Does Success Hurt Woman's Dating Chances

[Raptorsin7]

@wwhy You are not engaging in good faith. You're playing ego games

Edited April 25, 2021 by Raptorsin7

[wwhy]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@wwhy You are not engaging in good faith

Notice how you did not respond to my content, and tried to personally attack me again?

Here come the personal attacks. Unfortunately am not using my real name with a link to my u-tube channel, so you have nothing to work with. You are great at trolling though, I'd give you that much.

[Raptorsin7]

@wwhy What response. You are calling me out on my ability to articulate. How do you expect me to engage with that?

You are an unwise fool from my pov. You don't need a youtube channel for me to see that

[wwhy]

Just now, Raptorsin7 said:

@wwhy What response. You are calling me out on my ability to articulate. How do you expect me to engage with that?

You are an unwise fool from my pov. You don't need a youtube channel for me to see that

Am sorry the rich indian girl did not want you. But then turning around and generalizing against all women and being bitter about success or successful people is a looser attitude. Make something of yourself. Get to work boy!

[Raptorsin7]

@wwhy Haha you have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not bitter against success, how are you getting that out of what i'm typing. You are delusional. 

Go learn how to meditate.

[wwhy]

2 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@wwhy Haha you have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not bitter against success, how are you getting that out of what i'm typing. You are delusional. 

Go learn how to meditate.

Stop crying rivers here about what successful women don't want, and how hard it is to be successful working as a lawyer 90hrs a week. Thats looser speak. Use your imagination and get to work. Then you wont have to be bitter about what successful women are doing.

Edited April 25, 2021 by wwhy

[Raptorsin7]

@wwhy Haha you must be trolling me now. Dude at least have some good faith. 

You may disagree with what i'm saying or resent my jabs but i am telling you what I believe and have experienced. And if you want to a question a specific belief i'd be happy to discuss it. But you don't want to engage in good faith.

 

[wwhy]

3 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@wwhy Haha you must be trolling me now. Dude at least have some good faith. 

You may disagree with what i'm saying or resent my jabs but i am telling you what I believe and have experienced. And if you want to a question a specific belief i'd be happy to discuss it. But you don't want to engage in good faith.

 

From what I've read, whatever you believe or have experienced is of no value to me, but thanks for sharing. I've nothing else to discuss with you, have a good day.

[Raptorsin7]

@wwhy

6 minutes ago, wwhy said:

whatever you believe or have experienced is of no value to me

Cool. Literally complete delusion but do whatever you want.

[Raptorsin7]

I think this thread has run it's course. Thank you everyone for your responses

@Forestluv @mods please close the thread

[Consept]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

If I've to be very honest without coming off as offensive, and apologies in advance if I did, whenever I think of success in the black community, it's usually the image of some black woman that pops up, like Oprah Winfrey or Beyonce or Michelle Obama.  I think when I think of successful black men, it's usually some NBA player like Kobe, which is actually a physical activity 

Of course success can be anything but my estimate or speculation is that academically speaking, the women in the black community do far better than the men and then it elevates their financial status making it difficult for them to find black men on the same level. However this problem can be resolved if majority of black men worked hard and accomplished more and secured a better life financially then it would be much better and easier for black women, the solution would be to upgrade yourself rather than downgrade her progress. 

I'm not offended but it is a limited view, you think of sports men first because that's what is presented in the media, but there are loads of black, male professionals. Let's say its around even male and female professionals, the males are more likely to go out with a female that earns less or at least willing to. The females are not and here in lies the problem. So it's not an issue of downgrading females or upgrading males, there are enough males in that category they just don't want those females. 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Consept said:

I'm not offended but it is a limited view, you think of sports men first because that's what is presented in the media, but there are loads of black, male professionals. Let's say its around even male and female professionals, the males are more likely to go out with a female that earns less or at least willing to. The females are not and here in lies the problem. So it's not an issue of downgrading females or upgrading males, there are enough males in that category they just don't want those females. 

But I had read somewhere a few years ago that black women had huge trouble finding black men who are in the same income bracket as them. I cannot make broad claims because this is something I read. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@modmyth that could be another point as well.  But I think it's typical in black community that black women find it difficult to date and I don't think it's their fault. 

 

[Etherial Cat]

1 hour ago, modmyth said:

@Consept @Preety_India I've read that a great deal about this has to do with interracial dating as well, specifically that black men tend to date outside of their race a lot more than black women (if we're talking about in the States), and that many black women tend to have an issue with this. I don't know how much of it has to do with attraction (and frankly, self-directed racisim), social conditioning, other socioeconomic factors, etc.

Whenever I've heard black women claiming that "good black men" are scarce in the USA, it has to do with how much social violence is directed towards them and the consequence derived from it.  

A lot of black men are wrecked emotionally due to various traumas which are skewing their chance to be stable and build a career on top of the usual plague ruining the community nowadays (war on drugs, mass incarceration, poor neighbourhoods, discrimination etc).

As racism cause a lot of self-hatred (rejection cause a wish to conform to the rejecting group in order to gain its love), black folks tend to avoid the stress by marrying out of their race. But it's not only the case for blacks, latinos and asians will do the same. In south america, they'll call this "furthering the race".

Regarding statistics, it seems that when it comes to dating, black females in the USA are the least wanted group for interracial dating. Now, I'm not sure why it is the case. I think that black folks are generally speaking the further away from eurocentric features which tend to set the tone for aesthetics  standards, so it displeases potentially a lot of individuals. But black males get away with it much better than the average black females does usually.

I think it is because black men are benefiting from some of the stereotype and racism as an enhancer to their masculinity. In the collective unconscious, the black man is this hyper virile cool survivor.

But when it comes to black females, the collective unconscious features assigned to them comes off as at odd with what the idealized western version of femininity is. Black females are seen as "savage" while the ideal white female is "angelic". They are hypersexualized while the ideal white woman "is demure", etc. That's of course the remains of the narration which was used to justify the dehumanization and sexual exploitation of the black female. 

Also, femininity can only flourish in a protected environment. The more I reflect on this, the more I realize how being and looking feminine is a luxury. It's hard to do that when your community is at the bottom of the social ladder. Beauty is expensive. And when it comes to female beauty, what I have notice is that it depends a lot on "framing". Marginalized group don't have the means nor the time to frame themself as "beautiful". And it wouldn't be wanted.

Anyway, to go back to the point. My tdlr should be: Black women in the USA are saying that good black men are scarce because black men are subject to a lot of social violence that leave stains on them, and they've got more opportunities than them to date outside their race. Which creates an even deeper shortage of "good men".

Edited April 25, 2021 by Etherial Cat

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Femininity can only flourish in a protected environment.

Femininity also tends to flourish less and less when your self esteem is being pounded  on constantly  by the opposite sex

 

 

[wwhy]

10 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

But when it comes to black females, the collective unconscious features assigned to them comes off as at odd with what the idealized western version of femininity is. Black females are seen as "savage" while the ideal white female is "angelic". They are hypersexualized while the ideal white woman "is demure", etc.

When it comes to bodies, I feel darker is seen as more masculine, while lighter skin is seen as more feminine. Even in western culture (romance novels etc), it is always the tall dark handsome man hooking up with the blonde.

Edited April 25, 2021 by wwhy

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, wwhy said:

When it comes to bodies, I feel darker is seen as more masculine, while lighter skin is seen as more feminine. Even in western culture (romance novels etc), it is always the tall dark handsome man hooking up with the blonde.

Yes but this is matter of perception and social conditioning and not truth. 

Should a black woman consider herself as undesirable just because society decided to label her that way?

 

[Etherial Cat]

3 minutes ago, wwhy said:

When it comes to bodies, I feel darker is seen as more masculine, while lighter skin is seen as more feminine. Even in western culture, it is always the tall dark handsome man hooking up with the blonde.

Yes, I think it is tied to how femininity is seen as "pure" while masculinity is seen as "profane".

11 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Femininity also tends to flourish less and less when your self esteem is being pounded  on constantly  by the opposite sex

Women love to feel beautiful!

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Etherial Cat said:

Yes, I think it is tied to how femininity is seen as "pure" while masculinity is seen as "profane".

Women love to feel beautiful!

And that's such perceptions of female beauty only serve to denigrate women, especially black women 

 

[wwhy]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Yes but this is matter of perception and social conditioning and not truth. 

Should a black woman consider herself as undesirable just because society decided to label her that way?

 

I think all women are beautiful in their own way. Variety is the spice of life.

And going by the latest archeological discoveries, if there was an eve, she was a black woman.