Understanding ghosting by females

[flowboy]

1 minute ago, modmyth said:

I think this is one of those situations where people would learn a lot if they were the "hot chick" for a while, and likewise, if the girl was you so she knew what it felt like.

Agreed.

Wanna start a secret body switching society?

[Arcangelo]

9 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Is she playing hard to get or not interested at all? I don't want to appear pushy by triple texting her. 

DUDE!!

NEVER ever Double text in your life.

You already appeared pushy when you double text her, if you triple text her you will appear stalky and harrassy 

OH Man! I remember when I was like you! Bro not interested... AT ALL. NEVER gonna happen.

You have a lot of room for improvement. Welcome to actualizing.

 

[Arcangelo]

7 hours ago, Roy said:

You don't want her anyways. People who chronically ghost are immature and it shows low value. If they can't handle the emotional labor of being honest and simply communicating how they feel, or that they are busy, then they are fucked when anything difficult comes up and things get real.

Don't take it personally, she's in the wrong not you. Forget it and find someone better.

What a good post!

Thank you sir I will keep in mind.

[Jacob Morres]

1 hour ago, modmyth said:

People who are more detached/ hardened tend to do better at this sort of game for a reason.

abundance makes it really easy to be detached though 

[flowboy]

1 hour ago, modmyth said:

I would 100% be down for this.

Cool. So now we need symbols, hand gestures, a catchy name, and a place to do occult experiments

[Arcangelo]

4 hours ago, flowboy said:

@StarStruck Yes, good! You need to lose that innocence anyway.

Make sure you don't get bitter though, that is very important! Don't become a redpill loser. It's okay to be angry for a bit when a girl fucks you over, but try to be compassionate and not take it personally. Girls are cold to you, in the same way that we are cold to them.

How, you may ask? Well, to a girl, your attractiveness is not constant, but always changing. She may think you are cool at first, then you say or do something which makes you come off needy, and suddenly you are unattractive. It's the same as if she were suddenly to grow a beard and become obese. You'd be cold to her too, and cancel the date for sure. I know it's a hard thing to wrap your mind around, but your attractiveness to her is not constant. Which is a good thing in a way, because you can always center yourself, fix your attitude and become attractive again. But if you just met someone, you are both just not that invested yet, so any sort of maybe becomes a no.

It doesn't reflect personally on you, just on the particular behavior that you displayed and the impression she got from that due to her projections and subjective life experience thus far.

 

In this case, she was never that interested. It was a 'meh' from the beginning, it seems. Not her fault, not your fault, just not a great spark. A great initial interaction is what increases the chances of a girl showing up. She has to be excited. And she gets excited when she actually had fun meeting you.

 

Then there is the issue of her manners and your boundaries. You gotta have some standards for what behavior you will accept. If you don't like it when she doesn't reply after you set a date, then screw this one. Why still worry about whether you are coming off needy? If she's not treating you right, and you are still considering spending your precious time on her, then you aren't treating yourself right. And so she will feel your lack of self-worth and also not treat you right.

See how that works?

Just keep going, don't worry

 

PS. Park date is fine, just be a bit more cocky about it. You don't need to ask her how she is first, that's boring nice guy shit and will turn her off. Just get to the point. Have a plan, and make her contribute something. If you want to do a picnic, tell her to bring strawberries and refuse to say why. If you want to have her over for dinner, have her bring desert. If you are just doing a walk in the park date, have her get you a cappucino and wait for you at X location.

See how you can make it more interesting?

Remember, you don't need to be doing anything fancy, but you do need to lead her. No leading = no sex.

So stop asking if she wants to take a walk, that's already too weak. Tell her. Let's take a walk. Important difference! If you can't communicate in an assertive way, she's never going to let you fuck her anyway, trust me on that.

Excellent reply!

Thank you sir.

[StarStruck]

Looking back at it I know all the things I did wrong. I was emotionally attached and I need emotional validation. Girls can feel that. And I felt that she felt it.

Since I'm developing my chakras and third eye I can basically read people's mind by noticing their energies change. I still have to guess what they actually think but when you know how they feel by feeling their energy level it is not very hard to predict what they think.

At one point of the interactions I was making too many jokes/acting clownish although I already pulled her in and that definitely lowered my status in her eyes. I was just happy.

My inner game is still ****ed though. I was looking for excuses to not approach anymore and my ego found a reason to be depressed. I know there are more fish in the sea but fish are not going to bite if they sense depression/low energy. I'm very busy at this moment so I can't put a lot of energy in my inner game.

Edited April 20, 2021 by StarStruck

[Ero]

@StarStruck That's gonna happen a lot. Women are just flakey until they get attached. Just move on. Analyse where maybe you weren't on point with your game, improve and move on. There could be a thousand different reasons, some of which may not even concern you. So don't overthink it. 

[Gili Trawangan]

Ghosting is just a lazy way of demonstrating they are not interested in you. There was maybe a faint of interest before, but it's no longer enough to keep anything going.

I didn't use to understand this either, but now I live in a place where I have literally a few thousand matches online and I can't keep up with them. So I either don't text at all, or sometimes I start texting and then I forget to resume the chat, often conversations are left hanging either by me or by the women. And I never take it seriously, and (I assume) neither do they. Because everyone is coming from a place of abundance.

This is just the explanation of it, I'm not saying it's right. In an ideal world, everyone would be super considerate of others' feelings all the time, but that requires effort. I certainly understand where they're coming from now, it's just too much work to keep up with all the people hitting you up. It could be a full time job. A reasonably attractive woman will have dozens, or hundreds, or thousands, of guys hitting her up all the time. She's only going to be considerate to someone that she's already invested in, or someone for whom she has a lot of attraction.

[StarStruck]

37 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

Ghosting is just a lazy way of demonstrating they are not interested in you. There was maybe a faint of interest before, but it's no longer enough to keep anything going.

I didn't use to understand this either, but now I live in a place where I have literally a few thousand matches online and I can't keep up with them. So I either don't text at all, or sometimes I start texting and then I forget to resume the chat, often conversations are left hanging either by me or by the women. And I never take it seriously, and (I assume) neither do they. Because everyone is coming from a place of abundance.

This is just the explanation of it, I'm not saying it's right. In an ideal world, everyone would be super considerate of others' feelings all the time, but that requires effort. I certainly understand where they're coming from now, it's just too much work to keep up with all the people hitting you up. It could be a full time job. A reasonably attractive woman will have dozens, or hundreds, or thousands, of guys hitting her up all the time. She's only going to be considerate to someone that she's already invested in, or someone for whom she has a lot of attraction.

Creating abundance is not easy for me. Not a lot of easy options available through tinder. To get dates I have to grind it out during day game. It is hard to have abundance mindset when you are doing this.

[flowboy]

6 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Since I'm developing my chakras and third eye I can basically read people's mind by noticing their energies change. I still have to guess what they actually think but when you know how they feel by feeling their energy level it is not very hard to predict what they think.

Bro why don't you just tell them this. Girls love that shit. Lead into it by asking: "Do you believe in X?" "Can you keep a secret?" Or something like that. Then she will challenge you to read her mind. You'll venture a guess, and no matter if it's correct or not, she'll be entertained and attracted, and more likely to not ghost you. Provided you have some self humor about it too and allow her to be skeptical or find it funny.

Now you have an authentic story or 'routine' you can say to get people's interest.

This is excellent.

You have to try this.

Basically any mind reading / cold reading game are great for initial interactions and making it fun. And anything with the word 'energies' in it is basically a hack to have a passionate conversation with a girl you just met.

Edited April 20, 2021 by flowboy

[StarStruck]

3 minutes ago, flowboy said:

Bro why don't you just tell them this. Girls love that shit. Lead into it by asking: "Do you believe in X?" "Can you keep a secret?" Or something like that. Then she will challenge you to read her mind. You'll venture a guess, and no matter if it's correct or not, she'll be entertained and attracted, and more likely to not ghost you. Provided you have some self humor about it too and allow her to be skeptical or find it funny.

Now you have an authentic story or 'routine' you can say to get people's interest.

That is actually what I'm already doing (without the guessing game part). Perhaps when I'm more advanced I will try to use what you said.

My focus at this moment is to just hold my frame in the interaction, which is more than difficult for me when the girl is neutral towards me and doesn't give me a lot to work with.

I'm also working on emotional impact/connection but these topics are already too advanced for somebody who is doing day game. If I can just hold frame and have a flowing interaction on a consistent basis I would already be happy. This is my bottleneck at this moment.

[flowboy]

@StarStruck Also try holding a silence every now and then, with eye contact, so that she feels the need to say something and contribute to the conversation. Stories/routines like this are great, but they have to 'deserve' them by also contributing to the conversation, promising to keep the secret for you, et cetera.

Sounds like you're doing fine bro, just keep going. Reward yourself for good process instead of good results

[Gili Trawangan]

44 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Creating abundance is not easy for me. Not a lot of easy options available through tinder. To get dates I have to grind it out during day game. It is hard to have abundance mindset when you are doing this.

Actually, daygame is a fantastic way of creating abundance. Keep approaching, the turning point is when it starts to be fun. Don't stop approaching until there is a girl who is heavily invested in you. Work on your skills, start getting a lot of numbers and before you know it there is abundance there. Trust me, it can be done, think positively.

[Roy]

15 hours ago, StarStruck said:

She was very hot so I thought this is a new plateau. And I thought I reached it. At this point I don't even have the energy to approach anymore. I need to change my mindset but I don't know how. 

Who cares how hot she was. She ghosted you and that's on her. The first key to changing your mindset is to stop wallowing. You won't be able to consider any new mindset if you're in a negative state of mind.

Anyways, you shouldn't be approaching too much right now anyways with Covid. Until everyone gets their shots and restrictions are lifted it's just irresponsible. Save your energy and just use tinder instead in the meantime or focus on something else entirely.

[StarStruck]

4 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

Actually, daygame is a fantastic way of creating abundance. Keep approaching, the turning point is when it starts to be fun. Don't stop approaching until there is a girl who is heavily invested in you. Work on your skills, start getting a lot of numbers and before you know it there is abundance there. Trust me, it can be done, think positively.

@flowboy I know the road map. The problem is that pickup is triggering a lot of emotions. I'm either in euforia or I'm deeply depressed. 

When I'm in a stage of euforia pickup is effortless (focus on process instead or result), when I depressed it is the other way around; focusing on result instead of process. 

Currently I don't have control over these emotional states. I think I will take a 1-2 week break. I'm not used to this emotional labor. My therapist is on vacation and I have to do this by my own. 

[flowboy]

26 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@flowboy I know the road map. The problem is that pickup is triggering a lot of emotions. I'm either in euforia or I'm deeply depressed. 

When I'm in a stage of euforia pickup is effortless (focus on process instead or result), when I depressed it is the other way around; focusing on result instead of process. 

Currently I don't have control over these emotional states. I think I will take a 1-2 week break. I'm not used to this emotional labor. My therapist is on vacation and I have to do this by my own. 

That's fine. Bite off as much as you can chew, but not more. It's good to find your edge of discomfort and live there, growing at a rate that doesn't make you crumble. You need breaks to integrate, too.

You'll be motivated to take it further as long as you have a sex drive, so nothing to worry about there.

[StarStruck]

50 minutes ago, flowboy said:

That's fine. Bite off as much as you can chew, but not more. It's good to find your edge of discomfort and live there, growing at a rate that doesn't make you crumble. You need breaks to integrate, too.

You'll be motivated to take it further as long as you have a sex drive, so nothing to worry about there.

I don't have a sex drive because of my porn addiction. I'm doing this with a dried sack. If I did this work with a sex drive I would kill it. My biggest problems are internal: no self control and no self discipline ?

Edited April 20, 2021 by StarStruck

[flowboy]

19 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I don't have a sex drive because of my porn addiction. I'm doing this with a dried sack. If I did this work with a sex drive I would kill it. My biggest problems are internal: no self control and no self discipline ?

Guess you have something to work on during your break then!