Does being high conscious and egoless mean you become a doormat?

[Holygrail]

I recently had a problem with a bully and I stood up to him rather reactively and got in his face. I would always control myself for the sake of understanding him and being the better person, since he obviously seems stage blue and rather miserable. But today was my breaking point and I felt like this problem wasn't going to end unless I stood up to him and threatened him to stop the BS. 

Edited April 24, 2021 by Holygrail

[Nahm]

@Holygrail

Good for you. ?? 

[Holygrail]

3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Holygrail

Good for you. ?? 

I have no problem with courage, I developed my stage red with jiu jitsu and being a knucklehead between 18-22 hanging out with the wrong crowd. I just wanna act in accordance with what's more conscious and "right". I'm guess pragmatism and fitting in with your environment (stage red/blue environment) is more important for your survival than just trying to be stage green/yellow/turquoise. 

[Leo Gura]

When you are highly conscious you become stronger at maintaining your values and not compromising on them. Integrity increases with consciousness.

Don't confuse Love with pleasing people or feminine compassion. Sometimes Love is harsh and brutal, as in masculine compassion.

A few weeks ago I got into a such an fight with my dentist because he refused to give me a refund for his incompetent work that they were ready to call the police on me. Hehe... I nearly knocked his door down. Walked away with a $1500 refund.

Sometimes you gotta bash some doors in to get your way because some people do not understand anything else. And none of this is incompatible with Love or consciousness. Of course the door was dashed only as a last resort when other more conscious options were exhausted. Don't be afraid to bash a door down when the situation calls for it.

Love and Consciousness != meekness

[Megan Alecia]

Thats why shadow work is a prominent part of the new age community these days. They probably realized that its not all love and light like people did in the 60s.

Edited April 25, 2021 by Megan Alecia

[Holygrail]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

When you are highly conscious you become stronger at maintaining your values and not compromising on them. Integrity increases with consciousness.

Don't confuse Love with pleasing people or feminine compassion. Sometimes Love is harsh and brutal, as in masculine compassion.

A few weeks ago I got into a such an fight with my dentist because he refused to give me a refund for his incompetent work that they were ready to call the police on me. Hehe... I nearly knocked his door down. Walked away with a $1500 refund.

Sometimes you gotta bash some doors in to get your way because some people do not understand anything else. And none of this is incompatible with Love or consciousness. Of course the door was dashed only as a last resort when other more conscious options were exhausted. Don't be afraid to bash a door down when the situation calls for it.

Love and Consciousness != meekness

nice, thanks so much for clarifying this for me. I was dealing with this issue for quite some time now not knowing how to handle such situations, but love can be brutal sometimes  I do believe that having integrity for what's "right" is the most important. 

[Leo Gura]

10 minutes ago, Holygrail said:

for what's "right"

Just don't forget that what's right is completely relative.

[RedLine]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

When you are highly conscious you become stronger at maintaining your values and not compromising on them. Integrity increases with consciousness.

Don't confuse Love with pleasing people or feminine compassion. Sometimes Love is harsh and brutal, as in masculine compassion.

A few weeks ago I got into a such an fight with my dentist because he refused to give me a refund for his incompetent work that they were ready to call the police on me. Hehe... I nearly knocked his door down. Walked away with a $1500 refund.

Sometimes you gotta bash some doors in to get your way because some people do not understand anything else. And none of this is incompatible with Love or consciousness. Of course the door was dashed only as a last resort when other more conscious options were exhausted. Don't be afraid to bash a door down when the situation calls for it.

Love and Consciousness != meekness

[SolarWarden]

Good job. It goes in hand with what Leo said:

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Sometimes you gotta bash some doors in to get your way because some people do not understand anything else. 

There is also the third way which is the loving response. Your intuition will guide you if it is the response needed at the moment. It is quite difficult as it involves "turning the other cheek" and doing a counterintuitive action for the benefit of the oppressor and the whole.

I had some young coworkers who were rude to everybody. They were getting on my nerve until I saw their soft spot. Then I hugged them. They seemed to calm down a bit and called me a nice person. Then eventually their actions got to them and they got kicked out of the project.

The doormat is just another name for disempowerment. It is the easy passive non-action. Nothing spiritual about it.

 

 

Edited April 25, 2021 by SolarWarden

[StarStruck]

On 25-4-2021 at 2:01 AM, Leo Gura said:

When you are highly conscious you become stronger at maintaining your values and not compromising on them. Integrity increases with consciousness.

Don't confuse Love with pleasing people or feminine compassion. Sometimes Love is harsh and brutal, as in masculine compassion.

A few weeks ago I got into a such an fight with my dentist because he refused to give me a refund for his incompetent work that they were ready to call the police on me. Hehe... I nearly knocked his door down. Walked away with a $1500 refund.

Sometimes you gotta bash some doors in to get your way because some people do not understand anything else. And none of this is incompatible with Love or consciousness. Of course the door was dashed only as a last resort when other more conscious options were exhausted. Don't be afraid to bash a door down when the situation calls for it.

Love and Consciousness != meekness

I would be careful going back to that dentist after such an escalation.

Like Socrates said:

I can get angry too to get my way. Last year I was angry at an electronic shop for not taking their used headphones back. They sold me used headphones. Most people just accept their rejection and back off. Not me.

Edited April 26, 2021 by StarStruck

[Lyubov]

This is a common misunderstanding amongst spiritual circles. Never get angry, etc. Anger has a place at the table just as much as every other feeling. That’s a good thing or you would be walked over by bullies lol. The point is to not hold on, let it flow and be conscious. It’s a okay to get angry and stand up for yourself if you are being abused!

[How to be wise]

On 25/04/2021 at 1:01 AM, Leo Gura said:

they were ready to call the police on me.

If you were Black, they would’ve called the police on you.

[Carl-Richard]

As a former doormat, no.

[Leo Gura]

On 4/26/2021 at 10:12 AM, StarStruck said:

I would be careful going back to that dentist after such an escalation.

They perma-banned me. And I would not go back anyway.

[Ar_Senses]

@Leo Gura Wow, great story!

I’ve got that clear once when I was at the stage-green beach party on mdma. Me and two of my friends were watching the sun rising while the guy, who also was under the influence of substance still haven’t got enough for his ego to release. You know, those poor human beings that are very pessimistic and poisoned with hatred and lack of acceptence from the very young age. He was killing our vibe by some subtle movements and phrases. At such a state I was able to even smell his deep pain and sorrow, which made him so toxic.

My friends wasn’t able to set the boundaries but I’ve felt the tension in their bodies, because we were hugging each other while watching the sun.

I felt that I need to use my power, courage and consciousness in order to save that moment for them and myself. With compassion to him inside, I told that guy with some boldness and deep confidence that he has two options — staying with us without killing the vibe, or get the fuck away.

He’s reaction was so predictable and beautiful at the same time. His face got tension in it and he spit some phrase with the anger inside and moved away from us.

Immediately I felt the realise and gratitude within my friends. Both of them hugged me even more and their body’s relaxed at the same time.

I think we can call that “Leadership”.

P.S. @Leo Gura Man, please, check your inbox! Your answer is very important for me and my 21 y.o. cat that I need to feed ?

Edited April 28, 2021 by Ar_Senses

[hyruga]

On 4/25/2021 at 8:01 AM, Leo Gura said:

When you are highly conscious you become stronger at maintaining your values and not compromising on them. Integrity increases with consciousness.

Don't confuse Love with pleasing people or feminine compassion. Sometimes Love is harsh and brutal, as in masculine compassion.

A few weeks ago I got into a such an fight with my dentist because he refused to give me a refund for his incompetent work that they were ready to call the police on me. Hehe... I nearly knocked his door down. Walked away with a $1500 refund.

Sometimes you gotta bash some doors in to get your way because some people do not understand anything else. And none of this is incompatible with Love or consciousness. Of course the door was dashed only as a last resort when other more conscious options were exhausted. Don't be afraid to bash a door down when the situation calls for it.

Love and Consciousness != meekness

@Leo Gura What do you mean by nearly knocking his door down? You threaten to damage his property?

Edited April 28, 2021 by hyruga

[Danioover9000]

  While anger is an emotion, and has a place in being expressed in certain contexts, it's important to let go of it as soon as possible. Anger does have adverse effects on your body when there's too much, from increased temperature, to liver damage, to seeing spots.

[Leo Gura]

53 minutes ago, hyruga said:

@Leo Gura What do you mean by nearly knocking his door down? You threaten to damage his property?

Bashing on his office door.

[Raptorsin7]

@Leo Gura Sounds like this deserves it's own blog post haha

[Inliytened1]

On 4/24/2021 at 6:34 PM, Holygrail said:

I recently had a problem with a bully and I stood up to him rather reactively and got in his face. I would always control myself for the sake of understanding him and being the better person, since he obviously seems stage blue and rather miserable. But today was my breaking point and I felt like this problem wasn't going to end unless I stood up to him and threatened him to stop the BS. 

You would have achieved the most growth by not giving in to your ego and remaining passive.  But you will still gain growth from the lashing out.  You grow regardless from experience and suffering.