Does Success Hurt Woman's Dating Chances

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Lots of people here are weak and not good competitiors. Canada is very soft and sheltered, it's one reason why first generation immigrants can become successful so easily

If that's the case, then good for you. Why would you face any difficulty in getting the woman that matches your criteria?

 

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Why would you face any difficulty in getting the woman that matches your criteria?

 

Because this is mostly an intellectual exercise and I don't know if that person even exists. I definitely have high standards and I hope I can find someone who lives up, if not then i'll adjust. 

[Zeroguy]

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Wait... so what’s being said here is that one would rather have a girl who is a wage slave working a job she hates than a girl working in a job that she is passionate about?  

No but women with higher income tend to be more masculine and you also have to deal with her ego boosted shit on top of ussual stuff. 

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

or she should already be rich because of family?

Also more shit on top. 

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

And then said girl should be willing give up her hopes and dreams and make her career the children and husband? 

 

Nobody says that. Most of women have desire to cling and be lead. When she finds that partner her desire for dreams and hopes slowly fades away. 

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

 

Good luck finding a conscious girl who wants to be at the beck and call of a man, higher up on the spiral. 

"Conscious girls". It's a game and it always was. Including "high conscious" just an excusse. 

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

You guys should be looking in stage purple/blue communities to find this type of girl..

More into hippie ones. 

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

..then I suppose it will make you feel more of a man, knowing that you have a wife who is under your control financially, and that you have the position of high power in the relationship.

Yes exactly. What's wrong with that. Always put yourself in position of co trol and power otherwise you will get pulled by your nose constantly. 

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

I’ll tell you what will happen... she will become depressed, you’ll end up replacing her and she will be left with no career skills or money of her own... 

Everyone responsible for his/hers own life. Nobody to blame. 

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

..she will be miserable but stay in the relationship because she is dependant on you for money.. 

Same response. 

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

...and if she wises up and files for divorce she will be entitled to 50% of all your wealth (which is what stay at home moms get without a doubt, and maybe more) 

50% of wealth made while in marriage. 

Stay safe. 

[intotheblack]

Or what it seems to be is that it’s more about the attitude or mindset of the person, rather than the career itself.  

The issue arises if the woman is cold and detached, and working let’s say what might be perceived as a ‘mans job’ or a job that consumes a lot of time and there is no time left for pursuing relationships.  Which I would also add that a man doing the same thing would also not have fulfilling relationships since he would also not have time for that. 

there seems to be this image that if a woman has independence and doesn’t want to be financially dependant upon someone, then she will only get some weak ass man who wants to be controlled lol 

Also what is being assumed here is that said woman is striving for success for the purpose of believing that this will help her attract a man.  Or that if the woman is successful it must mean she’s not as physically attractive so is choosing career to try and make herself more attractive (in the way that men do) which I don’t think is the case,  for women they are doing that more out or choice, not because they think it will attract more men.

—-

If the woman has all the feminine traits, whilst at the same time having a career and making her own money, she won’t have problems to attract a man ? 

Would you feel more comfortable if the woman was successful in some feminine related job, such as.. self-care/beauty, art, hair, makeup, teaching, yoga, feminine energies etc.  These jobs can make a lot of money if done right... would that also be threatening or is that more acceptable since it’s not a ‘masculine job’ ?  Or only if she made more money than you in these jobs it would be a problem? 

I don’t know any girls/women who don’t work, infact growing up and relationships day to day, both people have jobs.  It’s usually an equal balance.  These days 1 income isn’t enough to take care of an entire family - wife and children, unless you are loaded. Most relationships need 2 people to be making money. 

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

More into hippie ones. 

You mean you want a hippo?

 

Edited April 24, 2021 by Preety_India

[Zeroguy]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You mean you want a hippo?

 

Just joking.Mostly because of naive love & joy guys. 

Edited April 24, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Parththakkar12]

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Or what it seems to be is that it’s more about the attitude or mindset of the person, rather than the career itself.  

The issue arises if the woman is cold and detached, and working let’s say what might be perceived as a ‘mans job’ or a job that consumes a lot of time and there is no time left for pursuing relationships.  Which I would also add that a man doing the same thing would also not have fulfilling relationships since he would also not have time for that. 

That is correct.

3 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

there seems to be this image that if a woman has independence and doesn’t want to be financially dependant upon someone, then she will only get some weak ass man who wants to be controlled lol 

Either that or a sociopathic player who will try to take advantage of the situation, who will try to scam her for her money using the relationship as a tool. This is unfortunately true. Independence means that a man can't step into a role in your life, can't take the lead in your life.

You can be successful but not necessarily independent though. The way to do that would be to offer the other person a role in your life. That's a lot more feminine! Offer the other person a role in your life that they can step into. Even if it's in your success-chasing endeavors.

6 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Also what is being assumed here is that said woman is striving for success for the purpose of believing that this will help her attract a man.  Or that if the woman is successful it must mean she’s not as physically attractive so is choosing career to try and make herself more attractive (in the way that men do) which I don’t think is the case,  for women they are doing that more out or choice, not because they think it will attract more men.

This is probably a male projection, because it is true for men. Men do tend to pursue careers to attract women and to appeal to women.

7 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

If the woman has all the feminine traits, whilst at the same time having a career and making her own money, she won’t have problems to attract a man ? 

Would you feel more comfortable if the woman was successful in some feminine related job, such as.. self-care/beauty, art, hair, makeup, teaching, yoga, feminine energies etc.  These jobs can make a lot of money if done right... would that also be threatening or is that more acceptable since it’s not a ‘masculine job’ ?  Or only if she made more money than you in these jobs it would be a problem? 

I would feel more comfortable.... on the surface. It depends on how she does it though. For example, a lot of actresses who you can say have a 'feminine job' tend to have a very masculine success-oriented energy. When I got out of the pattern of objectifying women, I stopped finding them attractive.

[Raptorsin7]

4 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

If the woman has all the feminine traits, whilst at the same time having a career and making her own money, she won’t have problems to attract a man ? 

Yeah, having a career isn't inherently negative, no one is saying that. And it's not about manipulating woman either, if the woman is the mother of your child, how you treat her is going to affect how your child turns out. If you love your children you aren't going to manipulate the person they are closest too. 

The problem occurs because successful woman tend to have many masculine traits, because you need these traits to compete and be successful. But when it comes to relationships with men, men don't like masculine woman. Also, if a woman is spending 60+ hours a week on her career, how much time is there for you and the family, you have to be a master of time management. There's also the potential for your wife to work a demanding career later in life when the kids are grown up.

7 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Would you feel more comfortable if the woman was successful in some feminine related job, such as.. self-care/beauty, art, hair, makeup, teaching, yoga, feminine energies etc.  These jobs can make a lot of money if done right... would that also be threatening or is that more acceptable since it’s not a ‘masculine job’ ?  Or only if she made more money than you in these jobs it would be a problem? 

It's not about the type of career tbh. If you are a very successful instructor you will likely put in the same blood, sweat and tears as someone who built a construction company. It's what it requires of woman to be so successful that is the issue. How can you be raised/learn to be a great partner and attract high quality man, and have the ability and talent to run successful companies. All of men's masculine traits that woman find attractive favor successin business, it's not like we have to learn an entire new identity to attract woman.

It's not a problem of her making more money. That becomes an issue in general when woman expect the men to value their income, and you have a 4/10 woman who makes 200k expecting to land a 9/10 man, and all her friends cheer her on, but in reality most man value looks and a guy like that won't date a 4.

10 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

I don’t know any girls/women who don’t work, infact growing up and relationships day to day, both people have jobs.  It’s usually an equal balance.  These days 1 income isn’t enough to take care of an entire family - wife and children, unless you are loaded. Most relationships need 2 people to be making money. 

Yeah most people in my life are the same way. But i think when raising kids it's important to have a partner be at home for the formative years. I have an aunt who's a lawyer and she still works because of the desire to be an independent woman etc etc, and I know she feels guilty about leaving her kids with a nanny, and her husband makes 4 times what she makes and she doesn't even have to work. That's the kind of thing I would be skeptical of, like I understand if you had to work and it made financial sense, but some people do it because of pure ego.

[intotheblack]

9 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Nope. What's being said is that we'd want a woman who prioritizes the relationship/family over her career. She can have a career and be passionate about it! Just don't do it to 'attract a guy to your passion for your career' cuz that doesn't work. That's polarity-flipped at best.

This thing about prioritizing your relationships/family is not even a gender-role thing. Anyone would want to be prioritized by their partner above their career! Otherwise, you're just being taken for granted in the relationship. This also applies to women with provider husbands who are 'too busy' to spend time with them. Those tend to not end well either.

Well this is normal with healthy relationships.
I also wouldn’t want a husband who was 90% working. 
the thing is, most people don’t have the privilege of not having to work.  

Women work after leaving school, they want to have their own money to buy what they want etc. don’t want to be asking permission to buy something or asking for money. 

Eventually if have a child I would want to stay home for the first 3 years. Then I would continue to work part time. 
Or if I could work from home, whilst staying with the baby i would do that. 

Its especially important to be present with the child in the first 3ish years of life, this is when the blueprint is set. 

what I don’t agree with is that the woman should be expected to do everything whilst the husband works all of the time and is doing what he wants, and wanting to control finances.  And then he doesn’t have time for the family either. 

I have resistance towards this because this was my parents marriage so I’ve seen it first hand.

my mam was very stage blue and my dad stage red/orange  

 

[Zeroguy]

@intotheblack Well I would give my wife my wallet. But regarding what to invest into it's my final say. 

We have saying here woman is neck and man is a head. 

[intotheblack]

@Parththakkar12 @Raptorsin7 

20 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

You can be successful but not necessarily independent though. The way to do that would be to offer the other person a role in your life. That's a lot more feminine! Offer the other person a role in your life that they can step into. Even if it's in your success-chasing endeavors.

yeah I know what you are saying. 
personally, I have never had this strive for success. women around me were always quite career focused, so I actually assumed this is just a lazy trait of mine. But I’m also not the most confident person so that adds to it. I have good work ethic, but I have no desire to try and have a huge career.  I want to make money by being creative, but I’m happy for a man to take the reigns. An ideal situation for me would be a joint business, like having a shop, but i would want to do that with my partner, not alone.  
I’m not against a man taking the lead if it’s in a healthy way. 

[Raptorsin7]

6 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

yeah I know what you are saying. 
personally, I have never had this strive for success. women around me were always quite career focused, so I actually assumed this is just a lazy trait of mine. But I’m also not the most confident person so that adds to it. I have good work ethic, but I have no desire to try and have a huge career.  I want to make money by being creative, but I’m happy for a man to take the reigns. An ideal situation for me would be a joint business, like having a shop, but i would want to do that with my partner, not alone.  
I’m not against a man taking the lead if it’s in a healthy way. 

You're lucky. If your goal is to find a high value partner and have a family you are way better off than if you were working 80 hours a week as a successful profession trying to balance life.

Some woman bury there heads in work from 22-30, and when they look up they want a family and look around to see that their options are severely limited. The most valuable thing they have is their career, and when men don't care you're fucked

Edited April 24, 2021 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

Haha when men say this kind of stuff I bet they get shamed and shouted down by people in their lives all the time. Feel bad for suckers like that. If anyone, male or female, doesn't understand this stuff you have lots to learn

[Zeroguy]

@intotheblack Gotta commend you. Heathy normal stuff.

Teal Swan. Jesus Christ. 

@Emeraldis there too just need to let go a bit and realize most people are not like her. Way way lower on scale. Has to adapt to that not deny or forgets. 

Edited April 24, 2021 by Zeroguy

[intotheblack]

@Raptorsin7 there needs to be more explanation in what you mean. 
If you simply say successful women aren’t attractive, that will be taken negatively.

success can mean a lot of things to many people. 

what you are really saying is you aren’t attracted to women with more masculine traits. 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Haha when men say this kind of stuff I bet they get shamed and shouted down by people in their lives all the time. Feel bad for suckers like that. If anyone, male or female, doesn't understand this stuff you have lots to learn

If you put it in a way that comes across as healthy, you won't be shamed and those who shame you would do it simply out of misunderstanding. 

However you need to understand that sometimes abusers and controllers also have similar demands because they want a dependent partner. 

It's hard to make a difference and draw between genuine intent or a controlling need.. 

[Zeroguy]

Funny how nobody wants to say that if woman is more successful then you she will use that card far more often then man. 

But "You see where the doors are at" solves it all. 

[intotheblack]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

If you put it in a way that comes across as healthy, you won't be shamed and those who shame you would do it simply out of misunderstanding. 

However you need to understand that sometimes abusers and controllers also have similar demands because they want a dependent partner. 

It's hard to make a difference and draw between genuine intent or a controlling need.. 

Yeah. They need to be more clear what they mean or people will take it the wrong way for sure. 

[Raptorsin7]

@intotheblack @Preety_India I understand that, that wasn't really my point.

[intotheblack]

Another thread of misunderstandings ???

Edited April 24, 2021 by intotheblack