Proserpina's Journal

[Proserpina]

Narcissists are immature service to self.  They've made a conscious choice to serve themselves and they recognize a part of reality to be God but they do it in a way where they lose in the end and suffer.  

If they realised that harming others,  harms themselves,  which they do eventually because they are polarised,  they would stop.  

[Proserpina]

"I think both viewpoints are dysfunctional. They assume STS and STO are in conflict. But are they really?

Where does STS ultimately lead?

What would happen if you were to fully embrace the STS path and take it as far as you possibly could? What would be the most selfish life you could possible imagine? What’s the greatest pleasure you can think of?"

"What is the greediest path you can take? I think if you answer this question deeply enough, you’ll find that it’s also a path filled with service. What is the path of greatest service? Is it not also a path marked by great pleasure?"

"

Think of it like this. We human beings are all individual cells in a larger body. The darkworker path is to devote your life to doing what’s best for your own individual cell. The lightworker path is to do what’s best for the whole body. As you, the individual cell, become more aware (i.e. smarter), you will eventually recognize that these two paths lead to the same place. A healthy body cannot exist without healthy cells, and vice versa.

At lower levels of consciousness, these two paths seem distinct because the individual cell doesn’t yet have the understanding to know what’s truly best for itself or for the whole body. So it makes a lot of foolish decisions and mistakes. The darkworker cell competes with other cells, taking resources from them as needed to ensure its own survival, thinking that’s a smart way to get ahead. But then other cells suffer, and the body suffers as well. Eventually there’s a backlash against the darkworker cell to preserve the health of the body. It gets punished for hurting the body. This is what I call Darkworker Syndrome. It’s what happens when a darkworker simply isn’t aware enough to recognize that his/her own good and the good of all are inseparably linked."

Steve Pavlina

Edited June 11, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

The lightworker has to learn to work with the physical and the body.  

A darkworker has to learn to work with non physical and the whole.  

Edited June 11, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Solution to poor concentration: 

• aim for better rather than perfect
• aim for better rather than positive
• aim for neutral rather than positive
• aim for better short moments rather than perfect long moments of relief
• serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.
• Mindfulness of the body is enough,  especially along the spine and head
• Use a blank object along spine and head

Edited June 11, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

The feminine needs to learn to lean her energy back. She can do this two ways: 

1. Unpolarizing sometimes

2. Integrating the body/ working on her individual cell. Channelling all her energy into service to self

[Proserpina]

Taking God personally is almost always accidental,  not purposeful. 

One of the most beautiful and selfless and Godlike people I've ever met (RIP Martha) had schizophrenia who heard people supposedly talking to her through the radio etc. and took awakening personally. 

Your demonization of her and people like her reveals your character.  

 

Edited June 12, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

@Gesundheit Mine was mostly caused by cognitive disadvantages. You are essentially calling people who have cognitive disadvantages stupid and stage red (sinful).  Easy to do but where is your compassion?

I said earlier people fall into this assumption easily (including you) because the vulnerable are easy to scapegoat for your rage.  

[Gesundheit2]

@Proserpina Sorry. Comment removed. I was mostly talking about myself, to be honest. You are a great person.

[Proserpina]

@Gesundheit2 Thankyou. You're a great person too. 

Edited June 12, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

I might have gotten a little triggered.  

Anyhoo, hey, I love this song. 

This whole album really exemplifies STO for me and the compatible energies.  His gaze toward my body-mind/vessel causes my body-mind/ vessel to glow with love through his love.

Maynard has obviously done massive work on himself.  

[Proserpina]

Love you Jojo <3 Even though I can be difficult sometimes, I'll stay with you forever. I miss your journals. They were otherworldly and unlocked my spiritual abilities. Wish you were here.

Your higher self looks down on me still. I can feel him there. 

Edited June 12, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

About game:

it's about allowing in what is already flowing toward you. 

I know instantly when a person is compatible by how beautiful their overall energy is, and that overlap with *God's voice. It's about letting that energy penetrate you and flow over you. Maybe a little different for a guy. 

*God's voice means I'm super conscious that consciousness is talking to consciousness. No distortions. 

Edited June 12, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

The hero in the hero's journey gets the girl/guy in the end because true high consciousness is correlated with high attraction.  

"In a way ultra masculine (positive traits) = high consciousness masculine. Attraction is a by-product of higher consciousness. "

[Proserpina]

Attraction in high consciousness relationships is a training ground.  Especially when the honeymoon is over, otherwise called the twin flame journey.  You will try and try and try to get it back, to be enough and in that trying, you are being trained.  Eventually when you come across an ordinary person, your trying will appear superhuman because you've aimed so high.

Edited June 13, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

That's a part of being rational! The ability to be authentic and true while stepping back with low neuroticism when I would act inappropriately,  that's being rational. That resulted in a permanent shift in me. 

I truly understood then what it meant for the masculine to lead and the feminine to follow.  Most of the masculine already has low neuroticism developed. The masculine is like the sun and the feminine is the moon, she reflects the sun,  as Elliot Hulse states. She is molded. 

Extreme attraction (chemicals opening doors, awakening) mixed with that solution orientation, combined with a conscious masculine and a feminine who trusts him with her life and willing to follow is powerful.  The moon reflecting the sun.

Difficult to find that attraction though since a conscious ultra masculine is rare. 

.

Attraction is a doorway to higher interaction that coincides with high consciousness.  

Of course if the masculine has high negative masculine traits then that will also be attractive but less so to the feminine that is high consciousness.  

.

According to this video spirituality is: 

Being really nice to somebody even though you felt lousy yourself

If you ever chose to feel good when you could feel bad

If you ever find yourself recognising, yes I have something precious, even though there are other things I don't have. 

.

Sweet, cheerful, calm

.

Developed feminine is sweet, cheerful and calm. Masculine further balances out the calmness of the feminine.  That's the ideal, developed relationship.   She has to work on her calmness, just as the masculine has to work on his heart. 

I can pull this off like half the time and if I'm medicated. 

 

Edited June 13, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

A high consciousness masculine can effectively shift a surrendered feminine, shifting her toward high consciousness.  She can be shifted through leadership alone if attraction is present - which will be if the guy is high consciousness- and if the masculine uses a methodology of presence and absence.  Nothing passive aggressive or manipulative, just teaching the feminine when presence is appropriate and when absence is appropriate - effectively molding her.  

Edited June 13, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

I think that's a part of the emptiness. There's not really any one fully on my level.  To 'own' me so to speak and challenge me.

Except during my visions.  

Edited June 13, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Healing.  I'm gonna go up, up, up. It's not going to stop, I'm polarised. 

Only something drastic (like a psychosis) could hault it. 

Sweet, cheerful, calm.   Good different.  

Up, up, up. 

[Proserpina]

Song dedicated to my Mother who died last month from Brain cancer. Pink Floyd was her favourite band. 

I love you Mum. 

You survived two gruelling years.

Shine on mum.  You are with the Lord now. 

Her favourite bible verse she held onto until the end

Psalm 91

91 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;

10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

Edited June 13, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Mum, you were a master.  You were enlightened in the endeavours you undertook, even though sometimes you could be cruel.  You were brilliant and bright.  I miss you.  

Edited June 13, 2022 by Proserpina