Why is it creepy to talk about porn with most people in westernized societies?

[Hardkill]

Before my late twenties, I used to not be comfortable with talking about porn with anyone else because I used to be very shy and actually thought it was very weird to even talk about with anyone, even with those you are close with. However, westernized societies for decades, have become increasingly sexually liberated and entertainment industries including the tv/film industries, music industries, Internet, media, advertisement agencies, etc. in westernized societies keep pushing the envelope on sexual expression. In fact ever since around the beginning of the new millennium, a lot of ads, tv shows, movies, music and what have you have been portraying very graphic sexual content and strong sexual language to the point of being borderline pornographic. Given the current trend of this situation, it seems that this situation only going to keep being more prevalent and intense over time. The porn industry of course keeps making increasingly more hardcore sex material. Also, generally all men watch porn frequently and the majority of women watch porn. Also, most teens and adults in westernized countries have become increasingly more open with talking about sex with their friends and many of their family members.

Therefore, I decided in my late twenties to become sexually open and not be ashamed about it anymore. Yet for some reason, talking about porn with someone you don't know or barely know is considered creepy in most instances even with acquaintances you are on good terms with. Why is that?

Edited April 24, 2021 by Hardkill

[Preety_India]

Talking about porn is creepy everywhere not just western society. 

Why will anyone even talk about porn?

What's there to talk about it anyway?

 

People either jerk off to porn or have sex, nobody is stuck in the middle. 

 

[Hardkill]

21 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Talking about porn is creepy everywhere not just western society. 

Why will anyone even talk about porn?

What's there to talk about it anyway?

 

People either jerk off to porn or have sex, nobody is stuck in the middle. 

 

Okay, but then why has been it considered okay and completely mainstream for ads, tv shows, movies, music and what have you to portray very graphic sexual content and strong sexual language to the point of being borderline pornographic?

Also, why are there more and more people out there saying that you should be sex positive?

Edited April 24, 2021 by Hardkill

[Javfly33]

Because there is some Shame attached to it I think

[Roy]

21 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Yet for some reason, talking about porn with someone you don't know or barely know is considered creepy in most instances even with acquaintances you are on good terms with. Why is that?

You answered it exactly in your own question lol.

There are just some topics in life you have to be tactful about. If someone isn't genuinely interested or explicitly excited to talk about something that is generally sensitive or personal, you let it pass and keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself.

Yes society has double standards and contradictions about "taboo" things, too bad. They exist for a reason most of the time.

Culture is a constantly developing and shifting framework, and the people within it will not always perfectly match that framework . So this explains why you can have parts of it that are marketing heavily sexualized contents, while socially people don't really want to discuss those things.

[Preety_India]

10 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Okay, but then why has been it considered okay and completely mainstream for ads, tv shows, movies, music and what have you to portray very graphic sexual content and strong sexual language to the point of being borderline pornographic?

Because sex sells 

 

[Hardkill]

Just now, Preety_India said:

Because sex sells 

Yeah, I know that, but why is doing that not creepy? Like why is it not creepy for movies and tv shows to show all of those pornographic scenes and why is not creepy, weird, or a turn off when tons of rappers talk super dirty about sex?

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Yeah, I know that, but why is doing that not creepy? Like why is it not creepy for movies and tv shows to show all of those pornographic scenes and why is not creepy, weird, or a turn off when tons of rappers talk super dirty about sex?

Because why will producers care whether it's creepy or not, as long as they make money. And public is too lazy to fight against media. 

 

[Hardkill]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Because why will producers care whether it's creepy or not, as long as they make money. And public is too lazy to fight against media. 

I am not talking about the producers. I am asking why most consumers or customers are not turned off by the very crude sexual language mentioned in music such as those rap songs made by Cardi B or Lil Wayne or those borderline porn scenes shown in a lot of movies/tv shows?

[Preety_India]

@Hardkill because it's taken in the context of entertainment or something illusory, not something real, just as people like watching horror movies but they don't want to see a man dressed in black holding a knife peering through the door slit after returning home. 

 

 

[Hardkill]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Hardkill because it's taken in the context of entertainment or something illusory, not something real, just as people like watching horror movies but they don't want to see a man dressed in black holding a knife peering through the door slit after returning home. 

True. Porn is also in the context of entertainment or something illusory, not something real, right? So why not talk about it with anyone?

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

True. Porn is also in the context of entertainment or something illusory, not something real, right? So why not talk about it with anyone?

Because talking about it makes it real. I don't think people are very comfortable discussing things that usually create strong reactions. 

Just as people don't discuss pedophilia. 

Some people think it might get them in trouble. 

 

[Etherial Cat]

50 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

for some reason, talking about porn with someone you don't know or barely know is considered creepy in most instances even with acquaintances you are on good terms with. Why is that?

If this is what leads you to ask this question, then porn isn't your problem. 

When you meet someone new, you are on probation. The person will assess where you fit and if you are a danger or not. So as a consequence, each thing you do or say will be used to make an opinion on whether you are someone to feel relaxed with or not.

Bringing up porn with strangers at the very beginning is triggering a red flag. It shows an abnormal pattern with a subject which is held hidden in first interactions because of necessary social boundaries and potential social turmoil. So when you speak about porn or sex lightheartedly with a stranger, they'll 1) notice you don't observe etiquette 2) feel threatened in their boundaries 3) going to be afraid that you do not control your sexual impulses.

The situation would be comparable if you'd start a conversation with a stranger asking them about their poop or about the smell of their armpits or whatever. They'd assume you're not fully in control on social conventions nor of your animalistic instinct. Which feels threatening.  

[Hardkill]

5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Because talking about it makes it real. I don't think people are very comfortable discussing things that usually create strong reactions. 

Just as people don't discuss pedophilia. 

Some people think it might get them in trouble. 

 

So, would talking about violent stuff like bloody wars, brutal battles, guns, boxing, MMA, hurting, or killing someone also be things that most people aren't very comfortable talking about with others because of how intense those reactions create?

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So, would talking about violent stuff like bloody wars, brutal battles, guns, boxing, MMA, hurting, or killing someone also be things that most people aren't very comfortable talking about with others because of how intense those reactions create?

Generally yes.  You'll find a lot of people who are sensitive to such topics. 

I don't remember discussing murder with someone. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Hardkill I think you watched too much Game of Thrones. 

On a side note, you can always find a niche group of people who will calmly discuss all sorts of Gore and other stuff. 

 

 

 

 

[Hardkill]

15 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

If this is what leads you to ask this question, then porn isn't your problem. 

When you meet someone new, you are on probation. The person will assess where you fit and if you are a danger or not. So as a consequence, each thing you do or say will be used to make an opinion on whether you are someone to feel relaxed with or not.

Bringing up porn with strangers at the very beginning is triggering a red flag. It shows an abnormal pattern with a subject which is held hidden in first interactions because of necessary social boundaries and potential social turmoil. So when you speak about porn or sex lightheartedly with a stranger, they'll 1) notice you don't observe etiquette 2) feel threatened in their boundaries 3) going to be afraid that you do not control your sexual impulses.

The situation would be comparable if you'd start a conversation with a stranger asking them about their poop or about the smell of their armpits or whatever. They'd assume you're not fully in control on social conventions nor of your animalistic instinct. Which feels threatening.  

Then that means that many of those rappers and rock musicians show an abnormal pattern of not observing etiquette and give off a strong impression of being inclined to threaten women's boundaries and must make countless women feel afraid that they do not control their sexual impulses. Yet, those same rappers and rockstars have slept with tons of women, including a lot of hot women, without paying them for sex. That's what I don't totally get.

[Hardkill]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Hardkill I think you watched too much Game of Thrones. 

On a side note, you can always find a niche group of people who will calmly discuss all sorts of Gore and other stuff. 

Oh yeah, I watched entire series of it of course. It's probably the most brutal series I've ever watched given the intense amount violence, gore, and sex in it. Yet, it's ironically super popular and okay to talk about with most people.

[Preety_India]

@Hardkill what do you exactly want to discuss about porn?

 

[Hardkill]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

@Hardkill what do you exactly want to discuss about porn?

 

I'd like to discuss about the different kinds of genres of porn, the specific pornstars, and the specific scenes they watch and I watch. I also like to talk both which scenes and pornstars we think are the best, like how they have the AVN awards that judge which adult actresses and scenes are the best ones of the year.