Impetuous Conversations with Reality - Off the Cuff Creative Writing (Closed Journal)

[ll Ontology ll]

Title: Her and Me, again free to be, all of life but I, must continue to make mine

Lost in my own nirvana with no one to play with

Free willed and free spirited, no ordinary thought crosses my mind

Blind to the cultural times, I can only see my own visions of crime

Speaking to the people on the street, oh it’s good to meet

Another version of my self, like picking up a glass off the shelf

But the way we ask who am I, we do not nearly see, eye to eye

An object in their minds eye after a glance, a phantom to barely revisit in memory several thousand steps later

This thousand yard distance that others speak to me with, even with a cheerful smile they cannot grasp my consciousness

Sitting at the bottom of the ocean and the middle of the universe

Sucking and converting all of the worlds informational contents into creative play

The touch of a woman’s hand, calms my mind and for a few moments I am able to forget this dream that others cannot capture with me

For a couple of hours, she only feels me and I her, I allow her, inside my energy even if she cannot hold my mind

As I stare into her grey blue eyes, the moments gone from both our perception of time

Into our energetic universe we create, this experience of intimacy, quietening the release of the inability of my parents to provide me with any outside the most inconsequential periods of my life where I felt the jolt of my mothers or fathers calming energy in an unexpected hand on the shoulder or hand in hand, but in hugs I could never properly feel their heart sync with mine, I had to get used to the only rhythm I could create

But in this feminine energy she is completely surrendered to me

Wanting me whole so I give myself fully

Because I know she wants this experience

I know she needs it

This feeling of love she’s come here for, even if, only for a couple of hours

So she can forget the darkest hours of her day

And remember me when I’m no longer around

The need to speak to me late at night until the early hours of the morning

She feels my energy, but she cannot adequately hear my mind

A safe presence enough I provide, a protective duty I follow

Free willed and free spirited I abide, to the strongest frequencies of reality I try not to push aside

Who needs me now I am there, but who am I, I do have this stare

This renegotiation with reality, a reformation for continued tranquility

In the quiet of my mind, a storm rages for the greater sublime

A reaching to know, but oh too I must let go

Into her arms for these few moments

Awaken her mind as she peers into mine

Hollow depths she cannot reach, for I am still searching for my peak

This reason to hold her tightly, will fade by next morning as we say goodbye

To her, I do admire, her calm fragile energy not yet burned by anyone and not yet

Me

Protect her I need to, from my own fire

For so innocent has been, her desire 

Love cannot be between us, I can only give love and her too, and when the time is right, let the paper boat float away to the bottom of the sea and the paper aeroplane the middle of the universe 

You. Are. Free

See you again soon, and reality

I continue to accept this war with you again and again, with honour and fight, all my might

To my,

Greatest heights, with love and mercy, to the latter, for only those that deserve it

For life, must continue to find its highest end with and without me but while I'm still here

My highest skies as well

Flight

 

Edited May 4, 2021 by ll Ontology ll

[ll Ontology ll]

Personal Aphorisms:

Mature enough to know now, that my heart and mind communication is no longer with any one phenomenon or experience, but all of reality. To my heart, we have the synchronisation of those ephemeral and wavelength beats: passion; fearless dominance; protection; tranquility; flow. To my mind, the mere relational attunement in open space, anything but awareness, out of trace. Together we have an infused state of creativity, apart we have mere devotion to the part arriving to the whole. Maker, maker, make it right; truth confides in mind, heart confides in truth. Artifice's and logical interfaces, tools to make the world and its analogical inverse, make me whole, and because of it, the universe a little more too. Who is the higher mind without the godly heart, the higher heart without the godly mind? Split the difference but don't tear apart, find yourself, beyond BraveHeart.