Does Success Hurt Woman's Dating Chances

[Zeroguy]

@Raptorsin7 Exactly. Average man. Looks count 80%.They very well know it. 

Women are more all around. 

 

[Parththakkar12]

On 22/4/2021 at 11:29 PM, Emerald said:

So, he might not get hot for my life-purpose, but I do... and he gets hot for that.

I do not relate to this at all. I truly want to know - what's in the relationship for him? Why does he stick around in the relationship with you? Sounds like it's all about you and your career, no space for him in the relationship.

[Lyubov]

8 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

@Lyubov Men are different. We don't care.

But what kind of a man you are if you can't take your lady out in decent restaurant atleast?! Just an example. 

 

 

That's the thing. I'm not against men paying for women and providing and buying them nice stuff, especially if their gf isn't a career woman cause unless she comes from a rich family or has an onlyfans she wont have much of her own money. When does the providing start though? before or after sex? when should the guy start really putting out? girls are afraid of putting out sex and feeling used. guys are afraid of putting out cash and feeling used. it's that spider man meme with them both pointing at each other. a girl's "bodycount" is how many guys she got to spend on her with her not having to put out herself. 

Edited April 24, 2021 by Lyubov

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I would prefer an educated, wealthy etc partner

This is where you go wrong. If you want a wealthy partner, how can she be wealthy without having a career. If she is wealthy by inheritance, her parents are most likely going to pressure her to find a successful career because they want to extend their wealth, plus they are living in wealthy circles where its important to have a great career for social status. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Raptorsin7 your criteria is antithetical to social norms because these days there's pressure on both men and women to have a career, and not just a career, but a good high paying career, after going through all the hoops you get a fair chance of having a partner. 

So you can surely get a girl who is working at McDonalds but she might be looking for climbing up the ladder as well. 

Its fine if you're rebelling against social norms,  nothing wrong with it, but social norms are here to stay. You gotta find a way around it rather than the other way around. 

 

[Raptorsin7]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This is where you go wrong. If you want a wealthy partner, how can she be wealthy without having a career. If she is wealthy by inheritance, her parents are most likely going to pressure her to find a successful career because they want to extend their wealth, plus they are living in wealthy circles where its important to have a great career for social status. 

 

Yeah I was thinking her family is wealthy, or she has a very low demand high income career.

And no i don't think that wealthy families necessarily want their children to have very successful careers to add to the wealth. Once you have enough money it's no longer just about money and you begin to value other things.

I'm assuming there are many rich families where the parents want their kids to focus on something other than a career because they have the freedom. Imagine a father who worked his entire life to build a fortune. He may want his kids to enjoy it

[Parththakkar12]

13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Parththakkar12 well if someone came with a huge inheritance, they don't need to struggle so hard for a living.kinda easy to say airy fairy things. 

The world population is rising, job opportunities  are constantly getting lower, with automation even harder, talent pool is huge, unless you with a forever meal   ticket from your parents and a house, you aren't going to beat the market without being career driven especially if you come from poverty. The luxury of following your dream passion without a wage slavery job that doesn't focus much on stage orange ideals is right now only afforded by the rich, how do you account for the millions of people struggling to make a living, when even getting a low end minimum wage job means you have to be extremely career driven and hard working. In a situation where the guy doesn't make much, both the girl and the guy can only have a family if both work.. So you can easily say that career is a distraction, but if a husband is superbusy earning to help the whole family, it's not for distraction It's a need for survival, in fact the poorer the couple, the more hard work both have to put in. You act like socioeconomic factors just don't exist.. 

Ah, so it's this story of 'how hard it is to survive' that makes you career-driven. From what I've seen, this whole story tends to be a coping-mechanism for lack of self-worth. I'm not saying it's not true, I'm saying that it is rooted in low self-worth in relationship. It's more about social approval and maintaining a standard than about survival itself.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Yeah I was thinking her family is wealthy, or she has a very low demand high income career.

And no i don't think that wealthy families necessarily want their children to have very successful careers to add to the wealth. Once you have enough money it's no longer just about money and you begin to value other things.

I'm assuming there are many rich families where the parents want their kids to focus on something other than a career because they have the freedom. Imagine a father who worked his entire life to build a fortune. He may want his kids to enjoy it

If this happens it's golden. In my family, the father was a professor and he pressured his both daughters to become doctors and they are both doctors.. Married to doctors as well.  So I don't see that. That has to be very forgiving and nice parents who think so much about their kids. Most parents especially from my own culture put extreme pressure on kids, the richer the parents, more is the pressure. I went to college where all of my colleagues had parents who were either a PhD Or doctors. There was intense pressure on the kids to become doctors, both guys and girls and many of them are successful now, not necessarily happy, but successful, they did what their parents wanted them to. 

Also a high income career is never low demand. The whole career job money market is based on Stage Orange Dynamics where market dynamics are very important, demand and supply is constantly deciding the amount of income earned, in fact most people get laid off simply due to decrease in demand. So I can't think of such a rare career. 

You're probably looking for a particular exact niche which is hard to find. 

[Zeroguy]

7 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Yeah I was thinking her family is wealthy, or she has a very low demand high income career.

And no i don't think that wealthy families necessarily want their children to have very successful careers to add to the wealth. Once you have enough money it's no longer just about money and you begin to value other things.

I'm assuming there are many rich families where the parents want their kids to focus on something other than a career because they have the freedom. Imagine a father who worked his entire life to build a fortune. He may want his kids to enjoy it

Kids to enjoy it. Rap grow up please. 

 

 

 

 

@Lyubov Fair point. 

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

If this happens it's golden. In my family, the father was a professor and he pressured his both daughters to become doctors and they are both doctors.. Married to doctors as well.  So I don't see that. That has to be very forgiving and nice parents who think so much about their kids. Most parents especially from my own culture put extreme pressure on kids, the richer the parents, more is the pressure. I went to college where all of my colleagues had parents who were either a PhD Or doctors. There was intense pressure on the kids to become doctors, both guys and girls and many of them are successful now, not necessarily happy, but successful, they did what their parents wanted them to. 

That's because lots of PhD's and Doctors are insecure intellectuals and have no wisdom. People assume that if you're a PhD or a Doctor you are an elite human being, it's such a joke.

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You're probably looking for a particular exact niche which is hard to find. 

Yeah I am very picky. I am young and most of this is just in my head, but i'm realistic. If I don't meet someone when I'm actively looking for a partner I will drop standards like these very quickly depending on who I meet

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Ah, so it's this story of 'how hard it is to survive' that makes you career-driven. From what I've seen, this whole story tends to be a coping-mechanism for lack of self-worth. I'm not saying it's not true, I'm saying that it is rooted in low self-worth in relationship. It's more about social approval and maintaining a standard than about survival itself.

Hmm. No its about plain survival. Not about social standards.  In my country even highly educated people are working at McDonalds because the competition has gotten so tough. With increasing population, stress and increasing competition, not to mention inflation and housing rates, survival has become progressively tougher. 

I'd say that my father earned more than me despite having low education in a clerical job back in his day, simply because there was no competition, very few people were available for the job and the pay scale was significantly higher in comparison to inflation only because the population was quite small in the city where he worked 

 

 

[Raptorsin7]

2 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

Kids to enjoy it. Rap grow up please. 

Haha i was just giving a random example, I could be wrong about all that its just speculation for the most part.

 

[intotheblack]

Wait... so what’s being said here is that one would rather have a girl who is a wage slave working a job she hates than a girl working in a job that she is passionate about?  

or she should already be rich because of family?

And then said girl should be willing give up her hopes and dreams and make her career the children and husband? 

Good luck finding a conscious girl who wants to be at the beck and call of a man, higher up on the spiral. 

You guys should be looking in stage purple/blue communities to find this type of girl..

..then I suppose it will make you feel more of a man, knowing that you have a wife who is under your control financially, and that you have the position of high power in the relationship.

I’ll tell you what will happen... she will become depressed, you’ll end up replacing her and she will be left with no career skills or money of her own... 

..she will be miserable but stay in the relationship because she is dependant on you for money.. 

...and if she wises up and files for divorce she will be entitled to 50% of all your wealth (which is what stay at home moms get without a doubt, and maybe more) 

Edited April 24, 2021 by intotheblack

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

That's because lots of PhD's and Doctors are insecure intellectuals and have no wisdom. People assume that if you're a PhD or a Doctor you are an elite human being, it's such a joke.

And why do you think this is the case?

If everyone thought like you and me, society would be at a much better place. You have a stage Green thinking where you place value on mutual joy love and happiness. That's why you say such things, kinda idealistic, just like me. 

However society works on Stage Orange largely. 

To break it to you in simple terms - society never worked on wisdom. It works on social dynamics and trends, set by people who don't have wisdom. 

 

[Zeroguy]

@Raptorsin7 Just to help you out a bit. 

I hope that you get that lady. But keep in mind she will "love" you more if you make your own money even if it is much much lower then if she knows all your money comes from your parents. 

 

[intotheblack]

Basically what you men want is a girl lower consciousness that you so you can easily control 

[Raptorsin7]

@Zeroguy I know I appreciate it. Not gonna lie it hurt a bit haha

I understand.

Just now, Zeroguy said:

But keep in mind she will "love" you more if you make your own money even if it is much much lower then if she knows all your money comes from your parents. 

If it's about survival why does it matter?

[Preety_India]

@Raptorsin7 if you're living in America or Canada and still assuming that you won't be in a society that is elitist then good luck lol. You're living in the part of the planet which has some of the most elitist mentality, there's tougher competition there than in a stage purple society 

 

Edited April 24, 2021 by Preety_India

[Parththakkar12]

1 minute ago, intotheblack said:

Basically what you men want is a girl lower consciousness that you so you can easily control 

Nope. What's being said is that we'd want a woman who prioritizes the relationship/family over her career. She can have a career and be passionate about it! Just don't do it to 'attract a guy to your passion for your career' cuz that doesn't work. That's polarity-flipped at best.

This thing about prioritizing your relationships/family is not even a gender-role thing. Anyone would want to be prioritized by their partner above their career! Otherwise, you're just being taken for granted in the relationship. This also applies to women with provider husbands who are 'too busy' to spend time with them. Those tend to not end well either.

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

there's tougher competition there than in a stage purple society 

Lots of people here are weak and not good competitiors. Canada is very soft and sheltered, it's one reason why first generation immigrants can become successful so easily