What do I think of this forum

[Preety_India]

I think there is a lot of antagonistic energy here is how I honestly feel about this place. 

 

[Preety_India]

Something that I don't particularly like but I try to get along. 

It's usually the same people that I run into most of the time. And unless they are into some serious journaling or self actualization, they seem to be stagnating here which gives out the energy of boredom and aggression that tends to get reflected in different interactions on the forum. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm fed up with this whole mutual admiration society thing. 

Be with people who are completely sincere. 

 

End of the story. 

 

[Preety_India]

Everyday I have to remember that I need to be stronger in order to survive in this world and this forum is the start. 

If I can't survive on this forum what are the chances that ill survive in this world 

 

 

Edited April 25, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I feel persecuted here. But that's okay. 

This is just another part of my struggle.. 

 

I don't like to be offensive to someone but does that mean that I should be attacked?

It's merciless. 

 

 

Edited April 25, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I can guarantee that people can't survive even one day if they had to live in my shoes

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

NOT EVERYONE HAS TO BE CONFLICT RESOLUTION MASTERS. 

 no. A no is a no. 

I'm trying to get better everyday at enforcing my boundaries. 

And this shit is bothering me.. 

Remember how you praised me before for being better at raising boundaries. Frankly that has always been my biggest problem and I work around it everyday. 

Maybe you have tons of mental stamina and energy to deal with this and work things out and so you do you. I AM NOT YOU. I AM ME. 

I need to take care of my mental health. I've suicidal ideation issues and PTSD 

You cannot apply the same advice to me that you apply to yourself. 

This is not meant in an antagonistic or aggressive sense. I have no aggression toward you. 

You've been helpful to me. But for you to stay mum in the event of attack is not a show of sincerity. You cannot use such a situation against me and make me at fault because I'm not at fault. 

I was simply having a decent conversation with you. I have done nothing wrong. 

So the thing that this shit bothers me doesn't phase you at all even bothers me more because it shows a lack of care for those who are mentally weak aka people like me. 

Sorry we can't be having this if I'm going to be repeatedly attacked. 

You can keep working on your conflict resolution skills but I'm not into that because it leads nowhere as I know from past experience, it's only invitation for more trouble 

I know what works and what doesn't so I'm going to put my foot down. 

I'm sorry this all happened. But I can't do much 

 

I'm entitled to my boundaries and mental health 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I have to say that this whole thing felt like a massive drill in trying to exercise my ground. 

 

Yes I'm developing my dragon energy. Sooner or later I'll get there. 

But all of this comes at a great mental cost which I cant keep paying. 

 

[Preety_India]

Honestly I'm so tired and done.  My brain hurts. 

It keeps taking me back to the whole notion that people just aren't worth my time and energy. 

No matter how many times I keep that door open to exciting new interactions, disappointments keep coming in and keep dragging me back to where I feel like I should just keep to myself. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

when you say that people perceive reality in a limited way, that's not because of low IQ, that's because they have high emotional intelligence and integrity and possess the sensitivity that you probably lack and so since you don't get impacted much, you don't care much, easier for you. 

What you suffer is the classic problem of a limited perspective of others masquerading itself as a broader understanding of their limited perspective of you, their limited perspective of you simply being a notion planted in your head as a safety net for yourself.. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

This...... In short. 

 

This is one reason why I don't like humans. They can be so inflexible with how they perceive reality. Please don't take that offensively though it's just an error in our cognition. It's simply more strategic for me growth wise to stick around so that I can continually hone my natural born Sherlock Holmesian talent. And sure no problems , for now I'll hold off on the cats ha. This is my own predicament by the way for the rest of my life, its something I'm just going to learn to more intelligently manoeuvre myself around, pick and choose when I take an alternate course of action. Luckily for this online world it has very little effect on me in real life. Long term game, I win. People are limited in terms of how they perceive reality, that's just something I'm going to have to get used to, its like a slight pain I'm still massaging the groove of.

 

[Preety_India]

I think the forum is designed in such a way that people who don't get enough attention feel isolated for some unknown reason and then go into attack mode. 

It's also designed in such a way that everyone feels on edge at some point because it encourages competitiveness rather than cooperation. 

 

[Preety_India]

Eventually this whole thing is not that difficult. 

Decent people come together on a plane and work together 

 

This is no rocket science. 

How do you keep pesky flies out?

 

By being a torpedo. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Wise. 

I try to replace feelings of love I get from hearing approval with my own internal love generated by my spiritual connection to consciousness itself.

In a sense, cut off external feelings of love and reground you sense of love directly in consciousness and being. Or you could reground love into the doing of your art/work. Also, I remind myself that people who praise me are usually not conscious and only do so out of selfishness. If I was a rapist no one would praise me. And there is no reason why I deserve any more praise now than if I was a rapist. So people's praise of me has nothing to do with reality. It's just their self-biased projections -- which I have little interest in.

 

[Preety_India]

This forum is not the real world 

 

This forum is simply a simulation of a world  created out of its own dysfunction surviving on its one dimensional perspective of reality. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

If someone came and cross checked and asked this forum a gazillion times,  "what does it come down to?" then it will be reduced to an utter failure. 

Just shook. 

 

 

You cannot build castles out of sand. 

You cannot build love out of rubbish. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

As Paul said to Corinthians

Without love, your wisdom is nothing but an empty sound  of cymbals. 

 

You achieve nothing. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Feeling way better now after whatever happened yesterday. 

I never really want to be in this aggressive emotional state. 

It gets me worked up unnecessarily. 

 

Edited April 26, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I think the world will be a much better place if everyone simply enjoyed their own company for a hot cute minute. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I think this place is dangerous. 

 

After whatever happened yesterday I was going to get  seizures. 

This place is not okay. 

It is toxic. It is only good for people who have zero personal problems in life 

It is not good for people who are very vulnerable and have personal or family problems. This place will eat you out.. 

There is too much drama here. 

 

The policy of the website does not allow you to completely ignore a person. They can still attack you. 

This is even worse than social media. Because on social media the only problem is addiction and too much socialization. 

That is not the case here. Here people attack and nothing can be done to ensure that future attacks don't happen. 

People make many accounts here. That itself is a huge source of threat.. Because people who hold a grudge make accounts to harass. 

This is not safe. 

Anybody can randomly attack. 

 

The journal does not even have a safety option to turn off commenting from "ignored users "

Everytime for every little thing you have to run to moderators.. Or else nothing happens. 

 

This place can be very dangerous for people who have a prior of history of being stalked or bullied. 

Even if you try to avoid a person, the same person can come back with a different account. 

 

If you don't agree with someone, they start using personal attacks to get their point. There are so many debates that this aspect is impossible to handle. 

 

 

Anybody can claim that whatever you're writing is about them even when it is not. 

 

Leo never took into account the dangerous nature of the internet while creating this website.  He simply wants people to get along but this is not possible if it's going to be an international place. That's merely impossible. 

Also the kind of people that this website attracts are domineering competitive people the fighty types. Even when you tell them to leave you alone they don't have the decency to leave you alone.. It doesn't attract docile sensitive caring cooperative people who are simply focused on their work.. 

Any Normal decent conversation can easily be turned into a big fight by simply trying to provoke the user with personal attacks. And usually that is what happens 

 

Leo does not have a good policy in place to stop personal attacks and attackers.. 

So good people will leave this place because they will get fed up with the abuse. 

Even if you tried your best, options like ignore, the question is how many people are going to put on ignore, there are so few people here even if you put a lot on ignore, you are left with nobody to talk to. 

Even people who are not on ignore normally tend to say something shitty and the damage is done. 

Right now I took a look at my messenger. 80% of it is people sending me shitty messages. Nothing helpful. Nothing beautiful. Nothing uplifting. 

How can you call this a self development forum?

And when you complain, you're gaslighted for complaining. Somebody will come with a long spiritual explanation of you're the cause of the problems you're facing. It is you who is attracted to unwanted things. If you are criticizing others then it's your fault because you're judging them (even if the other person is an instigator and attacking you ), because you're the one having issues, you perceive them this way because YOU ARE THAT WAY..... DOES THIS MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE AT ALL????????????????

How is this objective?

Every time such an objection is raised there is some bullshit spiritual answer given to the problem instead of giving some sound practical advice. Are you living in such luxury???? Yessss. BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE LIVE IN FIRST WORLD COUNTRIES..... OF COURSE.. Of course you can come up with such bullshit answers. Come to a third world country and I CHALLENGE YOU. Let's see how you survive with your bullshit spiritual platitudes there. 

I am indian. I understand spirituality. I'm not STUPID OR DUMB. We don't use spirituality like this. This is shameful. A shameful way of marketing spirituality and making people feel miserable if they are facing a problem. GASLIGHTING. SHAMEFUL GASLIGHTING. 

SPIRITUAL BYPASSING with your Spiritual EGO.. 

That's what I call it 

... If I were at a higher position I swear I would have roasted this place so good. Not Leo. Not his fault. He started everything with good intent. He is a good guy. 

I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TRUST ANYONE HERE. ABSOLUTELY. 

DO NOT CONTACT ME.  I SAY IT AGAIN. LOUD AND CLEAR. DO NOT CONTACT ME. I DO NOT WANT YOUR CONSOLING MESSAGES.. I want none of this drama. 

Today I woke up and I was suffering again. This is it. This is final 

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO with ANYONE HERE. EVERYTHING IS TURNED INTO DRAMA AND I'M TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

I AM not going TO TALK to ANYONE here. 

FINISH. 

Enough is ENOUGH. 

You can't be a good person here. I tried.  It never works. 

Someone is always trying to trigger you to the max.  

MY BRAIN HURTS.... And I'm DONE. 

You know what. With your attitude you will never solve any problem of humanity, let alone your own (if at all you have any problems, because the point is you don't, because people with real GODDAMN problems don't talk like this, they don't have the luxury to be so spiritually sweet all the time )

I AM DONE. I am SERIOUSLY DONEEEEE. 

This is my inner rage. Now don't tell me that rage is bad and gaslight me.. 

MY RAGE IS HELPING ME. 

I will never talk one WORD TO ANYONE HERE ANYMORE. Done being POLITE. Done with the NICETY. 

Done with the social SPIRITUAL GAMING here. SPIRITUAL AND SOCIAL ABUSE HERE. 

 I am an authentic person. I say what I mean. I say what I FEEEEEEEEEEL.  

AND I DON'T FEEL GOOD HERE. 

I ONLY COME HERE FOR MY WORK. Do YOU GET IT????

I'm NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN NOW. I have felt suicidal since yesterday. THIS IS NOT OKAY. 

I have taken enough ABUSE here. 

RACIAL ABUSE. SPIRITUAL ABUSE. SOCIAL ABUSE. I'm done. 

Today I felt like cutting myself again. 

THIS IS NOT OKAY.. 

ABUSIVE NONSENSE FROM THIS GODDAMN HORRIBLE PLACE.. 

THIS PLACE COMPLETELY RUINED MY PEACE OF MIND FOR SIMPLY NOT WANTING TO FEEL LONELY. 

I'M DONE. 

I WILL NEVER TALK TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN HERE. Ever.  GO TO HELL

Do not TALK TO ME.  I don't need even one person to talk to me. Get lost. 

Stop bothering me. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH????????HUH????

What part of "stop bothering me, leave me alone " is not understood????

Just leave me in peace. Leave me alone. 

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO with ANYONE. 

I like my solitude. IT'S BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN BE AROUND HARMFUL PEOPLE. 

Even if they don't mean harm. 

This place is 1000 times worse than social media. 

But my goddamn work of 3 years is tied up here. 

All MY WRITING WORK, MY HARD WORK IS HERE. 

MY HARD WORK OF 3 YEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

DO YOU GET THAT?

I HAVE SPENT 3 YEARS OF SLEEPLESS NIGHTS DOING THAT WORK 

DO YOU GET THAT ??????????

DO YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR ANYONE'S HUMANITY AT ALL?????

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS TO WORK THAT HARD TOWARD MY LIFE PURPOSE ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE... ALL OF YOU.... LEAVE ME ALONE 

 

From today on,  I  AM NOT TALKING TO ANYONE HERE. 

ENOUGH BULLSHIT AND HARASSMENT 

I AM DOING MY WORK AND MY GODDAMN WORK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.  

 

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY WORK,  DO NOT READ. 

STOP HARASSING ME. ALL OF YOU. 

 

 

 

 

 

DO NOT COMMENT ON MY JOURNALS. 

DO NOT 

 

(people who understand me are allowed to talk to me in private ) others NEED NOT BOTHER.