Understanding reality

[Megan Alecia]

Understanding reality

[Megan Alecia]

Life is all that there is

Story of my life

The storm aka life. Chaos, change, suffering. Consciousness and nothingness. Duality and nonduality, and so on and so forth.

Edited April 19, 2021 by Megan Alecia

[Megan Alecia]

Human behavior for dummies

Edited April 19, 2021 by Megan Alecia

[Megan Alecia]

I suck at writing right now. Writers block is a real thing.

The ideas in my head are all incoherent and don't make sense. 

Ive got really dirty thoughts but I'd rather not tell them here.  I'm straight I think, but find girls beautiful too. But I don't want to f*ck them. Yea. That's clarified now, I think.

On the other hand I'm sure I don't like this body I have right now. That's such an unappealing statement but it's the reality for transwomen. Or at least me.

[Megan Alecia]

I want to get fucked by a man. Like regular fucking. Also, being eaten out is like nice too, actually erotic once you're there.

The problem with writing about sex is that you're not there.

I wonder what being on estrogen is like. I've found that the skin gets firmer and smoother... which is amazing. I want those lovey dovey primal female emotions too. 

Yea, the way I write this thing makes it so against me atm.

Tesla's right - "Not having solitude cripples the creative mind." Nothing like being intimate with your own thoughts. 

But yea. I want some intimate relationship. Body to body and mouth to mouth and mouth to other parts. Ugh.

Edited April 28, 2021 by Megan Alecia
Closed fucking journal stay away lol

[Megan Alecia]

Everyone is on the front row seat of their own existence. 

That's why no one wants to be called stupid. Nothing worse like having a stupid person operate your entire life.

I want to smell good and be clean. Maybe that's ocd but I actually mean it, of course reasonably so. Nothing wrong with our regular scents though.

Idk what else to write. So yea. That's all for today I guess. 

[Megan Alecia]

Had a dream today--two actually. One is about me creating a crack on a person's skull because I thought he was gonna hurt me in some way (which I forgot exactly in what way). Then it shifted to me stumbling at a party with my past schoolmates in it. One of them told me that the consequence would be me going to school only two or three times for the rest of the year, with two or three students. She also kinda volunteered and was like promising me how she and someone else would spend time with me the rest of the year. As the dream went on I kinda went with someone, kinda pulled them aside and said something about my future situation and felt like the girl with her didn't like me at all. Then I felt like massive shame all over my body. All the characters were female actually...

Edited April 28, 2021 by Megan Alecia

[Megan Alecia]

Reddit is the most shameless display of human hypocrisy honestly. It's all a charade. Surely those people cannot walk that overly moral talk.

Edited May 11, 2021 by Megan Alecia