Lyubov

An exercise for the women to do if they actually want a tiny glimpse of the male POV

37 posts in this topic

ok

step one: get a smartphone you aren't using with some service

step two: install the app Tinder

step three: take the photos of your ex boyfriend and upload them to the profile, fill out the bio, can be a copypaste of some examples you found online (I'm 6 feet, I like traveling, a joke, etc). It has to be your ex or a guy you dated, it will make this exercise more powerful. can also be the guy you are in a relationship right now.

step four: swipe and wait for matches you consider to be conventionally physically attractive. if you are unsure here just ask yourself if you think this woman is hotter than you or not and if you answered yes swipe right and if you answered no swipe left. don't overthink this and have a bit of fun with your swiping. you can do it based on how well they dress as well. (you're going to have to pay some money here for tinder gold if you partake in this experiment. don't be cheap if you are actually curious and want to get an actual tiny glimpse of the male pov or if you want to continue talking like you understand it when you actually have not the slightest clue). 

step five: for every match you match with start a convo, see if you can get their number and set up an in person date. you can always cancel on them the morning of no problem.

repeat steps four and five while contemplating this dynamic and what you have to do to get better at it.

While doing this process invest about 50% of your self into it like this was 50%-75% of all your dating opportunities.

Now this wont give you the clearest or largest glimpse of what it's like but like I said, a tiny true glimpse.

And before you say men should do the same to get a glimpse what it's like for women, we have, we all have. Every guy with a smartphone at some point in their life has made a fake profile on Tinder or OkCuipid or whatever dating site with fake photos of a girl, to see what it was like. This very truth should speak volumes about how much women actually care about contemplating the male pov.

you can watch this video to get an idea of this exercise but don't confuse this for IRL experience. you wanna talk with authority like you understand the attraction phase of things? have that rubber meet the road then and take up this exercise. 

Post your results. fuck it, just to make it fun I'll reimburse your tinder gold via paypal if you are able to set up 5 legitimate dates in a month (prostitution/sugar baby dates do not count IE girl willing to meet in exchange for cash or drugs) ;) 

any takers?

Edited by Lyubov

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38 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

we all have. Every guy with a smartphone at some point in their life has made a fake profile on Tinder or OkCuipid or whatever dating site with fake photos of a girl, to see what it was like.

Speak for yourself mate ^_^


hrhrhtewgfegege

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6 minutes ago, Roy said:

Speak for yourself mate ^_^

lol don't gas light me. just like how guys in their youth shows each other their dicks and compare dick sizes or comment on each other's junk during the shower after gym. it's a common thing most guys have done. asking to see your friend's (who is a girl) tinder counts as well.

Edited by Lyubov

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I'm not going to do this because the cancelling the date/lying thing would bother me.

But I think I'd have good success... especially because there would be a degree of removal. 

There would be no fear of rejection because she'd be rejecting Jim Bob... not Emerald. So, this would give some liberty to take risks. 


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33 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm not going to do this because the cancelling the date/lying thing would bother me.

But I think I'd have good success... especially because there would be a degree of removal. 

There would be no fear of rejection because she'd be rejecting Jim Bob... not Emerald. So, this would give some liberty to take risks. 

Everybody thinks they can fight until they have to throw a punch ;)


 

 

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19 minutes ago, aurum said:

Everybody thinks they can fight until they have to throw a punch ;)

I genuinely do think I would do well, as I’d have no ego in it. And I have a lot of control over my words if it’s in written format.

I’m bisexual, so I do appreciate the difficulty of attracting a woman. I’ve never been particularly good at it because of fear of the woman not being attracted to women. I just don’t want to creep women out.

But if I were play-acting as a man, it would take the pressure off.

I’m wishing now that I could try it. But I really don’t feel comfortable lying.


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You'd probably have to wait a few days before getting couple of matches. If you are attractive guy and your photos are cool and done profesionaly, that is.

If not, good luck with getting matches on an app where physical appearance is the first thing a woman will judge you by.

Edited by Peter Miklis

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5 hours ago, Emerald said:

I genuinely do think I would do well, as I’d have no ego in it. And I have a lot of control over my words if it’s in written format.

I’m bisexual, so I do appreciate the difficulty of attracting a woman. I’ve never been particularly good at it because of fear of the woman not being attracted to women. I just don’t want to creep women out.

But if I were play-acting as a man, it would take the pressure off.

I’m wishing now that I could try it. But I really don’t feel comfortable lying.

@EmeraldThat's your bias based on a belief that it's much easier if you are a man. Probably animus repression;)

Edited by SamC

"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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5 hours ago, Emerald said:

I genuinely do think I would do well, as I’d have no ego in it. And I have a lot of control over my words if it’s in written format.

I’m bisexual, so I do appreciate the difficulty of attracting a woman. I’ve never been particularly good at it because of fear of the woman not being attracted to women. I just don’t want to creep women out.

But if I were play-acting as a man, it would take the pressure off.

I’m wishing now that I could try it. But I really don’t feel comfortable lying.

I can't even get a girl to text me back, what does it matter if you are modern day female version of William Shakespeare?

And this is while in get moderate amount of attention from the opposite sex during the day and can get sexual hook point from time to time.

Edited by StarStruck

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8 hours ago, Emerald said:

But I think I'd have good success... especially because there would be a degree of removal. 

There would be no fear of rejection because she'd be rejecting Jim Bob... not Emerald. So, this would give some liberty to take risks. 

I think that because of that detachment you would do worse than if you cared. 

If I did it I would get bored pretty quickly and then I would just start trolling. 

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11 hours ago, Lyubov said:
11 hours ago, Roy said:

Speak for yourself mate ^_^

lol don't gas light me.

do you know what gaslighting even means? Or do you just keep using it wrong intentionally?

Edited by CultivateLove

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3 hours ago, SamC said:

@EmeraldThat's your bias based on a belief that it's much easier if you are a man. Probably animus repression;)

I don’t think it’s easier to be a man. I definitely think it would be more challenging in this context as I would be the one that approaches.

But I do think it would be a bit easier for me to get dates on a dating app than a man would for several reasons.

1. I would have no fear of rejection because I would be pretending to be someone else.

2. I have been approached by many men in my lifetime and I know exactly what doesn’t work. So, I’m less likely to accidentally communicate turn-offs and red flags.


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3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I can't even get a girl to text me back, what does it matter if you are modern day female version of William Shakespeare?

And this is while in get moderate amount of attention from the opposite sex during the day and can get sexual hook point from time to time.

It isn’t about being a word-smith. That’s not why I think I’d fair well. I already mentioned some of the reasons.


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If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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1 hour ago, Opo said:

I think that because of that detachment you would do worse than if you cared. 

If I did it I would get bored pretty quickly and then I would just start trolling. 

Well, I’m not much of a troll anyway. And I wouldn’t get bored. I’d really give myself to the process, which would be interesting all by itself.

Also, I am attracted to women, so it wouldn’t be boring from that angle either. 

But it wouldn’t hit me in the ego, because any rejection I experience wouldn’t be rejection of my actual personality. There would be no stakes.


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If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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1 hour ago, Emerald said:

It isn’t about being a word-smith. That’s not why I think I’d fair well. I already mentioned some of the reasons.

How would you fair well if you don't even the light of day? ? 

If you are an above average looking dude it is a different story: it is a numbers game. If you are a regular looking dude you have no clue. You have almost no chance. How can you get her attention when she doesn't respond to you? I'm genuinely curious. 

This is what Leo is trying to explain. 

Edited by StarStruck

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36 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

How would you fair well if you don't even the light of day? ? 

If you are an above average looking dude it is a different story: it is a numbers game. If you are a regular looking dude you have no clue. You have almost no chance. How can you get her attention when she doesn't respond to you? I'm genuinely curious. 

This is what Leo is trying to explain. 

I was saying I think I'd fair well on a dating app. 

If I had a picture of an average looking guy on my dating profile and I was engaging with the app as men typically do, I think I could find five dates in the time allotted. 

But to get her to respond, I'd have to come up with an opener that piques her curiosity and sets me aside from other guys. And I'd have to look for context clues on her dating profile to figure out what she might respond to. 


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If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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33 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I was saying I think I'd fair well on a dating app. 

If I had a picture of an average looking guy on my dating profile and I was engaging with the app as men typically do, I think I could find five dates in the time allotted. 

But to get her to respond, I'd have to come up with an opener that piques her curiosity and sets me aside from other guys. And I'd have to look for context clues on her dating profile to figure out what she might respond to. 

That's not how it works, it's not like "average" people match with "average" people and so on for any "quality" of profiles. Everyone has higher standards on Tinder because they are exposed to lots of profiles and so no one wants to choose the average one.

You can see it here: https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps/

Everyone targets the "top" people, if you have an average profile you stand no change. There is no such thing as an average looking person, just get a high quality camera, take a photo in which you are really happy (show your best self) and show some of your hobbies to prob get in the top 10% of profiles and have decent chances. I think for most people the difficulty is letting go of all the insecurities that are noticeable in your photos. But if you let go of all your insecurities you might as well just talk to people anywhere instead of on an app where everyone is objectified and rated.

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25 minutes ago, 4201 said:

That's not how it works, it's not like "average" people match with "average" people and so on for any "quality" of profiles. Everyone has higher standards on Tinder because they are exposed to lots of profiles and so no one wants to choose the average one.

You can see it here: https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps/

Interesting how the "like inequality" appears to be the same as the "wealth inequality" meassured by the Gini coefficient.

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