How To Be A Man Part 2

[Chris40]

in the how to be a man pt 2 video  it states to wear your heart on your sleave, and in the lower#higher consciousness videos this is a  sign of lower consciousness

Im must be missing something

 

Chris

[Leo Gura]

@Chris40 Being authentic and open about your emotions is a higher consciousness quality.

Seems like you're interpreting "wearing your heart on your sleeve" as some kind of dysfunctional thing, when it's really just authenticity and emotional openness.

It's a win-win, for the guy and the girl. But it has to be done in a truly authentic way. It has to be grounded, not just emotions flying all over the place. You have to build up your core.

[Nexeternity]

@Chris40 @Leo Gura   With my girlfriend following the advice has been gold for intimacy.   She is into self help so that helps alot.  I tell her "Hey Im triggered and I know this is lower consciousness but I am needy/sad/angry because of xyz.   She either understands  and we work it out (I see through my bullshit and she through hers) or she gets defensive and it spirals down for a bit but eventually we see the light and we feel closer than before.   I tell her my insecurities, my needs and wants, have cried my eyes out to her... I ask her to do the same, to not hold back even if she thinks there is something she is thinking or feeling that I am not going to like.   It really is the best way to have a great relationship and grow together, and if the honesty causes the relationship to break then its for the best, I dont see how lying or hiding stuff can make things work in the long run.  

[Leo Gura]

@Nexeternity In an existing relationship, lying will certainly tank it. The only option for long-term success is honest and open communication.

It's a bit trickier when first attracting the girl. Before you sleep with her, manipulation tactics can be highly effective. Although they produce subtle karma which retards one's development.

For a guy who lacks social skills or a solid core and is trying to attract girls, honesty can backfire and lead to worse results, at least in the short-term.

[Nexeternity]

@Leo Gura  I was into pickup and manipulaton (of myself and the girl) for 10 years and I had to let go of it to get into an amazing relationship I feel.  My "results" went down as far as attracting girls I interacted with but the authenticity skyrocketed which I feel made me the most attractive to the right girls.  It was funny I met my gf at a club and when we were dancing I got a boner and she said "you need to calm down!" and I said without missing a beat "Hey dont judge me!" in a funny light hearted way, not getting insecure about it, and she laughed and I felt she appreciated the honesty and the self acceptance.

Now I kinda preach not doing anything manipulative, being brutally honest and hitting yourself against the wall by being needy or whatever until you meet the right person hehe. Like you said in the video, being needy and not hiding it I was able to become more aware of it while it happened and it naturally stopped happening as much since I was able to reflect on it and realize that there was really no need for it... "the neediness comes from a deep inauthenticity".

Anyways my 2 cents

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Nexeternity said:

My "results" went down as far as attracting girls I interacted with but the authenticity skyrocketed which I feel made me the most attractive to the right girls

This is a big shift. Guy always want to knock the authenticity thing, pointing out these cases where it would be more effective to put on a front.

Well no shit.

But how's your LONG TERM results doing?

Long term, being authentic is going to get you the girls that you'll really connect with. And if you don't click sexually, you can just be friends.

It's still the winning play by a long shot.

I'm SHOCKED sometimes how compatible my girlfriend and I are. But really it's not surprising, considering I met so many women who I was NOT compatible with.