she just rejected me im dying help

[Preety_India]

@AlwaysJoggin @AlwaysJoggin@Al

A respectful guy wouldn't degrade the woman publicly. It's just an observation. 

 

 

Edited April 20, 2021 by Preety_India

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Preety_India but no ones feelings is being hurt here? you see the disconnect? dont worry about the words im using its the message im trying to convey maybe as a girl you don't feel that . i dropped out highschool grade 9 im not an intellectual this is how i express my self 

[Preety_India]

@AlwaysJoggin yea I get that. I'm just thinking that there could be more to the story. You don't need to be an intellectual to know the difference between respectful and derogatory language. Even a 3rd grader would know it. It's more about the inner core than intelligent use of language. 

 

[Preety_India]

@AlwaysJoggin also if you get attached to her so quickly (which I don't believe) it says more about your issues than hers. Maybe you need to do a bit of Shadow work to see where all this negativity is coming from? 

 

[kras]

I am also in a very dark place these recent days i have even wrote a post. 

Just notice that this rejection triggers something in you , its not the girl that is the reason for your pain.

Something deeper is going on here, so investigate that. 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, kras said:

I am also in a very dark place these recent days i have even wrote a post. 

Just notice that this rejection triggers something in you , its not the girl that is the reason for your pain.

Something deeper is going on here, so investigate that. 

@AlwaysJoggin I agree with this. You néed to investigate this 

 

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Preety_India ye my bad i was never tout that. also i don't think im negative what's negative about me lol wtf? and yes there is way more to the story its fucked up thats all im gonna say this girl basically finessed my emotions thats im sure about and she knew what she was doing . ofcs i need work im a fucked up human too life been doing me bad since day one 

[Preety_India]

@AlwaysJoggin I'm talking about the negativity where you feel so low because of this rejection and you're allowing yourself to be so impacted when you hardly interacted with that person. 

I mean that was a very short time and it seems very unusual to get attached so quickly so you might want to work on yourself to not have such attachments 

 

 

[AlwaysJoggin]

@kras yes i want to be around a girl and share and connect with her and fuck too you know? and not get shattered like a glass, im not spirituality there yet to identify the root tho to why being denied sex love and attention and being tossed hurts me. i hope that shit didnt hurt it just does

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

@kras yes i want to be around a girl and share and connect with her and fuck too you know? and not get shattered like a glass, im not spirituality there yet to identify the root tho to why being denied sex love and attention and being tossed hurts me. i hope that shit didnt hurt it just does

Everyone needs love. But you need to fix a part of you where you feel like you instantly deserve it or else everything has fallen apart. It shows a deep neediness that you need to fix. 

 

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Preety_India cuz i really liked her she was sexy her smile use to make me weak and she was only girl that made me blush because how sweat she was with me  and i can't help it i just catch feelings easily if someone offers the opportunity which she did! i wouldn't have been so hurt if she wasn't interested in me since day one but that wasnt the case! she give me attention that a needed yes 

[Preety_India]

@AlwaysJoggin but you can't rely on someone in such a short period of time 

 Give at least 2 months before you begin to believe someone. The neediness should be on both sides. 2 weeks is a very short time.

 

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Preety_India yes im needy because she filled a void in my life i didn't realize existed. i honestly didn't think i would fall in love again with a women but it's beautiful i want it again know. its like a dealer giving you a dose of heroin. 

[Leo Gura]

@AlwaysJoggin The solution is to stop being needy and develop abundance.

The harsh truth you don't want to accept is that you're needy. Which is why this whole thing bothers you. And she probably smelled it off you and ran away.

The only thing that will lose you girls faster than neediness is creepiness. Girls know how to sniff out neediness the way pigs sniff out truffles. She sniffed you out for a week or two and found you lacking.

You will keep losing girls until you bite the bullet and grow into a stronger man with some balls.

[Preety_India]

@AlwaysJoggin need to get rid of that neediness. You should cultivate self love and understand that first off you need to fulfill yourself enough 

 

[Gili Trawangan]

4 hours ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

when we started talking she was already braking up with this guy who i'm much better that him i'm not just saying this it's actual fact i know him and she basically left him after i started showing around  because she saw that i was a better fit but i think yesterday she started talking to a 3rd guy!!!!!! or maybe i'm wrong.

Aside from the neediness, this quote is a good example of "what goes around comes around". If you have no qualms about taking the girl from another guy whilst bragging that you're better than him, how can you be mad that the same thing happens to you and someone else gets her? What if she found a guy who is "actual fact better than you"?

Do you see how unhealthy that way of thinking is? I would take some time to have a hard look at your whole perspective and how you yourself might have caused the whole situation. It may be painful but it will help you to grow in the long run.

[Eternity]

@AlwaysJoggin Try to think of it this way: you may very well have dodged a bullet.  She dated you two weeks which was enough time for her to gather a little information about you.  Maybe there was something that she didn't feel compatible with you on and didn't feel you and she would ever be able to compromise about.  Or maybe as she said, in her family they change partners and in her mind she was becoming too attached and didn't yet want to settle into a steady relationship.  I had a guy propose to me on our first date, and we were both young.  I liked him, but a declaration of love and a proposal was way too premature in my mind.  So I felt if I dated him, he would pressure me into something we weren't prepared for.  Luckily he was in the military and was shipped out soon after.  I had to eliminate another guy who declared he loved me, but he was a serious alcoholic and I didn't want to try to reform him so we could have a relationship.  It's often not about you, but it's about her hangups.  And I also know from experience that she will feel guilty for breaking it off suddenly and leaving you clueless and hanging.  I've had it done to me, and I spent a week either crying or on the verge of crying.  Tried to go out or at least drive around some and almost got in an accident because I was crying again and couldn't see.  I thought I never would love again.  But here I am years later married with kids and the past has faded.  Consider yourself lucky to have so many chances with so many other girls you would never have met if you were still with her, a broken person.  The universe merely cleared the way so that you can find the one who is worth your love.

Edited April 20, 2021 by Eternity

[Ero]

@AlwaysJoggin What @Preety_India is pointing to is worth considering about your attitude. When a man is needy and sexually frustrated his perspective is greatly distorted. She's right about your framing and wording. At some point when you wish to have a worthwhile GF, she wouldn't tolerate this attitude.

But for you to reach this point you have to build yourself up and learn how to attract girls. For that what @Leo Gura refers to is the most effective way of building yourself up. But first drop all of this bitter rhetoric, because that is only slowing you down. And that is coming from someone who had immense frustration with women and feelings of incompetence.Believe me, I had the same exact story like yours at the beginning of 2020.

What you were espousing is literally cancer for your development as a man. So it's best to stop victimising yourself and take ownership. You shouldn't feel like that she owes you, because that's just not true. If you want badass women to be attracted, you gotta be worth it. And that's not gonna happen if you get stuck in this debate. 

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Eternity hey thanks for sharing that's so good to hear i'm still trying to understand women it's still a big mystery for me . here i have a question there might not be a clear answer to but this is fucking with me. so also this girl invited me to her room to talk but didn't really talk and told me to come lay in bed with her and when i layed down iwent for a kiss she was like what are you doing but she said it softly i told her can i kiss you? she said no i was like super confused why would a women tell a man to lay in bed with her if she wont even kiss him? should have i just went for it anyways did the no mean yes? was she playin hard to get and wanted me to force it cuz she is into that weird ultra masculine behavior?.

how come she doesn't want to kiss me if she likes me? like she says that she likes me but why would she lie to me ??? doesn't make sense does it or I'm i missing something here ? did i do anything wrong?  am i crazy or I'm just being played around with. i cut her and stopped giving her extra attention since that and now she is texting me then when i reply she takes ages to reply which is making my body feel sick and ill. am i over reacting?

[Preety_India]

@AlwaysJoggin if you really want to attract someone who is sincere with you, you will need to respect their boundaries, it's not about arguing why she wouldn't want a kiss or imposing your will on her, I have been interested in many men in life yet I didn't want to be sexual instantly get sexual. I wanted to take my own  time with it. 

And if you want to present yourself as respectful then you should give her the space to be herself, if she is not in the mood to feel sexual, it's perfectly alright, maybe she wants to take it slow and you shouldn't be hard pressed on it, rather respect her choice and space and let her go with it how she wants to. 

If you get frustrated with her actions, it shows your neediness. If she expressed a liking for you, its already a good thing and you should appreciate that and at the same time appreciate who she is and what she wants. 

If you want to love someone, try considering their needs first. And respect their boundaries. So just because she said no, you don't have to be offended. Your reaction should be of acceptance rather than offense.