Absolutely awful

[Preety_India]

Not in a good mood. 

[Preety_India]

Want to keep a mood tracker

This forum always puts me in a bad mood these days. 

 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

So yea, the saga of the bad mood shwing continues. It's like what,,, huh??? Day 6 

 

It's may 6,  and same feeling of anger washing over me 

I want to scream at the top of my lungs 

 

Am I a ragdoll????????????

I feel drunk right now. And a drunk man (woman ) always speaks the truth. 

I said I feel drunk right now... I did not say I'm drunk... Do you even understand the difference??

I'm so exhausted and fed up... 

Fed up of people trying to stir shit up. 

Storm in a tea cup 

 

I guess living in a First world country must be a nice treat. 

Live in a third world country for a day. Come come come. I'll show you. I will show how people live. 

You wanna feel sorry for me???

 

[Preety_India]

I'm done.  

What do you not understand?

I said I'm done being fucked over. 

I have resentment now 

 

I behave like an elephant. You know how they behave?

They remember each and everything that was done to them.. 

They have a grudge memory. You do one bad thing to an elephant, they will remember it for the rest of their lives. 

This is my subconscious speaking. 

 

All the bullying that I suffered is lodged in my subconscious. I ain't forgetting anything. 

You do one bad thing to me and I'll remember it down to every minute detail 

I always remember what bad thing a person did to me. 

And I'm fiercely loyal. 

You shouldn't go by my words. 

You don't betray someone like me. 

I might appear light hearted, and cordial and all that. But I have a deep spirit  a strong soul 

I don't need a brain and a heart. My soul is enough 

Even if I die, my soul will remain alive. 

Once I detect that something is amiss, my elephant mode is activated. Think of a mad raging elephant.  I go on a rampage. 

That's why elephants are important for me. They resemble me.  Not in size.  I'm just a 5 feet 6 in petite woman. I can't do shit physically. But I can do a lot of shit spiritually. 

Don't provoke the elephant. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Anybody who will defend me will need to be extraordinarily strong and brave person 

Most people aren't like that. 

But anyone who defends me will have to be a righteous and brave person. 

Life experiences have taught me that only those exact people defended me in every bad situation 

When an innocent person finds themselves in trouble, only a brave person rescues them 

 

I can write this in stone - that whenever I'm stuck in something bad, God will come like a lightning bolt and save me. 

In Hinduism we have a saying that goes like this 

Jaaki rakhe  sai maar sake naa koi

 

Which translates as

 

 no force in this world can  destroy the one who is protected by God. 

 

The force of God comes into good people and assigns them the task of rescuing the innocent. 

Good people in this world function as saviors and angels. 

When good people vanish from this planet, this world will become a very poor and dark place. 

Mark my words 

 

The spirits that remain loyal to us are eternal. 

Seek God before it's too late

 

No good has ever come out of evil manipulations

 

Bow before the almighty God or face his wrath 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm the now or never, all or nothing kind of a person. 

Once  I develop a strong form of resentment, all bets are off 

 

The game is up. 

My mind will begin to operate like a helicopter. It will search for everything that can be potentially threatening. 

My mind turns into a scanner.  Scanning every little thing. I go into  state of hyper awareness. 

I don't go back from there. Everything suddenly becomes very strict. 

I keep a note of every little thing. 

My mind starts registering things at a very fast speed. I almost turn into a monster. 

Once the threshold is crossed, it's crossed. 

 

[Preety_India]

Never tell a guy here that you're in love with them, it backfires very badly. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Just hate everything here and forgot to log out as usual 

 

[Preety_India]

Just stop talking to everyone that's it.. It again looks like the same damn place that I came from.. 

[Preety_India]

 

please no comments on this journal. 

 

please respect others requests. 

 

[Preety_India]

My trust on this forum has dropped from 70% to like 6%. 

I feel like everyone here is always wanting to fight. 

So the best option is to be completely out of it. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm not journaling here for people to enjoy my writing. 

I'm here to do my own journaling haha. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm not the kind of person who goes around praising some people while shading others. 

I just don't do all that crap. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

And don't tell me that you (and I mean you who is reading this ) secretly don't read my journal entries because you do,  or else why do the views go up. 

So you're interested in my stuff right?

I don't care. If you don't like me, you could tell me straight up front. I don't mind. I have dealt with all these puny games before, it's nothing new. 

 

[Preety_India]

Right now somebody wants me to take a bait. 

But I won't. 

 

 

Haha. 

 

The lengths to which people go in trying to humiliate and troll someone. 

 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

I don't like being TOLD