Balance between Spirituality and Dating

[Evoke]

I am a male who have a hard time to balance out the harsh, sometimes brutal reality of dating /seduction with my longing for higher consciousness and spirituality. 

They seem like total opposites. I act very shallow and egotistical in dating and I have found out that womans often do that too. 

Its like dating and my feelings towards the opposite sex in dating drags me down inside.. Internally 

I know Leo is into both pickup and heavy consciousness work and thats is kind of an interesting combination. I would like to learn that. 

 

Edited May 2, 2021 by Evoke
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[aurum]

@Evoke

Spiritual work is not going to turn you into some kind of ultimate PUA. Which I know is the dream a lot of pua teachers sell. There may be some overlaps, but it’s relatively minimal.

It will, however, help you in an intimate relationship. 

So I would get clear on what you want. Do you want to just be a fuck boy PUA? Or do you want a serious relationship?

Either choice will lead you down a much different path. Neither is inherently right or wrong, depends on your level of development.

[Emerald]

@Evoke similar to what Aurum said, intimate relationships and spirituality go hand in hand. They are necessary for deep exploration into another person.

But spirituality makes you more aware. And some of the realities you notice in pick-up situations might put a bad taste in your mouth.

Many women who are easy to pick up and sleep with on the first meeting are often that way because of trauma or emotional turmoil.

And many men who get in involved with pick-up do so to prove their worth to themselves by getting a woman to validate their existence via sex.

So, you may in deepening your awareness pick up on the deep pain underneath the whole dynamic.

[universe]

If you learn Emotional Mastery everything will be easy.

What would you say you are feeling on a consistent basis if we follow this model?

 

Quote

• apathy emotions,
• grief emotions,
• fear emotions,
• lust emotions,
• anger emotions,
• pride emotions,
• courage emotions,
• acceptance emotions,
• peace emotions.

https://minimalistboy.com/sedona-method/

[StarStruck]

Dating and spirituality compliment each other. You say they are opposites. That is why it is so great to do it together. Spirituality is the theory. Dating is the practice.

[Evoke]

8 hours ago, aurum said:

@Evoke

Spiritual work is not going to turn you into some kind of ultimate PUA. Which I know is the dream a lot of pua teachers sell. There may be some overlaps, but it’s relatively minimal.

It will, however, help you in an intimate relationship. 

So I would get clear on what you want. Do you want to just be a fuck boy PUA? Or do you want a serious relationship?

Either choice will lead you down a much different path. Neither is inherently right or wrong, depends on your level of development.

I would like to just have a nice fulfilling relationship with a partner that i am attracted to. 

All my previous partners and flings i got into without knowing a lot about pickups. I just get out a lot and partying in nightclubs and use tinder. 

Now i feel that as I get older (34) i cant rely only on alcohol and being a "cute boy" anymore to get girls. 

I bought the Hot Seat at Home from RSD and it opened my mind but its not really how i feel i naturally operate with the opposite sex. 

 

[JonasVE12]

Not only is dating an important part of a complete spiritual practice, they also can't be looked at as being seperate from each other.

You'll discover many aspects of yourself in relationship to other people and how you react and behave within the context of the relationship.

Supressed emotions, self deceptive world views, biases, empathy, love, compassion, integration, embodiment are all dynamics existent within relationships. 

A relationship is like a mirror. They give you opportunities for deep self reflection, healing and wisdom that are not easily achievable outside the context of a relationship. 

[Evoke]

@Emerald

I have been diving into pickup material recently, something i have never done earlier in my life. 

Mostly because of that i feel that i still have insecurites about the opposite sex, despite having had girlfriends and what else for long periods in my adult life. 

I went heavily into spirituality but i now feel that mostly it was escapism from my more "real" struggles with career path and also relationships/dating. 

Those pickup guys have really open my mind because its so different from my view of dating. 

Still i think something is missing and thats the superficial mode they put me in. 

At least RSD promotes Eckhart Tolle and meditation, thats why i decided to learn from them. 

12 hours ago, Emerald said:

@Evoke similar to what Aurum said, intimate relationships and spirituality go hand in hand. They are necessary for deep exploration into another person.

But spirituality makes you more aware. And some of the realities you notice in pick-up situations might put a bad taste in your mouth.

Many women who are easy to pick up and sleep with on the first meeting are often that way because of trauma or emotional turmoil.

And many men who get in involved with pick-up do so to prove their worth to themselves by getting a woman to validate their existence via sex.

So, you may in deepening your awareness pick up on the deep pain underneath the whole dynamic.

@JonasVE12

[Evoke]

@universe

I definitely need to work on my emotions because i have lots of apathy and low self esteem because of ADHD and failed attempts to medicate this diagnosis. 

[universe]

If your are in apathy everything will be harder; dating, social life and work. As you develop your emotional mastery these things will feel more effortless and fun.

Being in apathy is not wrong but if you listen to your emotions you will find your way.

 

I'd recommend you to start taking action as best as you can. And ask yourself why feel apathy. Because when you are in apathy you will drain people around you a lot of energy.

[Evoke]

@universe

If someone saw me in person they would not think im apathetic, its just something i feel deep inside sometimes. 

But my mood shifts a lot so iam not in apathy for long periods. Maybe sometimes i feel that i dont living up to my full potential, would be a better way to describe me than apathetic 

Edited May 3, 2021 by Evoke
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