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Preety_India

In my deepest moments of terror

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I swear this journal section is full of narcissistic unhealthy people who crave attention and feed on any attention, even attention from trolls. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I'm not interested in you. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Don't ever take my name. 

 

 

You go around telling people bad things about me behind my back. 

And you demonize my MBTI personality which is in my signature.  You have no right 

INTP are not bad people. 

And don't click on my profile again. 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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I don't love you. 

I said it accidentally one time. It means nothing. 

 

I don't have any feelings for you. 

And I don't want you. 

Next time you will talk to me I will stay silent. 

I won't ever click on your profile again. 

By the way you're not allowed to message me

 

That's good. 

I've blocked you in messenger.. 

Good. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Go away. 

You're a drama Queen/king.  Just like others. 

 

I don't want to talk to you. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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When you say INTP lady, I know exactly who you're talking about. Indirect hints thrown at me. 

I'm offended by your comments about me. 

I'm not into drama the way you are 

 

583cob.jpg

 

 

581o14.jpg

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I wasted a lot of time today because I felt very sensitive and weak.. I was having panic attacks. 

Then some troll came around and it sent me over the edge. I felt petrified. 

I don't want to be in that terrified space. 

I want to feel emotionally stable. 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I think one of the reasons why Indian girls exhibit high levels of anxiety, depression and panic (which is often seen and perceived as drama by Western people ) is because indian girls are raised in the most horrible manner in their families. 

Indian girls are never raised with respect, affection, care or love. 

They are routinely malnourished, made to survive horrible shit, parents who control every aspect of the girl's life, treat her shitty. 

She is forced to marry some guy when she grows up. 

In short she is never allowed to live a normal life. 

She is never given respect or appreciation, neither by her family nor by her future husband 

 

As a result, indian women generally suffer generational trauma which exhibits itself in weird behaviors like fantasy, day dreaming, lack of maturity, abusive relationships, lack of self worth and lack of self esteem, low boundaries, overall poor emotional and physical health. 

This aspect is completely ignored by Western people 

 

If you raise people abnormally then they are obviously going to exhibit abnormal tendencies. What's the point of blaming them?

I liken the situation of a typical indian woman to that of a black guy getting arrested by a white cop.. 

Just imagine the terror. He panics and starts resisting. The more he resists, the worse he gets. The cop ends up killing him. 

People blame the black guy for resisting. 

But people who point fingers don't understand that it is not the black  man's fault. 

He has fears, real and imaginary. He is not acting or doing drama 

There are real consequences to getting arrested for black men whether they commit a crime or not. 

The world is seeing the truth only now. 

Once a black man is arrested, he can hardly find a job, his whole life ruined. 

Many innocent black men languish in prisons because they can't afford attorneys. 

The situation is further complicated by the fact that a majority of black men die in prison often in mysterious circumstances. 

Black men are routinely at the mercy of cops 

It's easy to perceive all of this as drama but deep down there are psychological reasons, the flight or fight response, majorly contributing to the phenomenon of resisting an arrest. 

But to an onlooker who is not black, it's puzzling to see such a reaction to an arrest and might seem unnecessary. 

Indian women are at the mercy of the patriarchy. This makes their lives increasingly complicated. The resultant trauma is exhibited in their poor upkeep of themselves and in their behaviors. 

To an outsider this might seem like immaturity or drama. 

But frankly these are just coping mechanisms against the shit Indian women have to constantly deal with from their family and patriarchal oppressive culture. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I want to return back to normalcy. 

Tomorrow I will stop talking to everyone on the forum. 

The only person I will talk to is Leo because I trust him, he is not a troll. 

I don't feel okay. 

I feel helpless and famished again. 

I feel nervous and upset 

 

I don't want this life

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I know that if I get Covid I won't survive, because of my underlying condition. 

But in my last moments, I will pass away peacefully, I will bless all the good innocent souls who are living and struggling 

I will curse all the bad people who made my life miserable. 

The earth needs the battle of Armageddon. 

Good versus evil

 

Christ versus Antichrist 

We need to liberate all the trapped souls who are still being abused 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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My journals are a Testament that I worked very hard to keep myself emotionally stable despite all the internal and external challenges. 

 

I didn't deserve this life. 

I suffered a lot for all these years

 

Even if I die, God will know that I tried my best till the end. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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what is the need to visit my profile????????  Tell me

 

why do you visit my profile if you hate me?????

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I feel terrorized by anyone who visits my profile. And I'm not acting. This is just the truth. 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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People are so cruel to each other here. 

The audacity to pick apart someone's private experiences 

So much direct hostility here

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I swear I will never visit anyone's profile here.. It's not even worth visiting 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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For some reason, I'm very scared and frightened right now. 

I want to make urgent changes to my life. 

It's very scary. 

I just don't want to suffer anymore 

 

I feel impending doom. 

The fear is not leaving me. 

I have been getting bad dreams 

 

My breasts are in pain. 

I feel nervous. 

Wish I could go back to when I was 15, 

 

I would have rewritten my life 

 

I would have never let myself suffer this way 

 

If I had foreseen what was coming 

I went through hell in life 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I swear this is why we need evil in this world 

 

Evil actions with good intent 

This is where we need weapons 

 

Weapons against life and the world. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I feel much better now after all the anxiety I poured out a few hours ago. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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Just don't talk to anyone at all. 

Don't mention or quote anyone. 

If the troll comes back, put him on ignore and do not respond to their comments.. 

The more you talk here the worse it gets.. The only person you can talk to is Leo. 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Consciously take yourself out of the drama here and don't be a part of it. Simply avoid. 

Especially this very section 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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