Why do people dislike/ hate positive people?

[soos_mite_ah]

By positive people I mean people who are generally upbeat, try to present the best version of themselves, when they talk about their problems they also try to talk about what they learned when handling said problem or how they are handling it, is warm, and friendly and bubbly when you first meet them.

Is it because these people seem fake or out of touch with the awful stuff in the world and as a result come off as cold/ detached? Is it because people mainly don't mesh with that type of energy because of where they're at? Is it because they seem deluded and stupid?  Those are somethings that I've heard from other source. 

[egoeimai]

It's simply because the can't relate. 

If you can't relate you're not gonna like the other person so much, you're gonna create a distance automatically. 

It's because they couldn't find the positivity in themselves and are reacting on auto-pilot when they get to see that in other ppl. If they too themselves were positive they wouldn't react like that. 

[Flowerfaeiry]

Lots of reasons, depending on the person. Sometimes it has to do with being genuine. Some people who are positive are doing it blindly and haven't actually worked through their stuff, putting on a fake happy type attitude because that's how they think they should act. 

[Opo]

Nothing sadder than a miserable fake happy person. 

[Inva]

@soos_mite_ah just come across as fake, but the whole vibration thing plays a part. 

me? im cool with it as long as the person is being genuine

[Tetcher]

Maybe they feel they are faking it and overdoing it. Another thing is genuine positive people will work to get someone out if his shell either directly or by his mere presence and cockroaches don't like when you turn the rock they live under.

[TheDao]

Because traditional feminine values are underrated in the western society. 

[soos_mite_ah]

8 hours ago, TheDao said:

Because traditional feminine values are underrated in the western society. 

What does positivity have to do with femininity lol

Also I'm seeing a lot of comments on how positivity can come off as fake. But I have met people who were positive and it came from a place of authenticity and people still thought they were fake. So how does that work? Does it then come back to the relatability aspect because what we feel we relate to is what we feel to be more real? 

[RendHeaven]

Who said they're disliked? The question in the title comes loaded with assumptions.

[soos_mite_ah]

@RendHeaven It's just something that I observed and experienced at certain times of my life. I noticed that a lot of people talk trash about positive people and think they are annoying or they look at positive people like they are insane. 

[PepperBlossoms]

Great post.  Hmm.. maybe lots of things - the unpositive/neutral are jealous of the positive; the positive seem shallow; it may be hard to take the positive person seriously; it is weird to see a happy person because it is like, why are you so happy?  what are you so positive about? the viewer does not identify as positive and based on their identity, they react negatively to a positive person because that is how their identity would respond, etc.

they do not trust the positive person - maybe there is some taking advantage of the situation in a seemingly unfair way; maybe there is something unfair about the situation

positive people can be annoying; they are a source of attention; the positive person's positivity is distracting

[SamC]

7 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

@RendHeaven It's just something that I observed and experienced at certain times of my life. I noticed that a lot of people talk trash about positive people and think they are annoying or they look at positive people like they are insane. 

@soos_mite_ah  I have observed the exact opposite... that people are drawn to and like positive people.

What I have experienced however is that some "positive people" in my life have complained that everyone else is so negative and that people look down on them for being positive and take the person for granted.

It´s fascinating how different experiences one can have. 

Edited May 5, 2021 by SamC

[ll Ontology ll]

12 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

By positive people I mean people who are generally upbeat, try to present the best version of themselves, when they talk about their problems they also try to talk about what they learned when handling said problem or how they are handling it, is warm, and friendly and bubbly when you first meet them.

Is it because these people seem fake or out of touch with the awful stuff in the world and as a result come off as cold/ detached? Is it because people mainly don't mesh with that type of energy because of where they're at? Is it because they seem deluded and stupid?  Those are somethings that I've heard from other source. 

Imagine if an overly positive person was actually just disguising the fact that they were a suicide bomber or at the very least just committed an atrocious act, I have to say I get a little suspicious of them sometimes. Look at Donald Trump, not overly positive but overly one dimensional, no? Dimensionality is the antithesis to stupidity as well, but does this mean that people who have an overly negative perception of positive people are intelligent or just as kamikaze except they just wear it on their sleeve? Who do we watch out for more, Dr. Phil's one dimensional sympathetic demeanour, Donald Trumps one dimensional sales pitches, the overly positive or the overly negative about the overly positive? But then look at Hilary Clinton, isn't she the measurement of the balance? The crooked dimensionality that absorbs all of Trump's mistakes with a giant devil's pitchfork in one foul swoop? However even though she has dimensionality I think we could argue that she fits into the category of overly positive, no? Thus validating my perception that the overly positive are probably hiding a little more than irritable bowl syndrome of authenticity. So where do we go from here? So it neither has anything to do with one dimensionality or dimensionality but that lack of dimensionality on the surface is correlated with something to hide if someone seems overly positive. This is why I never trusted Christmas or literally any holiday break, I'd rather just pay homeless people to sing death metal at carollers. They're the overly positive right? I don't know who take out first, the carollers or the people paid to dress up like Santa, elves and so on - what's more cruel? At least I don't at all try to humiliate the homeless by playing dress up on my imaginary fantasies. You wouldn't want to know what I'd do to the easter bunny and that's why you barely ever see anyone dress up as one these days.

[PepperBlossoms]

it feels uncomfortable and awkward around positive people; we don't know how to act around them or with them;  the chemistries do not work.  We do not feel inclined to hang out with them.  We feel a pressure to put on a positive fascade when we are not an overly positive person ourselves and do not want to have to do that.  We feel more comfortable being around people that we do not have to act positive around.  We feel that being overly positive would be fake for us because that is not who we are or how we are feeling

[mandyjw]

I think I'll make myself miserable so that everyone likes me. When I talk to people I'll point out the negative things that I don't like about myself, downplay everything good, always find something to complain about and connect with them over that. They'll LOVE me. 

Actually tried it, nope, turns out it just makes you miserable. 

[Hansu]

@soos_mite_ah

Imagine waking up every morning in a bed that is too small, driving your daughter to a school that is too expensive and then going to work that pays too little, and then seeing someone dares to be happy

Envy, my answer is envy

[soos_mite_ah]

4 hours ago, SamC said:

@soos_mite_ah  I have observed the exact opposite... that people are drawn to and like positive people.

What I have experienced however is that some "positive people" in my life have complained that everyone else is so negative and that people look down on them for being positive and take the person for granted.

It´s fascinating how different experiences one can have. 

Upon reading the comments and contemplating this a little more I guess a lot of whether you dislike negative people or you dislike positive people can manifest as distrust, ingenuine, or uncomfortable because of the perception that the other person has a different view on reality compared to you. And that can call your own view into question which again can be uncomfortable or you might label the other person as deluded because, hey your reality has to be real because it feel real to you. A lot of it has to do with not resonating I guess given that there is authenticity involved.

2 hours ago, Myioko said:

It's kinda off putting towards me when someone tells me that what I'm doing is fake, and I know myself well enough in that area to know that they're wrong. 'Your dressing that way to get attention.' 'You don't actually like this song', 'You don't really mean that' etc

 I dealt with this before. It can be rather annoying and borderline gaslighting, like your truth and your expression is fake. That's in general not relating to positivity tbh. 

2 hours ago, Myioko said:

In my experience, I really love being around people who are upbeat, positive, creative and enthusiastic. Maybe it's true that being around fake positivity is off putting, it's really hard to pretend to have that personality if it isn't authentic. I tried doing the super happy, sweet, upbeat persona for a year, a 'fake it til you make it' thing, because I saw a lot of the other girls around me doing that, and it's common in Mormon culture to act that way and fit in. It didn't work out for me, I didn't make many new friends that way.

Yeah if it isn't natural to you, forcing it won't make things better. Also speaking of Mormanism, idk if it's just me but sometimes with really religious white people (when I mean really religious I mean occasionally bringing up bible quotes in a conversation and going to youth group and church like 2-3 times a week), have this positivity about them that is borderline creepy to where it's like they're in the sunken place. And I say this as someone who can be pretty bubbly at times. Idk, maybe it's me being a person of color and knowing how exclusionary and sometimes dangerous conservative "Christian" values can be when it comes to people in the religious right (btw I live in Texas so I've encountered a lot of people like this).

4 hours ago, ll Ontology ll said:

Imagine if an overly positive person was actually just disguising the fact that they were a suicide bomber or at the very least just committed an atrocious act, I have to say I get a little suspicious of them sometimes. Look at Donald Trump, not overly positive but overly one dimensional, no? Dimensionality is the antithesis to stupidity as well, but does this mean that people who have an overly negative perception of positive people are intelligent or just as kamikaze except they just wear it on their sleeve? Who do we watch out for more, Dr. Phil's one dimensional sympathetic demeanour, Donald Trumps one dimensional sales pitches, the overly positive or the overly negative about the overly positive? But then look at Hilary Clinton, isn't she the measurement of the balance? The crooked dimensionality that absorbs all of Trump's mistakes with a giant devil's pitchfork in one foul swoop? However even though she has dimensionality I think we could argue that she fits into the category of overly positive, no? Thus validating my perception that the overly positive are probably hiding a little more than irritable bowl syndrome of authenticity. So where do we go from here? So it neither has anything to do with one dimensionality or dimensionality but that lack of dimensionality on the surface is correlated with something to hide if someone seems overly positive. This is why I never trusted Christmas or literally any holiday break, I'd rather just pay homeless people to sing death metal at carollers. They're the overly positive right? I don't know who take out first, the carollers or the people paid to dress up like Santa, elves and so on - what's more cruel? At least I don't at all try to humiliate the homeless by playing dress up on my imaginary fantasies. You wouldn't want to know what I'd do to the easter bunny and that's why you barely ever see anyone dress up as one these days.

I like that you brought up dimensionality. From what I've seen, I feel like an overly one dimensional presentation can feel deceptive because then it's like *what is this person hiding, surely this can't be it* but at the same time to other people who resonate with that presentation they might see that one dimensional presentation as more authentic because of consistency (i.e. Trump supporters who think Trump is the realist politician there is). People who have multiple dimensions can come across as more authentic because there are multiple sides to them that they share or it can come from an integrated place. But at the same time, for people who don't resonate with that presentation, that multi dimensionality can seem duplicitous and deceptive.