My peers aren't even doing consciousness work and their life seems better

[SolarWarden]

12 hours ago, Username said:

People are desensitized, this is why they seem to be ok. If you look in close enough you will see that they act compulsively without even realizing it. Most people are ok only because of ignorance.

I also feel like I'm below average but I suspect it's untrue. Unconscious patternsn are becoming conscious. Some time is needed to clean things up.

Thanks for your response, this helped me to understand this topic.

[Michal__]

11 hours ago, fopylo said:

@Michal__

Reading this felt a bit uncomfortable since it goes against what Leo talks about. I guess it could be nice to have those skills but I need to first build my foundation. This is why I've became interested in raising my consciousness. I've tried starting a business but quickly realized I have many mental blocks and it was too painful for me (such as having the pressure for choosing a niche and not knowing what to go with, doubting if this is even something I want to pursue...), and so I decided that I need to build a strong inner foundation.

 

How? What does this even mean?

 

Oh man, you have no idea. I've tried using affirmations for like a month (quite a while ago). It felt good for like a week at most. I've took it seriously and put emotion and imagination into it. Overtime it just became very overwhelming (because of the effort I put into repeating it with emotion) and I just had to let it go. I didn't see any improvements from it at the time being. But, I might be open to it again sometime

Leo isn't against basic self help (business & seduction). It's important to have stage orange stuff handled, otherwise it will come back and bite you.

When you're very concentrated life feels like someone switched the difficulty to easy.

Read GreenWoods guide https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/62226-using-subliminals-for-manifestation-guide

 

[fopylo]

@SamC Thanks man. But I didn't quite understand why should I put my focus on the material stuff. Like, I get it's nice, but why should I focus on it first and more than meditation. Isn't meditation the best thing to do since it builds the foundation?

[EddieEddie1995]

@fopylo

Just now, fopylo said:

@SamC Thanks man. But I didn't quite understand why should I put my focus on the material stuff. Like, I get it's nice, but why should I focus on it first and more than meditation. Isn't meditation the best thing to do since it builds the foundation?

Spiral Dynamics, Maslow's Hierarchy of needs etc. are just maps. There are no rules! 

Meditate, take psychedelics, fuck around, make money, play video games... at the same time! 

This is what I did! Try to not skip meditation though

 

Edited April 19, 2021 by EddieEddie1995

[Epikur]

3 minutes ago, fopylo said:

@SamC Thanks man. But I didn't quite understand why should I put my focus on the material stuff. Like, I get it's nice, but why should I focus on it first and more than meditation. Isn't meditation the best thing to do since it builds the foundation?

Meditation on it's own is quite worthless. It creates space so you can fill it with stuff. You should want to fill it with some productive stuff. You don't want to walk around like an empty zombie without mission.

After many years I used counting meditation because the classic meditation made me too empty and spaced out. So you might want to do meditation that is  a bit less empty.

You live in a material world don't use too many shortcuts. Give yourself time to learn stuff. Make time your ally. Even if others look like being better take your own pace.
 

[Epikur]

3 minutes ago, EddieEddie1995 said:

@fopylo

Spiral Dynamics, Maslow's Hierarchy of needs etc. are just maps. There are no rules! 

Meditate, take psychedelics, fuck around, make money, play video games... at the same time! 

This is what I did! Try to not skip meditation though

 

The rule is if you don't put in the work you get your ass kicked 

[fopylo]

@Leo Gura Thanks for the reply Leo!
It seems however that you're saying that they are living more happily and with flow and love because of their ignorance (if I understood correctly), while I am more stuck and have resistance because I am contemplating more (?)
But it kind of goes against what you say, because if they are not so conscious then how are they living with more flow? Isn't it the case that the more conscious you are, the more loving and at flow you are?
You also mentioned that they have practiced mindfulness, but it's hard for me to believe they've been meditating.
I guess what you're trying to say is that I'm at a "learning curve" and I'm experiencing now kinda shit life but it will get better exponentially.

In any case, as an update, I am starting to feel less in the territory of social anxiety and I feel I'm starting to move somewhere in the middle from shy to socially anxious. Which is great! It is totally amazing and I couldn't believe it! It might sound funny but it just proved to me that this a path that will lead to greatness! It really does feel different in a way hard to explain. Maybe, as a child could be a good explanation? Anyways your videos help a shit ton

[SamC]

21 minutes ago, fopylo said:

@SamC Thanks man. But I didn't quite understand why should I put my focus on the material stuff. Like, I get it's nice, but why should I focus on it first and more than meditation. Isn't meditation the best thing to do since it builds the foundation?

@fopylo I am not saying you shouldn't meditate. Meditation is amazing and 100% foundational, but that doesn´t mean that you should neglect the material world and your basic needs. I mean, how are you going to have the time and passion to meditate when you´re stuck cleaning dishes at Starbucks 8 hours a day for 10 bucks an hour?  How are you going to get enlightened when all you deeply want is a hot witch sucking your pe,pe?

Focus on both, for sure, do some meditation and shit but be strategic about it, have a plan, and don´t dismiss your lower needs. Discover what you want and how you would want to impact the world and exhaust those needs so that you can transcend them later. 

Meditation and spirituality won´t go anywhere, save it for later when you have a better foundation to reach the higher dimensions of life.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, fopylo said:

Thanks for the reply Leo!
It seems however that you're saying that they are living more happily and with flow and love because of their ignorance (if I understood correctly), while I am more stuck and have resistance because I am contemplating more (?)
But it kind of goes against what you say, because if they are not so conscious then how are they living with more flow? Isn't it the case that the more conscious you are, the more loving and at flow you are?

There is a heavy cost for awakening.

It's high investment, high return.

You are in that phase of this journey where your investment is high but return little.

Consider that all the greatest things in life have high upfront investment with little immediate return.

Which is why fools stay poor.

The fool is one who judges a thing by its short-term returns.

There is no question your friends are fools. The only question is you.

[mandyjw]

When I was 15 a traumatic emotional event happened and I got an intense migraine. After I recovered I realized had eye floaters, realized they were permanent and started focusing on them. I had all kinds of thoughts. "Oh my God, am I going blind? I can't even look at the sky anymore, there are all these strange projections of strings and dots." My algebra class had white walls and I would unfocus my eyes and stare at my eye floaters instead of paying attention to anything else. I found an online internet forum for people with eye floaters, full of people absolutely miserable about this situation. Instead of finding any support there, I found a ton of people FAR more obsessed and depressed about it than I was. I started polling everyone older than me, do you have eye floaters? Almost everyone said yes, but no one seemed affected by it or cared about it. 

Then I realized that if I just focused on what I was seeing, on what I wanted to look at instead of the floaters, they might as well not even exist. They didn't exist, unless I focused on them. 

The importance of focus and focusing on what you want to see, not what you do not want to see is HUGE when it comes to consciousness and personal development. If you focus on the neurosis, whether in yourself or in others that's all you see.  

However, the amazing thing about it is that is shows you that you CAN raise your standards, that anything is possible, but you must focus on what you WANT. You are a powerful focuser. Lots of people who find there way "here" are. The problem with that is that it makes it of upmost importance that you recognize the power of focus IS to focus on what you want. Meditation teaches us to relax our thinking, the tensions and then, it opens to door to inspiration which is the power behind, and the eventual direction for what you want to focus on. 

 

[Cireeric]

I think of this in a little model I have in my head, im not sure how true it is.

But I see it in 3 levels or stages:

1.) People are good socially, but not really conscious, dont really know what going on and its not build in a stable fundament. 

2.) People get more aware, more introspective and cause of that can be a bit more self-conscious and it can be harder to socialize.

3.) People who are conscious of whats going on and also introspective aware of themselves and then master to socialize on a stable foundation.

So continue your consciousness work and also go out and learn to socialize and eventually you will get to stage 3. But its also a lot about letting go, just seeing the social interactions as fun dont get too analytical about it.

[intotheblack]

I don't know you or your friends, but it could be that they seem happier and more carefree because they are in general more secure and had a good upbringing ?  Usually if you had these things you tend not to look towards self help or question things since you have a more positive outlook, so you flow more naturally, you are more confident in yourself.  

Whereas if you grew up under different circumstances you will be more oriented towards self help and spirituality to guide you.  because of suffering. 

It's suffering that leads to awakening...   

It's not that they are more conscious than you, but they are already acting from a place of love.  It's easier to be loving and flowing when you had no suffering.  

 

[mandyjw]

When considering your peers, consult Maslow's peer amid. In the middle is relationships (sense of love and belonging) and esteem (respect for self and others). Maybe focus and journal about that area of your life, focusing on what you want. 

[Epikur]

27 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

I don't know you or your friends, but it could be that they seem happier and more carefree because they are in general more secure and had a good upbringing ?  Usually if you had these things you tend not to look towards self help or question things since you have a more positive outlook, so you flow more naturally, you are more confident in yourself.  

Whereas if you grew up under different circumstances you will be more oriented towards self help and spirituality to guide you.  because of suffering. 

It's suffering that leads to awakening...   

It's not that they are more conscious than you, but they are already acting from a place of love.  It's easier to be loving and flowing when you had no suffering.  

 

I agree with that. They had the meta skills learned and trained by their parents. If you didn't have that you have to be your own parent. Sometimes you can't even learn stuff properly that you should have learned when you were younger. You have to accept that you have a disadvantage and live with that.

[fopylo]

@Bando I get what you're saying, but it's just that after watching some of Leo's videos and taking action on my part and assessing, I've realized that all I ultimately want in life will come from within me and I just need to work on myself, and that the happiness and fulfillment will come through raising my consciousness. I understand that money won't make me happy and so with dating. Do you mean it in the sense that those can help me stay stable in for the ultimate goal of pursuing awareness? I am relatively young, you might say, but I still feel that practicing self acceptance and mindfulness meditation really helps me feel more integrated and in touch with reality, which is such a great feeling. This is one of the only times I've truly understood what growth really means, and that I haven't really grown until then.

[Leo Gura]

@fopylo Make sure you take the time to master survival and basic self-help. Don't get ahead of your skiis.

[fopylo]

@Snader

6 hours ago, Snader said:

Their close-mindedness and unconsciousness might even disgust you. Then it's important to admit it, accept it and keep working on yourself with a good conscience. After you've done enough personal development so that you are grounded in your values and your mission in life, then it is much easier to socialize even with lower consciousness people without any guilt, because you are grown and you can see down and understand the route of development.

Thanks! I really needed to hear that part. As a continuation to the concern I raised, comes the fact that it is much harder for me to socialize since I see them all as "lower/less conscious" or something like that. I feel a bit disgusted and don't want to surround myself with those people. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and so I don't want to be influenced back into unconsciousness. This is part of the reason why I feel like a victim when it comes to relationships (I've watched recently Leo's video about how to stop being a victim)

[fopylo]

@SamC

2 hours ago, SamC said:

I am not saying you shouldn't meditate. Meditation is amazing and 100% foundational, but that doesn´t mean that you should neglect the material world and your basic needs. I mean, how are you going to have the time and passion to meditate when you´re stuck cleaning dishes at Starbucks 8 hours a day for 10 bucks an hour?  How are you going to get enlightened when all you deeply want is a hot witch sucking your pe,pe?

You cracked me lmao. But from what I understand, our truest desires have to do with spirituality (feeling the magic of existence, being totally mindful,... Leo has a video on that). I am not saying I'm going to neglect it.
I would like to think about it as though I am trying to build a foundation of self acceptance and mindfulness (just the amount that I need in order to function normally), and then it can propel me to take better action.

 

3 hours ago, SamC said:

Focus on both, for sure, do some meditation and shit but be strategic about it, have a plan, and don´t dismiss your lower needs. Discover what you want and how you would want to impact the world and exhaust those needs so that you can transcend them later. 

I am kind of dismissing them, because I have the idea about them that they won't have the impact that I'm looking for on my life.

[fopylo]

1 hour ago, intotheblack said:

It's not that they are more conscious than you, but they are already acting from a place of love.  It's easier to be loving and flowing when you had no suffering

But the more loving you are, you must have more awareness, no? I wasn't talking about my friends (in fact, I don't know if I really have friends) but in people in general, from my same age group.

[fopylo]

@mandyjw

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

When considering your peers, consult Maslow's peer amid. In the middle is relationships (sense of love and belonging) and esteem (respect for self and others). Maybe focus and journal about that area of your life, focusing on what you want. 

I have seen the video on Maslow's Pyramid and really looked into all the comments and read more about it to get a bigger picture of this model. Although I still live in my parents house I would like to take care of my finances so I value this. Once I start investing a bit in mutual funds through the bank, then I have all the tier of love and belonging - which is the reason I practice self acceptace and mindfulness to build the foundation for it