I resonate a lot with Jordan Petersons take on feminism - What am I missing?

[SamC]

40 minutes ago, Surfingthewave said:

Why do you have this hurt? 

@Surfingthewave I have this hurt because I have felt forced to disown my feminine side because it hasn´t been accepted and fully loved which is probably to some extent due to the patriarchy but also to generational trauma where I was leaned to disown my feelings. They are both the opposite side of the same coin.

This has then lead me to develop an anima complex where I get obsessed with girls and get needy + eventually rejected because the powerless anima projects itself outwards on to a woman in an over the top, powerful manner in order to be heard while at the same time making it seem like woman are entitled, rude, arrogant and unaccepting of me which A disables me to connect with women and B repels woman because of my shadow femininity neediness. I sub communicate to women that I can´t provide containment to them because I can´t provide containment for my feminine side - which also thinking about it, is why I many times feel powerless as a man.

My relationship with females mirrors my relationship to my anima but reversed, where I am the learned opressor - not the oppressed. In other words, on the surface, I feel hurt because it feels like I have been hurt by females - but in reality, I repressed, oppressed, and disowned my feminie side which then led me to get hurt by females because my anima wanted to get loved and accepted, and it did so, by becoming loved and powerful - but in another form.

 

[Emerald]

4 hours ago, Derek White said:

You made these up, like boogeyman. What is masculinity and feminity, a set of traits? Values? A feeling? Is swearing masculine or feminine, what about working?

It’s the same as categories in fantasy. Your masculinity and femininity is like saying “be more like Gryffindor or be more like water benders” you can invent other inities too

It’s a self biased framing at that, you have defined everything bad and survival oriented as masculine, stage red, blue and orange; and everything good and holy as feminine, stage green and above. Female biased completely. Open the door for women to feel superior to men, when in reality I see just as many stage blue and orange women as men. 

You take your perspective so seriously, as if it’s objective reality. It’s just one perspective you made up.

Also, see the Trudeau example. 

 

You have to experience for yourself to know. I see no value in arguing nor any value in you blindly believing me. If/when you have direct experience, you will see it.

[Surfingthewave]

@SamC I am not a trauma expert or a professional but it sounds like you are trapped in a cycle here. 

You have made a powerful step by recognising this pattern. Trauma can become part of how we identify, for myself I've worked on accepting this and letting this go which has helped me move forward. 

How do you accept your feminine side? Fully, with self love. 

Culturally and historically, this has been difficult for men, but now however this is seen as more attractive and imo the key to having more authentic relationships. I see gender as more fluid, it's not fixed, and having trans and non binary friends and being part of the LGBTQ+ community has really helped with this. 

In a relationship sense, you are aware of how this is impacting which is huge progress. Be kind to yourself and consider more work around self love. 

Edited May 4, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[SamC]

1 hour ago, Surfingthewave said:

@SamC I am not a trauma expert or a professional but it sounds like you are trapped in a cycle here. 

You have made a powerful step by recognising this pattern. Trauma can become part of how we identify, for myself I've worked on accepting this and letting this go which has helped me move forward. 

How do you accept your feminine side? Fully, with self love. 

@Surfingthewave By underdstanding it's needs fully and meeting those needs + a lot more.

1 hour ago, Surfingthewave said:

Culturally and historically, this has been difficult for men, but now however this is seen as more attractive and imo the key to having more authentic relationships. I see gender as more fluid, it's not fixed, and having trans and non binary friends and being part of the LGBTQ+ community has really helped with this. 

In a relationship sense, you are aware of how this is impacting which is huge progress. Be kind to yourself and consider more work around self love. 

Thanks you! (:

[StarStruck]

Feminism has definitely a dark and toxic side:

 

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

Feminism has definitely a dark and toxic side

"Dark side" gives the image of a dichotomous 50/50 split. I think it's more accurate to call it a dark corner, but every movement has that.

[StarStruck]

9 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

"Dark side" gives the image of a dichotomous 50/50 split. I think it's more accurate to call it a dark corner, but every movement has that.

I don't have good experiences with feminists. They demand equal pay while they work part time and their male counterparts work full time.

Since a year or something I'm following "feminists". These are not prominent feminist but just girl next door types. Most of them are just man hating on social media and saying sexist stuff to men. If we said the same stuff to them we would be lynched on social media.

[Carl-Richard]

45 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I don't have good experiences with feminists. They demand equal pay while they work part time and their male counterparts work full time.

That's such a weird thing to say lol.

[Ryna]

I am a fan of the internal family systems approach which is a form of psychotherapy that I find incredibly useful for doing shadow work. You’ve already recognized that a part of you has a problem with feminism and I admire that you are taking steps to overcome this bias. At the same time it can be helpful to recognize that this part of you has good intentions. It is doing it’s best to protect you from something. So see if you can get curious about this part of you and if you can find some compassion for it that’s great. If you’re able to get curious about it ask this part of you directly what would happen if it didn’t do that? What is it afraid would happen? And then don’t think of a response but instead just wait for a response to come up. It will come up in the form of a thought and it may give you an insight into what kind of wound is there and why this part feels it’s necessary to do its job.  

[TheDao]

@Carl-Richard Read the myth of male power or look on youtube for Warren Farrell.  This man was so way way ahead of his time. My hero! The mainstream feminism story in United States is very distorted. 

 

Also watch the film: The red pill  (Its free)

https://www.imdb.com/video/vi740079129?playlistId=tt3686998&ref_=tt_ov_vi

Important stuff to have in your intellectual bagage. That is missing on leos booklist.

Edited May 8, 2021 by TheDao

[Shin]

25 minutes ago, Ryna said:

I am a fan of the internal family systems

Systemic therapy ?

[TheDao]

7 hours ago, StarStruck said:

If we said the same stuff to them we would be lynched on social media.

True

[TheDao]

On 5/3/2021 at 10:36 PM, Derek White said:

But it's also less accurate if you put it in secular terms. And it's core to the whole thing to understand that it does derive from masculine/feminine polarity as these are the building blocks in all of reality. 

Nope gender isone of  the biggest religions of modern times.

[SamC]

19 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Feminism has definitely a dark and toxic side:

 

@StarStruck Bro it Doesn't matter, If you get triggered by the dark side of anything, you're trapped to see the good side of it. The one who resents something will never, ever... EVER be able to understand that perspective, so investigate it.

The thing that triggeres you informs you about something which you hate within yourself. You hate the feminism ( the anima/ your feminie side) and try to repress it because you feel like you can't have that side if you wanna get a girlfriend.

The dark side of feminism is the outward version of your own self feminie side hatred. Escape that first, because right now you can't see it for what it is  becuase of this ego repression game.

[StarStruck]

@SamC  I'm not anti feminist. For the record, I support healthy feminism and denounce overcompensating behaviour portrayed by feminists.

You might have a point about my inward disconnection with my feminine side. I'm stoic and dissociative and I'm working on that with a therapist and on my own, but I don't think that is going to change how I view feminist extremists when I'm "healed".

Even the word "feminism" is not neutral word and in practise this proves to be true. Are you not triggered by women always getting custody over children?

[TheDao]

On 5/2/2021 at 0:53 AM, Leo Gura said:

A) Stop listening to JP.

B) Go read some feminist books.

C) Check your biases.

@Leo Gura Nah you start listening to men. See the free film I just linked of the mens rights movement.

[Shin]

1 hour ago, TheDao said:

@Leo Gura Nah you start listening to men. See the free film I just linked of the mens rights movement.

You mean the movement of incel right ?

Cause men kinda use women as slaves for millenials.

[TheDao]

@Shin Don't you think you should know about the subject before commenting al kind of judgements?

Edited May 8, 2021 by TheDao

[Shin]

18 minutes ago, TheDao said:

@Shin Don't you think you should know about the subject before commenting al kind of judgements?

Even in the most pro feminists countries, men still dominate quite hard.

Where do you live ? Cause I highly doubt there is a country on earth (could be wrong ofc) where this trend is reversed.

[TheDao]

@Shin my country is further than United States with equal rights. And even in our country men shelters for abused men are only just recently added.  In the year of the film there were none in America. While lots of victims of abuse are men.

Men have certain issues as well and they should be listened to better. 

Inform yourself first, its very insulting to react to mens pain like you did with harsh judgements.

The dumm thing of feminist in America is that some see mens rights as a danger to womens rights. In my country they are not like that. For example men get a lot days off of work when getting a baby.

 

From role mates , too soul mates!

Edited May 8, 2021 by TheDao