Proserpina's Journal

[Proserpina]

Exploring my sexuality 

I am a stifled, sexually repressed person.  Comes with the whole 'so/sp' territory.  Although I definitely know how to 'get myself off' to avoid any negative consequences usually. I know the right buttons to press.  I like surprising people with my sx side when it's obviously unexpected (being so/sp). I am attracted to sx dom types who can pull that aspect out of me.  Sx secondary also works too. Before I took 'damage' I was extremely sexual and playful and sx variant integrating.  The 'damage' wiped that out.  But I'll heal and move upward and eventually move back toward that place again.  

The 'Damage'

The damage sustained comes from channeling and having received psychic attacks during concealed energy work.  I utilized a lot of masculine energy during the energy work which resulted in psychic attacks.  Masculine energy is potent but attracts psychic attacks. The divine knows the correct proportions of masculine and feminine and sacrifice.  Growing in intimacy with the divine increases the likelihood of a channeling.  Receptive mode, impulses will move through you,  the 'call'.

Maynard

I have an obsession with Maynard James Keenan if anyone noticed.  I listen to his music nonstop.  His music guides my spiritual path.  His voice is pure sex.  I don't have any unhealthy twin flame fantasies born out of mental illness, don't worry.  However, his voice can drive home a oneness into my body and soul like no other.  He knows how to completely overwhelm my senses with spiritual euphoria on all levels.  Completely satisfied, sexually and spiritually without having even been touched.  

Sexual Variant and Growth

In all my mystical experiences I was encouraged to explore and integrate my sexual variant.  I'm very hesitant to explore sexuality.  It's in my shadow as a SO/SP.  I have done some heavy-duty integration work regarding my sexual variant and there is no going backward on this path, regardless of regression and damage.  My intuition pushed back the curtain on my sexuality and taught me the value of sexuality on the spiritual path.

Edited November 20, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

The Receptive mode

In the receptive mode, you will receive impulses from Spirit.  There are many archetypes that you will cover from the impulses that you receive from Spirit.  The divine balancing act.  There are the masculine and feminine.  There is the sx-variant or the seductress.  The maiden, the hero, the wise old man.  The Sword of Truth (masculine, energy work).  

Staying active

I am being driven to stay active on the forums/journalling section by higher forces.  If it was up to me I would be resting and taking a break.  In fact, hopefully, I will soon.  My posts have less depth recently.  I feel drained of insight.

Edited November 22, 2022 by Proserpina

[thisintegrated]

2 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

I am being driven to stay active on the forums/journalling section by higher forces.  If it was up to me I would be resting and taking a break. 

Never been called that before.  I will take it as a compliment?

[Proserpina]

Quote

INFJs aren't sensitive, they're angry at what they perceive as injustice and rebel against authority.  They're often journalists or activists who want to bring awareness to a worthy cause.

INFPs are sensitive and don't like to make a scene or stir shit up.  They'll keep their mouth shut and write books about a better world instead.

- thisintegrated

Concealed 'energy' work (INFP) vs Unconcealed work (INFJ). 

Behind the scenes (INFP) vs Chart the Course (INFJ)

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by Proserpina

[Razard86]

On 8/11/2022 at 8:49 AM, Proserpina said:

Here's a pretty picture I took a few months ago.  

Very beautiful picture.

[thisintegrated]

59 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Very beautiful picture.

???

 

MBTI: ✅

SD: ✅

Instinct: ✅

Enneagram: ✅

Physiognomy: ✅

???

Edited November 21, 2022 by thisintegrated

[Proserpina]

4 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Very beautiful picture.

You're very kind.  Thank you.

Edited November 21, 2022 by Proserpina

[thisintegrated]

Just now, Proserpina said:

You're both very kind.  Thank you.

If you're curious, Physiognomy is face reading.  It's like MBTI, but unlike all other models uses selfies to type people.

[Proserpina]

6 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

If you're curious, Physiognomy is face reading.  It's like MBTI, but unlike all other models uses selfies to type people.

Oh cool!  So my physicality fits my typing structure?  Interesting. 

[thisintegrated]

9 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

Oh cool!  So my physicality fits my typing structure?  Interesting. 

I meant simply we now have a full picture of you, which is rare.  For most people it's only possible to type them in one or two models.

But yeah, without fail, faces always match the personality.  Even Carl and everyone else here.

It seems wrong to judge by appearances, but nothing is isolated.  Appearance is the outward manifestation of what's inside.

People's facial features even change over years/decades to represent the smallest changes in personality.

 

It's simple, but much harder to study than MBTI, and there's a lot of data to remember.  It's almost as complex as astrology.

Edited November 21, 2022 by thisintegrated

[Proserpina]

11 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

I meant simply we now have a full picture of you, which is rare.  For most people it's only possible to type them in one or two models.

But yeah, without fail, faces always match the personality.  Even Carl and everyone else here.

It seems wrong to judge by appearances, but nothing is isolated.  Appearance is the outward manifestation of what's inside.

People's facial features even change over years/decades to represent the smallest changes in personality.

 

It's simple, but much harder to study than MBTI, and there's a lot of data to remember.  It's almost as complex as astrology.

I think VI (visual identification in socionics) is very much based on intuition and feel for an individual.  I always get the functions correct but in the wrong order.  Fe - Ti feels sharp, cutting, and a little intimidating to my little Fi, for example. 

[thisintegrated]

37 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

I think VI (visual identification in socionics) is very much based on intuition and feel for an individual.

Yep.  I put this together a while back.

But physiognomy takes it to another level.  The thickness and shape of someone's eyebrows/ears/etc. alone can be usable information.

 

Quote

I always get the functions correct but in the wrong order.  Fe - Ti feels sharp, cutting, and a little intimidating to my little Fi, for example. 

Makes sense.  Affiliative types look out for their "in groups".  While this sounds nice, affiliativism is what's solely responsible for all nepotism and patriarchy in the world.  Pragmatic types seem cold to you, but that's because they'll always do what's right, and will tell you you're wrong or you're not qualified for something because they value truth and fairness above all.

Leo/Atheistic = INTJ = don't lie = the idealists think they're assholes

thisintegrated = ENTP = doesn't lie = the idealists think he's an asshole

And hence the creation of AoB by Nahm (or whoever else), an ENFJ, an affiliative idealist who wants an "in group".

 

I seem to have unintentionally summed this up perfectly, lol.  I keep doing this?.  This is the first time these insights have been made known, even to me.  I hope Faith sees this, and @Carl-Richard/@AtheisticNonduality too, as it's quite significant and educational.

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by thisintegrated

[Carl-Richard]

@thisintegrated Legit Hancock vibes 

[Tyler Robinson]

How can Hitler be sage? 

[thisintegrated]

13 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

How can Hitler be sage? 

What else is he?

He was a man of ideology, first and foremost.

 

31 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

@thisintegrated Legit Hancock vibes 

Someone doesn't like being called out

Edited November 21, 2022 by thisintegrated

[Carl-Richard]

14 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

Someone doesn't like being called out

The conceptual house of cards, the conceptual Han of Cock ?

[Proserpina]

@Razard86 Do you happen to know your MBTI and Enneagram type?

[thisintegrated]

1 hour ago, Proserpina said:

@Razard86 Do you happen to know your MBTI and Enneagram type?

Challenge accepted.

 

Well that was weird.  Dude's Yellow.  Haven't seen one in a while.

My guess:  Yellow INTP 3w2 (unconscious ENTJ focus)

 

Can't rule out INTJ with developed Ne, but he's an informative type, so NTP is more likely.  Also know nothing of his background, so enneagrams 3w2 and 5w6 are similarly likely.  Leaning towards 3w2 now, but wings may be balanced.

Tier 2s have well developed unconscious functions, so it's hard to be sure without interacting with them.

Also INTP slightly more likely than ENTP.  Not enough enthusiasm and randomness for ENTP, but he's in his 30s-40s, which could account for this.

Facial analysis suggests:  Exxx unlikely, xxFx unlikely, Ni likely.  Too low res to figure out more.

Edited November 22, 2022 by thisintegrated

[Proserpina]

Yin energy

Yin energy rarely stands out.  She gives it all away, her praise, her attention, her everything.  She isn't really anything 'special'.  Its only when the masculine moves through her that she might even have her moment at her ball.  Spirit and the protection from the masculine is her only hope of that.  She wishes for nothing.  She is contented in her 'behind the scenes' nature.  She can move energy unconcealed here and make an impact.

Smoothing out sharp edges

When the masculine is particularly harsh, the feminine can be used to 'smooth' out the masculine.  If the masculine has an overly sharp, cutting edge, feminine energy is used to ease that energy.  If the energy is not reduced it can escalate.  A sharp edge is an indication, a sign of what is to come.  The sharp edge is a type of premonition for the collective.  

Sharp edges

Sharp edges can be premonitions for possible collective catastrophe.  The 'feminine' can ease these edges.  The 'feminine' in this case is obviously in quotations and may be the case of just an awakened being.  The 'feminine' uses the sword of truth and both concealed energy work and unconcealed energy work.   Sharp edges could be the energies that I sense around me at times (keys, cars, electronics, etc.).  The 'feminine' can ease the 'masculine' that has sharp edges. 

No-fap

I'm attempting to practice this.  Usually, it's easy but recently I've been surrounded by the masculine (outside the forum), triggering me to go into heat.  I think other masculines have noticed (to be blunt).  Perfect for my spiritual practice.  The perfect combination is masculine presence, extreme yin activation, and no-fap to activate sexual energy. I want to activate sexual energy for healing the collective, the smoke, intuitive activation, and whatever else sexual energy is used for. 

Compatibility 

From past experience, sexual energy is better and more sustainable when it comes from a deeper place.  A resonance.  Spiritual and pioneering compatibility.  Your usual run-of-the-mill attraction hardly suffices.  It has to run deep. 

Edited November 23, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

I can see the green light. 

Pray.