Hyper-Sensitivity Towards Others

[Gianna]

I have chronic sensitivity towards others and their feelings. For instance, just today I was at Trader Joes. I noticed before that this Trader Joes always has a rotating staff, or at least a very big one. I never see the same people in there consistently. I thought one time, "Hm. You know what, I always see new workers when I'm here." Yet today, I saw a guy two days in a row, so when he said, "Hey! Did I see you yesterday?" at the cash register I said, "Yes!", and I told him about my thoughts of never seeing the same people in there twice. 

Immediatly after I said that, I felt as if I offended his coworker next to him. What if I had seen him before and didn't recognize it and now I had just said that? I now have chronic anxiety/anxiousnesses, overthinking, guilt, regret, etc. This happens often and I'm needing to get to the bottom of my chronic overthinking, chronic over-analyzing and hypersensitvity. I'm super careful and nuerotic of the words I use constantly because I know how much weight they could carry and what they could imply. But this overthinking and anxiousness is driving me mad! Even though I've had it my entire life. 

I was thinking this problem might stem from some sort of self-obsession– why do I believe I have influence over other's feelings? Yet, I feel this way even if it's not me saying or doing anything. If it's someone I am with that is acting in a way I feel would offend someone or make them feel humilated or guilty I have the same reaction. I understand its good to have empathy but I feel like this is an extreme level of mindfulness/consideration and it drives my mind right into paranoia.

Also, I don't think this comes from a past experience of hurt, at least not one I can remember! I did fine in school socially and always surrounded myself with friends who were more mature than that.

Any advice? 

Edited April 30, 2021 by Gianna

[Nahm]

Have you tried daily practices like meditation, yoga, breathing, seeing - hearing - feeling, expressing, etc? 

If interested in reading some short descriptions, here are some which are focused less on thinking (about what other people think) and more on feeling, emotional understanding & mental and social equanimity.

You also might find this article on the ten ox pics interesting and insightful, if you’ve not seen it yet. You might be experiencing similarly to the description of the first picture. 

I’d also get stuff out of the head and into the room. Write down a few things you’d to like to change in your experience. This will help you not only connect more in feeling, but focus much less on what others might or might not think or feel. I’d also google and read a few sources on projection. 

If you notice you don’t like how you’re feeling... switch from thinking about yourself, to what you want to create and experience. Take note of that shift in better feeling.  I do not mean to imply you are vein or anything like that. It is a very “real” felt energetic shift and realization, which is very aligned with direct experience. Tuning & calibrating how you feel will very much jive with direct experience. I would go so far as to say the universe has been waiting your entire life for you to begin this. I’d be as open minded as is possible, to consider you might be completely misunderstanding the feelings you’re experiencing. It is possible it all actually makes perfect sense and is whole and harmonious, and those feelings are inviting you to inspect, and play, and co-create. 

[mandyjw]

I've suffered with this a lot. I think women especially are trained to always be aware of the feelings and the needs of others, put them ahead of your own and to never to step on any toes. Our mind has co-opted this as the "right" way of being. 

Put how you feel first. The magic is that it actually enhances your ability to effectively care for (or about) others. I found Abraham Hicks' teachings to be really enlightening and empowering in this area.

[SLuxy]

@Gianna Buy, 'Feeling Good', by David Burns

[SolarWarden]

Just start to step on others toes. When you feel sensitive towards someone. Just literally step on their toes and leave.

Edited May 1, 2021 by SolarWarden
Just joking, maybe not.

[Gianna]

Thank all of you guys for your advice.  I get lost in resources so these recommendations help a lot. I will definitely check each of them out.