Share your most profound spiritual/pscyhological transformations

[tatsumaru]

Let's share some spiritual before/afters to see how far we've come.
I will start with my own milestones:

1. Met a spiritual friend who taught me the difference between direct experience and belief. It put the start of an excruciating spiritual journey of dissolving myself in order to rebuild myself again from experience.

2. Went to a Zen Master in India for a 40 day Satsang, I was shown what awareness means, as a result my anxiety disorder dissolved permanently.

3. Gained a significant understanding of the spiral dynamics model and systems thinking paradigm. As a result I understood what makes people different and how to recognize admirable friends and build complex value systems.

4. Read a book about I Ching and realized this is a universe of feeling not things, as a result I realized the conceptual was a parallel dimension that was not really real and started to embrace wholeness and apply musical theory to explain this reality (harmony, resonance, octaves, thresholds etc.) This dissolved multiple philosophical paradoxes caused by deficient paradigms.

5. Today.

 

What I have achieved so far: Dissolved an anxiety disorder, gained massive amount of direct experience wisdom, became able of complex coordination and system building, transitioned from INTP to INFP.

What I have yet to achieve: Still have no clue what the fuck is going on, Dealing with self-hate and self-esteem issues, Don't have any super powers yet, Haven't found a way to address my health issues yet.

Cheers.

 

 

Edited May 5, 2021 by tatsumaru

[BipolarGrowth]

Why do you want INFJ? I’m ENFP, so of course P is the only correct answer... 

So, we have noob-tier I am God (18 yr old):

I Am God

Second God Consciousness awakening (no video of first) (23 yr old):

Manic Stories Ep.  #1 - Becoming God (Awakening to God Consciousness)

God Consciousness + Infinite Freedom (24 yr old):

13 Tabs of LSD - Mapping Consciousness #2

Belief tier (regression & ego-backlash to radical nature of awakening) I/we am/are God after God Consciousness awakening (24 yr old): 

Explaining How You Are God

Healthy Integration & Acceptance of God Consciousness awakenings (25 yr old) (skip to roughly 35 mins in unless you want stage orange/green foundational context about me): 

Update on My Life Goals & Progress + The Most Important Ideas I Could Possibly Share (Spirituality)

Watch the other 200+ videos for a small part of the big picture ?

[Surfingthewave]

@tatsumaru Thanks for sharing your story so far, what a journey you've been on. 

Go read peoples journals to check out more amazing stories of transformations. There are some real gems there. 

My story:

Suffering 

13 years of deep self development work (on/off ramped up in the last five) including meditation

Non suffering/bliss states/mystical experiences/

Your story is a good example of going meta, but perhaps too soon? You mentioned still struggling with self esteem issues and health issues. 

I think what often happens is people perhaps get obsessed with becoming god/awakening /the big E before dealing with the basic self help stuff first. Sometimes working on the latter is enough. 

Don't blindly follow, question, observe, see and like you have been doing, use multiple sources. Remember there isn't a quick fix. It's a lifetime of work and I'm concerned many seekers perhaps are viewing it differently 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[Dodo]

11 hours ago, tatsumaru said:

Let's share some spiritual before/afters to see how far we've come.
I will start with my own milestones:

1. Met a spiritual friend who taught me the difference between direct experience and belief. It put the start of an excruciating spiritual journey of dissolving myself in order to rebuild myself again from experience.

2. Went to a Zen Master in India for a 40 day Satsang, I was shown what awareness means, as a result my anxiety disorder dissolved permanently.

3. Gained a significant understanding of the spiral dynamics model and systems thinking paradigm. As a result I understood what makes people different and how to recognize admirable friends and build complex value systems.

4. Read a book about I Ching and realized this is a universe of feeling not things, as a result I realized the conceptual was a parallel dimension that was not really real and started to embrace wholeness and apply musical theory to explain this reality (harmony, resonance, octaves, thresholds etc.) This dissolved multiple philosophical paradoxes caused by deficient paradigms.

5. Today.

 

What I have achieved so far: Dissolved an anxiety disorder, gained massive amount of direct experience wisdom, became able of complex coordination and system building, transitioned from INTP to INFP.

What I have yet to achieve: Still have no clue what the fuck is going on, Dealing with self-hate and self-esteem issues, Don't have any super powers yet, Haven't found a way to address my health issues yet.

Cheers.

 

 

Great stuff to contemplate here, that music theory is right up my alley because I have a memory of being a symphony before getting caught to incarnate here on Earth. I need to look into it, please suggest something good if you have resources. 

Ive had something I would call a spiritual experience which happened after I had a natural fast and no need of sleeo at one point during lockdown. It was inspired by something greater than me and the overall theme was True Love and proving it somehow. I am still confused about the experience which spanned over many days even weeks where I was seeing and hearing things from beyond and was guided by what I call "spirit of true love" and ended up meeting with a satanist and one muslim woman who whispered to me to find the truth in the Quran and had many magical experiences that are impossible - both positive and negative ones. At one point I was taken by a bunch of men for example and one started tickling me like the demons in my dreams as a child. So I know the devil might have been playing some magic tricks on me to confuse and perhaps test me somehow. At one point there were characters there who thought I was Jesus and were disappointed i couldn't do anything in one situation..  I was scared.. Then there was one womanly figure that healed some bruises on my arm after I cried to her... It was instant healing.. 

I have not really transformed from the experience as I went right back to my ego shell, went back to same addictions and routines because I didn't really want to experience this craziness again.. 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Dodo

[tatsumaru]

2 hours ago, Dodo said:

Great stuff to contemplate here, that music theory is right up my alley because I have a memory of being a symphony before getting caught to incarnate here on Earth. I need to look into it, please suggest something good if you have resources. 

Ive had something I would call a spiritual experience which happened after I had a natural fast and no need of sleeo at one point during lockdown. It was inspired by something greater than me and the overall theme was True Love and proving it somehow. I am still confused about the experience which spanned over many days even weeks where I was seeing and hearing things from beyond and was guided by what I call "spirit of true love" and ended up meeting with a satanist and one muslim woman who whispered to me to find the truth in the Quran and had many magical experiences that are impossible - both positive and negative ones. At one point I was taken by a bunch of men for example and one started tickling me like the demons in my dreams as a child. So I know the devil might have been playing some magic tricks on me to confuse and perhaps test me somehow. At one point there were characters there who thought I was Jesus and were disappointed i couldn't do anything in one situation..  I was scared.. Then there was one womanly figure that healed some bruises on my arm after I cried to her... It was instant healing.. 

I have not really transformed from the experience as I went right back to my ego shell, went back to same addictions and routines because I didn't really want to experience this craziness again.. 

What really initiated (but by no means completed) this transition to viewing life from the lens of music was something Alan Watts said here:

An important caveat though, I would caution you against believing Alan's idea that there's no necessity for the universe or existence and would like to instead suggest to only focus on his music analogy rather than his premature conclusions about the whole of existence.

Personally I think Alan Watts didn't really understand how fundamental this insight was and kind of left it underdeveloped. He thought it was just an analogy and never considered the possibility that life isn't like music, but that music is like life and that playing the piano is to music what living is to life.

To answer your questions, I would suggest to you that you actually take a look at musical theory as if you are studying physics (i.e. as something fundamental to the understanding of life itself, not something arcane or tangential to life like most musicians think of it). Pay particular attention to what harmony actually is and why it is different than non-harmony, then contemplate what harmony outside of the context of music is and how it could guide you in a profoundly honest and direct way that no teaching or "ism" ever could. Also pay attention to what octaves are and compare them with spiral dynamics theory. Pay attention to what frequencies are and contemplate wave functions. Contemplate the differences between static and dynamic.

A word of caution though, if you go this route you might uncover that almost all of modern education is incorrect, you might also discover Taoism naturally on your own. Realizing certain truths may make you incompatible with the current version of the social software. This could lead to profound loneliness. Buyer beware.

Any book on musical theory should provide some interesting insights even something like "Musical Theory for Dummies", if you resonate with it take it as far as you want, and then you should really consider "A course in miracles". Finally Walter Russell's "A new concept of the universe." should provide you with a fundamental understanding of the workings of the universe and may open the gates for your transformation to Homo Universalis. Good luck.

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by tatsumaru

[Dodo]

@tatsumaru check out the guy on youtube who coded the mandelbrot set to play sounds based on where you zoom in and click, it is a great way to merge maths and sound. But also many famous classical musicians use maths in their compositions to create the harmony you mention. I am not really into physics,  but I am more on the maths side and i am not subscribed to matter as being "stuff" but rather "vibe" so its actually a lot like you say- sound. In the bible they say: in the beginning was the word and then there was light - it begins with Sound before light. Yet another clue right there, maybe it is fundamental!