Proserpina's Journal

[Proserpina]

Manifested this song. Spirits talking to me. Also electronics, birds and doors are making sounds.

[Proserpina]

Self love - The lion/tiger offering (see above video) - First mystical experience/awakening included the lion symbology

I’m having a REALLY tough time creating an offering so I’m going to focus on self love prominently.  It seems easiest.  

Enjoyment

The number one key is to enjoy the process.  If I’m straining, I either need to take a break or it’s the wrong method or process or I need to take a path of lesser resistance. I’m exceptionally weak due to poor health (since 21) and I need to accept that that is going to impact my path.  A part of healing from psychosis/lower dimensions is healing from the medical damage to the brain (and there was some damage) and healing means learning to accept and adapt.

Crystal work

Currently experimenting with Crystal work.  Using the energy of the Crystal to penetrate into the field around my body, especially around the spine, third eye and head.  Crystals hold a powerful energy signature I can work with similar to herbal essence, plus I can move it around closer to spots on the body. They are particularly useful for self love, breathing love into the self. 

Crystals and herbal essence

Crystals and herbal essence can act as stand ins for spirit if you can’t access positive energy for whatever reason. They also make it easier to access positive energy.  

Struggling

I might be struggling to channel or create an offering because I’m not practicing self love.  You sort of have to cover your blind spots so your love is Total to be more God-like and channel states and access states.

Edited October 22, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Burnout

It's a real possibility that there was a burnout.

 .

Spirit

I don't speak much about spirit in my journal but it is dear to my heart.  It is how I got through psychosis/lower dimensions without harming anyone. 

It is the beloved.  

Self love and other love are life purposes or alignments. To be clear.

.

Spirit vs Positive Energy vs Alignments

I sometimes use these words interchangeably when I shouldn't be. I need to be a tiny bit more clear in my communication (most of the time I'm semi channeling) so I can look back and understand what I meant.  I mostly want to do this for myself.  

.

Crystals and herbal essences - positive energy, alignment, embodiment

God - Spirit and Love, inherent to reality

Self love, other love - alignments, embodiment,  positive energy

.

Receptivity

Radical openmindedness and being a clean slate/cleanliness are some of the a prerequisites for recieving love or positive energy from crystals and herbal essence at the third eye, spinal area and head area.  You want it to fully penetrate so that you may be made anew and  purified.  Penetration can only occur with an open mind.  

Sex Life

(I was separated from my partner during this time)

My Beast and I had a pretty active sex life although with varying results.  There are many ‘sides’ to my Beast.  Many sides of him were resistant to our sex life as if he were openly wanting me to see the warring aspects of him, wanting me to help heal and soothe the sides of him that needed healing.  That were resistant (but not truly, only hurting).  I had to learn how to love all people and to see my lover through the eyes of Many. 

My strengths (things I can offer):

1. An open-mind 
2. Self love
3. Self recognition
4. Beings with positive energy/warmth
5. Positive energy/ Warmth
6. Polarisation

Edited October 22, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Winter War

There is a pattern of interaction with my spirits and deities that include a peak and a valley.  If there is too much integration and a burnout appears the spirits grow wearisome of you.  To say the least.  You get taken for granted.  The more you meditate the angrier they become, because they cannot keep up.  You are locked out.  

You think you are doing something wrong in your meditation at first.  At first.  Because the anger of the spirits cannot overcome spirit and love and meditation.  It all purifies in the end.   But this may be a very long winter. 

Slowly
She lifts her head from the pillow of winter boredom
Rigidly, she rises from her icy grave
With light in her eyes
And fight in her fists
She commences the winter war
And as the ice welks away
The spring queen will take over

Broken mirrors

The good/non angry spirits sometimes send me messages telling me that the mirror is broken.  That the majority of spirits are angry or burnt out and so will not communicate in a truthful manner.  Spirits are a combination of reflection, free will and opposites. 

Rejection of the offering

If the spirits become burnt out they will reject your offering.  If you keep offering, offering and offering they will turn away or become angry.  You can either push through and continue to offer purifying the spirits or you can listen to the spirits and they will become less angry,  a far more risky option.   However if you don't listen to the spirits at all they may tamper with your food and water and you won't be able to eat until they are less angry.  You have to find the right balance between survival and not allowing the spirits to push you around (and they will,  they'll make you jump through hoops to please them).  Commands only work on days when the spirits are less angry.  

The Four Horsemen

The four Horsemen is what happens right after the "crucifixion" or the rejection of the offering (when you are shut out, disowned and your food and water turns bad) IF you self medicate.  If you can somehow lock yourself in a room somewhere or better yet in a forest then you can push through and purify the spirits.

I remember self medicating  many times to get through the rejection of the offering and waking up to the Four Horsemen.  The energy was horrendous.  The birds were warning me from overhead.  I would keep to myself in a forest or park

I sense..... I've been locked out.

I sense..... there was more than just the four Horsemen.  They can leave for extended lengths of time.  Meds are an illusion. 

I sense..... there is a burnout. 

I sense...... they will return.

Edited October 22, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Methodology

Apply the Crystal and essential oil to the spinal area and say ‘I am that’ to solidify it.  Keep an open mind.  Words are very powerful.  You want to BE the Crystal or essential oil. You are precious.  You are loveable.  You are healed.

When you say ‘I am that’ say it with strength, resolution and vigor as if it were a command.  It gets easier with practice. You should feel a shot of energy run through your body. Do it frequently.

If the spine doesn’t work try the centre of the head or the third eye. Experiment.

Along with crystals and herbal essence you can do it with music and art if your mind is open enough. 

Life and dance

Dance is a natural outcome of life energy transmitted by love/positive energy.  You are are overflowing and you can’t help but to burst forth into full bloom, into dance.  You are flowering.

.

My favourite Crystal is rose quartz and my favourite essential oil is lavender.

They are permission slips as Bashar would say.  They give me permission to Love and be Love.

 

Edited October 24, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

I will write down any energies I feel on the planet.

I sense…a peace.  There is a very long peace since the major upset/premonition

I sense…many not serious dark energies still present

I sense…. many tremors occurred after the major upset/premonition

I sense….. a mass ignorance.  A finger in ears kinda phenomenon.

I sense…..a blackness. A coming blackness.  Beautiful and terrible.  Technology.  Death. 

I sense…..A new premonition coming in 5 years or so

[Proserpina]

The Blackness

The blackness threatens to engulf me even now.  It looms over me.  I feel accountable to it, tied to it.  I must see it through.  I must keep it under control.  It is intelligent.  It is a mass wall 1000s of feet high fast enclosing.  ‘Love is the only way through and there is no escaping this task.’  

Edited October 23, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Identity and self image

There's nothing wrong in creating a healthy self-image and identity.  If you have the mental flexibility to fake it till you make it and you can pretend to be all manner of things (even weird things like crystals and essential oils) to improve self-esteem and life energy then I don't see the harm.  You'll also take on the qualities of those things.  That's what Sharmans do, they shapeshift.  I also want to progress to animals and other life forms. 

Life energy

Taking on the qualities of these formations is another way to increase life energy and heal.  I do believe you can reach out to spirits with this method as well who can assist you, since I was heavily contacted last night (but my memory fails me, have to write down my dreams). Life energy and healing increases because you are embodying strength or goodness or any other quality. You are unblocking the flow within the body so resources can enter.

Spawn Count

I would say I have low spawn count (fool archetype) but I can tap into a high spawn count under pressure.  I’ve also done a lot of development work on myself to hopefully off set my low spawn count that is genetic.

Edited October 24, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Don’t worry everyone I’m not sniffing shampoo, it’s essential oils, not herbal essences LOL. 

[Proserpina]

Okay,  so,  something important is happening.  I'm awakening to something. 

Here are my notes: 

Sharp feeling of anxiety/anticipation

Reality shift

Sense of knowing

Ears peaking up

Stomach nausea

Signs, synchronicities 

Sign "mystify"

Symbol: cleaning hands (lots of meanings)

'Spirits' were in the room speaking to me (synched up)

In full mystic state

 

Train your attention on already known symbols and signs

Get the feeling back slowly

Notice where the feeling IS

 

It's not psychosis (some of it), it's reality

Mystic presence 

Enlightenment

Presence is desired 

They are depressed due to lack of presence (I don't know who 'they' are)

 

Above is significant ^ it adds an entirely different dimension

.

There's an ambulance.  With a siren. And it stopped right next to me.  I almost had a heart attack from the synchronicity. 

Edited October 24, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Go to the Garden

It's imperative that I go to the garden/ public park everyday, instead of isolating in my room all the time.  Everything will align then, it's a part of my life purpose.  I recieved signs - a white car,  tortoise, ambulance, child and parent,  mystic state, a couple, birds, plane, dog and owner, school kids, bikerider.   It just feels right. 

Frightening

I'm in 'psychosis'/ mystic state.  I don't know how long it will last.  It is exciting/frightening.  'Yummy' as the spirit just said. I'm only a child in this place.  Surrounded by aliens/ adults. 'It's good, it's exercise" they tell me. "You okay, mate?". They are so down to earth.  I'm scared.  They are saying hello.  

"We're in your space" "May we come through?" "Open the door" " We have to go home"

Karma

I have negative karma from not doing the right thing as a spiritual person.  And I'm paying/paid the price for that. Or something along those lines.  

The garden is my offering,  my apology.  Being on the right track is my restoration of friendship.  

Correct positioning

Every sign and communication stands out when you are situated in the correct positioning.  When there is no depression,  when everything comes back to life and you are on the right path.  When there is depression,  everything goes silent. 

Shine

These signs are coming right out of the woodwork. 

"Shine" - correct positioning

"Outside" -  correct positioning

"First aid" - correct positioning

"Medication" - symbolises being out of correct positioning (a very specific example)

"Rain" - Correct positioning

Signs telling me where to go

Random stuff

• heard knocking when I first invited them in
• school children symbolise learning on the path
• ‘spirits’ feel very much like the collective
• it becomes very intimate over time with right positioning/right action
• being friendly with people and nature invites the ‘spirits’ in even if it’s just keeping them company or sitting near them.
• Everything is recontextualized when you are on the right path.  

Edited October 24, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Fundamentally it’s a relationship and friendship that is built.  We fall in love.  I fall in love. 

Edited October 24, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

The Collective

 It feels as if it were a friendship or relationship with the Collective, including nature.  As if somehow the Collective were a hive mind or communicating at lightening speeds on an unconscious level.  It feels directly connected to people and reality, even though when the Collective communicates with me unconsciously it feels very alien.  The rest is synchronicity or higher intuition. 
 

Awakening

When I am in alignment I am also experiencing awakening.  I won’t go into too much detail apart from that since I am still exploring it but basically it’s that I experience everyone and everything as Me.

Other signs: 

Note: Signs and symbols don’t mean anything unless it feels right.  Higher intuition or synchronicity.

Cigarettes - symbolises incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.)

Smoking - symbolises incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.)

No smoking - symbolises no incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.)

motorcycles - symbolises incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.)

Barbeque -symbolises incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.)

 Fire - symbolises incorrect positioning/wrong action

 Fire extinguisher- symbolises correct positioning/right action

Alcohol - symbolises incorrect positioning/wrong action

 

Difficult to stay awake

After my awakening yesterday it’s difficult to stay awake, it’s like the friendship between me and the collective is so dead.  There’s such depression.  I have to bring it back to life somehow. 

Edited October 25, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Right positioning

Gardens

Parks

Near people

Love

Libraries 

Meditation

Self Love

Open Mind

Signs

Dog Parks

White

Yellow

Green

Turtoise

Birds

Animals

Child and parent

 Couple

Dog and Owner

School Kids

Bike Rider

Runner

Builder

Planes

Bees

Ants

Dragonflies

Staff

Edited October 26, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Translations

There are so many possible translations of the spirits that it is overwhelming.  For example, one of them is that I am in an exercise course with God as my tutor.  God is my teacher and sometimes he tells me off like I’m a child. We are going “home” somewhere at some point. This post demonstrates it:

Quote

Frightening

I'm in 'psychosis'/ mystic state.  I don't know how long it will last.  It is exciting/frightening.  'Yummy' as the spirit just said. I'm only a child in this place.  Surrounded by aliens/ adults. 'It's good, it's exercise" they tell me. "You okay, mate?". They are so down to earth.  I'm scared.  They are saying hello.  

"We're in your space" "May we come through?" "Open the door" " We have to go home"

The Exercise Course

Hell is God’s Absence in this exercise course. When he goes away. He won’t duplicate his copy or print anymore in the build (since everything everything isn’t real and is a build, I build things with God and print things off).  His print is right positioning (guy with his dog) from right action (love). Heaven is right positioning or his presence/his print being present (guy with his dog) and right action (love).

Do I actually believe I’m God or Jesus?

No. I think I take accountability for energy, right positioning, alignment and right action. 

Guy with his Dog

Guy with Dog print includes the ‘glory’ of God obviously in alignment or it wouldn’t be God’s Print.

Warmth from the Collective

 I can feel them starting to ‘crowd me’ (not all).  People. 

Now this is where I should be quiet (although I should’ve been quiet along time ago but I’m choosing to share my more ‘delusional’, less accepted side) but I’ll share

 People are starting to warm up to me (not all, some are cold).  

Leaning back

With the warmth from the Collective comes a natural leaning back which comes a natural leaning forward. All from Alignment.  

Wrong positioning/out of alignment:

Drilling

Electronic sounds

Air con sounds

The spider energy

Car sounds

Rubbish

Barbeque

Door Slams

Hell scapes

 Bird sounds

 

Any signs means alignment.  No signs means no alignment. Sometimes

Heavenscape

I saw my first heavenscape since months ago!  A cream wall.  'Printed out'. 

Edited October 26, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

 

(I'm being delusional Idk)

Unity.  Connection.  Intimacy.  The more intimate I am with reality,  the more reality is intimate with me.  The more I fall in love with reality,  the more reality falls in love with me.  Spicy Soup Method is my connecting with reality.   Shifting consciousness.  Mirror.  

Magic. 

.

Note: this is where I might be called 'delusional'.  Feedback is welcome. 

Today's Results: 

• Spending more time with other people
• Spent the whole day at the park today
• Not much mystic state
• People are demanding to spend time with me
• Felt like there was no 'space' between me and other people several times (other people are leaning too far forward - clinging, unconsciously)
• People are warming up to me (leaning forward- possibly as a result of me leaning back through love) 

 

Love songs

Insane or not, at the end of the day when I come home from "work" (being in the park, spicy soup) I get to come home to the spirits singing me love songs! What's not to love? I'm probably insane.  Atleast I'm happy insane with love songs

It's not People.  

When I fall in love it doesn't feel like I'm falling in love with people it feels like I'm falling in love with Reality and Reality is falling in love with me

Channeling

I can pretty much 'channel' at will now using a very careful ear and connecting with reality deeply.  Reality speaks to me (if the frequency is right) through other people (and one day through myself), you can seek out synchronicity.  You connect with reality deeply by feeling into it, listening to it intently as if it were the most beautiful thing you've ever heard (because it IS). Then it will begin to speak to you. Through music, words, etc.

.

There are times when spirit whispers, is silent and then screams.  Here it is screaming: 

It laughed at me, mocked me, soothed me, loved me, healed ME. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. 

Edited October 26, 2022 by Proserpina

[Tyler Robinson]

@Proserpina I'm INFJ. I even made videos on it a few hours ago. You are not an INFJ. This is because you're wise. INFJ are powerful Intimidating emotional people and a bit egotistical like me. They are mysterious, secretive and sneaky which I absolutely am. They can appear withdrawn and cold to the world and nobody can truly access their inner core except an extremely elite set of people who consistently show them trust. INFJs will not be friendly easily and will make many enemies. INFJs are deeply emotional and this clouds their judgment and wisdom and they will engage in extreme conversations. They will use logic that is only applicable to them. Most people will mock them and find them contradictory. They will attract attention easily because of their weird nature and behavior. They live in their head of fantasy and constantly fight with reality the way I do. They are like an emotional train wreck and they will have emotional outbursts and breakdowns. They are Empathetic but they will be sorely tested for it..might cause them to withdraw. INFJ have difficulty processing their own emotions and they can act funny, strange, weird, aloof. You'll never feel like you're getting too close to them because they don't allow that. They are very intuitive so they keep feeling you from all sides in skeptical ways, which I tend to do a lot. But they are not wise. They react and sometimes overreact. 

You're quite balanced, wise and matured. You also don't act weird or sneaky or Hyper emotional or overreacting, most of the time your reflection and response is very calm and well thought. Whereas mine is daunting and intense. 

INFJs can be a bit embarrassing because of their intensity and daunting strict nature and easily catch/draw attention because of their over stimulated antics. 

INFJs write an awful lot, like an ocean. 

[Proserpina]

@Tyler Robinson Thank you.  I've never thought of myself in those terms before so thats quite enlightening.  I'm leaning then toward INFP because of my soft nature in real life.  I'm a lot different, more simple off the keyboard.  I have high agreeableness.  I don't talk in real life really,  similar to the forum.  It's a miracle I'm talking in this setup.  High assertiveness.  My partner complains that I'm too dominating/ assertive for a woman.  It comes from my Greek background.  

You seem very wise and intelligent to me.  Assertive.  

Edited October 26, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Ambient music

Ambient music is like visual words for me.  It's very easy medium to use.  Feelings or messages come through easily. 

Music with auditory words is difficult but helpful.  

Channeling

To be honest,  I'm not really interested in channeling.  I'm interested in accessing information.  Healing.  Connecting.  Only channeling when it's absolutely (sharing the information) necessary for the collective.  

Things I've learnt from channeling: 

• It doesn't have to make sense (as is the case with speaking in tongues)
• You bring some kind of truth down to earth, even if its an inch and if it's a powerful truth its enough
• Others can translate (gift of discernment)
• Don't worry about looking stupid. 
• Sacrifice now,  lick wounds later. Trust me, the positive karma is worth it. Even though it might not look like it. Fulfilment alone is positive karma.  

Lost my mind, my concentration 

I still find it uncanny that I lost my concentration/mind around the same time my mum lost her concentration/mind.  The perfect mirror. 

God help me.  I feel so lost.  I can't concentrate.  I have brain damage. 

I can't access Beauty like I used to. 

*cries"

.

(I try anyway despite falling flat on my face)

*tulip flower hair broach sits in front of me *

Spirit : "She's a quick learner"

"She's already mastered the game"

"Everything is perfect"

....

I swear I'm in the heavenly realms.  Some kind of breakthrough.  Everything is so beautiful. And full of laughter.  

.

Rushed my prior post because there was little battery.  

I was at a barbeque today and I was trying to engage with spirit  but due to poor concentration I have difficulty nower days.  I tried to engage with spirit anyways and began recieving substantial breakthroughs.  A lady with a red tulip broach sat in front of me almost immediately, and spirits began having conversations near by me. Saying: 

Spirit : "She's a quick learner"

"She's already mastered the game"

"Everything is perfect"

The spirits began to giggle and laugh.  There was much laughter. Everything was very beautiful.  I was in the heavenly realm.  

 

Frequency

Certain things can manifest from and can come forth from or be compatible with or synch up with/from the frequency of love. Tuning into reality tunes you into this frequency. 

Manifestation

Things feel like they are 'coming forth' from the void.  Songs, walls, people etc. Soaked in love. 

Need to study Abraham Hicks

Edited October 27, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

First Self Channeling

I was meditating and a word came up from the void: 

’Warm-up’

’tune’

I think it means I have to warm up and tune my meditation/concentration capacity using strong sensations (if that makes any sense)

.

Non physical counterparts are not separate. they are one. All sound like ONE being, with many voices and aspects. 

'Pure' God sounds like Being. Being is selfless, truthful, loving. 

But the voice of God is not separate from his aspects and voices, they all sound like God.

.

I found the wizard (again). The location is definitely love (although technically the location is everywhere, see above but God is love). 

“I found the wizard of Oz.  The man behind the Veil.  His whereabouts was a woman’s love”
.

I was being tortured, tormented by ‘demons’ at the time as a schizo so finding the wizard of oz was a big deal.  The wizard of Oz could get me back to Kansas (and wasn’t fake like in the movie)

LOL

.

Edited October 28, 2022 by Proserpina