Should people like me give up on Self-Improvement?

[chisel]

I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective. I have been taking antipsychotic medication and having therapy for over 10 years. My physical health deteriorated over the years and I am several pounds overweight. Currently taking action by going to the gym everyday and taking a diet which is very difficult due to my medication causing horrible food cravings. If I don't drink coffee everyday what will happen is that I will spend most of the day in bed but I don't have trouble sleeping. I'm not seeking medical advice because nothing will change about that, I just wanted you to be aware of my situation before replying. My clinical situation is stable.

My limitations:
I've trouble reading books because it's difficult to focus, I replace them with listening/watching long videos as well as audiobooks but it's hard to study them;
I've trouble playing most video-games, I find them mostly boring but I still play a limited few occasionally to keep me happy;
Working a normal job is obviously very difficult with someone with my diagnosis so I work part-time from home
I'm an artist, I like to draw but it's difficult to draw for long hours and I only feel like painting if I attend painting classes to force me to paint and socialize.

If mind-work is difficult and we'll never reach world-class what is the point?
If the situation turn out to be stable is the self-help world useful?
Is there a point to go after life-purpose from such a low-state?

Probably shouldn't be here and I am well aware of the rules, guidelines and warnings. I'm still open-minded and welcome any advice.
Apologies for my english and my dyslexia.
 

 

[Roy]

59 minutes ago, chisel said:

If mind-work is difficult and we'll never reach world-class what is the point?

You desperately need to change your standards here and reframe your "win condition". The point should be to improve attainably, even if just a little bit, day by day. If you are better off in your life doing self-improvement than not, then you have won 

I think the best thing for where you are at is to be accepting and not go too hard on yourself. Look to make incremental changes and sustainable improvements. Focus your attention on the smaller things you know you can 100% do, and do not worry about the end-game too much or if you will be "world-class" or not. 99% of people won't be by pure definition so no need to stress about it haha.

For example, because of your conditions it's important to respect your energy and focus levels. Don't overload yourself, listen to your body and realize how much time you can focus on something before you get tired or bored, then plan to use that time effectively.

If you like drawing, and get the urge to draw, don't force yourself to draw for a long time if you don't have the energy. Simply do it and stop when you like, then see how you feel.

 

Edited April 27, 2021 by Roy

[Superfluo]

8 hours ago, chisel said:

Is there a point to go after life-purpose from such a low-state?

What do you want? To barely survive or to thrive? To think "Well, I guess I'm going to stay like this for the rest of my life" or to think "The road ahead is not easy but nevertheless I'm going to try, if it goes badly I lose little, and I'm not going to let life knock me down"?

It's not impossible to be who you want to be. In your case your path may be harder and more difficult, but it all boils down to: how much do you want it?

Also, you have to find the right methods. If you don't know how to change, how are you supposed to do that? By chance? By everyday experiences? No, that's like betting on a losing scenario. You have to research.

What type of therapy have you done? Did you do talk therapy? That's really helpful but not enough. From what you wrote your everyday problems stem from body imbalances caused by coffee and drugs, which are needed to sedate your mind. That's what you have to face. The root of the problems. You have to deal with your fragmented mind. So check out my posts as a starting point to know how to heal your psyche.

After you heal your psyche you'll find that you won't need medications anymore. And that's a huge payoff.

[BipolarGrowth]

I’m not quite at that level of difficulty possibly, but with severe bipolar disorder type 1 and a few other diagnoses, I’ve made some amazing growth personally. You can certainly go further than you currently believe is possible. Only your future self can see what that really looks like in the end. 

[Nahm]

On 4/26/2021 at 9:04 PM, chisel said:

If mind-work is difficult and we'll never reach world-class what is the point?

Less conditional experiencing / joy. 

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If the situation turn out to be stable is the self-help world useful?

Yes. Try everything. Only direct experience counts, so to speak. 

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Is there a point to go after life-purpose from such a low-state?

Absolutely. Take Leo’s life purpose course. Don’t hesitate or think about it. A strong sense of purpose Is fundamentally deeply connective and inspiring.