Proserpina's Journal

[Proserpina]

INFP 9w1 archetypes:

The ingenue

The Ingenue is a young virginal woman with the purity of a child.

The Ophelia

"In Real Life mental illness is rarely pretty, but in fiction, there's just something about a lovely young woman, often with long, disheveled hair, running around babbling lyrically about the strange visions flashing through her deranged mind, singing creepy little rhymes, scattering flowers and occasionally bashing people's heads in. A tragically beautiful, ethereal waif who's mad as a box of frogs. Her beauty is an important point here, underlining her fragility and the sadness of her fate. She usually talks in riddles and rhymes, can be sad or joyfully happy (or switch between these states). There's often a surprisingly artistic bent to The Ophelia's madness; she may sing, dance wildly, or try to paint her delusions. She may wear white and look extra ghostly and wraithlike. She would often be an Unkempt Beauty because crazy people usually don't care about trendy clothes and make-up."

The Empath

"Being able to tell how people are secretly feeling is okay too, right? Right?... While this sometimes makes for an impressive combat power, it does make the Empath an excellent Confidant for their teammates... one who knows all of their secrets, and can use them against them."

Princess classic

"When we think of a Princess, the most common association is the archetypical princess, the perfectly good, innocent, and beautiful princess, who is practically a saint with a royal title. These are largely associated with Fairy Tales, and are considered to be as old as those types of stories. Actually, this character started in the Victorian Era. In that time when stories were being shaped by Disneyfication and Bowdlerization, the concept of courtly love was warped to take all the sexual sub text out, and turn the noble lady into an ideal of the times. All to provide only the most positive and uncomplicated image to children, and even adults as well."

[Proserpina]

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ISFP

I think I'm going to have to agree with this typing overall.  Joseph and I ran through the descriptions of INFP and ISFP and we both agreed that ISFP fit me best.  I noted in our discussions with him that he often describes that I am just 'Being' in my feminine, while he is talking.  That I am resting, 'Being'.  Sounds like Se to me.  I am being in the moment, while he is analyzing and theorizing.  I often feel kind of out of my element with intuitives, although I have a twin flame kind of friendship with them.  We are on a different wavelength.  I am in the moment, while they are in the mind.  It can be a very fruitful relationship though, we balance each other out. 

"Intuitive" in the above case could mean more intellectual types such as enneagram types 5 and 6.  My partner is 6w5 ENTJ apparently.  An NT 6w5 is quite a bit more 'heady' and intellectual than an NF 9w1 gut type.  

"Se" in this case can be explained as being 9w1: 

9 THE PEACEMAKER

The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent

9w1 traits:

Calm

Content

Balanced

Simple

Innocent

Soft-spoken

Soft natured

Accepting

Pure of heart

Kind

Meek

Virtuous

Edited December 19, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Bliss

I accidentally let slip earlier this month that I'm in blissful states quite frequently or almost always.  Let me explain.  I'm hit with states of oneness and Beauty, such is my default.  Such is my gifting.  However, I have many drawbacks and issues, and challenges.  God chooses the silent.  The 'dumb'.  The meek and the small.  Maybe to not spread ignorance, to keep the jewel hidden.  God values keeping it all hidden and secret.  When I 'grow up' in density, God decides the secret needs to be let loose.  I can amplify my gifting through meditation and by inviting the presence of God. 

"Start by welcoming Him and thank Him for coming to you and bringing all that He is and has. Acknowledge and enjoy His presence"

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"Keep It Secret. Keep It Safe." - Gandalf.

JRR Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings 

You can see this reflected in Lord of the Rings.  A powerful object- the Ring  (Spirit, the sun, love) is given to an underestimated being so as to keep it hidden.  This ring holds great power so 'God' gives the task and the ring to the smallest of creatures.  Only he can be the one to keep the ring hidden.  The Ring and the rings of power have run havoc in the hands of more powerful beings and so Frodo is maybe destroying with his pure heart the ignorance and corruption the ring has caused/is causing. 

Masculine and hating

The masculine sword of truth can easily fall into the territory of hating if the individual integrating the masculine is not careful.   It's recommended that you come from a meditative place.  Some forms of criticism can be constructive even if they may seem like hating on the surface.   Just as some forms of compliments can be constructive and shouldn't be necessarily relegated as ego-boosting if the complimenter feels the conviction to do so.  Generally,  the masculine will occur alongside internal and external backlash.  Hating is an obvious and often subtle attempt to put someone down and make someone uncomfortable, such as calling someone low IQ or low social calibration.  The discomfort from utilizing the masculine can result in hating.  Hating is often dismissed as Ti or as some bastardized version of the masculine when actually it is anything but.  It is NOT 'Ti', it is just pathetic.  I think, generally, truly the need for the masculine sword of truth is rare.  But to ignore its usefulness entirely is too much as well.  

Compliments

When your heart opens and your mind finds a deep calm then you will find it in you to find the True Compliment Born out of True Love. To be in gratitude is one of the highest states; to be in gratitude to a person and to bare your soul, if only for a moment.  When you know the conviction to speak something beautiful and kind and the constructive nature of baring your soul, the impact that simple act can have despite adversity.  Like plucking off the spikes on a rose bush the feminine can soften inevitable energetic 'upsets'. 

Pretty excuses

Recently I've been misbehaving and doing all kinds of stupid, low-consciousness stuff.  I've gone back to one or two places in development.  I want to move forward and evolve.  I think that certain users on here were super toxic to my system.   But what does that say about my system if it's so shaken up and easily fallen back a few stages in development just by a few silly certain users on here?  Not much.  Plus I can't really blame anyone but myself.   100% responsibility.  

Popularity

The masculine is decidedly popular.  The popular girl is the feminine leading with the masculine.  She makes her energy attractive and desirable by pulling away, making herself scarce, indicating high value.  That pulling away causes a need for a rejoining.  The feminine offers herself up freely, is transparent and you'll see her make moves on the chessboard of life that don't seem obviously in her favour, in the short term.  She does not create a pull away that requires a rejoining.  She is apparently an ugly duckling until she learns to integrate her masculine and knows her value.  She doesn't play the masculine game at her own expense. 

Talk

There is talk of Being and then there is BEING.  Those who walk the path, who recognize BEING when they hear her.  I'll be honest I rarely see BEING on this forum or even in spiritual circles.  It's all intellectual masturbation, there still lacks a grasping.  Probably Leo is the only one I've seen who kinda gets it, which is probably why I need to defer to him a little more and stop my criticism as much.  I'm just skeptical of his methodologies.   I think God gifts people spiritual gifts for a reason and saying DMT can trump God's decision-making seems wrong to me.  Outer manifestations of how 'good' you are or how well you talk the spiritual talk or how many followers you have, are rarely relevant but can be a correlation.

Divine order vs Compassion

Faith vs Will 

There is a divine order to the universe.  God gifts certain spiritual gifts for a reason.   And yet to not help others and have compassion for others would be a mistake.  God holds you in the palm of his hand and his order is divine.  All is well, whatever you choose.  But you still need to have compassion.  

Others need to search out the gifts, such is the masculine. Such is will.   You cannot rely solely on faith, the feminine.  This is where DMT and weed etc. come in.  

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For people like you I have a proverb that I invented —

Wear your struggles and scars as badges and medals rather than as failures and flaws.  - Tyler Robinson

Exactly.  Functionality is not something to aspire to as much as non-functionality is.  There holds a place in this universe for the small and meek or adolescent or non-functional or non-powerful.  Happiness and nirvana are often given to the unlikeliest of creatures.  Divine order.

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Honestly, what is the point of spirituality and spiral dynamics and all this talk of a 'bigger picture' if no one can get this basic premise?  That the meek and the small are not necessarily less evolved and less enlightened in the greater scheme of things.  When you step outside your own ego and your own maps and science, the significance of others' value in the greater scheme of things becomes clearer.  The world is more nuanced than boxes of 'functional' and 'non-functional'. Many of the supposed 'non-functional' have something to offer and are functional in the greater picture.  But they are silent about it. How can they speak on something so complex, how can they champion themselves when they have so many struggles? This is a serious problem.  The functional are loud. They have no problems championing themselves and so their point of view is the majority rule and very attractive for an ego to unconsciously adopt their perspective.

I think people like Carl Jung were trying to use theory to understand and booster 'the meek and the small'.  Perceivers, specifically INFPs, frequent the mental health system quite regularly and don't quite fit into our ESTJ society. I remember reading a quote somewhere where Carl Jung said the introverted perceiver's strength and organization lies in his internal world rather than the external.  INFPs are most likely to 'ruminate', self-reference, and commit suicide of all types I think and yet people like Jung and Tolkien went out of their way to understand them and their strengths assuming them to be equals in their society that can so easily demonize and pathologize them. 

Conflict

Putting yourself in conflict situations causes a pull away.  Especially if you remain taut or rigid or self-contained.  Low neuroticism in conflict situations (low agreeableness) is the integration of masculine.  Popularity occurs when you pull away and then spring forward.   If you only ever pull away then it just causes frustration, although you will be more desirable.  A feminine who naturally springs forward and trains herself to pull herself back and remain self-contained is powerful. 

Pain

The pain you encounter during the pull away in conflict situations will subside and you'll be left with the fruits if you don't mess it up by being neurotic before the pain subsides and spring forward undoing the pull away.  Still, even then, there will usually be fruits if you can get your neuroticism under control.  Low agreeableness or conflict comes with fruits.  Fruits such as the need to rejoin, charisma, charm, and attractiveness.  That's why assertiveness training and meditation practice are both great things for the feminine to include in her self-development.  She has to put herself in conflict situations and lower her neuroticism. 

"Conflict situations" just means mild low agreeableness and mild forms of conflict.  Nothing extreme is necessary.  My mentor taught me the art of subtly.  Make yourself uncomfortable and embrace criticism.  Come from a non-neurotic place, a non-volatile place.  Meditate.  Speak from a place of stillness and embrace division and conflict but lead with the feminine (unity).  To demonize division would be attachment. 

Meditation

Meditation is stepping out of your own way.  The flower naturally blossoms left to its own devices, when you step out of its way and lower neuroticism as a result of meditation.  You are beautiful when you step out of your own way.  The cork floats to the surface.  It is your default to blossom left to your own devices. 

The Method

I picked up this method many years ago during a mystical experience.  It served me well.  Letting go and satisfaction are on the same frequency.  Find a satisfying feeling in the body,  then practice do nothing meditation.  They feed into each other.  Where there is satisfaction there is a letting go. Where there is a letting go,  there is satisfaction.  It's easier to find a satisfying feeling in the body and then practice doing nothing, than to practice do nothing and then feeling the satisfaction.  Tap into the potential held within the satisfying feeling.  The satisfying feelings in the body will grow,  along with the mind's letting go.   Your body will glow with satisfaction. 

It doesn't only have to be a bodily sensation.   It can be anything.  Beautiful energies, the breath (particularly out breath), sexual energy,  reality itself (advanced), etc. Satisfaction draws more satisfaction.  Even larger forms of satisfaction.  Bodily sensation is one of the most potent ways.  Can be difficult to access though.  

In terms of access, here's what I do (in order): 

1. Satisfaction from reality itself (access point) 

2. Satisfaction from bodily sensation.   If I can't reach bodily sensation then the breath or sexual energy. 

3. Satisfaction from beautiful energies.  

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Talk

There is talk of Being and then there is BEING.  Those who walk the path, who recognize BEING when they hear her.  I'll be honest I rarely see BEING on this forum or even in spiritual circles.  It's all intellectual masturbation, there still lacks a grasping.  Probably Leo is the only one I've seen who kinda gets it, which is probably why I need to defer to him a little more and stop my criticism as much.  I'm just skeptical of his methodologies.   I think God gifts people spiritual gifts for a reason and saying DMT can trump God's decision-making seems wrong to me.  Outer manifestations of how 'good' you are or how well you talk the spiritual talk or how many followers you have, are rarely relevant but can be a correlation.

How to write this without sounding arrogant or proud while dispersing possible misunderstandings?  What I mean by "BEING" is a very high level of consciousness.  It is not necessarily all mental masturbation when people write of their experiences and insights.  I recognize when people are speaking in the absolute.  I'm sure others have a high level of consciousness and are writing of their own experiences of that.  The only time I 'meet' someone with my level of consciousness is when it's reflected back to me in visions and dreams.  From that perspective and in my experience and knowing,  I have a very high level of consciousness as baseline.  Although I  still realize that I have quite a bit more integration work to do regarding the divine masculine and divine marriage, as well as growth in the relative or human sphere of concern.  

Edited December 23, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Inner knowing

The meek have an inner knowing of their place in the greater scheme of things.   A smaller creature does not spread ignorance by not being an obvious example.  He has understanding (more so from intuition).   When he grows in density,  he becomes powerful.  He becomes an obvious example.   He fits the models and boxes that egos erect.  That's when religions and ignorance can form and your words hold great weight.  

Meditation

Meditation is stepping out of your own way.  The flower naturally blossoms left to its own devices, when you step out of its way and lower neuroticism and heighten openness as a result of meditation.  You are beautiful when you step out of your own way.  The cork floats to the surface.  It is your default to blossom left to your own devices.

Neuroticism

Neuroticism (tantrums, emotional breakdowns, emotionality) is also a type of conflict situation that can bare fruits when transmuted with lowered neuroticism.  Basically, anything that seems like a 'negative' trait in your life can be transmuted with lowered neuroticism.  Stepping out of your own way.  Calm.  Balance.  Openness.  The flower.  Blossoming. 

The negative trait causes a pull away.  Lowered neuroticism is the fruition of that pull away.  When the pull away bares positive fruit.  'Neuroticism' isn't bad per se, just as any negative trait isn't bad per se.  They are the spice of life.  The salt in your soup.  With transmutation, you won't overdose on said spices and salts. 

It's not about perfection, no tantrums.  It's about how fast can you transmute it.

Calm, balance, openness - union

Leading with union - Division is transmuted into the salt and spice of life. 

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Transmutation

Basically stepping out of your own way, "resting" can transmute anything.   Treated as subhuman?  Transmuted.  Abuse?  Transmuted.  Negative emotion?  Transmuted. "Ugly"?  Transmuted.  Tantrum?  Transmuted.  It's the fricken Philosopher's stone.  You'll still be treated as subhuman but you'll be a beautiful, evolving 'subhuman' and the situations and karma you attract to you will reflect said beauty.  Plus, you'll be pushed to be enough for these people which will shape you and strengthen you.  Of course you shouldn't bypass, you should stay away from toxic people as much as you can (which I do).  "This is not an opposition, this is an opportunity". 

The Sublime Gaze

I was trying to work out with Joseph what my spiritual gift is and we worked out that it is the sublime gaze. According to Joseph, the sublime gaze is an indication of the divine feminine and the absolute or divine marriage.

Quotes from previous mystical experiences, describing my gifting: 

"Dearest one, your gaze is sublime, turn it upon yourself" 

"I wouldn't be too quick to assume.  One of the prerequisites of sublime gaze is being meek almost to a fault.  

What if they knew what they were doing? Even if they appeared pitiful and unattractive. " 

"what's sublime gaze?"

"It's like a genie. 

It's a gaze that can heal and change.  But remains hidden."

(Remaining aligned in your gaze is painful when surrounded by not-so-nice people. It's easy to become bitter which can impact your gaze.  You 'burn up' at your core, suffering,  to avoid bitterness.  Death of the ego)

"Sublime gaze requires ridiculous amounts of suffering.  If you do something 'wrong' the amount of suffering required is unreal."

"It's very similar to what preety India described in her journal.  Constant releasing and absorbing. It's very painful."

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Being = consciousness = Love = sublime gaze = the sun (not literally the sun)

Reality is made out of love - sublime gaze - the sun 

Love - Life (love)

I am love/sublime gaze when I step out of my own way. 

Love/sublime gaze is my true nature. 

I was always actually love/sublime gaze. 

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Cleaning up

Public journalling is helping me to clean up my psychology.  I recognize now I might have some old ideas that might be inaccurate.  I can see that my writing is becoming a lot 'cleaner', as I'm able to pick apart old ideas.  This is great for healing from psychosis as it sows a lot of inaccurate ideas, often founded on Truth.  I can sense when ideas don't 'fit' and I'll naturally just transcend them and revisit the ideas that make sense eventually.  I still have emotional breakdowns sometimes, short-lived and rare.  I mean it is a journal, where I'm supposed to express myself and be authentic.  I never said I didn't have mental illness, but I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I'm not gifted.  Even though I keep waving it in everyone's face at this point LOL.  Guys, I'm soooo gifted.

Edited December 25, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

They are the spice of life.  The salt in your soup.  With transmutation, you won't overdose on said spices and salts. 

Leading with union - Division is transmuted into the salt and spice of life. 

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When you feel your life is nothing but noise, you create some spaces in between so it becomes music. When you have been driving and driving, it is good to take a break and stretch your legs, to relax. To balance your incessant doing with some not-doing. It is like taking a rest on the beach, taking in the scene of the vast ocean rather than to always be fighting with the waves.

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you can accept that if there is no resistance in your experience that joy is what you will return to and so as you focus upon that joyful state that inner being that exists in the vortex is vibrating at as you focus upon that joyful state and then you focus upon your point of Attraction and you acknowledge that your dominant intent is to provide an environment where things of a joyful nature can make their way into your experience so you decide to go very general meditation is maybe the best way to go general of all because when you quiet your mind you stop thought and when you stop thought you stop resistance and when you stop resistance then you have accomplished a point of attraction that will allow the things that are a vibrational match to that to flow from your vortex into your experience- Abraham hicks

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God and Love would be the result of turquoise or enlightened society.  Love is sublime Gaze.  God and Love is what happens when you see Sublime Gaze reflected back to you.  Love and Life.  Love brings you to Life.  

"Dearest one, your gaze is sublime, turn it upon yourself" 

"The divine masculine naturally embodies the aspect of GOD. The divine feminine the aspect of (feminine) LOVE and HEART.  Both need to be honored."

"You have to bring the teaching down to earth. Walk your talk. Identifying the self as God and the other as God shows up differently in reality. 'God and love'."

Love is Sublime Gaze.  'God' is Life.  Sublime Gaze turned upon yourself or the other. 

You can see these ideals playing out in the public sphere in terms of the integration of masculine and feminine, narcissism and empath (super empath)

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The world had grown cold.  Depressed.  I could feel it.  The planet was full of Life energy at the expense of Breath. Difficult to explain. The collective had become narcissistic (Life energy) due to too much Breath.  Without Breath Life energy started to drain.  Then there was a calling for Breath. The rebalancing involved the balance of Life energy and Breath. There were individuals who came forward who had the qualities required for the collective to have hope, love, and faith again.  Not saying I am some kind of savior but I have always had access to a level of consciousness where I could Breathe Life energy into things, where I was warmth and fullness.  Maybe in spite of my fool archetype or maybe because of it.  I don't know.  When the individuals came forward the rebalancing of the planet occurred.  I required Life energy to be heard, which my communications with my unconscious/entities provided. 

Pandora (Breath) opened pandora's box by Breathing too much Life energy.  Life energy (collective/masculine) then became stagnant, narcissistic, and self-worshipping.  Life energy is seeming perfection, not in need of Breath.  Blind to its own limitation.  Love created the Evil of this world. 

You can see The Origination Story play out in relationships between men and women.  Women are Breath and men are Life energy. 

Love and Life or 'God and Love' are also ever-present qualities with us, right now.  They are either in balance or they are not.  They are either full or weak.  Frequently weaker in the non-heavenly sphere and strong in the heavenly sphere.  In the above example, there was a fullness of Life and not a lot of Love, due to too much Love.  There were half angels (fallen angels).  Lucifer is an example of a half-angel, full of Life and not Love. 

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Sublime gaze turned toward the self brings the self to Life.   Love brings you to Life.  Be your own fairy godmother.  In reality, the fairy godmother is a sublime gaze reflected back in dreams and visions or purposefully.  I see it in words, dreams, visions, and imagination.  I would often say that a small creature would remain small until they transformed themselves through dreams and visions of their hidden sublime gaze reflected back to them.  

Meditation for sublime gaze

Meditation stops thought which releases resistance and so sublime gaze can fully emerge, what I would call 'beautiful energies' but in actuality was sublime gaze in full.  You can then, from that stance, turn your gaze, on yourself and transform yourself, bringing yourself to Life through Love.  I would experience visions during Jhanic activation.  

Edited December 27, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

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Entering the Jhanas

Perhaps no aspect of the Buddha’s teaching has been both more misunderstood and neglected than right concentration. Yet right concentration is obviously an integral part of the Buddha’s path to awakening: the final item of the noble eightfold path, it is exemplified by, and sometimes even defined as, the jhanas. Before his awakening, the Buddha remembered an incident from his childhood when he had experienced the first jhana; upon further reflection, he concluded, “That is indeed the path to awakening.”

The word “jhana” literally means “meditation”; it comes from the verb jhayati, which means “to meditate.” Many times, the Buddha would give a dhamma talk and close it by saying, “There are these roots of trees, these empty huts—go meditate (jhayati).” From this usage of jhayati, it seems certain that what the Buddha meant by meditation was jhana practice.

The Buddha makes it clear that this examination of reality should be done with a concentrated mind. And the jhanas are the method he taught, over and over again.

The Buddha’s teachings can be divided into three parts: sila, samadhi, and panna (ethical conduct, concentration, and wisdom). Or to put it into the vernacular: clean up your act, concentrate your mind, and use your concentrated mind to investigate reality. Each practice the Buddha taught fits neatly into one of the three categories. The precepts and the brahmavihara practices of loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity are ethical practices. The brahmavihara practices, especially loving-kindness (metta) practice, can also generate concentration, as do mantra and visualization practices. But most everything else you think of when you hear the word meditation is a wisdom practice, intended to help you “see the way things are” (or, perhaps more accurately, “what’s actually happening”). The Buddha makes it clear that this examination of reality should be done with a concentrated mind. And the jhanas are the method he taught, over and over again.

The jhanas are eight altered states of consciousness, brought on via concentration, each yielding more concentration than the previous. As you pass through the jhanas, you stair-step your way to deeper and deeper levels of concentration—that is, you become less and less likely to become distracted. Upon emerging from the jhanas—preferably the fourth or higher—you begin doing an insight practice with your jhanically concentrated, indistractable mind. This is the heart of the method the Buddha discovered. These states are not an end in and of themselves, unlike what the Buddha’s two teachers had taught him shortly after he’d left home to begin his spiritual quest. They are simply a way of preparing your mind so you can more effectively examine reality and discover the deeper truths that lead to liberation.

The path to entering the jhanas begins with what is called access concentration: being fully with the object of meditation and not becoming distracted even if there are wispy background thoughts. If your practice is anapanasati—mindfulness of breathing—you may recognize access concentration when the breath becomes very subtle; instead of a normal breath, you notice your breath has become very shallow. It may even seem that you’ve stopped breathing altogether. These are signs that you’ve likely arrived at access concentration. If the breath gets very shallow, and particularly if it feels like you’ve stopped breathing, the natural thing to do is to take a nice deep breath and get it going again. Wrong! This will tend to weaken your concentration. By taking that nice deep breath, you decrease the strength of your concentration. Just stay with that shallow breathing. It’s okay. You don’t need a lot of oxygen when you are very quiet both physically and mentally.

Look at most any statue of the Buddha—he has a faint smile on his face. That is not just for artistic purposes; it is there for teaching purposes.

If the breath gets very, very subtle, instead of taking a deep breath, shift your attention away from the breath to a pleasant sensation. This is key. You notice the breath until you arrive at and sustain access concentration, then you let go of the breath and shift your attention to a pleasant sensation, preferably a physical one. There is not much point in trying to notice the breath that has gotten extremely subtle or has disappeared completely—there’s nothing left to notice.

The first question that may arise when I say, “Shift your attention to a pleasant sensation” may be “What pleasant sensation?” Well, it turns out that when you get to access concentration, the odds are quite strong that, someplace in your physical being, there will be a pleasant sensation. Look at most any statue of the Buddha—he has a faint smile on his face. That is not just for artistic purposes; it is there for teaching purposes. Smile when you meditate, because once you reach access concentration, you only have to shift your attention one inch to find a pleasant sensation.

Pleasant sensations can occur pretty much anywhere. The most common place that people find pleasant sensations when they’ve established access concentration is in the hands. When you meditate, you want to put your hands in a comfortable position in which you can just leave them. The traditional posture is one hand holding the other, with the thumbs lightly touching. But you can also put your hands in all sorts of other positions—just place them however it appeals to you. After you’ve been in access concentration “long enough,” if you notice that there’s a pleasant feeling in the hands, drop the attention on the breath and focus entirely on the pleasantness of that sensation.

Another common place where people find a pleasant sensation is in the heart center, particularly if they’re using metta, or loving-kindness, meditation as the access method. Just shift your attention to the pleasantness of that sensation. Other places people find pleasant sensations could include the third eye, the top of the head, or the shoulders. It does not matter where the pleasant sensation manifests; what matters is that there is a pleasant sensation and you’re able to put your attention on it and—now here comes the really hard part—do nothing else.

It’s important to let go of the breath when you make the shift to the pleasant sensation. The breath (or other meditation object) is the key to get you in—”in” being synonymous with establishing strong enough access concentration. When you come home from work, you pull out your key, you open the door to your home, and you go in. You don’t then wander around with the key still in your hand—you put it back in your pocket or purse or on some table. You’re not cooking dinner or watching TV with the key still in your hand. The key has done its job, and you let it go. It’s exactly the same with the breath or other meditation object. Totally let go of it, and focus entirely on the pleasant sensation. Of course, this is easier said than done—you’ve struggled for a long time to stay locked onto the breath, and now that you’ve finally managed to do so, the first thing you are told is to stop doing that. But that’s the way it is. If you want to experience jhanas, it’s going to be necessary to give yourself to fully enjoying the pleasantness of the pleasant sensation.

Once you’ve found the pleasant sensation, you fully shift your attention to it. If you can do that, the sensation will begin to grow in intensity; it will become stronger. This will not happen in a linear way. At first, nothing happens. Then it’ll grow a little bit and then hang out and grow a little bit more. And then eventually, it will suddenly take off and take you into what is obviously an altered state of consciousness.

In this altered state of consciousness, you will be overcome with rapture, euphoria, ecstasy, delight. These are all English words that are used to translate the Pali word piti. Perhaps the best English word for piti is “glee.” Piti is a primarily physical sensation that sweeps you powerfully into an altered state. But piti is not solely physical; as the suttas say, “On account of the presence of piti, there is mental exhilaration.” In addition to the physical energy and mental exhilaration, the piti will be accompanied by an emotional sensation of joy and happiness. The Pali word for this joy/happiness is sukha, the opposite of dukkha (pain, suffering). And if you can remain undistractedly focused on this experience of piti and sukha, that is the first jhana.

So to summarize the method for entering the first jhana: You sit in a comfortable upright position and generate access concentration by placing, and eventually maintaining, your attention on a single meditation object. When access concentration is firmly established, then you shift your attention from the breath (or whatever your meditation object is) to a pleasant sensation, preferably a physical sensation. You put your attention on that sensation, maintain your attention on it, and do nothing else.

The hard part is the “do nothing else” part. You put your attention on the pleasant sensation and nothing happens, so you might think to yourself, “He said something was supposed to happen.” No, I did not say to make comments about experiencing the pleasant sensation. Or you might put your attention on the pleasant sensation and it starts to increase, so you think, “Oh! Oh! Something’s happening!” No, don’t do that—that will only make it go away. Or it comes up just a little bit, and then it stops, and you sort of try and help it. Nope, none of this works. Just simply observe the pleasant sensation.

You must become totally immersed in the pleasantness of the pleasant sensation. By this I mean the quality of the sensation that enables you to determine that it is pleasant, rather than unpleasant or neither. It’s not about the location of the pleasant sensation nor its intensity or duration. It’s not about whether the pleasant sensation is increasing or decreasing or staying the same. Just focus entirely on the pleasant aspect of the pleasant sensation, and the jhana will arise on its own. Now, admittedly, the sensation will be located in a particular area, and your attention will be aimed at that area. That’s fine. Just don’t get caught up in the location; stay with just enjoying the pleasantness of the pleasant sensation.

All you can do is set up the conditions for the jhana to arise by cultivating a calm and quiet mind focused on pleasantness. And then just let go—be that calm, quiet mind focused on pleasantness and enjoy it—and the jhana will appear. Any attempt to do anything more does not work. You actually have to become a human being, as opposed to a human doing. You have to become a being that is simply focused on a pleasant sensation, and then the jhana comes all on its own.

Imagine that your mind is like a still pool—still because of the access concentration. Now drop in a pebble of pleasure. The ripples go out to the sides of your skull, bounce off, and come back together. When they come together they reinforce each other, generating taller waves. But because this is not a real, physical system, if you don’t disturb the system, the ripples stay taller and don’t die out; they keep bouncing off the sides and reinforcing each other more and more. This is what we are after. But it requires that you not stir the water in the pool; doing so would spoil the bouncing and reinforcing effect, and the system would not keep generating higher waves.

There’s an unmistakable quality to the arising of piti and sukha that lets you know for certain that something quite different is happening.

The suttas describe the first jhana as being “accompanied by thinking and examining” and “filled with the rapture and happiness born of seclusion.” These four qualities are often identified as factors of the first jhana: thinking and examining, rapture and happiness. The thinking and examining are translations of the Pali words vitakka and vicara. The commentaries interpret these words to mean initial and sustained attention on the meditation object. Now, it’s true that in order to do any sort of concentrated meditation, you need initial and sustained attention on the meditation object. However, this doesn’t appear to be what the Buddha is talking about: in the suttas, vitakka and vicara always and only refer to thinking. When you generate access concentration and sustain it, there may still be a bit of thinking in the background, which can basically be ignored. This background thinking persists in the first jhana and is what is being referred to by the words vitakka and vicara.

As stated earlier, when you move from access concentration to the first jhana, you’re shifting your attention to a pleasant sensation and staying with that as your object of attention, ignoring any background thinking. If you can stay with your undistracted attention on the pleasant sensation, then piti will arise. The piti, being the physical release of pleasant, exhilarating energy, could be anywhere from mild to quite intense. It can be finger-in-the-electrical-socket intense; it can be so intense that it’s not even pleasurable. And hopefully the piti is accompanied by sukha, which is an emotional state of joy and happiness. Both piti and sukha are required in order for the experience to be classified as the first jhana. And most likely, the experience brings a big grin to your face. The first jhana is enough of an altered state that if you think some experience might be the first jhana, it probably isn’t; there’s an unmistakable quality to the arising of piti and sukha that lets you know for certain that something quite different is happening.

At first, it’s really not easy to tell the piti and sukha apart. This experience, this energy, this state comes over you and grabs your full attention. It is not readily apparent that there is an emotional component apart from the physical component, nor is it necessary to do so yet. The experience may be much more one of pervasive piti-sukha than one composed of intermingled distinct piti and distinct sukha. As mentioned above, you may also find that there is a bit of thinking going on in the background. That’s okay—it’s the vitakka and vicara, the thinking and examining, which are still lurking in the background of the first jhana. Don’t get distracted by the background thinking; stay focused on the experience of piti-sukha. Maintaining this piti-sukha experience and the focus on it constitutes the first jhana.

For each of the first four jhanas, we have a simile. For this first one we find:

Suppose a skilled bath attendant or his apprentice were to pour soap flakes into a metal basin, sprinkle them with water and knead them into a ball, so that the ball of soap flakes would be pervaded by moisture, encompassed by moisture, suffused by moisture inside and out and yet would not trickle. In the same way, one drenches, steeps, saturates, and suffuses one’s body with the rapture and happiness born of seclusion, so that there is no part of one’s body that is not suffused by rapture and happiness. (DN 2.78)

This picture matches quite well the frenetic energy of the first jhana. The first jhana is not a calm, peaceful state. Its energy is pretty intense, and this simile gives a fairly good idea of the lack of calm and of the frenetic energy that is present. There’s an effervescent quality to the first jhana that can also be gleaned from the simile. The particulars of the simile are that the soap flakes are like your body, and the water is like the piti and sukha, which go throughout the body so that they are fully everywhere; this occurs as you become more skilled. Your first goal should be to get the piti and sukha going, and then sustain them.

The length of time you’ll want to stay in the first jhana is inversely proportional to the intensity of the piti. In other words, if the piti is very strong, you probably won’t want to stay there very long. Half a minute or so might be sufficient, maybe even less than that if the piti is seriously intense. If the piti is not so strong, you might want to stay there five to ten minutes. The timing depends on the strength of the piti.

Piti comes in a number of “grades.” It can show up as momentary piti, which is like a shiver and then it’s gone. It can be minor piti, which is a little tingly feeling that’s sustaining but not very strong and is more or less in the background. Minor piti can also show up as gentle, involuntary rocking as you meditate. You might experience showering piti, which is when you get a burst of piti and then it’s gone, another burst and then that’s gone—the piti is arising but not sustaining. It can be uplifting piti that makes your hair stand on end. It can give you a sense that you are levitating when it’s really strong. I have had several students report opening their eyes to see whether they were indeed levitating. I’m afraid no one has ever reported getting off the ground. However, uplifting piti can make you sit up very straight. The fifth kind of piti is what I usually refer to as full-blown piti. The correct translation is “all-pervasive piti.” This is the piti that is everywhere. It’s present, it’s sustained, and you experience it throughout your body. It’s the piti necessary for the first jhana; the other four types are pre-jhana piti, and they may or may not show up as you progress toward access concentration and then to the arising of the first jhana.

Piti can manifest as rocking or swaying, or it can be intense so that you are actually vibrating to the point where it is visible to others. It can manifest as heat and get very, very warm. Hopefully it has a pleasant aspect to it. Most often, it manifests as an upward rush of energy, often centered up the spine. I’ve talked with people who practice kundalini yoga, and it seems that piti is the same energy. I’ve talked with people who practice tummo, the Tibetan practice of generating heat, and I was told that this practice also involves generating the same sort of energy. It’s a known, widespread phenomenon that is used in different ways. Here, it is used to grab your attention and take you into a concentrated state. The arising of piti also has the nice side effect (for most people) of generating sukha, and, as one comes to see, sukha is the principal component of the second and third jhanas.

So, you hang out in the first jhana for a bit, depending on how strong the piti is: if it is very strong, a half minute or so; if it is weaker, then maybe up to five or ten minutes. It should also be mentioned that when piti first arrives, you may not have any control over the strength of it. It may come on ridiculously strong, or it may come on weak. Just go with whatever shows up. The reason it can come on very strong the first time is somewhat like a can of soda pop. If you shake it for four or five days and then pop the top, it goes all over. The good news is that the next time piti comes on, it won’t have built up so much pressure. If the first time you experience piti is in the evening before going to bed, you will probably have trouble getting to sleep. It will wire you up. That’s okay. You’re learning, and missing a little bit of sleep is worth figuring out how to work with these valuable mental states.

These are the instructions for entering the first jhana. But don’t expect the necessary concentration to show up anytime soon. In fact, don’t expect anything! Expectations are the absolute worst things you can bring on a retreat, and they are equally detrimental when practicing while not on retreat. Simply do the meditation method. And when access concentration arises, recognize it, sustain it “long enough,” and then shift your attention to a pleasant sensation. Don’t try to do the jhanas. You can’t. All you can do is generate the conditions out of which the jhanas can arise. Recognize when you’ve established these conditions, then patiently wait for the jhana to come find you.

 

[Proserpina]

God and Love would be the result of turquoise or enlightened society.  Love is sublime Gaze.  God and Love is what happens when you see Sublime Gaze reflected back to you.  Love and Life.  Love brings you to Life.  

"Dearest one, your gaze is sublime, turn it upon yourself" 

"The divine masculine naturally embodies the aspect of GOD. The divine feminine the aspect of (feminine) LOVE and HEART.  Both need to be honored."

"You have to bring the teaching down to earth. Walk your talk. Identifying the self as God and the other as God shows up differently in reality. 'God and love'."

Love is Sublime Gaze.  'God' is Life.  Sublime Gaze turned upon yourself or the other. 

You can see these ideals playing out in the public sphere in terms of the integration of masculine and feminine, narcissism and empath (super empath)

 

Edited December 26, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

On 10/8/2022 at 0:39 AM, Proserpina said:

Yang - Life energy

The world had grown cold.  Depressed.  I could feel it.  The planet was full of Life energy at the expense of Breath. Difficult to explain. The collective had become narcissistic (Life energy) due to too much Breath.  Without Breath Life energy started to drain.  Then there was a calling for Breath. The rebalancing involved the balance of Life energy and Breath. There were individuals who came forward who had the qualities required for the collective to have hope, love, and faith again.  Not saying I am some kind of savior but I have always had access to a level of consciousness where I could Breathe Life energy into things, where I was warmth and fullness.  Maybe in spite of my fool archetype or maybe because of it.  I don't know.  When the individuals came forward the rebalancing of the planet occurred.  I required Life energy to be heard, which my communications with my unconscious/entities provided. 

Pandora (Breath) opened pandora's box by Breathing too much Life energy.  Life energy (collective/masculine) then became stagnant, narcissistic, and self-worshipping.  Life energy is seeming perfection, not in need of Breath.  Blind to its own limitation.  Love created the Evil of this world. 

You can see The Origination Story play out in relationships between men and women.  Women are Breath and men are Life energy. 

Love and Life or 'God and Love' are also ever-present qualities with us, right now.  They are either in balance or they are not.  They are either full or weak.  Frequently weaker in the non-heavenly sphere and strong in the heavenly sphere.  In the above example, there was a fullness of Life and not a lot of Love, due to too much Love.  There were half angels (fallen angels).  Lucifer is an example of a half-angel, full of Life and not Love. 

Edited December 26, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Sublime gaze turned toward the self brings the self to Life.   Love brings you to Life.  Be your own fairy godmother.  In reality, the fairy godmother is a sublime gaze reflected back in dreams and visions or purposefully.  I see it in words, dreams, visions, and imagination.  I would often say that a small creature would remain small until they transformed themselves through dreams and visions of their hidden sublime gaze reflected back to them.  

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Meditation for sublime gaze

Meditation stops thought which releases resistance and so sublime gaze can fully emerge, what I would call 'beautiful energies' but in actuality was sublime gaze in full.  You can then, from that stance, turn your gaze, on yourself and transform yourself, bringing yourself to Life through Love.  I would experience visions during Jhanic activation.  

Edited December 27, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

I think it's particularly tricky when you are under some kind of guardianship or dependency on deeply unconscious people.  It can be truly debilitating and disabling.  I've tried every trick in the book.  Your body will still burn up with a fight or flight response in unsafe conditions even when you don't act on it.  It's easy to give solutions and ideas from afar but up front and personal it's a very difficult situation because your body is constantly betraying you and putting you in pain. I do face the pain, you can't not face the pain. Either you act out from the flight or fight (which is what most narcissists learn to do from their narcissistic parents) or you face it and let it burn through you.  Take the high road, as Matt Kahn would say.   Remain soft and open.  Not bitter. It's still highly debilitating and disabling.  To act out the fight or flight,  would be the easy way out. 

That said, venting and emotional breakdowns will occur inevitably as a result of the above.  Preferably not publicly but sometimes publicly.  You have to have the right attitude and gentleness to be able to deal with such a problem, that comes up over and over and over.  It's grating on the nerves.  How do you deal with such a problem?  I've found that if you can view it from the angle of it being contrast when leading with the general/meditation/joy then you are coming from the 5th step in Abraham Hick's paradigm which is enjoying the contrast.  And you can apply this to any contrast, as long as you are leading with the general.

Edited December 28, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Quote

I turned back to look at him and he took my hands in his and placed a small windup monarch butterfly in the center of my palms and closed my fingers over it.  "I made this for you."  He explained.  "Sometimes the smallest things have the greatest influence, such as the movement of a butterfly's wings."...... I looked out at all the people, took the butterfly that I had in my hand and wound it up before throwing it out towards the crowd.  Its mechanical wings caught the air and it flew amongst them, just above everyone and remained mostly unnoticed. - Loba

 

[Proserpina]

When you have intellectual weaknesses and deficits and spiritual strengths the most important thing is to rely on your strengths and to drop your weaknesses mostly I've learned.  Although you can sure up your weaknesses in your spare time, it's best to rely most on and lead by your strengths.  My strength lies in spirituality and my weakness lies in intellectual prowess and understanding.  If I focus too much on my weaknesses I get burnt.  When I focus on my strengths I am successful.    

[Proserpina]

When sublime gaze is reflected back to you and you are brought to Life your intelligence raises.  Hence why it is best for a small being to focus on their strengths.  Seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything else will follow.  Sublime gaze or Love is often gifted to someone close to Death or Death Energy, I think (a small being can be a being close to Death).  Someone who knows Life and Death, who is well acquainted with Life energy and Death energy.  Death has a purifying effect.   

[Proserpina]

Speaking in tongues

Speaking in tongues is leading with your strengths (spirituality) while perhaps having an intelligence or understanding deficit fundamentally, even while Life runs through you.  I think an intelligence or understanding deficit is common for a small being or Death energy acquainted being.  You have two ways you can approach it, overcoming a deficit: leading with your strength and boosting your Life energy. 

[Proserpina]

Death energy

I've literally been acquainted with and shaped by Death energy over the last few years, in smells and visions.  You have to rely on sublime gaze to get through with streams of Life energy flowing to you.  Streams of Life energy in visions and in smells.  I thought something was wrong with me to be fronted with Death energy like that.  But I realize now the meek's path was familiar with Death energy from the start and he was made for spiritual purification and mastery over Life and Death. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Overcoming Death energy 

Death energy can be overcome by directing sublime gaze toward it.  Life or Love defeats Death.  I have overcome Death several times from Death energy (in the dream it would have looked like dehydration or starvation death) directed toward me, burning up and I overcame it by allowing the Death energy to purify me and directing sublime gaze toward it.  Something (perhaps the universe, perhaps God) was challenging me to overcome and master Death. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Mum

You took the burden of Death energy from me when it was too great for me.  You absorbed it all.  All the Death energy that I would absorb into my body would transfer to you, for some inexplicable reason.  You took it all from me.  Because the greater part of you loved me.  I'm sorry for doubting your love. 

[Proserpina]

Where is this in the spiritual community?  It's sorely missing.  I only really see it in dreams and visions. I guess be the change you wish to see?:

"I am the way and the truth and the life."

"The thief cometh not but to steal and to kill and to destroy. I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

"but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."

"So I have come down to deliver them from the power of the Egyptians, and to bring them up from that land to a good and spacious land, to a land flowing with milk and honey" 

Edited December 29, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

A voice was speaking to me in a dream last night.  The voice alleged to be me and alleged that I set up the whole encounter beforehand.  It answered all my questions (I don't remember a lot of the encounter).  It told me that I had some schizophrenia sometimes.  It told me that many of my experiences were real.  It told me to listen to ASMR, to loving entities.  I had an encounter with an 'entity' right after waking up in an ASMR video.  In the background was the word 'Bloom' (flowers are significant symbols for me). 

I had some 'delusional' thoughts after waking up and wrote them down.  After some time, grounding work, and meditation they passed.  I either grounded in actual reality or went back to 'sleep'.  One of my 'delusions' (?) is that God puts me to sleep.  

Edited December 31, 2022 by Proserpina