 AM, fopylo said:

If what you say is true, then does it mean that sexual attraction is being attracted by some features and they can be emulated on a man?

"Man" in this scenario refers to an animated character, not an actual man. I'm saying that you somehow became attracted to features that don't exist in real life, because as you said you don't like real life men, so there is something in the animated character that is attractive which you can't find in real life men.

 

[Emerald]

On 5/6/2021 at 3:51 PM, integral said:

@EddieEddie1995 haha just realized my post is basically a gay mans wet dream come true. "Straight best friend wants to experiment and he loves it" fantasies.  

So i did some exploration, turns out gay porn is not appealing, i think what is attracting me is the intimacy of being with a man i connect with. This is arousing. Maybe there is a kind of deeper connection that only men can have with each other that a hetor pairing cant? Maybe im looking for deeper connection with a woman and feel i cant find it so the mind is wondering else where. All relationships with women have been one sided because im more vertically developed then they are, its me adapting and catering to there needs, they dont understand me. 

If you feel unable to achieve intimacy with a woman despite being attracted to women, it could be because you have a disconnect with your feminine side and are thus projecting certain things from your disintegrated feminine side onto women.

This will create a sense of one-sidedness and hostility. So, perhaps your drive toward intimacy with women is being blocked and thus only can come out through fantasizing about a connection with a man... despite being less attracted to men. 

[SageModeAustin]

On 5/12/2021 at 7:58 PM, Emerald said:

If you feel unable to achieve intimacy with a woman despite being attracted to women, it could be because you have a disconnect with your feminine side and are thus projecting certain things from your disintegrated feminine side onto women.

This will create a sense of one-sidedness and hostility. So, perhaps your drive toward intimacy with women is being blocked and thus only can come out through fantasizing about a connection with a man... despite being less attracted to men. 

so the solution is to embrace my feminine nature more? i consider myself more on the feminine side, but tried being hyper masculine in the past and got unsatisfying results with it. but even now as i embrace my feminine nature more i feel its more authentic, but sometimees i still have that feeling i have to be the stereotypical alpha dood its kinda annoying 

[Agoy]

@SageModeAustin dude be authentic always!

embracing your feminine side is the most masculine thing you can do because true masculinity is irrevocable self-love

'trying to be alpha' isn't masculine at all because it comes from insecurity