Why Do Women Cheat? (The Psychology Behind Cheating)

[Karmadhi]

Amazing video i found on the topic by someone who probably has had sex with dozens of girls in relationships or married. Take note people.

Edited April 26, 2021 by Karmadhi

[intotheblack]

lack of intimacy and/or unresolved trauma

Edited April 26, 2021 by intotheblack

[intotheblack]

Just now, Peter Miklis said:

@intotheblack doesn't make the things he said untrue

i didn't watch the video yet but was answering to the topic title

[intotheblack]

I just glimpsed through the video.

God that guy sounds like a total dick, I couldn’t stand to listen to him. 
yeah he’s so cool and badass seeking out drunk women to manipulate on their hen nights.

I would be repulsed by a guy like him. 
 

18 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

the other guy could just be better at something, and woman is in the mood. Who knows? Human beings are unpredictable. Doesn't have to be necessarily trauma related.

Just doesn’t always happen in the real world.  Yeah at Vegas parties or parties in general when everyone is drunk. Especially stage blue or stage orange types.

I know several girls who cheated on boyfriends, they were drunk every time. 

not everyone is that horny and out of control of their sexual urges. 
 

39 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

Rather than trying to make monogamy work, how about making polygamy/polyamoury work

Society is not developed enough for true polyamory, only once people have stopped attaching their self worth to other people. 

People need to first focus on creating intimacy with 1 person, before they try and have intimacy with many.  

What he’s talking about is not real polyamory it’s just avoidance of intimate relationships and sleeping with lots of people.  

not fulfilling long term.

 

[Consept]

Don't really like that guy, but on the question I would say a woman is more likely to cheat if she doesn't really respect the guy that she's with but stays with him for whatever reason. 

[Roy]

1 hour ago, Peter Miklis said:

Rather than trying to make monogamy work, how about making polygamy/polyamoury work? Seems much more logical tbh

I'm no shill for monogamy, but you do understand society wouldn't be able to function without it right? It's been a tradition across nearly every society for tens of thousands of years for a reason.

Children need stability and a masculine and feminine authority figures and providers in their life in order to develop healthily. Polyamory introduces far too much chaos and disregard to the structure of the family unit, and opens so many opportunities for selfishness.

Look people are free to do what they want and if they can make it work for themselves that's great, but don't be so eager to project what is really a fringe alternative approach onto a functioning norm.

When people say stuff like, "it's in our nature" as a supporting point it's more often than not a bullshit ego trick being played to justify some kind of selfishness or particular agenda. 

There is a reason monogamy is the norm for society, because it works. People can not like it and whine about it all they want, but that doesn't change anything.

Edited April 26, 2021 by Roy

[Roy]

42 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

God that guy sounds like a total dick, I couldn’t stand to listen to him. 
yeah he’s so cool and badass seeking out drunk women to manipulate on their hen nights.

I would be repulsed by a guy like him. 

Yea he's similar and if I recall involved with some of the old scumbag RSD guys that were all rightfully purged and banned from social media some years ago because of allegations and proof of some really terrible unethical and illegal stuff. One of the biggest ones Owen Cook full out admitted to raping a girl as a joke, which plenty of accusations levied against him. He's since rebranded.

I think he brags and brings up sleeping with something like 1000+ women as a source of credibility. It's kind of sad how many struggling guys are duped into looking up to that as a badge of honor. Not only is that behavior clearly a sign of some deep trauma and insecurity, but there is also no doubt after that many encounters he's carelessly spread STD's and had incidents bordering or crossing sexual assault/rape territory. I mean even just the first minute of the video he's literally humble bragging about manipulating and getting women to cheat like some sort of sociopath lmao.

It's a fucking tragedy these are some of the most popular pick up and dating coaches for men. There needs to be more conscious alternatives or a general renaissance to that community. It's flooded with devilry and selfishness.

Edited April 26, 2021 by Roy

[Roy]

2 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

yeah, those are always 2 main arguments for monogamy. And yet, 50% of mariages end up in divorce and probably 50 - 60% of remaining ones are shit if you look under the carpet. They turn into sexless friendships lol. Chances of finding "the one" are low if any. Seems to me that, for selfish individual reasons everyone should rather be aiming to not settle, rather than settle.

But then again, what about kids! We need fertility over 2 otherwise our nation will die out!?

I'm not an expert but my intuition is these statistics are probably heavily influenced by culture and economic strain rather than the institution itself.

It's hard to say though, we may very well be fucked so perhaps you're right. Let's go full Austin Powers YEEAA BBABBYY YEEAAA!!! 

[Roy]

6 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

Welcome to pick up. If you want conciousness, might as well go monk mode?

I think this pervasive attitude I see on this forum about this topic is just pure laziness.

There is a gradient between pick-up douche and conscious monk.

Perhaps I'll address this when I finally start my own coaching channel. I'm not really interested in focusing too much effort on dating/relationships but I think this topic might be necessary to address.

Edited April 26, 2021 by Roy

[intotheblack]

6 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

50% of mariages end up in divorce and probably 50 - 60% of remaining ones are shit if you look under the carpet. They turn into sexless friendships

i would bet on lack of communication and intimacy. incompatability.  people get married to fit into society.  They don't really care about the best interests of the other person, it's all a big show for the most part. 

again, not everyone stays a horny dog their whole life, some people are content with a companion to grow old with.  who can be bothered with sleeping around at age 50 to 90.  unless you wanna be like hugh hefner.  dunno about you but I would prefer to be enjoying my days with a companion, away from all the drama.

[freejoy]

I think women cheat mostly because they don't believe in the man they are with. They think they can do better.

They have to trust you and where you are taking them.

I wouldn't try to get in her pants but into her heart.

[Karmadhi]

@Roy They sell because their stuff works better than "highly conscious sources". Simple as that. People buy and listen to  what works, not what is "highly conscious". If girls were attracted to high conscious behavior then these guys would go bust really fast, thing is they do not for good reason. Expecting guys to give high conscious advice when girls attraction triggers are so low conscious is a fantasy. It is like trying to appeal salad and broccoli to a bunch of starving kids. They do not want that, they want high calorie high fat foods not to starve.

[Leo Gura]

Because most guys are so lame. When she finally meets an awesome guy who knows how to stimulate her emotions it will be a no-brainer.

Most guys don't even know how to fuck a girl properly.

When it comes to women, most guys are as interesting as a DMV application.

[intotheblack]

2 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

@intotheblack yeah, I would imagine communication and compatibility plays a big role. But when I'm speaking of lack of sex, I mean that, as relationship gets older, excitement dissapears, and it's hard to compensate for it. Of course, your sex drive will dissapear no matter what as you get in your 50's/60's.

yeah it’s normal.  But if you go chasing excitement then you miss out on building deeper relationships.  Eventually the seeking of excitement gets tiring. 
after the initial honeymoon phase is over this is when the transition into genuine mutual love starts (if both people are open to it.) 

Most people never experience this because they don’t wanna let love in.  As cliche as it sounds.
 What usually happens is people don’t get past this stage, or , they half-heartedly do it unconsciously.  Then they wake up years later and realise they wasted time and that no real effort was put into building a deep relationship. Maybe one person put in more effort than the other, or it was just a shallow relationship based of surface materialistic things. 

they have no appreciation for the other person, they don’t really see them. 

Genuine mutual love is very rare so once you have this, then you have to learn how to treasure it because it’s precious.. and as you grow together it gets stronger. 

not saying it will last forever, but with constant communication within the relationship, and deepening the intimacy over time helps it to last long term.  
at this point it’s less likely for someone to just go cheat or look for excitement.  Because this is something deeper that a quick fuck won’t equate to.  

So it depends on the people and how much they are able to appreciate what they have and not be constantly searching for something else.  This is why unfulfilled people do this, searching for something to fill them.. 

..and usually why secure people (those who had childhood needs met) partner off early.  They don’t have difficulties with letting love in and sharing intimacy.  They don’t have the ‘searching’ need. 

so insecure people are constantly searching for something external and wanting more to fill up the void.

but actually once you learn how to create intimacy, and have a deep and secure relationship, a crazy thing happens. You’re deepest needs get met authentically, and then you stop searching. 

that’s the funny thing about needs, once you have them met, you don’t need them anymore.

So really the only way to be truly at a point in life, where you don’t need intimate relationships, you have to first go through high quality intimate relationships and have you’re innermost needs met. 

if you just play the part of not needing anyone, and being detached, it’s really just a coping mechanism and you will never be content or at peace. 

Edited April 27, 2021 by intotheblack

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

@intotheblackPursuing relationships or sex? Or are these 2 inseparable anyway?

How can you have one without the other?

[intotheblack]

3 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

@intotheblack Tbh, knowing all of this gets me confused. What's the best strategy to follow for maximum fullfilment? Pursuing relationships or sex? Or are these 2 inseparable anyway?

both are combined.  The difference is the way you are looking at it.  

You won’t get long term fulfilment by trying to bed many women. What you will get is a bigger ego as the numbers go up, lol, and it’s a long way back down. 

it’s all a big distraction. Think about it, what do you actually get out of sleeping with many women, apart from short term pleasure and an ego boost? 

Couldn’t all this effort be put into something else? 

what is the difference between having sex with 1 woman many times or with many women 1 time each ? 
you still reach the same end goal right? 

so basically it’s focused on trying to get something.  Searching for something. Like in the way people try to get likes on Instagram. It’s a dopamine addiction.  If you don’t get it you feel depressed and like a failure.  Because you have your self worth attached to the outcome. 

If you changed your perception and starting putting the same amount of effort into every social interaction that you have.. Asking people questions, study people.  Learn how to really see people.

Be interested in people and care about what they have to say. You can still use approach, but for the reason of learning, not getting.

Really take a look at yourself and think how you can put more effort into all the relationships in your life. Not only dating. 

Even just talking to the person at the coffee shop, ask them how is their day going? Etc. 
try doing this for 2 weeks.  Really go out and talk to people. 

It will be more fulfilling long term than trying to bed lots of women.  

Pursue relationships, not for the reason of what you can get out of the other person, but for what you can give to them and how you can make them feel. 
you will probably fail many times, but at least you will know you gave it your all.  Then you have experience for when the right person comes along. 

imagine how you would feel if someone came into your life who had a genuine interest in you, accepted you, listened to you, showed you warmth, put effort into the friendship/relationship?  
Aim to be that person! and people will want you in their life. 

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura Interesting how the "awesome guy" in this case is a narcissistic, selfish, manipulative sociopath that brags about banging other guys wives that has struck you as a "scummy". I would never imagine i would have to listen to such low conscious selfish people about "how to be an awesome guy". I am just trying to pick the gold nuggets and remove all the narcissism and selfishness from it. Separate gold from shit basically.

[Leo Gura]

25 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura Interesting how the "awesome guy" in this case is a narcissistic, selfish, manipulative sociopath that brags about banging other guys wives that has struck you as a "scummy". I would never imagine i would have to listen to such low conscious selfish people about "how to be an awesome guy". I am just trying to pick the gold nuggets and remove all the narcissism and selfishness from it. Separate gold from shit basically.

I never said he was awesome per se.

Girls get attracted to narcissistic and sociopathic men who know how to push their emotional buttons and have balls.

As a human being, John is bottom of the barrel. But from the perspective of attracting girls, this is a positive.

I'm not telling you to be like John. I'm telling you to be a good person but adopt some the excitement and charm of a scumbag narcissist.

Bottom line: stop being boring. Girls hate boring. Girls would rather sleep with a murder than a boring dude.

[intotheblack]

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Girls get attracted to narcissistic and sociopathic men who know how to push their emotional buttons and have balls.

Because of trauma 

these types of men will be history when the collective starts parenting properly 

Edited April 27, 2021 by intotheblack

[WaveInTheOcean]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I never said he was awesome per se.

Girls get attracted to narcissistic and sociopathic men who know how to push their emotional buttons and have balls.

As a human being, John is bottom of the barrel. But from the perspective of attracting girls, this is a positive.

I'm not telling you to be like John. I'm telling you to be a good person but adopt some the excitement and charm of a scumbag narcissist.

Bottom line: stop being boring. Girls hate boring. Girls would rather sleep with a murder than a boring dude.

It is perfectly natural that many girls easily gets attracted to narcissistic sociopaths. From an evolutionary standpoint that is. Sociopaths don't let anyone embarrass them without fighting back. They don't care what others think. They portray a strong character that if seduced by the feminine will protect her too, cos then he takes ownership of her, which all girls secretly wants. They want to feel safe and protected from the chaotic world. Of course. Survival.