Blaming myself for his loss of erection

[Flowerfaeiry]

I know there's many different reasons this could have happened. But im attractive, and he told me he thinks I am. It all happened so suddenly and I'm really bummed about it. Maybe he's gay? Why do I keep getting matched with these feminine dudes? Maybe I haven't actualized my own femininity? I don't know. This sucks. 

[Raphael]

Oh god... I just laugh, I'm sorry. This subforum makes me laugh so much

[integral]

hahahaha its possible he became nervous and self conscious, he didn't feel comfortable and relaxed enough with you in that situation, very common... has nothing to do with him being gay or to feminine, but could be a confidence issue. 

Try to help him relax and to not worry. Hes having performance anxieties. 

Edited May 2, 2021 by integral

[blackchair]

why do you blame always yourself? first punch then this......short answer it happens to the best of us.....its normal....

[Tangerinedream]

It’s a common occurrence.  Had the boy been drinking or taking drugs?  

[mandyjw]

You already are actualized femininity, no thought required. Insecure thoughts are contagious if you're in the habit of believing them. Find something to do that brings you joy on a whole different subject until you can come back to this one without feeling bad about it. Men love inspired women, and when you're happy and carefree you become strangely powerful and don't care about men, except if it just adds to the inspiration and happiness you already are enjoying. 

 

[Flowerfaeiry]

42 minutes ago, Raphael said:

Oh god... I just laugh, I'm sorry. This subforum makes me laugh so much

Lol glad to provide a laugh hehe. 

29 minutes ago, blackchair said:

why do you blame always yourself? first punch then this......short answer it happens to the best of us.....its normal....

Thanks for reminding me not to be so hard on myself. 

27 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

You already are actualized femininity, no thought required. Insecure thoughts are contagious if you're in the habit of believing them. Find something to do that brings you joy on a whole different subject until you can come back to this one without feeling bad about it. Men love inspired women, and when you're happy and carefree you become strangely powerful and don't care about men, except if it just adds to the inspiration and happiness you already are enjoying. 

 

Thank you so much for this advice ❤ you're right. 

[Shin]

52 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I know there's many different reasons this could have happened. But im attractive, and he told me he thinks I am. It all happened so suddenly and I'm really bummed about it. Maybe he's gay? Why do I keep getting matched with these feminine dudes? Maybe I haven't actualized my own femininity? I don't know. This sucks. 

Are you saying this to  vent or is it true ?

[Flowerfaeiry]

29 minutes ago, Shin said:

Are you saying this to  vent or is it true ?

It's true. At least that's my perception. The last relationship I was in was a lesbian relationship, and before that one, the guy i was with also had a hard time getting it up, more toward the end of the relationship though. He is pretty feminine and I took a masculine role. Not intentionally and I didn't realize I was doing it until I reflected on the situation after in ended. 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I know there's many different reasons this could have happened. But im attractive, and he told me he thinks I am. It all happened so suddenly and I'm really bummed about it. Maybe he's gay? Why do I keep getting matched with these feminine dudes? Maybe I haven't actualized my own femininity? I don't know. This sucks. 

This happens to men sometimes. It’s not anything you did or didn’t do. I know those questions can come up when it happens, but it very likely doesn’t have to do with you.

[Raphael]

@Flowerfaeiry

Punch him in the dick! It will enlighten him and his dick will rise up again!

[Shin]

29 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

It's true. At least that's my perception. The last relationship I was in was a lesbian relationship, and before that one, the guy i was with also had a hard time getting it up, more toward the end of the relationship though. He is pretty feminine and I took a masculine role. Not intentionally and I didn't realize I was doing it until I reflected on the situation after in ended. 

Did you enjoy to be the masculine one in those relationship or not ?

[Leo Gura]

Lots of dudes get anxious around girls.

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I know there's many different reasons this could have happened. But im attractive, and he told me he thinks I am. It all happened so suddenly and I'm really bummed about it. Maybe he's gay? Why do I keep getting matched with these feminine dudes? Maybe I haven't actualized my own femininity? I don't know. This sucks. 

I wouldn't become soft on you if that makes you feel better.

[Flowerfaeiry]

2 hours ago, Shin said:

Did you enjoy to be the masculine one in those relationship or not ?

With a woman, yes, but with a guy I like to be more feminine. 

 

2 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

In what ways? Were you the leader of relationship, deciding where to go, etc? Was that the main reason why it didn't work?

Yea, I asked him out, I took control of the relationship. Never really even gave him a chance to be masculine 

[Flowerfaeiry]

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

This happens to men sometimes. It’s not anything you did or didn’t do. I know those questions can come up when it happens, but it very likely doesn’t have to do with you.

Okay, thank you. ❤

2 hours ago, Raphael said:

@Flowerfaeiry

Punch him in the dick! It will enlighten him and his dick will rise up again!

You're funny lol.

[Shin]

6 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

With a woman, yes, but with a guy I like to be more feminine. 

 

Yea, I asked him out, I took control of the relationship. Never really even gave him a chance to be masculine 

Could it be possible that you are more masculine than feminine, but you have a different expectation when you are in a relationship with a man cause you're biologically a woman (and therefore think you should be the feminine one when you're with a guy) ?

 

Edited May 2, 2021 by Shin

[Flowerfaeiry]

7 minutes ago, Shin said:

Could it be possible that you are more masculine than feminine, but you have a different expectation when you are in a relationship with a man cause you're biologically a woman (and therefore think you should be the feminine one when you're with a guy) ?

 

I absolutely have a strong tendency towards masculinity but I can also be very feminine. I'm not necessarily just one or the other, it changes. I only recently have been trying to cultivate my femininity consciously, as it's something I took for granted in the past and kinda just figured since I was a woman I naturally had it figured out. Was wrong about that. I like being feminine. Even with a woman there are many feminine aspects that come out. So it's confusing. My sexuality is confusing to me haha. 

[Evoke]

As a man i could say that its most likely had nothing to do with your looks, its called performance anxiety. 

It could even be physical reasons for it.

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I absolutely have a strong tendency towards masculinity but I can also be very feminine. I'm not necessarily just one or the other, it changes. I only recently have been trying to cultivate my femininity consciously, as it's something I took for granted in the past and kinda just figured since I was a woman I naturally had it figured out. Was wrong about that. I like being feminine. Even with a woman there are many feminine aspects that come out. So it's confusing. My sexuality is confusing to me haha. 

It's possible that you're in the middle, or that you were more "masculine" because you needed to control the relationship to feel safe for some past trauma reasons.

Just throwing some stuff that you can contemplate, no idea if any of them are actually true, but maybe it will help to see clearer at some point :3