Proserpina's Journal

[Proserpina]

17 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

and after all there is no one really here bar you right? so what pressure is there ... this is your world hah ... oh and thanks for invoking me

It's difficult to explain what love of truth is. It's not that you always act in alignment with it or that you even know what truth is.  

You can be the silliest person on the planet and have a love of truth. 

Edited October 6, 2021 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

It's just a deep love of truth.

You can be arrogant.  

You can be flawed.  

You can be ignorant. 

You can forget the truth.

You can have no understanding.  

 

But truth brings you so much joy, satisfaction, conviction and love. Mystical experiences are the norm.  

[gettoefl]

8 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

It's just a deep love of truth.

You can be arrogant.  

You can be flawed.  

You can be ignorant. 

You can forget the truth.

You can have no understanding.  

 

But truth brings you so much joy, satisfaction, conviction and love. Mystical experiences are the norm.  

i can't disagree truth is childlike innocent whimsical hilarious self deprecating non serious forgetful all is cool all that is trusting of the moment that is 

[gettoefl]

5 hours ago, Proserpina said:

How do you know you're enlightened:

Internal knowing-

Deep, deep love of truth

 

External knowing-

People surround you

People tell you you are pure and selfless

i would say, you stop wanting to be alive, but in a good way, you stop wanting to be known and simply want to know

like the song says better is one day in your presence than thousands elsewhere

[Proserpina]

1 hour ago, gettoefl said:

i would say, you stop wanting to be alive, but in a good way, you stop wanting to be known and simply want to know

like the song says better is one day in your presence than thousands elsewhere

I find this song describes it aswell

Here from the king's mountain view
Here from the wild dream come true
Feast like a sultan, I do
On treasures and flesh never few

But I, I would wish it all away
If I thought I'd lose you just one day

The devil and his had me down
In love with the dark side I'd found
Dabblin' all the way down
Up to my neck, soon to drown
But you changed that all for me
Lifted me up, turned me round

So I
I
I
I
I would
I would
I would
Wish this all away

Prayed like a martyr dusk to dawn
Begged like a hooker all night long
Tempted the devil with my song
And got what I wanted all along

But I
And I would
If I could
And I would
Wish it away
Wish it away
Wish it all away
Wanna wish it all away
No prize that could hold sway
Or justify my giving away my center

So if I could I'd wish it all away
If I thought tomorrow would take you away
You, my peace of mind, my all, my center
Just trying to hold on one more day

Damn my eyes!
Damn my eyes!
Damn my eyes if they should compromise the fulcrum
Wants and needs divide me then I might as well be gone

Shine on forever
Shine on benevolent sun
Shine down upon the broken
Shine until the two become one

Shine on forever
Shine on benevolent sun
Shine down upon the severed
Shine until the two become one

Divided, I'll wither away
Divided, I'll wither away
Shine down upon the many
Light our way, benevolent sun

Breathe in union
Breathe in union
Breathe in union
Breathe in union
Breathe in union
So as one survive
Another day and season
Silence, legion, save your poison
Silence, legion, stay out of my way

Edited October 6, 2021 by Proserpina

[gettoefl]

2 hours ago, Proserpina said:

I find this song describes it aswell

Here from the king's mountain view
Here from the wild dream come true
Feast like a sultan, I do
On treasures and flesh never few

But I, I would wish it all away
If I thought I'd lose you just one day

The devil and his had me down
In love with the dark side I'd found
Dabblin' all the way down
Up to my neck, soon to drown
But you changed that all for me
Lifted me up, turned me round

So I
I
I
I
I would
I would
I would
Wish this all away

Prayed like a martyr dusk to dawn
Begged like a hooker all night long
Tempted the devil with my song
And got what I wanted all along

But I
And I would
If I could
And I would
Wish it away
Wish it away
Wish it all away
Wanna wish it all away
No prize that could hold sway
Or justify my giving away my center

So if I could I'd wish it all away
If I thought tomorrow would take you away
You, my peace of mind, my all, my center
Just trying to hold on one more day

Damn my eyes!
Damn my eyes!
Damn my eyes if they should compromise the fulcrum
Wants and needs divide me then I might as well be gone

Shine on forever
Shine on benevolent sun
Shine down upon the broken
Shine until the two become one

Shine on forever
Shine on benevolent sun
Shine down upon the severed
Shine until the two become one

Divided, I'll wither away
Divided, I'll wither away
Shine down upon the many
Light our way, benevolent sun

Breathe in union
Breathe in union
Breathe in union
Breathe in union
Breathe in union
So as one survive
Another day and season
Silence, legion, save your poison
Silence, legion, stay out of my way

deng yep that about covers it 

[gettoefl]

27 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

Mhm ❤️ 'forgetful'

God would have me bent over with laughter. He would try on so many roles and archetypes. 

i know of no other god under heaven and earth

[Proserpina]

@gettoefl Btw I speak of the word 'God' sometimes the way it is spoken of in old parables. A being who walks truth (or has a deep love of truth). Except it wasn't quite human. This is where I might be accused of mental illness. 

Edited October 6, 2021 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

 

[gettoefl]

1 hour ago, Proserpina said:

@gettoefl Btw I speak of the word 'God' sometimes the way it is spoken of in old parables. A being who walks truth (or has a deep love of truth). Except it wasn't quite human. This is where I might be accused of mental illness. 

right on ... mental illness and enlightenment are often confused by the masses when in fact they are the ones who are deluded and insane

like JK says it is no measure of health to be considered well adjusted by a sick society

[Proserpina]

WARNING: sexual content

I had to censor most of my notes about my mystical experience or this journal would turn into a sex diary. About my sexual escapades with Consciousness and 'God'. 

To summarize: 

- frequent full body orgasms

- my relationship to Being was likened to sexual motions.  Clinging,  sucking, filling. *Blushing* Needless to say that 2nd chakra was WIDE open.  

- sexual metaphor in the messages. 'God' and consciousness would teach through sexual metaphor

- Resisting and 'surrendering' myself to God (to myself,  consciousness). Felt like sexual bliss as I gave myself to it. I would resist at first but consciousness would gently force me to 'reconnect'

- It deepened my relationship with Consciousness through sexuality

 

 

[gettoefl]

18 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

WARNING: sexual content

I had to censor most of my notes about my mystical experience or this journal would turn into a sex diary. About my sexual escapades with Consciousness and 'God'. 

To summarize: 

- frequent full body orgasms

- my relationship to Being was likened to sexual motions.  Clinging,  sucking, filling. *Blushing* Needless to say that 2nd chakra was WIDE open.  

- sexual metaphor in the messages. 'God' and consciousness would teach through sexual metaphor

- Resisting and 'surrendering' myself to God (to myself,  consciousness). Felt like sexual bliss as I gave myself to it. I would resist at first but consciousness would gently force me to 'reconnect'

- It deepened my relationship with Consciousness through sexuality

 

 

this is beautiful, sex is a means to god realization, it gives the taste, is how we first come, to know the divine, our body the gateway, we need nought else, the bliss the tool, for the full transcendence

sounds you are at an advanced level, this is to your benefit and credit not your shame

keep on keeping on with it

i have a few times achieved similar to this in the jhanas but i have set that aside for now as i am working on do nothing and just getting used to the long sits, this is only my second year of meditating so i need to build my endurance for it

[Proserpina]

I forgot to mention that this was going on for about 7 months. 

@gettoefl Thank you. 

[gettoefl]

8 hours ago, Proserpina said:

I forgot to mention that this was going on for about 7 months. 

@gettoefl Thank you. 

@Proserpina i applaud your candid vulnerability, you are safe to ... be you to full (beautiful)

"

It is due to our wisdom that we travel far and wide for love.

Every movement signifies the thirst.

Most speaking is really saying I am hungry for your taste. 

Every desire of your body is holy.

Dearest one, why need you wait until you are dying to discover that divine Truth?

"

Hafiz

[Proserpina]

People I admire who I consider to have a deep love of truth 

(Stronger than mine)

Leo gura

Carl Jung

My partner

Maynard James Keenan

Mememe/remember

Zeroguy

Solace

Edited October 7, 2021 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

On 06/10/2021 at 10:05 AM, Proserpina said:

All fall short

I want to remain humble but I have yet to come across and be impressed by a level of 'love of truth' that might persuade me. 

All these teachers fall short

'Angels and divine beings'

'Embodiment'

'Contentment' 

All fall short in the face of God. 

Haha. This post was so arrogant.  Some of my old self leaking out.  

I don't actually believe that my love of truth is all supreme.  It's just that I'm frequently disappointed.  

[gettoefl]

2 hours ago, Proserpina said:

Haha. This post was so arrogant.  Some of my old self leaking out.  

I don't actually believe that my love of truth is all supreme.  It's just that I'm frequently disappointed.  

i would say disappointment is expectation

why was i hoping that you be a gleaming gold clad vestal exemplar of goodness when all i saw in the mirror is a bug plagued gutter rat

all i see, reflections of me

[Proserpina]

A quiet conscience makes one strong!

Anne Frank

 

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.

Brené Brown,

 

Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart, nothing else compares to such a prayer. Crying includes all the principles of Yoga.

Kripalvanandji

 

There is almost a sensual longing for communion with others who have a large vision. The immense fulfillment of the friendship between those engaged in furthering the evolution of consciousness has a quality impossible to describe.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

 

The heart is like a woman, and the head is like a man, and although man is the head of woman, woman is the heart of man, and she turns man's head because she turns his heart.

Peter Kreeft

 

Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.

Alan Wilson Watts

 

A person who has not been completely alienated, who has remained sensitive and able to feel, who has not lost the sense of dignity, who is not yet "for sale", who can still suffer over the suffering of others, who has not acquired fully the having mode of existence - briefly, a person who has remained a person and not become a thing - cannot help feeling lonely, powerless, isolated in present-day society. He cannot help doubting himself and his own convictions, if not his sanity. He cannot help suffering, even though he can experience moments of joy and clarity that are absent in the life of his "normal" contemporaries. Not rarely will he suffer from neurosis that results from the situation of a sane man living in an insane society, rather than that of the more conventional neurosis of a sick man trying to adapt himself to a sick society. In the process of going further in his analysis, i.e. of growing to greater independence and productivity,his neurotic symptoms will cure themselves.

Erich fromm

 

Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it.

Epictetus

[gettoefl]

i won't interact with you again best wishes

[gettoefl]

4 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

Its not okay to be abusive and imply that I'm a bug plagued gutter rat in my journal. 

i apologize to you, i was looking in the mirror at myself it was nothing to do with you at all