Second Experience: 16mg 5-meo-dmt (insufflated)

[Don_Avocado]

Hello all,

If you haven't already, please take the time to read my initial post on my first experience with 5-MeO-DMT (12mg).

After getting some advice from more experienced psychonauts on the forum (coming to this a complete novice), I have adjusted my insufflation technique; this trip was far, far stronger than before.

I have to stress the importance of coming into this psychedelic with a mindset that is totally ready to let go; this includes being in the right environment - safe, warm, quiet and secure - any potential psychological insecurities / neuroticism you will want to satisfy as best you can before using the substance.

This dose I took knowing I would have people over in 2 hours or so; this thought in the back of my mind (I believe) prevented me from making the most of this experience... though, it was still mind blowing...

Proper insufflation and higher doses (this time 16mg) make an unfathomable difference. This time, perhaps 10 minutes in, the trip hit me full on... I find it quite hard to recall given that there was literally no thought at the time. I was lying back, head off my bed, allowing the substance to gently do it's work... The next thing I know, the boundaries of my body were exploding; the mind was extinguished completely. I can't explain the consciousness that I felt, but it was far beyond anything I have ever experienced during meditation. I knew myself to be the consciousness of the universe; this was experienced directly. I was no longer aware of bodily processes, such as breathing etc... it was truly bliss. You really have to allow this to happen; there's no use panicking. I found my vipassana practice to be crucial in this process.

This was not such a gentle experience as my first trip... after being punched in the face by this universal consciousness, my reality (for lack of a better description) went into orgasm... that's all I can allude it too. My entire reality lit up with sexual energy - imagine the very peak of one of your more intense orgasms, and imagine that pleasure enduring for over a minute... my nervous system lit up like a Christmas tree... no word of a lie, I felt that I had ejaculated, and a light scent of bodily sweat pervaded my experience... though I still had no tangible sense of a body... These feelings were coming for no particular spacial location; they were all I knew at the time.

The trip got stronger... at this point, I became aware of the fragility of my human body. I could perceive my sensory experiences, but again they were located in no particular spacial location. I was universal consciousness, and there was no room for the body or the mind. I felt as if my body and mind were being squeezed; I felt like they would explode under the pressure - it felt like they would break apart and disintegrate. I knew to go further I would have to be completely ready to let go; I would have to surrender into death, and then burst into infinity... I did not do this. A nagging thought in my mind kept me from going with it fully - people would be coming around later - what if I'm still in this state when they arrive? I had no idea what my body might be doing in this moment... was I writhing around... was I covered in ejaculate... was I screaming... these all seemed possible at the time. Although I had these worries, I didn't identify with them or let them consume the experience; I merely held this state. It was not the time to burst right then.

It was all very intense. I can't describe the love and pleasure inherent to the state I was in... although that boundary between that state and surrendering into the unknown (into death) was seemed pretty formidable. I must stress again the importance of being in the right environment for this! No distractions.

You feel truly vulnerable in this state, as if your soul was bare and naked for the universe to see. It felt as if all those whom I were close to where there, watching me in this naked confusion... it was that weird feeling you get when someone walks in on you doing something you shouldn't be... I didn't know where I was...  You just have to go with this; are you ready to expose yourself; to be 100% vulnerable?

I thought I was going to vomit as this consciousness tried to force my body and mind into submission... then I felt something strange... the sensation of warmth and fur in what I assumed was my hand.

I thought I had been alone in my room; somehow my cat had been sitting under the bed without me knowing... I opened my eyes, and there she was staring me straight in the face... she curled up, purring next to me... I'd never realised before how calming her presence was... we can learn a lot from cats; truly enlightened beings. It was almost as if her calm and vacant expression was coercing me into surrender. Her gentle presence was soothing. All I know in this moment was love. That's all there really is... I'm sure of that now... love, universal consciousness, whatever you want to call it.

As the experience began to fade... it was if I was awakening for the first time; seeing my room through new eyes... what the fuck had happened? Had it really only been 20 minutes?.. I (the ego) had not died, yet I knew life wouldn't be the same again - it was like rebirth. The vulnerability felt during the trip lasted for at least another 20 minutes; a very confused and 'grasping' state.

I felt ok to walk at this point. I got up and was glad to find that I had not ejaculated, and I was not dripping with sweat... my throat was hoarse so I have no idea what had happened there - I assume there was some drip from the substance, as surely the cat would have gone mad if I had been shouting / screaming...

I put some music on for a bit, and just laid back with the cat in my lap, stroking her & being with the music... this was great.

After an hour or so from insufflation, I went for a walk outside. I live near a beautiful canal - and walking down this I truly saw the beauty nature. The shimmering water, refracting the red/purple sunset hue; crunching autumn leaves under foot; the trees blowing, and the gentle wind upon ones face.

As per my first post, I must stress again that there is NOTHING to pursue... (explanation) In these experiences, the strength of all attachments to conceptual things (i.e. the ego, perceived objects of reality, thoughts etc) is reduced; ultimately, I expect these attachments are surrendered (let go of) entirely as we surrender into them - although that requires conceptual death... I don't think anything can prepare a person for that - there's no room for panic - only bravery & acceptance. I hope when I do break through that barrier, I am able to do so with some dignity. The presence of "things" in our reality is a comforting reminder that we are alive; you have to let go of it all to experience God - I see what Leo & others are talking about now...

Has anyone got any advice on breaking through? 16mg was insane... what do I need be be mindful of in stepping up my dosage? Would it be wise to hang fire and have another few rounds at this intensity?

The world seems pretty perfect right now.

Edited October 27, 2016 by Don_Avocado

[Tancrede Pouyat]

So here are my tips. But I haven't ever tried any psychedelic before so keep that in mind.

In his video, Leo says 20mg is a light dose, 16mg can be considered a really light dose. Effects vary between individuals, you clearly have a low tolerance, probably because it's your first psychedelic. You'll probably break through at 25 mg, who knows.

Maybe leave a little more time in between trips, not because of physical tolerance, but just so that there's more anticipation. And make sure you leave time open by yourself to integrate the experience.

Other than that, you seem really ready to surrender, which is perhaps the most important point. Breaking through really involves full 100% psychological death. And you gotta surrender to that, but I doubt you'll have too much trouble with, so you're good to go.

[Leo Gura]

@Don_Avocado Good, but there's deeper to go! Your mind hasn't been utterly blown yet.

Doesn't sounds like you've experienced God yet You've merely glimpsed one of God's nose hairs.

Absolute Infinity awaits!

[Leo Gura]

I'm stilling waiting for the post from you where you simply say:
 

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[strwbrycough]

@Leo Gura even after that expeirence I went back and looked at some of the old content you were right you look at some of the stuff and it's like what is this kindergarten bullshit? What did you do next? a lot of the content is for people who didn't partake, it's like to the point I can see why you would get a strong intuition to move on but it's really like what now everyday life feels like meditation just being the observer, just this empty vessel in which it does me. What were those following days weeks months concentrated on for you? 

[Leo Gura]

@strwbrycough I'm not clear what you're asking.

5-meo effects wear off after about 45 minutes.

[strwbrycough]

@Leo Gura that's the effect but you see your self for what you actually are.. now what? All these concepts from the videos are good and solid but the scaffolding has fallen over. What did you start to do and focus on strategically in the following days weeks months after the experience. 

[strwbrycough]

And realization 

[Leo Gura]

@strwbrycough It's a funny thing. You see that you are God, but then you drop back down into human form. Life continues like normal. But you still have the frightening memory that you are actually God.

For me, personally, it's totally revolutionized my understanding of reality. Opened me up and made me extra-serious about doing God's work and mastering all the levels of consciousness possible before I die.

Whenever that memory comes back, it jolts me back onto the spiritual path like a cattle prod. But of course it's not enlightenment. Although perhaps if it happens another dozen times, maybe it will be. Who knows? That's what I'm experimenting with. It's so powerful no words do it justice and unless you've tried it, there's no way you can understand.

And the scaffolding has not fallen over because you have a lifetime of spiritual purification to do, even if you happen to become enlightened quickly. Enlightenment doesn't make you a good person, it doesn't teach you how to interact with other human beings, nor how to master all the various aspects of your human form.

[David1]

On 27-10-2016 at 10:12 PM, Don_Avocado said:

, yet I knew life wouldn't be the same again - it was like rebirth. The vulnerability felt during the trip lasted for at least another 20 minutes; a very confused and 'grasping' state.

Sounds familiar...how can i ever go back to lead a 'normal' life after knowing this 

[electroBeam]

Imagine all of the people who have died on this planet, and just before they completely died they all said "OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"