It's Over ngl

[Growly]

18 Yrs old, non existent education with massive amounts of childhood trauma. The only thing I've gotten from school is bullying and lost 2-3k dollars from just bullying alone. I'm so sad how I have to deal with all the effects from my past and now I'm trying to relearn English because It's so fucking broken. Just to make it worst, I'm now an Incel and adopted their ideology which just compounded my situation ffs. I'm now fixated over my height, face, race and most importantly dick size yipeee. I use to wish I was white occasionally but I got rated 4.5PSl/8PSL from looksmax.me  which made me happy a little bit but with ethnic tax 4PSL/8PSL because I'm ethnic. I looked up to actualized.org when i was 16 yrs old and i was actually ascendning literally and I've gotten so close to astral projecting but  digress from it because of these intrusive thoughts i get everyday. I stopped watching actualized.org when someone criticized him and that made me skeptical about him and then eventually stopped watching him completely and that was probably the most regretful thing i ever did because it was the only thing that kept me motivated about life in general. 

 

Effects from my unlucky life: Intrusive Thoughts, Nightmares about my bullies(7-8 bullies in total) No education, Probably low IQ because I can't critical think anymore, Social anxiety, perpetual depression( Usually distract myself by playing games or learn english) Incel Ideology which gives me more reasons to just rope. 

What should I do? I just want to smoke spiritual related drugs so i can get away from this fucking sadness :(.

Edited May 1, 2021 by Growly

[Preety_India]

Remove biases

Grow yourself 

Self love 

Be gentle 

Do not have self limiting beliefs or worldviews 

Be open to possibilities 

Bury the past and carve out a future

 

 

[Growly]

@Preety_India How is that suppose to help? that's the most generic self-help advice ever no offense.

 

Give me the most practical spiritual related drugs that will help me 

 

[Preety_India]

@Growly it's the most practical advice I could offer. 

I don't do any drugs. So I can't advice you on that. 

Sorry. ?

 

[Nahm]

@Growly

Framing the thoughts as intrusive leads to the aversion. Listening to the thoughts, and what feeling is ‘telling you’, leads to alignment. When I say ‘leads to’ I mean instantaneously feeling a bit better and better with each aligned thought. 

Also, consider, it’s effortless to put different material in front you which resonates and feels good. 

YouTube Abrham Hicks. Listen for a day or two. Your whole life will change.

[Growly]

@Nahm what do you think of this youtuber, Andreas Carlund

He has his own teachings and it’s called Timeless Education

?

[Nahm]

@Growly

Haven’t listened to anything by him. 

[roopepa]

Please realize that you are very young.

I am 22 myself and I have just come to understand better how much age matters. We are both children my friend. The whole puberty thing, school, trying to figure out life, sex... It's not easy. And you are not the only one having trouble, believe me. You have A LOT of time to figure this stuff out. There is no hurry. Relax, things will get better.

It's all emotional stuff. Nothing wrong with your life, women, IQ, dick size etc. You just got some emotional blocks. Invest and believe in yourself. Seek a therapist. Read a book. Stop reading low-conscious shit online. If the incel community had anything real to offer, they would not make you sad and suicidal.

If you decide to try psychedelics, go easy. Low doses. Don't hurry to "enlightenment" or "higher consciousness". Realize that if you have this need to achieve "spiritual experiences", it's probably due to emotional dysfunction.

And try something self-expressive. You could write your thoughts and emotions on a journal. Actually do it, don't just read this. It's very helpful.

[Growly]

@Peter Miklis I wish it was that simple to deviate from this. I don't think it's weird for knowledgeable people to rate my face and I used to rate people's faces as well and recommend them practical surgery .I think it's good to get surgery If you're average since you can ascend  quickly because you have a good base to start with unless you have severe recession. I know education is useless but It's bad that I have no good foundation to start with since I haven't gotten the knowledge for certain subjects like I'm literally at the bottom of the barrel  and  I thought Spiritual related drugs would help me ascend faster than if I was doing it without it. I was thinking of just popping an addy(adderal) or any practical nootropics to give me a boost but I don't know if it's worth suffering the consequence for it tbh. 

It's just painful to realize that I'm far behind in life. Maybe if I was born with good cognitive abilities then maybe I wouldn't in this position. 

 

[Growly]

@roopepa You right tbh. I think I know what i'm gonna do. I'm just relearning english for now and I'm slowly getting out of this incel mindset since I already lost friends from having this mindset. I don't know how people cope in life despite being average especially being low IQ.

Yeah, I'll take those drugs in low doses but the problem is that I don't even know where to get them. I remember they are in the process of legalizing them in the US but that's going to take forever. 

[Enlightenment]

@Growly PSL, ascending, rope...    too much lookism.net and looksmax.me

Stop spending too much time on these forums and start getting good at meditation. You can find free pdf of the book The Mind Illuminated on google. Read it and start meditating. You don't have to start with 2h a day, just do like 15 minutes or whatever you feel comfortable in the beginning. Even if it takes you years to get to later stages but it will be worth it, believe me, you will be surprised at how much confidence advanced meditation practice can add. If you're very seriously depressed, you will have to wait it out but it will pass. 

With psychedelics, start low and slowly ramp up your doses. Don't make the mistake of taking a large dose out of a emotional decision 

Edited May 2, 2021 by Enlightenment

[Growly]

@Enlightenment I meditated when I was 16 and stopped a year later because It didn’t work tbh. Maybe it did or not but it just wasn’t worth it because I was mundane everytime I did it.

 

i don’t go on those websites anymore because it’s insidious and it made me even more depressed than I was before I discovered the blackpill.

Blackpill is truth maybe 

[Jacob Morres]

@Growly blackpill is definietely false

you can do many things that increase your attractiveness

- embodying your masculinity (and even feminity) 

- self-love/self-confidence

- being happy, positive, joyful

- good fashion sense 

- feeling attractive (gives an attractive vibe) 

- learning flirt and game with women

- building social status

- building wealth 

- clarifying your values and finding girls with similar values (girls like men who know what they want)

- being good at sex 

these things will take you far man. you dont even need looks sometimes. plus if you are 4/8 rated that means you are average. so at the bare minimum you can at least get average girls (if you dont work much on the things i mentioned)

blackpill is a toxic ideology, it needs to be deconstructed, seen through and healed through. it will take some time and effort though

Edited May 2, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Growly]

@Jacob Morres Yes but looks trumps all  maybe height.

Fashion and confidence is false because most people will generalize just by looking at his/her face which you probably know by now.

flirting? Seriously bro? you need to be slight above average to make that work and they’re gonna think you are using PUA tricks so it’s not gonna work.

 

[Jacob Morres]

14 minutes ago, Growly said:

@Jacob Morres Yes but looks trumps all  maybe height.

Fashion and confidence is false because most people will generalize just by looking at his/her face which you probably know by now.

flirting? Seriously bro? you need to be slight above average to make that work and they’re gonna think you are using PUA tricks so it’s not gonna work.

 

It probably is the highest, after fame  

However, don't underestimate yourself nor the things you can work on. If you look for examples you will find many average-below average guys who do great with women 

I personally know many. (Ethnic + below average) but because they have some of the things I mentioned, they do fine in the dating world 

I agree that some people will generalize. I think many will, but it's not nearly as intense as you say it is. And especially since you said you're 4.5/8, you could definietely come to a 6-7/8 if you build out these things 

And even if you don't, a 4.5 is fine in itself. The average girl (and boy) is also a 4 

And also just feeling and believing you are attractive and confident, will make you go higher. 

And also having self love for where you are will also make you more attractive to some women 

You're underestimating what's in your control and overestimating/catastrophizing the things that aren't

Edited May 2, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Growly]

@Jacob Morres You're right about self love but I don't think I can love myself after I realize being ethnic ascribes you inferiority. I'm native american maybe but don't know for sure since my mom n' dad got divorced long time ago. I'm 5,10 thankfully yipee!!! I just wish I didn't discovered the blackpill or the redpill because that was very insidious and I used to think it was a joke until I saw the statistics. I discovered it when I was 17 and after, I started rotting for  8 months and that was detrimental  to my cognitive abilities. Probably lost some IQ points maybe. 

I need some spiritual related drugs and nootropics to give me a boost in life and to finish up things because time is indeed running out for me.

It is true that average-below average looking man can get gfs but that depends on the location and how they grew up. My school consist of mostly ethnic people and little bit of whites in California so it was easy here to get one maybe.

[Bando]

Sigh... getting into incel culture and looxmaxing is one of the most toxic ideology's you can develop especially at such a young age, you don't understand how quickly your mind can adopt a worldview especially if theres trauma you experienced to reinforce it. Unsubscribe from any forums or yt channels you watch, distance yourself from that bs because it will only get worse as you get older

The only way you'll overcome "blackpill" or whatever the hell terminology you use is to get real solid irrefutable evidence that that ideology isn't true. You said you are 5'10 and look average thats more than than enough to attract chicks if you actually improve yourself.

You need to give your mind a reason to believe your confident or else your just lying to yourself, if your getting bullied learn how to box, join a gym, buy some gloves and practice hitting a punching bag, work on lowering your bodyfat percentage to maximize your facial aesthetics and body, eat clean to feel better and learn english. Not being able to communicate properly will leave you in your head and have you second guessing yourself.

I know youve seen people who look worse than you get good results with women and appear confident, that should give you a hint that you can change your circumstance. I dont wanna sound like an ass but your 18 you need to wake tf up, you don't wanna be having these issues when in your 20's or else your going to end up hating women and other people.

[Arcangelo]

Looks do matter, height does matter, money and status does matter.

[Growly]

@Bando That's how I cope, by looking at average-below average people. I try to stop going on there but it became a habit now because I rotted for 8 months just browsing there. But at least I learned facial attractiveness. YIPEE!!! I try to be proactive now by learning phsyiology and English because those two alone can ascend any person's life yayaya. All these bluepill advice is good if you're above average only btw.

I already woke up when I adopted the blackpill and made me more serious about my age and my knowledge which was a double edge sword but it was worth it(not really tbh)

'I know youve seen people who look worse than you get good results with women and appear confident, that should give you a hint that you can change your circumstance.' Solely depends on where you live sadly.

[Growly]

@Peter Miklis Maybe, but I rather wait till I fix my failed features  so I can feel like a god to these people yayayayayaay