Why are people attracted to jerks?

[Preety_India]

I'm not talking about romantic attraction

Just in a general sense in terms of self actualization. 

Ive often made this observation that when you are rude and strict and a bit dickish with people (read Narcissist ) they tend to respect you and value you much more. 

Whereas if you were being humble, nice and pleasant, they give you zero value and treat you like shit. 

It's almost as if you want to earn the respect of maximum people, you have to be this egotistical egomaniac narcissist and only then you're taken seriously. 

Why can't people see that such behaviors are deeply rooted in ego and ego stroking and there is no humility there?

Why does humility sell so cheap?

 

[Roy]

Jerks usually radiate confidence and competence. The ego likes where a jerk will lead them and what they will provide.

They don't care if they are nice or not, they just want results.

[Wyeth]

5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Ive often made this observation that when you are rude and strict and a bit dickish with people (read Narcissist ) they tend to respect you and value you much more. 

Confidence is deceiving. If you act like you know your shit, most people won't question you. 

[Zeroguy]

Because we are capable and we want to create something. 

women, because they can actually expect (and will get) to get nailed. 

All actual. 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Zeroguy]

Sound very blunt but very simple questions. 

What atributes you need to lead and deal with variety of different people with all of their shit? 

Also whom woman or girl would see as someone who will fuck her good? 

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Preety_India]

@Zeroguy this is not about romance. 

 

[Megan Alecia]

"Trump received over 73 million votes in the 2020 election, giving him more than any other sitting president in U.S. history."

Psychopaths play out people's fantasies irl (usually of inappropriate or even antisocial nature), and that's why they can indeed be attracted to them. (although Trump was a malignant narcissist himself- grandiose, defiant, obsessed with delusions of omnipotence, and a pathological liar.)

--

"Many people look at the Joker and see the unbridled chaos of the id, and this is attractive to them. Now, this does not mean that people are looking at Joker and are envious of him as a murderer; it just means the id within is attracted to the idea of pure passion and unbridled chaos of emotions and action." -- Byron Lafayette, journalist

We human beings instinctively know that although the unconscious is undoubtedly primitive and antisocial and can be heartless, it is very powerful.

Edited May 6, 2021 by Megan Alecia

[Zeroguy]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Zeroguy this is not about romance. 

 

Same rules apply. 

Woman is a follower same as most people. 

Why these guys cry are clingy, needy etc because in every aspect of their lifes are exactly like that. Most people are like that. So you have majority of guys and almost all women. 

[Hulia]

5 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Why can't people see that such behaviors are deeply rooted in ego and ego stroking and there is no humility there?

It depends. You are over-simplifying, Preety. Some rude people are arseholes, some - not. It depends on the person. Rudeness is just a temperament, not goodness or badness in itself.

[Zeroguy]

Sometimes you really need and have to be rude. Nothing wrong with it. 

Any of you guys had it's own business and had your own workers or dealt with large/small group of people? 

Can't wait for not all women are followers response. 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Leo Gura]

Because survival requires being a jerk sometimes. And mostly all you care about is survival so you like people who are capable of what you care about most.

But also don't get it lopsided. As much as people love jerks, they love sweetness even more. Which is why gurus and cults fool you the most with sweetness and love bombing.

In the end what you're most attracted to is Love. Which is why love is the most alluring bait in a trap.

[Hulia]

Actually we should be attracted or pushed off by the content not by the form. But it would involve thinking. We are too busy and too lazy for this type of activity  We want to throw a quick glance and to know the score and move further 

[LastThursday]

6 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Ive often made this observation that when you are rude and strict and a bit dickish with people (read Narcissist ) they tend to respect you and value you much more. 

You mean when some people "parent" others? It's because most people are simply grown up children, and respond well to being treated like a child. 

[Zeroguy]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because survival requires being a jerk sometimes. And mostly all you care about is survival so you like people who are capable of what you care about most.

Exactly. Words of wisdom. 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

You mean when some people "parent" others? It's because most people are simply grown up children, and respond well to being treated like a child. 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

You mean when some people "parent" others? It's because most people are simply grown up children, and respond well to being treated like a child. 

 

I think I didn't word it correctly.  What I meant is people who are very egotistical and show some pride like fake pride. 

For example, (just don't take it in a girl guy context ),  let's say some guy texts me on here, and I instantly reply to me very politely, lovingly and kindly, next time he would be very abrupt and even rude with me, as though taking my kindness for granted. 

Like I'm not an important person and treat me harshly. Taken for granted would be the right phrase. 

Now if the same guy texted me in the second scenario and If I ignored him or replied rudely or abruptly or acted like I'm too important, he would be a bit careful with me, even giving a more privileged or preferential treatment, wondering that I must be special if I am being so egotistical. He would even compliment me and want to be friends 

This situation also happens between people of the same gender. It's irrespective of gender or culture

I find such attitude very cheap because it tends to discourage kindness and humility and treats it like weakness or something to be taken for granted. 

It supports narcissism because it gives value to people who attract power, act egotistical and special and tend to look down on others. Such people unfortunately garner more respect despite their fake pride and hostility 

 

 

[Zeroguy]

@Preety_India When are you going to take your life back in your own hands, finally? 

It's not really about "them" it's about you and only you. 

When  will you grow up? 

Honestly who gives a shit how they behaive towards you. 

Make sthg out of yourself. 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Zeroguy]

@Preety_India Also when "me, me, meing" stops? 

Cry as much as you want, react in every way but come back and actually do sthg. 

Stop with constant philosophizing and thinking, all of you. 

Actually do stuff. Whatever it is. 

Why this or that, blah blah blah. 

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[StarStruck]

Being an asshole/being nice is surface level. People use it as a mask to get what they want. Both sides of the spectrum can be used as a strategy to get what one want.

In some areas of life or in some countries it requires to be nice to be successful so people are nice(like in business). In other countries or areas life it is not so good to be nice (like in pickup).

I use both and I recently cut the bullshit about "I'm nice". It goes deeper than that. Nicying your way in life as a philosophy doesn't work. Sometimes you just have to be a raging dick.

Edited May 6, 2021 by StarStruck

[Proserpina]

@Zeroguy zero why do you keep attacking this poor girl?